Dear X

[Morrigu]

Dear Watertank

I know people have been watering their gardens and washing their cars and I've had a few water fights, but did you really have to need a refill and spoil a very crucial moment?

Draining to a drip during my shower is bordering on cruel.

Yours,

Only-slightly-damp

 

[MollyDolly]

Dear Miss Molly's brother,

I do understand you're the helpful sort to even offer to pick me up today, so thank you for that; however, it seems most times you offer to pick me up you end up being hours late and I'm left sitting here waiting. I have to be at work in just over 3 hours, I haven't had dinner, and you're not going to be here for another hour at least. Must you be so helpful and have offered to umpire that last baseball game? *sigh*

Miss Molly's Grumbling Tummy (now less grumbly due to a PB sandwich going into it)

 

[Kylan]

Dear Ex,

Alas, I feel I must break our 'no contact' order to bring to your attention a failure on your part to collect your three cans of shaving cream.

As all of my current partners have no use for them, could you please retrieve said cans at your earliest convenience, and also, if you haven't overdosed on Botox and so can move your lips, explain to them your reasons for using three cans at once in the first place.

I tried to explain your plight, but was drowned out by their laughter.

Yours smugly.

@>,-'Kylan,-'

 

[MollyDolly]

Dear Ex,

Alas, I feel I must break our 'no contact' order to bring to your attention a failure on your part to collect your three cans of shaving cream.

As all of my current partners have no use for them, could you please retrieve said cans at your earliest convenience, and also, if you haven't overdosed on Botox and so can move your lips, explain to them your reasons for using three cans at once in the first place.

I tried to explain your plight, but was drowned out by their laughter.

Yours smugly.

@>,-'Kylan,-'

Maybe they were on sale- I have three cans of shaving gel in my cupboard because they came in a three-pack *shrugs*

 

[Kylan]

Maybe they were on sale- I have three cans of shaving gel in my cupboard because they came in a three-pack *shrugs*

Dear Ex,

I'm really, really sorry for exposing you in public ...But hey, on the bright side, people are now thinking.... "MollyDolly ... and Kylan ... who knew?"

Yes, you may bask in my reflected glory, after all, we did have some good times. All I ask is that you don't kidnap my grand-parents again.

 

[MollyDolly]

Dear Ex,

I'm really, really sorry for exposing you in public ...But hey, on the bright side, people are now thinking.... "MollyDolly ... and Kylan ... who knew?"

Yes, you may bask in my reflected glory, after all, we did have some good times. All I ask is that you don't kidnap my grand-parents again.

Dear Not-so-Ex-Because-I-Won't-Let-You-Go,

No apologies necessary. True love doesn't hide. I will return your grandparents when you return your love.

Scary Ex (I've never been a scary ex before! )

 

[Kylan]

Dear Not-so-Ex-Because-I-Won't-Let-You-Go,

No apologies necessary. True love doesn't hide. I will return your grandparents when you return your love.

Scary Ex (I've never been a scary ex before! )

[laughs]

Dear Ex,

Put the knife down, put your feet up for an hour or two and make a cuppatee. Honestly, you'll feel a lot more like the polite madwoman that refuses to take no for an answer and offers tea with biscuits to all and sundry that you are.

Thing is, until you sprint ... ran ... left, I thought I was dating a girl whom I was in general pretty excited about for a couple of reasons - I mean, there has never been a fuckdoll more sexy, more intense and more filthy then you, and rest assured, I remember the times when you cried uncontrollably as I caned your ginormous globes

But, and this is your problem, you waren't submissive enoff and you cunt spill four sugar, I'm afrayed.

But I want you to know, despite your pain, suffering and the intense lack of finance you suffered because of me, I don't really feel that bad.

However, things continue, and as you start to completely hate me even more, ever growing even more unhappy with your failure to please me, I know you'll understand the true meaning of S&m.

~ Yes, you may go.

 

[AphroditeReborn]

Dear e-Harmony,

You suck.

Love,

Me

Dear e-Harmony,

See above.

Incompatibly yours,

...i

Dear e-Harmony,

Ditto

Frustratingly yours,
Wanting love in Wisconsin



Dear Lorilei,

Thanks for the awesome thread

Love,
A New Subscriber

 

[WaitingLips]

Dear My Ass,

I know you like it firm and hard, but must I walk and exercise you all the fricken time? Can't you be happy with wigglin' and jigglin'? If I take you for a walk tonight, I am buying a treat,screw ya, I have the money, you just shut up and follow.

Love someone who needs more sleep

 

[Daizie]

Dear Next-door neighbor's son,

You really are as stupid as you look. You would appear more intelligent if you didn't speak. Hearing your half-witted curse-laden conversations through my window as you and the family sat outside this afternoon made me ashamed for your mother.

~Unamused neighbor

 

[Essa]

Dear Sleep.

Three hours is nowhere near enough.

Think of my complexion.

The bags under my eyes.

The spots breaking out on my face.

Them horrid yucky purply broken vein thingamajiggys.

Good job he was worth it

 

[mascaraandpearls]

Dear Customers who tip less than fifteen percent,

Don't even bother coming in. I don't want you taking up my tables.

Love,
M&P

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

Dear Shitty Job
although in this shite economy,,I am grateful to have you...I did NOT miss you on holiday and wish I could have a few more away
alas i shall see you today again
please be nice

 

[Pinktacokitty]

Dear Monday Morning....

u suk......


Love PTK.....

 

[GoodOmen]

Dear tooth...
What's the point of having a filling if you won't let it stay in place? I'm pretty annoyed with you right now..especially because you know I hate the dentist!
Love,
Moderately in pain.

 

[Lorilei]

Dear Mondays,

You suck big fat hairy stinky donkey balls.

Love,
Me

 

[kiba]

dear my lazy ass
get up and do something today

 

[availableslave2u]

dear reality,
i'm not ready to face you yet. would you mind going to bother someone else for awhile?
happy in denial

 

[Lorilei]

Dear Slave,

{{{{ hugs }}}}

Just 'cause.

Love,
Me

 

[availableslave2u]

dear lori
bigger hugs and a wet sloppy smooch in return
as2u

 

[EnglishRoseFox]

Dear World
Any chance you could stop so I could get off for a while? Thought not....
Me

 

[daintyfemme]

(Not) Dear Bastard who tried to ruin my family,

are you happy now?
but I think I have to give you bad news...
we are doing fine, now...
very fine...

and guess what...
the wedding is still on schedule....

and the good thing is...
that both my sister and my mother now know that you are nothing but a jerk

regards
the person who always have and will hate you

 

[DaveRidesAgain]

the wedding is still on

Woohoo!

 

[AphroditeReborn]

Dear Mom

Thank you for being the glue that held us all together

You will be missed greatly

Love always and forever,

Me

 

[Donkeepuncher]

Dear new mothers of america

It's not enough to just clothe and feed your children you must teach them manners, respect, good work ethic and how to overall be a contributing part of society....