Dear X

[Midnight_Man]

Dear God,

I'm not sure if you exist or not, but if you do can bring peace among men, shine a little light of happiness on the downtrodden, and make sure every child has a warm bed and full belly at the end of the day. That's all.

MM

 

[Golden_Silence]

Dear R,

The fact that you chose this morning to communicate that message to me by text, just shows you never fucking learned a damn thing about me. I'm not one of your cohorts or fuckwit friends from that arsehole end of the country, I'm your father.

But then I never needed to guess who your mother was did I? You portray her in so many ways its fucking scary - guess the mobile is going to have to reinvent itself as a self topping up one - cos the bank of daddy just went into administration

 

[Thomasoir]

Dear X

Ask me, the answer will be yes

me

 

[sexy_hottie_2003]

dear heart,

please stop trying to make a fool of me. i've had too much heartbreak in my life to try to dare take the chance and get you broken again. i will not share my thoughts or feeling with a certain someone knowing that only bad would come of it if i did. so please try to refain from beating wildly every time he comes into view. i'm going to protect you this time so you will never get hurt again.

me

 

[GoldenGams]

Boss Lady,

We have deadlines for a f@#^$* reason. There's no way we can get this thing out on time if you keep letting people submit information until 3 p.m. on the 29th (two weeks after)!

I hope you and the posse enjoy your private chats while you can. There are four jobs hot in the papers now, and I intend to get one of them.

 

[Thomasoir]

Dear Ms yoga teacher.

You have the sexiest ass I've ever seen

Sincerely

me

 

[NattyBumppo]

Dear Patient,

It's too bad your behavior caused this. I'm sure this hospital stay isn't any fun, and I do hope you improve. But I also hope you change your wiley ways.

Worried About You Litster

 

[Tawny_Temptress]

Dear Lister

I am sorry you are having problems but I am not responsible for them. I am sorry you were confused but it isnt my fault either. I hope your life turns out like you want, I really do. But you cant just "do that" and expect me to hang around or hang out with you. You should have said what you meant and wanted upfront and not done it like this.

Take care

 

[pedicur8her]

Dear Lady,

Ask what you will of me and it is yours.

But only if it is mine to give.

At your pleasure,

Pedicur8her ...

 

[call_me_Melody]

Dear You are an idiot CEO,

Um... WTF?
I cannot write you the email I would like because I don't want my hand slapped again. You are an ass.. I swear to God, did you really just refer to yourself that way? Holy friggin, omg hell... IDIOT.

Please refrain from ever using these terms again:

"Teamwork" Cause we know what this means right? This means give it to Melody she'll fix it.

"Living Document" Cause this is just a project that Melody has worked on for 9 bazillion hours and then you change your mind AGAIN and want it changed. *eyeroll*

"Action Items" Are you fucking kidding me loser? This means.. all the things you just came up with that you want done yesterday.. just say that it makes you look like less of a idiot. Not not an idiot, but less of one.

"Human Capital" Yeah.. I'm still bitching about that...

You pompous ass...

*dramatic eyeroll*

I will do it your way, as always, I will make your nonsense work and you will look like a dream. You owe me. AGAIN.

Signed...
Feeling like a corporate whore...
Melody

 

[Morrigu]

Dear Troll

If the memo exists then give me a copy don't just go quoting rubbish from it.

Looking forward to have something else to ignore.

 

[fathom7]

Dear Cheapskate:

Here's the deal. You contracted with someone who did a job for you that was, politely, not what you needed. Now you want me to come in and fix it while recognizing the tough economic times. This is code for -- you want a quote that is cheap.

Here's the drill. I provided you a quote for the work that IS a discount you schmuck. The work necessary is not as though I am starting from scratch but it is a complete redo of what you paid for in the first place. I am regretful that you made the mistake but the point is: YOU MADE THE MISTAKE. Not me.

You don't want quality work? Fine. Some other asshole will come along and be happy to quote you a price that is more in line with what you are willing to pay. The end result will be a total fuck job by compounding the first job you had done. When that happens -- PLEASE do not come to me and ask for a quote to fix this double mess.

You have a shot at getting it right and simple -- however it will cost you some money. As for the "economic times" -- I got news -- the times are tough all over. This means that I have to make enough money myself to survive and not provide charity for mistakes made by others. It's called self-responsibility asshole.

Now -- if you do come to your senses: I'll be waiting, but you will rotate to the back of the line of clients who desire and are willing to pay for my services.

That is all.

 

[sexy_hottie_2003]

Dear Valentine's Day,


I'm so excited this year for you. I don't know why. Maybe it's because i'm hoping my husband will treat me to a good v-day. Maybe it's because i'm getting older. I'm just feeling the love so much this year. And i want everyone else too. So please cupid make it good for me this year.

Sincerely,
Steph

 

[Golden_Silence]

Dear Shoulder..

7 more fucking days and then we'll know how you are going to stop pissing and moaning like a bitch after 4 hours of me trying to get some valued fucking sleep and waking me up.

Seriously aggravated and up to bloody early litster

 

[sexy_hottie_2003]

Dear IRS,


THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! That's all I can for giving me a massive refund. I am so happy. I could almost love you...almost .

Me

 

[Morrigu]

Dear X,

Best leave it like that.

Me

 

[red_lynn]

Dear hubby's boss,

Please get your new hire in quickly. I am not a fan of hallway sex. He's only been on graveyard for a week and I'm already cranky. Make me deal with more than the month he promised to help you with and I may go insane.

missing my honey me

 

[fathom7]

Dear Woman in the Silver Scion xB:

It would be toooooo weird if when you saw my license plate, pulled up alongside and acknowledged that "Hey -- so you're FATHOM7" that you would be a Litster too.
Sadly -- the traffic noise was too much and I didn't catch your name before we drove off. You sounded nice and were most pleasant. If there was some other reason the license plate alerted you -- well -- nevermind.

 

[Kitty_Schrödinger]

Dear X,
seriously?
Me

 

[Lorilei]

Dear X,

I really, really, REALLY think you're a world-class idiot. I'm surprised you can even manage to tie your own shoes, much less function on a basic human level. The worst part is that you seem to think of yourself as intelligent (even though you probably can't spell the word).

Disliking You More and More With Every Post You Make,
Me

 

[sexy_hottie_2003]

Dear Love (the emotion),

Boy you really did it this time. Sneaking up on me like that. You know I wasn't looking for you and I sure wasn't looking to fall. But I have and it's great but it's crazy and its wonderful and scary and all of that. Just when I think I've escaped your grip you grab onto me again and pull me back in. I'm not mad. I am just riding this wave of wonderful goodness that I don't want to end. Thank you for bringing yourself into my life again. Let's just hope you last longer than the last time.

Me

 

[Guest]

Dear pathetic, hypocritical lying, evil litster, ex-litster, litster, ex-litster... whatever you are this month,

If you don't miss this place as you keep on saying, why don't you just fuck off and stop coming back all the time?

 

[Razzbeary]

Dear pathetic, hypocritical lying, evil litster, ex-litster, litster, ex-litster... whatever you are this month,

If you don't miss this place as you keep on saying, why don't you just fuck off and stop coming back all the time?

What? People would do that?
I do know exactly what you mean..

 

[Lorilei]

Dear X,

I have to admit, it hurts me that we're not friends anymore. Sure, you're "friend-ly", but that's not the same thing. We never talk one-on-one anymore, and we used to talk for hours at a time, pretty much every day. It stopped so abruptly that I don't even know what happened. I see you've made a lot of other friends, and that's wonderful. I just wish you still had some room in your life for me.

Love,
Miss You

 

[pedicur8her]

Dear Lady,

I do so enjoy our time together and wish that it were longer and more frequent. You delight my heart with your bright words and your gentle playfulness. Each time we run and play together makes me want you here, with me, so that the fun we share will never have to end. I hope that you will not tire of our sport and that you will think of me as often as I think of you ...