Dear X

[lovemonster]

Dear Facebook Friends,

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn174/lw1967/facebook.jpg

Love,
Me

ROFL..that made me laff.

 

[Lorilei]

ROFL..that made me laff.

...

 

[Millianthe]

Dear rational thinking and emotions;

Would you two please hurry the hell up and get it together? Is it too much to ask that you both form a decent decision that does not involve junk food or chocolate?

Just sayin...!

Sincerely
The bitch that you are making second guess everyday choices

 

[kendra1980]

Dear Head Full of Hectic Thoughts,

I would really like to rest tonight. My body is fatigued, but you will not shut down, so, could you please take it from 100 mph, to a nice 25 mph so I can rest?

The last two days have been hectic and sometimes hateful...and YOU KNOW IT!

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

Dear Sangria
why did you taste so yummy yesterday and make mah tummy all wobbly today?
I thought you luffed me

 

[XsnowbunnyX]

Dear Idiot,

Hi, I don't know if you remember me, but we just got married a little bit ago. That makes me your wife, not your daughter. So if you're done playing "grown-up", give me my fucking car keys back you self-serving asshole. I'm not five years old. We do not work on a "privilege" system.

With love,
Your Soon-To-Be-Ex

 

[goodgirl79]

Dear X,

Many, many, many (shall I go on?) moons ago, a friend from college thought you and I would be a hit. She gave you my phone number and you've never stopped calling since. That wouldn't be a problem, except that you have some serious issues. As I'm only BA trained in Psych-I can't help you. I've told you I don't want you calling, and have not answered any of your calls in about 2.5 YEARS. I've even gone so far as to tell you that I'm married to a police officer-and it has been in vain.

Please stop calling. I don't want to have to change a number I've had for 11 years.

Someone angry enough to seriously hurt you...

 

[MollyDolly]

Dear Family Friend's Girlfriend,

I have known your boyfriend literally my entire life (my mom has pics of us as babies bathing together ), and he hasn't a selfish or cruel bone in his body. He would do anything for anyone, and he's always there for the people he loves. He and I aren't even that close, but he always makes me feel welcome and comfortable when I visit his family.

Now, that being said, you think that he ignores you? You think he's being selfish because he doesn't stop, mid-song on his fiddle, to say good night to you? You think that since he won't see you for, hmm, 16 hours that he should drop everything and tell you how much he loves you "Cookie" and can't wait to see you TOMORROW? Seriously, how fucking old are you?

And more importantly, try going months without seeing him. Imagine that. You're so fucking lucky and you don't even know it. You have the man you love right there, 10 minutes from your house, all the time. Don't smother him- I saw what happened with his last girlfriend. She tried the same possessive, whiny shit, and he left her.

Keep this up, and he'll leave your ass too.

Signed, A Sickened Family Friend

 

[Lorilei]

Dear Anthony Bourdain,

Do me. Hard. NOW.

Kthxbai.

Love,
Your Willing Sex Slave

 

[TastyMe]

Dear Monday,
Why must you exist? Why can't you be more like Friday, carefree and happy? Why do you always seem to come with this "This week I have to....." list? Why do you make getting up to greet you so difficult? Don't you realize the rest of the days are so much better? Maybe you should try harder.
Signed,
Dissatisfied with you

 

[donutjoe]

Dear Friend,
We have not communicated for sometime now. I know you wondered what happened and why I donot reply. I know you need finality and I do not want to hold that from you. Our communication stopped because the person I knew disappeared. The person was caring, kind, and wanted to help others. But the person changed. The person decided to become an object, a thing, or entertainment. Somehow and somewhere the person lost themselves. It saddens me to say, you my friend are that person. There are people that still care and will help you find yourself, but it starts with you and I fear that time is not now.

Take care,

Lost Friend.

 

[TastyMe]

Dear birds,
Quit flying into my windows. You can't come inside. You scare the shit out of me every time you do that.
Signed,
Spilled coffee on myself thanks to you

 

[husky4life]

Dear Lustful Listers,

Cum join me . . .

Sincerely,
Horny Guy

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Dear life...

Thank you for flowing so much more smoothly than you have in a long time. Please continue to do this for as long as you feel I'm worthy of it. . .which if you know it were up to me, would be very short.

~ Red

 

[EnglishRoseFox]

Dear Officious Council Employee
Bite Me...I won't be paying any fines.
Take Your Twin Bins And Shove Them Up Your A**e Householder

*smiles sweetly*

 

[bisolom]

Dear soon-to-be ex-roomate, selfish, arrogant, bitch...

Remember the last time you fucked me over?
You were smiling and I said: "Now its my turn."

Enjoy!

 

[DoRaMe]

Dear beads on my work table...

Yes, I hear you calling. Yes, I know I need to turn you into a bracelet by Thursday. Tell my foggy head to clear up and stop hurting and maybe you will get done.

Trying to meet a deadline

 

[heartoftexasgrl]

Dear mediocre sex guy,

Stop fucking texting me. We tried it drunk. We tried it sober. It's been like two months of me refusing to give it another go. It's just sad, now.
You are bad at sex. I'm sorry, but it's true.

Love,
T

 

[jenniferbaby]

Dear Pimple on my Face,

Go Away! I've been dealing with you fuckers since middle school. Can't I get a fucking break???

Wanting clear skin for once.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Tears,

I'd really appreciate it if you stayed in my eyes from time to time. Having you run down my face at odd and sundry times during the day, especially in public, doesn't work for me. Isn't there something we can work out?

Tired of crying, especially in public.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Co-worker,

Why do you breathe and eat so fucking loud? Do you have any concern for the fact that it makes me angry and want to throw things?

Your irritated co-worker.

 

[GoodOmen]

Dear mailman,
Stop delivering my mail to the people one street over! I know they're tired of bringing it over here, and I'm tired of getting important letters late!
Get your shit together, man!
~Dude at the right address.

 

[MollyDolly]

Dear Philosophy Professor I Met Today,

Your casual cargo shorts and sneakers gave you away- you're a new professor. You know what else gave you away? Your need to take a lecture hall full of 50+ people and divide us randomly into groups to discuss something and write our answers on chart paper. Seriously, you are making 10% of our final mark based on working in a group every fucking class? I was willing to forgive you for the ten written assignments you are giving us worth 3% each (especially when you said they are "all or nothing" marks!), but we're in fucking university. Group work, with coloured markers and chart paper, is for high school and education courses, not for a third year philosophy course. Step it up a little.

Not the Only Annoyed Student in Your Class

 

[JennyOmanHill]

Dear NY Mets,

Please take these days off, rest and be strong for the remainder of the season!

It wouldn't be impossible for you guys to move into first, but you know you've got a LONG way to go, and I'm soooo tired of seeing other teams get stronger as the season moves on.

I'd appreciate it very much, and you know I'll always root for you.

Thanks very much,

A very concerned midwestern Mets fan.

 

[Pinktacokitty]

Dear Weather Gods....


105 is too hot, can't even lay out and tan it is just too hot, ya have to stay in the pool thats no fun.......think chill........


Sincerely...... your sweatin' lil PTK......

 

[GoodOmen]

dear sweatin' lil PTK,
Sorry, my dear, but we like seeing you wet...now if we could just get that bathing suit off...
Turning up the heat,
The Weather Gods

 

[Pinktacokitty]

Dear College football fans....


I just read my UT newsletter, two longhorns were rated the most exciting college football players of all times by SI....Vince and Earl........


Sincerely nannynannybooboohahaha.....Longhorn Fan......