Dear X:

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Dear x,

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am home again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am whole again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am young again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am fun again

However far away I will always love you
However long I stay I will always love you
Whatever words I say I will always love you
I will always love you

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am free again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am clean again
However far away I will always love you
However long I stay I will always love you
Whatever words I say I will always love you
I will always love you

However far away I will always love you
However long I stay I will always love you
Whatever words I say I will always love you

I'll always love you
I'll always love you
Cause I love you

LoveSong - Adele



That's a remake of The Cure's song from the 80's...
 
Dear X,
I thought that even though the circumstances were sad, seeing you after 27 years might lay some ghosts to rest. I thought that since I had laid most of the ugly aftermath aside long since, that it would be okay.

It wasn't. It wasn't okay at all. The ghosts are back full force and even though I know it would never have worked, you are not a nice person, I am once again grieving for the naive young woman that I was. I had convinced myself I never loved you. I forgot the line between love and hate is so thin. I thought I would be indifferent. I'm not. Especially since once again you lied. You told our son you wanted to establish a relationship with him. I warned you not to screw it up. He is fragile and god help you if the worst happens. You will feel the full wrath I have to bear.

~the no longer young and naive starter wife
 
Dear X,

We both know that I am not the best at pretty words and sometimes the message does get lost so I will keep it short and sweet.

Thank you for everything. You are an amazing person.

Aroha nui
 
Dear x,
YOU FUCKING LYING BRATTY BITCH! You have the nerve to call yourself a slave but you are a selfish cunt. I want to kick the shit out of you!


Which is just what you want and it pisses me off more! Go fuck yourself!

Go pay for it, you are work and I don't work for free!





Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
 
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Dear mum,

Hey, I've figured out why you feel like crap all the time. It was actually really easy. It's not magic, or curses, or your bad back or whatever. No, actually it's that you don't do anything ever. It's not healthy, so in turn you are not healthy.

It's not healthy to sleep for half the day. It's not healthy to spend days without going outside. It's not healthy to transition from sleeping to sitting on the couch watching TV, and then back again. And it definitely isn't healthy that your main source of liquid isn't water, but milkshakes. This is why you're constantly sick, why your back isn't getting any better, and it's probably a contributing factor to any number of other health problems you're suffering. And you must know this. Don't keep acting like it's such a mystery.

Honestly, you never used to be like this. If I were a meaner person, I'd suggest that you were perfectly capable of moving fast, right out of the room whenever dad came home drunk. I can't force you to do anything, but you've also got my little brother and sister to take care of, and you're not. You're putting me in a situation where I have to choose between my parent and my siblings again, and you know how well that worked out last time. Get your fucking act together.

Your son
 
Dear x,
YOU FUCKING LYING BRATTY BITCH! You have the nerve to call yourself a slave but you are a selfish cunt. I want to kick the shit out of you!


Which is just what you want and it pisses me off more! Go fuck yourself!

Go pay for it, you are work and I don't work for free!





Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I :heart: j00 :D
 
Dear P

And as I watch the drops of rain
Weave their weary paths and die
I know that I am like the rain
There but for the grace of you go I

:heart:

Your girl.
 
Dear Xs’
Thanks for the link. I almost missed it but the quoting and comment caught my eye.

It was a good read and I truly appreciate it!
 
Dear X.

How fitting, dear EX is the title of this thread? I wish I could express to you the pain you have caused me the last few days. With everything else going on in my world, receiving multiple messages from your fiance was too much. You need to keep a tighter rein on that one.

You're getting married in a few short months, that she has doubts about your honesty astounds me. That she questions your answers, at this late date? I worry, honestly. I told you that when you asked my opinion, long ago, when we were still 'allowed', by her to be friends.

That she demanded you give up all your female friends and aquaintances. That you had to find a new dental hygenist, a new barber, a new pediatrician for your children. But you did. What came next? She nixed the continuation of your darts league, your annual boys-only camping trip, your guy weekend spent whitewater rafting. I told you then, if you acquiesed to those demands, there would be more, much more. And I began to see that you weren't the man I knew you to be. Thought you to be. Wished you to be.

That she chose to come to me demanding answers? Intolerable. It's not my problem that she doubts the information you've shared with her. And it is not my concern, nor my place to share details of OUR relationship, nor your relationships prior to, or after we were over. The friendship that we were able to maintain after we split up meant a lot to me, and it was good, for us both. I was shocked when you told me that it must end. But, you agreed to her demand. I accepted that, wanting you to be happy. That's what we wished for each other, yes? For each of us to find what would make us happy.
(Are you happy?)

Sadly, the respect and regard that I had for you disappeared when I received her first e-mail. Whether you handed her my address, or she found it on her own matters not. I politely declined to answer her questions, to feed her thirst for details that in my mind were too personal, and not for me to share. Our relationship, what we shared together with each other, as well as what we shared about our past was ours. What you chose to share with her was your business. I would never betray your trust, and I believe you'd never betray mine. Whether intentionally, or out of spite, she came to me. I wished her well, and sent her on her way, her questions unanswered. Each message that followed became more insistent, more demanding, less polite, and not at all friendly. Nearly threatening really. A gentle plea, then a petulant whine, to nastily worded demands.

I can't concern myself with your relationship. I've not the time or the energy. I will trust that you found with her what you need. But please, old friend. Tell her to leave me the fuck alone. Or the next message I receive will be replied to in a much different tone.

I write this here, knowing I won't ever share it with you. Conflicted though... Should you be made aware of her doubts? I don't want to cause you pain, or play any part in your relationship with her. I am part of your past. And that is where I belong.

Wishing you only joy and happiness.


me

Thank you for this. I know I have trust issues, my trust has been terribly abused in the past. I am trying to work on it, and also trying to find a man who'll make me feel secure. Although I have never gone as far as the woman you describe, I don't EVER want to either, it's so very ugly. I may have to read this from time to time.
 
Thank you for this. I know I have trust issues, my trust has been terribly abused in the past. I am trying to work on it, and also trying to find a man who'll make me feel secure. Although I have never gone as far as the woman you describe, I don't EVER want to either, it's so very ugly. I may have to read this from time to time.

I do believe the trick is not to allow another person to be 100% responsible for your happiness. Nobody is 100% trustworthy, even if we like to think otherwise. But if we don't hang our entire lives and wellbeing on another person, when they are human our own world doesn't fall apart.

(Not suggesting that this is what you are like, Loverskitten - just the subject coming up prompted my observation on why people - women especially - can develop "issues" with trust - often because it feels like their life depends on the other person - which is neither true nor a healthy way to think. Better to trust someone while realising that we are ALL fallible and that if they betray our trust it won't ACTUALLY be the end of the world)
 
I do believe the trick is not to allow another person to be 100% responsible for your happiness. Nobody is 100% trustworthy, even if we like to think otherwise. But if we don't hang our entire lives and wellbeing on another person, when they are human our own world doesn't fall apart.

(Not suggesting that this is what you are like, Loverskitten - just the subject coming up prompted my observation on why people - women especially - can develop "issues" with trust - often because it feels like their life depends on the other person - which is neither true nor a healthy way to think. Better to trust someone while realising that we are ALL fallible and that if they betray our trust it won't ACTUALLY be the end of the world)

This is not me at all actually. Fiercely independent and funny (I think) with amazing friends. Just dated a complete pathological liar who was basically leading a double life (my last long term/and only live in relationship) and really hurt me (and my family which hurts more than my own feelings)
No more detail. It's a hard hurdle to overcome.
 
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Thank you for this. I know I have trust issues, my trust has been terribly abused in the past. I am trying to work on it, and also trying to find a man who'll make me feel secure. Although I have never gone as far as the woman you describe, I don't EVER want to either, it's so very ugly. I may have to read this from time to time.

I feel your pain, so to speak. An update? I did end up writing to him. She wouldn't let it drop. I haven't heard from either one since (I DID request that neither one contact me again, though) I can only hope that they're working things out. I loved him, love him still, in a fond remembering manner. I don't want him hurt later. And I feel awful if I caused him pain now.

Trust is the hardest thing, but I can tell you.... If you can, if you dare, if you can dare yourself to be that strong? I promise that the reward far outweighs the scary factor. It brings such closeness. To open yourself to trust allows for that feeling of security. Odd, isn't it? People here, who know me, who know of my past, could tell you that trust is something I never do. There was previously one person I trusted completely. That was my dad. Because he literally saved my life. I swore to never allow anyone else in. But, someone came along, to make me WANT to. I took the leap. And I don't regret one damn thing.

I know i'm not saying this with clarity. But....don't give up, okay? Trust YOURSELF. The rest will follow. :rose::kiss:
 
Dear daughter,

Sweetie, I am SO proud of you, and so impressed by the young adult you are growing up to be. I am watching you take control of your circumstances, doing the things your parents can't do for you--- your inner strength and your steadfast will, they shine forth.

Everything I wished I could help you do, all the battles I wanted to fight for you-- look at you! You're winning!

All of my love and more goes with you.
 
Dear daughter,

Sweetie, I am SO proud of you, and so impressed by the young adult you are growing up to be. I am watching you take control of your circumstances, doing the things your parents can't do for you--- your inner strength and your steadfast will, they shine forth.

Everything I wished I could help you do, all the battles I wanted to fight for you-- look at you! You're winning!

All of my love and more goes with you.

This was so lovely and heart warming to read. She will undoubtedly spread the strength and beauty she has learned from you throughout her life.

From one human to another... thank you. :rose:
 
Dear daughter,

Sweetie, I am SO proud of you, and so impressed by the young adult you are growing up to be. I am watching you take control of your circumstances, doing the things your parents can't do for you--- your inner strength and your steadfast will, they shine forth.

Everything I wished I could help you do, all the battles I wanted to fight for you-- look at you! You're winning!

All of my love and more goes with you.
You have a very lucky child.
 
Dear X -
If you are reading this, please know it made a difference for me.
I hope it did something for you, too.
rk
 
Dear X,
We used to be best friends of 13 years, then you screwed me over to date my ex. I tried to be the adult, and be happy for you. I cant even really be mad at him, after all he is just a man (no offense to the ones on here), but you were supposed to be my best friend and you knew how i still felt about him. The whole time him and i were dating you couldnt stand him and kept telling me how i could do so much better. I tried to put the past behind me and be happy when you 2 got married, and when you 2 welcomed your first daughter.
The other day you felt the need to call me and tell me you were 7 weeks pregnant. Did you honestly think I cared? We barely talk anymore, and when for some reason we do have to be in the same room i try to talk to everyone BUT you. I see that you're happy with your life and thats fine, I just want no part in it.
It feels like you take every opportunity to rub it in my face how happy you are, and how great your life is. However I honestly dont give a shit. I removed you from everything, fb, my phone, everything. (Which wasnt that hard since the only time we ever spoke was when HE would msg me and ask me to watch your kid.) And i honestly cant wait for you to notice so that i can finally tell you all of this and how i feel.
They say haters hate for 2 reasons, 1) they are jealous of what you have, and 2) they see something in you that is lacking in themselves. While i dont hate you, the fact that you constantly feel the need to rub your "perfect" life in my face makes me question myself and my life, and thats a right that no one should have but myself.
So as far as im concerned you and him, can kiss my ass, delete me from your life, and take all your drama drama with you. I have enough of my own, i dont need your help adding it to my life.
KT
 
Dear X,

So you are off your meds again? REALLY?!? How many times do you have to do this to learn that you turn into a broke down, mean mess that negatively affects those around you to LEARN?!?

And:

You can hate me. Believe that I was a terrible parent. That's fine. Really. Just do not expect me to sit there and listen to you go on about it because I was actually there. I know what happened between us. I know it didn't go down that way though I'm far from perfect and yes, parents sometimes make serious errors.

So go ahead, please, tell your friends. They might actually believe your revisionist, whining version of events. Tell anyone else. Tell everyone else. Have a blast with the anti mom stuff. I give you my permission if you need it.

The thing is, you just can't expect to be able to put a verbal beat down on me and have me just take it. Not going to happen. Particularly since you like to go on for HOURS. I will simply apologize sincerely for anything I did do wrong and maybe some things I might have done wrong and walk away. Because apologies do not seem to be heard. Nor does reason get heard. I'm not your punching bag. Sorry.

FF

:rose:
 
Dear S,

I've been thinking of you and wanting to write you all along but could not muster the courage to ask the question that needs to be asked. It is however time.

How do we stand?

On my end, I wish we could go back to how things were before all the struggles. I'm old enough however to know there is no going back.

I feel as you believe that the only reason I want to see you is because I want/need a beating but I'm not able to be honest enough to ask for it so I put up a struggling scene instead. Nothing is further from the truth.

I like you as a person and not as a role you play in my life, and as such what drives my desire to see you is not the sex nor the SM. I am indeed submissive by nature, but my submission to you is because I like you, and I love you more than my hate for the pain you will inflict on me. And knowing that you enjoy it I want to give that pleasure to you, or anything else for that matter, to you. That means that if all you want to do is to have a chat, or a massage, or for me to sit quietly at your feet while you work/write emails or have a drink, or me to buy you grocery, those are all things I would love to do for you.

You see, it does not matter what it is that you want, being able to give that to you, no matter what "that" is, is all it matters to me.

When things started to change at first I messed up, and as such I stayed away, not knowing if you still wanted to see me. Than you summoned me and told me about what was going on. I wished I could be there for you, help you, be a friend to lean on, but I stayed away quietly because I did not want to impose during such a delicate time. I never however stopped thinking of you.

Now things seems to be better for you. And I'm truly happy.

So I feel it is time to clear up the misunderstandings between us.
I've tried to talk with you, but as you saw, I just become too confused to be able to express myself clearly, with the consequence of sending mixed signals and creating even more misunderstanding. At the same time the noise raging in my mind from the conflict between what I wanted to say (that I needed you to help me feel more part of your life) and what I wanted to do (simply give you anything you wanted) made it such that I could not even appreciate the fact that for once you were holding me.

You said at the end that you don't understand me. I've always been honest and yet it appears that somewhere the communication lines broke down. The truth is though, that I don't understand anymore either. I've been left guessing for so long without a word, and instead of asking the question, I just let my imagination and assumptions run wild. And for that I'm sorry.

However I don't know anymore if I am what you want/need. Honestly, I don't even know if I can be what you want/need.
All I know is that I miss you, and there is no day that goes without you coming to my mind. And when I'm made to submit and suffer, all I can think of is that it is not you.

So, where do we stand?

And if you have indeed no need for me any longer, and, as I fear, we cannot be friend, please know that I'll never forget you and you'll always have a special place in my heart.

With love,

part-timely yours
 
Dear X

Yes, I know that you love me very much. But you say "no" even before I finish asking a question, half the time, and the rest of the time you wait for me to finish the question before you say "no."

A lot of the time, you don't even know what the question will be before you turn it down.

This is why I left.

I am not going to live with someone who can't meet me halfway, or even take one step forward to my two steps.
 
Dear X,

Sometimes you just have sit to sit back and enjoy the small things in life to allow you to recharge your batteries and deal with the larger things. I thoroughly recommend a bottle of Kiwi Sav Blanc to help with that :)

Just remember, if you feel like things have turned to custard and there is no way out that I will always listen and offer vaguely intelligent although not always helpful advice.

Oh and I mean what I said about what I want for my birthday, now more than ever :p

me :)
 
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