Dear X

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dear sister,
i certainly hope that you, your husband and child enjoy your two week vacation. it's a shame that you've only gotten to go away about 10 times this year. I can see why you need to get away.

your comment to me last week about why you pawned your child off on your in-laws for the weekend was so sweet. you never get any time alone with your husband. i certainly hope that you had a great weekend. i mean, who knew that having a child meant that he would be around all the time? sheesh, how's a woman supposed to get anything done and how is a couple supposed to have any alone time?

you know what, you self centered bitch? i haven't had any time away. i am never alone, unless i'm sleeping or taking a shit. you have a child. i have OUR 73 year old mother. not an easy task, considering she's in the beginning stages of alzheimers.

but listen, enough of my prattling on. i know that you don't care about anything involving my life. as long as i'm here to take care of mom, that's all you need to know.

hopefully you'll come to your senses one day. it doesn't matter though. it's too late to save any hope of us having a relationship.
signed,
taking care of mom just as you expect me to.
 
Dear State I live in...

Thank you for the job offer :D In many ways it's a huge relief, and in many ways the return to the work force has me nervous. Thank you for seeing beyond the MANY jobs I've held and for understanding it was never about "job hopping" as much as it was about being a military spouse.

You don't know how elated I am to have received the phone call this morning :)

Anxiously awaiting working again :D Me
 
dear sister,
i certainly hope that you, your husband and child enjoy your two week vacation. it's a shame that you've only gotten to go away about 10 times this year. I can see why you need to get away.

your comment to me last week about why you pawned your child off on your in-laws for the weekend was so sweet. you never get any time alone with your husband. i certainly hope that you had a great weekend. i mean, who knew that having a child meant that he would be around all the time? sheesh, how's a woman supposed to get anything done and how is a couple supposed to have any alone time?

you know what, you self centered bitch? i haven't had any time away. i am never alone, unless i'm sleeping or taking a shit. you have a child. i have OUR 73 year old mother. not an easy task, considering she's in the beginning stages of alzheimers.

but listen, enough of my prattling on. i know that you don't care about anything involving my life. as long as i'm here to take care of mom, that's all you need to know.

hopefully you'll come to your senses one day. it doesn't matter though. it's too late to save any hope of us having a relationship.
signed,
taking care of mom just as you expect me to.


(((Hugs))):rose:
 
Dear Son's Teacher -

It is NOT your job to teach my son about YOUR political beliefs and affiliations. You job is to teach them about the political process...in general. Third graders do not need your opinion on how the election turned out..THEY ARE EIGHT!!!

And here's a little hint too...when you spew your political opinions, please at the very least, make sure that they are accurate! There is such a thing as Google these days. I proved that your statement to my 8 year old was total bullshit in about three minutes.

My son should not be aware of your finiancial situation in any way shape or form. Did I mention that THEY ARE EIGHT!!! I don't talk about our family's financial situation in front of my son, so YOU definitely shouldn't be doing it!

Oh, and I am keeping all of this in (except this rant and one to my husband after kids were in bed) because I do know that if I were to say anything, my son would be treated like crap for the remainder of the year. So, just know that I SOOOO fucking relieved that he's my last and I won't have to undo all of your damage to anymore kids...

Signed,

Politically Pissed Parent
 
Dear expensive samsung tv,

Why is it that you work perfectly fine in the warmer months, when it's blessed hot out outside and the air conditioner hits you just right so I know you're chilly. But when it's cold outside, with the doors closed, how the fuck do you know it's cold outside and refuse to work properly? What the hell, do you need a fire under your ass and a blanket too?

Signed,

Getting sick of you ree ree TV
 
Dear X,

Yeah, I wanna go out with you and have a nice dinner. That's why I suggested it. At a place I knew you'd like. But you need to get there on time. We have somewhere we have to be, and a decent place takes 45 min...

I guess it's BK again...:rolleyes:

Signed,

I try. I really do, but I get shot in the foot a lot...
 
Dear Kitty,

Yes, I love your furry little face so much. I think you're a wonderful heater and I find it cute when you crawl under the covers with me. You're adorable, however, sleeping on the TV is something I just can't have you do anymore. Now that I have a non-mounted flatscreen when you try to sleep on the TV I'm very afraid you'll knock it over and break it. So please, sleep with me, not mommy's expensive TV. I promise to mount it next week so this will be a non-issue...

Nervous Kitty Mom
 
Dear Bacon Demons,

Why must you torment me all day today with your deliciousness. You are seriously unrelenting.

I hate choo!

Signed

Bacon Lover, no matter where it's at
 
Dear douchey neighbor with new leaf blower,

It appears you missed two recent neighborhood memos. One was to set your clocks back, for daylight savings. The other explained that any "blowing" at 7 am should not involve the fallen leaves in your garden beds, outside my window.
You inconsiderate boob, I intend to try out my new HK receiver tonight and test it's limits. Say fifteen, maybe twenty minutes after you turn your lights out.
Before you call from your snuggy spot under the covers, that definitely is not Bob Dylan's Blowin' in the Wind rattling your window panes.

Regards,

The guy in the window trying to have breakfast and a conversation with his family.
 
Dear Guy,

Monday is our first training session. I hope that you are fun, and nice...and not a complete jackass.

I also hope that you are at least semi hot. lol

Signed,

a slightly nervous,, but excited to see what happens "client"
 
Dear Guy,

Monday is our first training session. I hope that you are fun, and nice...and not a complete jackass.

I also hope that you are at least semi hot. lol

Signed,

a slightly nervous,, but excited to see what happens "client"

It'll probably be some bald headed, but otherwise hirsute man, or some barbie. :)



Dear Person Who Disappointed Me,

I still love you but be more considerate next time. I am always considerate of you, please afford me the same courtesy.

Your Mother.



Dear Grace,

She preaches a good game but is awfully passive aggressive, which isn't living up to your name at all.

I find it funny, her lame, and quite entertaining in a journaling kind of way.

She who sees right through your schtick.
 
Dear Neighbor with the German Shepard,

This morning as I was enjoying the peace and quiet of a sleeping household, writing my newest story I heard my dog barking, not really loud, but enough to annoy me because if he barked a bunch, then my kids would wake up and my peaceful morning would be over. I then heard the neighbors' Pomeranian barking and new that that was way too much noise, so I got up and believe it or not -- did not yell at my dog, but told him simply "no" and raised my brows. He quieted down and looked sad, but the Pomeranian continued to voice its distress at something or someone outside. So I peeked out and saw your German Shepard heading East down the sidewalk, across the road, once again with no leash, but you never use one anyway, do you. You were merrily strolling along behind him, about 30 or 40 feet back. I thought nothing of it, because again that's the norm for you and your dog.

I went back to my seat and sat down, only to suddenly hear the panic in your voice as you yelled your dog's name, over and over and over again. I knew something wasn't right. You normally yell at your dog in an "I'm annoyed with you dog" voice, but this one was more worrisome.

I hurried over to the window and watched you running down the sidewalk, dart across the road and seconds before you got to my mailbox, your German Shepherd was darting to you, coming from behind the privacy fence of the Pomeranian's yard. The Pomeranian during all this was barking as loud and as screechy as usual, but then it gave one final yelp and you looked back and said, "Oh, you're not hurt." And then you walked off, with your dog happily following behind you.

I looked out my window and could not see past the fence, nor was the Pomeranian barking anymore. I hurriedly got dressed and headed outside. Another neighbor across the yard was already at the Pomeranian's owners' porch, banging on the door, but the dog was no where to be found. There were no signs of a fight, but no dog either.

Eventually she walked around the other side of the house and found the dog, but it wouldn't let her pick it up. It was favoring one side, and she and I both explained what had happened. She then told me that once the German Shepherd was back with his owner, the owner quickly got into his truck and drove off, dog in tow.

I hope Mister Neighbor with the German Shepherd that the Pomeranian owners take their dog to the vet and that they tell you to pay the bill... and I hope you do it because I don't want to go to court if you don't. Your dog is nice when it wants to be. I've witnessed it being nice and I've seen it being mean - once, as has my daughter. None of us want to go to court and see a dog put down because you are a dumbass and an idiot. Keep your dog on a leash, or that's what is going to happen and he's a beautiful dog.

From a witness that I don't think you know about - unless you post on Lit. :cool:
 
Dear Vertigo,

Oh you are some kind of Bitch, aren't you? It's a beautiful weekend here and you chose to come and hang out with me?

Dear Victims of Superstorm Sandy,

I am so sorry for you and your continued distress. I don't know that I'm strong enough to get through what you are faced with.

Dear co-workers who snuggled up in your warm dry beds again this week:

When dealing with clients who seem to be MAD for minimal reasons, please consider ...
That man who seemed to angry he could burn the place down.. lives in New York. In an area hard hit by the storm. So maybe, just MAYBE it wasn't the stale pricing of his penny stock that lit him up...
 
Dear hot guy who walked into the gym,

How's a girl supposed to play well in her game when all she can do is stare at you in those jeans and boots?!

Lustfully,
Lucky she didnt get a black eye
 
Dear hot guy who walked into the gym,

How's a girl supposed to play well in her game when all she can do is stare at you in those jeans and boots?!

Lustfully,
Lucky she didnt get a black eye

A guy wore jeans and boots to the gym? lol :p
 
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