Dear X

[availableslave2u]

Dear Husband,

Once again you have shown me just where I fit on your list of priorities. UNDER your boss and a garage door is NOT kosher.

Asshole.

Pissed off wife.

dear lynnette's husband,
are you my husband too? you bigamous ass. take care of her....or else.
right with you sister

 

[kendra1980]

Dear Louise's Husband,

I am now contacting the aliens I have been talking to about abducting the warden and Natty's ...person...to come get you too.

What a zoo that is going to be!

Sick and tired of it too!

 

[hdlynnette]

dear lynnette's husband,
are you my husband too? you bigamous ass. take care of her....or else.
right with you sister

Dear Louise's Husband,

I am now contacting the aliens I have been talking to about abducting the warden and Natty's ...person...to come get you too.

What a zoo that is going to be!

Sick and tired of it too!

I'm beyond ready!!!

 

[AphroditeReborn]

Dear Avon,

Thank you for creating Skin-So-Soft

Sincerely,
Not-so-welt-covered-anymore Me

 

[honeybeex0]

Dear Starbucks,

Although I love you dearly and cannot imagine my life without the yummy deliciousness you bring me, can you please understand and comply when I ask for soy instead of regular milk? I get very sick if you lie to me about this, and I do not appreciate it at all. My tummy is angry with you but my heart still adores you.

Sincerely, me

 

[omahaman2]

Dear Husband,

Once again you have shown me just where I fit on your list of priorities. UNDER your boss and a garage door is NOT kosher.

Asshole.

Pissed off wife.

Dear lynn's hubby
at least the kids turned out great!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_PHnRIn74Ag&feature=related

 

[EnglishRoseFox]

Dear Work
Please be kind to me today. Thank you.
Yours
Reluctant Employee

 

[bisolom]

Dear puppy,

I'm sorry your owners don't pay any attention to you.

But please stop humping my leg and biting at my crotch.

Loves animals but not that much

 

[kendra1980]

Dear Hair Salon,

I have lost my card and don't know what time my appointment is.

It is sometime today. Please be so kind and NOT be at 9, as I am not going to be able to call you at opening to see what time I am supposed to be there, and be there as well.

Thank you,

I'll try to do better (those that know me are rolling their eyes at that one)

K

 

[availableslave2u]

dear nascar fans,
i know you're all excited about the race, but please try not to be idiots, especially the drinking and driving thing. why must you clog all the roads around my house and make it impossible for me to get around? how about if you all go on one road and leave the rest to me?
happy when the weekend is over me

 

[omahaman2]

Dear coupon,

What do you mean not good on fridays?

wanting a discount litser

 

[availableslave2u]

dear me,
why did you wait an hour and a half to take your meds? now you'll be in pain. when will you ever learn?
upset with myself

 

[Lorilei]

Dear Stray Dog,

You're very pretty and very sweet, but you can't stay here. Please stop looking at me like that. You're driving the other dogs crazy. I can't feed you or give you water, because I know you won't leave if I do. You're such a sweet thing I know you must belong to someone who's missing you. Please go home.

Love,
Has a Full House Already

 

[asian_princess]

Dear Full Houser,

<looks up puppy dog eyed at you and paws gently at your leg to be let in>

Woof.

 

[goodgirl79]

Dear X

So yes, I was a little pissed when you came over for dinner and scratched my 6 day old mahogany kitchen table I paid 1900 dollars for. It irked me that you ate entirely too much for someone who had gastric banding done and kept puking in my bathroom (within earshot of those of us eating)..and called it "renting my food". Furthermore, I was irate with you when after the entire bottle of wine you had with your dinner you speculate that you are probably pregnant. Screaming "ICE CREAM POWER" at the lacross game later that night didn't add to my enthusiasm for you (while you dangled the largest ice cream cone i've ever seen, precariously over my head).

You call me incessantly-why don't you get that you annoy me? I only keep our friendship because I love your family...and your husband is a doll.

Seizures
me

ps I don't give a shit that you're having a girl.

 

[Lorilei]

Dear Full Houser,

<looks up puppy dog eyed at you and paws gently at your leg to be let in>

Woof.

Dear Woofy,

Stop! You're breaking my .

Sad,
Me

 

[omahaman2]

Dear Woofy,

Stop! You're breaking my .

Sad,
Me

Dear full houser

But...but...but
I can do tricks!!

http://www.ces.ncsu.edu/wilson/4-H/dog.gif

Please

http://www.tlcpoodles.com/apawpath.gif

 

[Lorilei]

Dear full houser

But...but...but
I can do tricks!!

http://www.ces.ncsu.edu/wilson/4-H/dog.gif

Please

http://www.tlcpoodles.com/apawpath.gif

*sobs* No, I really can't! The German shepherd already hates you, and you're lucky he can't get out of the fence. Even though you're bigger than he is.

 

[AphroditeReborn]

Dear Full Houser,

I am looking for a dog... I will place Meaty Bone Dog Biscuits from your house to mine in hopes he will follow me home

Sincerely,

Dog Lover Who Doesn't Own a Dog Right Now

 

[Lorilei]

Dear Full Houser,

I am looking for a dog... I will place Meaty Bone Dog Biscuits from your house to mine in hopes he will follow me home

Sincerely,

Dog Lover Who Doesn't Own a Dog Right Now

Dear Dog Lover,

It really is a sweet dog. Huge, white, shaggy and friendly, with the saddest brown eyes. I wish I could keep it.

Love,
Fellow Dog Lover

 

[GoldenGams]

Dear Vendor from Hell:

I can't believe your luck -- you keep winning contracts by default. If you don't step it up this time, I'm getting the hell out.


Dear Purchasing Department:

Why did we accept a bid for a monthly project from an out-of-state company, then not even bother to give them an opportunity to do the job?


Dear Leonard (nickname for boss who forgets everything):

People are walking all over you -- and it's affecting my workload. We are far too accommodating and we'll never anything out on time if we're waiting for people.


Dear Tweedledee and Tweedledum:

Just leave me alone. You will never be as fabulous as me.

 

[goodgirl79]

Dear Non-compliant patient,

What part of naked under the gown do you NOT understand? Now if I have to put a catheter in you...I first have to struggle to get off your thong/briefs/boxers, etc without pulling your unconscious ass off the table.

Don't lie and tell us you haven't had anything to eat or drink (smoke or chew) since midnight...if you've eaten-tell us...trust me, your life depends on it.

If you abuse drugs/narcotics-it's best to tell us that, too. We won't judge you...but we do really need to know. You do not experience a better high by doing lines of cocaine hours before general anesthesia...in fact, that's a good way to get your ass killed.

thank you for your anticipated compliance

the nurse

 

[BradBigBrain]

Dear Pasta Sauce,

Thanks for making the house smell so good. I can't wait to eat you.

~
Me

 

[DoRaMe]

Dear peppers on the counter...

Yes, you are roasted and I only peeled one of you, stuffed it with cheese and lovingly dipped it in egg batter. It fried to a golden brown and was delicious wrapped in a tortilla, but now you are there waiting for me to peel the rest of you even though my craving for you is now gone...


Already eaten lunch litster

 

[hdlynnette]

Dear Husband,

When did you turn down the ringer on the phone...and more importantly..WHY?

Pissed off cause I missed a call wife.