Dear X

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Dear Wasband,

I really hope that you're not sending me on a wild- goose chase.

Signed,

:rolleyes:
 
Dear USPS,

You don't need to waste more money by sending me mail telling me you've improved priority mail. No wonder you're bankrupt. You can do away with Saturday mail also.

Regretfully need you on a fairly daily basis,

Aqua
 
Dear Gym ...

Thanks for kicking my ass tonight! Maybe next time not so much aome times I wanna kick your ass!!

Sliming down and toning up,
Sarah
 
Dear Wasband,

I actually enjoyed our conversation yesterday, but I am not ready to see you face to face.

Oh and you asking me, if it's just me and the girls here, really? :rolleyes:

You know that I don't bring anybody to my house.

I do miss all of us praying together. :rose:

Signed,

Complicated. ;)
 
Dear Dexter writers,

You wasted the final season on a load of useless horse shit and capped it off with the most ridiculous final episode ever. Please.. let's forget it ever happened and have a do over. I won't tell if you don't.

Beyond disappointed,
Dexter Addict.

:(:(:( it's not been aired here yet but reading this doesn't sound like I want it to be either
 
If you're a fan you'll have to see it out. I'll be interested to hear what you think. When does it air?

I've had a foreboding sense of doom about the ending for a few weeks.... It airs this weekend I think.

Maybe they'll listen and rewrite it before then :)
 
Dear Daughter,

Tomorrow you turn 19. Where has the time gone? It seems like yesterday I was bringing you home from the hospital.

You have taught me so much in 19 years. Starting with how to cope with a baby with colic to a pre-teen who cut. To the wonderful young lady who stayed with her dying patient at the nursing home until her daughter got there because she didn't want her to die alone. Together we grew both mentally and spiritually.

99% of the time I am very proud to call you my daughter, the other 1% of the time you are your fathers daughter.

So tomorrow when you open your presents, don't think twice about taking the $100.00 bill in your birthday card, yeah it is way to much and I don't normally give that much for birthday but its OK to take this gift from me because 4 weeks ago you gave that 100 to me when I washed your jeans. The other 20 I kept as my laundry money.

One day ya'll will learn to clean out your pockets

Love,
Mom
 
Dear Daughter,

Tomorrow you turn 19. Where has the time gone? It seems like yesterday I was bringing you home from the hospital.

You have taught me so much in 19 years. Starting with how to cope with a baby with colic to a pre-teen who cut. To the wonderful young lady who stayed with her dying patient at the nursing home until her daughter got there because she didn't want her to die alone. Together we grew both mentally and spiritually.

99% of the time I am very proud to call you my daughter, the other 1% of the time you are your fathers daughter.

So tomorrow when you open your presents, don't think twice about taking the $100.00 bill in your birthday card, yeah it is way to much and I don't normally give that much for birthday but its OK to take this gift from me because 4 weeks ago you gave that 100 to me when I washed your jeans. The other 20 I kept as my laundry money.

One day ya'll will learn to clean out your pockets

Love,
Mom

I thought I was the only Mom who thought money found when doing laundry was a tip! Love your birthday letter to your daughter. Sounds like you are a great mother.
 
I thought I was the only Mom who thought money found when doing laundry was a tip! Love your birthday letter to your daughter. Sounds like you are a great mother.

Oh hell no. Laundry money is always mine. My kids have always been told I don't check pockets
I squeeze to make sure there's no pens or cell phones.....money is mine.

Next week she can Pay me that 100 back for rent. :D
 
Dear Daughter In Law,
You aren't the prettiest one he ever dated. You aren't the classiest one he ever dated. You aren't the smartest one, but you are rudest one and for some unknown reason he married you. You have a treasure of a man as your husband. You have ruined the opportunity finally, of a warm and loving mother in law. I will no longer take up for you when my son criticizes you. I will no longer advise him to be patient with your bitchy ways. I will not run you down to him, but I also will no longer praise where there is no reason for praise.
Enjoy being his first wife while you can. I don't hate you or wish you ill, to me you are not worth the energy for either of those actions. Instead, be very careful. Karma is a red headed bitch and she will set her sites on you someday and then you will have a rude awakening.
Your First Mother In Law....no matter how much you hate it you rude, petty bitch.
 
Dear hiccups,

Please go away. Not only are you causing the bed to bounce, but you are keeping me up.

Me
 
Dear week,

Fuck you. I fucking survived everything you threw at me and I can now bench press a fucking Buick, that's how much stronger I am. No matter what happens in the next few weeks/months, I will look back at this week as one of the tipping points in my life. Square biz. And I am the better for it.

Also. Soon it will be wine o'clock.
 
Dear Two Travel Sites that have a parent/child relationship

Between you both you have created a wealth of feeling within me that screams you suck!
By the way, upgrading me from silver to gold membership was insulting and poorly timed when I received those emails, regardless of how my accomodation bookings fell. Also the clock is ticking concerning my enquiry which again blows your response time of four hours out the fucking window. At least when I blow, I always get the desired result. In four hours I blew him three times, and I didn't have to buy him dinner. I suggest you get timely. I'll have no hesitation in naming you. It's called feedback baby. Rule number one. A dissatisfied customer usually knows 10 people.

Signed snowball to the power of ten

Dear Border Agencies From Edinburg, Heathrow, Kuala Lumpur enroute to Bangkok

You know that covert search you conducted? Ya know, the black soft sided case that wasn't locked? Fuckers, you should not have relocked the body lotion mechanism when you tested the product for narcotics/explosives. You should have cleaned up the lotion that you spilt over my clothing and most of all, dumbasses, you forgot to put back the emerald sundress I had last packed in Paris cos that was the last place it was hot before Bangkok. The final insult was the damage to the zipper pulls. What? Did you seriously think there was another locking mechanism when no padlocks were visible? Did you think by moving the zip pull or pulling them off a lock would miraculously appear? I know damn well enough that if you want "in" to a bag, you will get into a bag. I was born in '65, not yesterday. I hope that search was done under cctv cos I will so have your arses nailed to a wall.

Signed Seriously Pissed Off you fucking amatuers.
 
Dear Two Travel Sites that have a parent/child relationship

Between you both you have created a wealth of feeling within me that screams you suck!
By the way, upgrading me from silver to gold membership was insulting and poorly timed when I received those emails, regardless of how my accomodation bookings fell. Also the clock is ticking concerning my enquiry which again blows your response time of four hours out the fucking window. At least when I blow, I always get the desired result. In four hours I blew him three times, and I didn't have to buy him dinner. I suggest you get timely. I'll have no hesitation in naming you. It's called feedback baby. Rule number one. A dissatisfied customer usually knows 10 people.

Signed snowball to the power of ten

Dear Border Agencies From Edinburg, Heathrow, Kuala Lumpur enroute to Bangkok

You know that covert search you conducted? Ya know, the black soft sided case that wasn't locked? Fuckers, you should not have relocked the body lotion mechanism when you tested the product for narcotics/explosives. You should have cleaned up the lotion that you spilt over my clothing and most of all, dumbasses, you forgot to put back the emerald sundress I had last packed in Paris cos that was the last place it was hot before Bangkok. The final insult was the damage to the zipper pulls. What? Did you seriously think there was another locking mechanism when no padlocks were visible? Did you think by moving the zip pull or pulling them off a lock would miraculously appear? I know damn well enough that if you want "in" to a bag, you will get into a bag. I was born in '65, not yesterday. I hope that search was done under cctv cos I will so have your arses nailed to a wall.

Signed Seriously Pissed Off you fucking amatuers.

*phew*...glad you have no qualms with me!:eek:
 
*phew*...glad you have no qualms with me!:eek:

Ohhh bollocks! You is drop dead gorgeous, with a heart and soul to match.
You ain't that stupid!

I'm enjoying watching them squirm though. If the websites correct a couple of issues it will bring peace of mind to other travels ad infini. Three days to respond to my initial enquiry? 30minutes after I responded to their apology telling them my thoughts, they upgraded me to gold? Dumb! If they answered the question that would have been different.


I was juuuuuuuust hoping the same thing

Shussh you. Eat dinner! :p
 
Ohhh bollocks! You is drop dead gorgeous, with a heart and soul to match.
You ain't that stupid!

I'm enjoying watching them squirm though. If the websites correct a couple of issues it will bring peace of mind to other travels ad infini. Three days to respond to my initial enquiry? 30minutes after I responded to their apology telling them my thoughts, they upgraded me to gold? Dumb! If they answered the question that would have been different.




Shussh you. Eat dinner! :p

I did! and I took meds. Good boy I am :p
 
Dear Dating,

I am done with you. It is a waste of my time and women do not appreciate the man I am and what I have to offer. Im tired of being strung along and then dropped. So peace out, Im going golfing.
 
Dear staff at the doctor's office,

Thank you for not calling me back for two days and for being closed on Friday afternoons. Now I can spend the weekend wondering and worrying, that's just what I wanted.

Signed,

Next time something happens that scares you I hope you get better service than what you've given me
 
Dear girl at the costume shop,

I appreciate your efforts in trying to piece together the catwoman costume I want to wear to this years' Halloween bash. However, I am pretty sure catwoman had neither a bondage collar, corset nor a whip. Do the 4" leather stilettos boots really scream mistress? I will wear these lovely black gloves you picked out for me the next time someone needs a spanking. What I'd like to know is where I can find a black body suit that isn't more suitable for a latex party.

Sigh,
Maybe I should cover myself in fur.
 
Dear Hotter Than God Should Have Made You Guy At Starbucks Friday Afternoon After Work.......

I very seldom give guys my correct phone number......I want you to use it, but it does have a 72 hour shelf life........

Signed

I know you wanna.....
 
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