Dear X:

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Dear R

To hear from you and know that you are wanting the same damn thing as I am right now...Damn work..lol

Yours
 
Dear X,

We can't go on like this any longer. You're in the goddamn hospital having emergency surgery, and I'm sitting here an hour away feeling useless, helpless, and sick because I can't do anything.

This has to change. When you get out, it's got to change.

~Bunny
 
dear x,

I don't like how you flit in and out of my life like a passing wind. I don't like that I know when you decide to pop back in I'll welcome you with the same warm, bashful, empish grin I always do. And I don't like that I'd rather have this than you be gone for good.

But most of all what I don't like is that this applies to more than one person in my life.

pathetically
wenchie
 
Dear X,


How dare you?

I warn you, do not continue to see the peacekeeping pleasantries I express as either a weakness or a gesture of acceptance and unconditional friendship. Yes, we have a history and that can never be changed, but my heart string tied to that story was severed long ago. You know this is true, and it is time to accept it and let go of the idea that there can be a retelling or even a sequel. Before you now is only the negotiation of our future acquaintance and you are carelessly treading in thinning ice.

As a final attempt to remain civil and peaceful (which is of course my preference), I will draw the line in the sand one last time. You have carelessly spent my patience and compassion for your heartaches and I am now watching you very closely and will hold you accountable.

~Me
 
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J:

The kite may soar but it will still be buffeted by the wind and rain sometimes. Still, the courage to move forward exists, in part, because of you.

Me
 
Dear X's,

You know, the funny thing about vitriol is that no matter how righteous you may feel while you're spewing it, the fact is that it poisons you. The high road is difficult, sometimes seemingly impossible to choose, but it's there you find real heroes.

Holding your tongue, especially in a public forum, especially when you are quasi-anonymous and therefore face no real consequences for your words, is the act of a person secure in themselves and at peace with the notion that the universe is not always fair. Nor should it be. After all, adversity is often where we meet our best selves.

Bellowing into the void to defend the "honour" of another? Is that how to effect positive change? Is that how best to lend support?

You can offer support without accusation and comfort without hostility. And love rarely flows from hate.

K
 
Dear X's,

You know, the funny thing about vitriol is that no matter how righteous you may feel while you're spewing it, the fact is that it poisons you. The high road is difficult, sometimes seemingly impossible to choose, but it's there you find real heroes.

Holding your tongue, especially in a public forum, especially when you are quasi-anonymous and therefore face no real consequences for your words, is the act of a person secure in themselves and at peace with the notion that the universe is not always fair. Nor should it be. After all, adversity is often where we meet our best selves.

Bellowing into the void to defend the "honour" of another? Is that how to effect positive change? Is that how best to lend support?

You can offer support without accusation and comfort without hostility. And love rarely flows from hate.

K
Dear K,
Stop making so much damn sense, or I won't like me no more. ;)
 
How you doin' Tek? Haven't seen you around. Hope life's being good to you! :D

And never stop liking yourself.

Never.
Thanks for the vote of encouragement. I'll now like me regardless of how much of a ass I happen to be making of myself. :p

Life's decided that I need some tedium. Who am I to argue?
 
4 and a half years together, I poured my whole existence into everything, into you. I built you back up after you drowned yourself. I helped you love yourself again, I helped you created a new beginning. I held your hand and guided you through so much, stood by your side when everyone else decided not to.

I guess I was just to pass the time, to help you become you again, and then you are off into the world again on your own. All those fucking times you put me down, made me feel low, made me hate myself, the next minute I forgave you and acted like nothing had happened.

Then I got a fucking horrid call from some cunt telling me that you have been secretly fucking her. I forgave you for that too because I believed in second chances, maybe 4 chances.

I lose my sister, I lose my job, I lose my sanity and I forgot what happiness had felt like. I forgot what it was like to be alive. The only thing keeping me from deaths door was the words I love you.

Then life starts to pick itself back up, I get my job back, I start feeling alive again. I have now two great things. The first week back into my job you call me on my lunch break, me expecting to heart "Hey sweets, miss you and love you", but no, I get a devastating call of "I don't like you, I hate you, I cannot be with you anymore, don't ever call me again, goodbye"

Now I'm back to feeling dead of life, emotion, I feel as if I'm a zombie. Only one part of my brain that allows me to walk the world, but without the ability to feel and love again.

Fuck you and everything you put me through . . .
 
Dear D,

Whether you are reading my posts or not doesn't matter. This is something that I need to do, for me. I don't wish you to believe I want to hurt you or help you. I need to do this, to regain the strength I'd lost. Because right now, I need to be stronger than I ever have been. I've a long arduous fight ahead of me, and I can't be weak.

I understand that your views on what happened between us and mine are polar opposites. But you need to understand something. I gave you everything. Everything. Remember? All or Nothing. You or no one. I chose All, and I chose you. You chose all, and you chose me. So that we could have what neither of us have ever had. We WERE so fucking good together, desiring things that neither of us believed we could have. I cared about you. For all you were to me. The man I knew you to be, my lover and my M.

I kept no secrets, told no lies. I never lied, never kept anything from you. It's not me, never has been, never will be. I realize now that you can't say the same. Call them what you will. But you told whoppers, little white lies, and BIG huge honking lies of ommission. THOSE are what caused this pain I feel, this overwhelming sense of betrayal. You knew all of me, you had to, I know. But for what I was to you, I deserved more than you gave. You wished to settle for no less than everything. What I deserved was your care, your protection, you keeping your word, your promises.

I deserved your honesty. Honesty can and does hurt, but the pain cause by honesty is a true hurt.

Your reality, your recollection of me, of us, is false. I understand too that you need to believe your version. But we both know that it's not the truth.

I realize now that you wished to release prior to the time you did, in the way you did. And your words, your demands, your actions were merely your attempt to make me leave you. Sadly, that didn't work, did it? I accepted your instructions. If you'd manned up, and told me the truth, I would have been a wreck, but at least I'd know that you respected me, who and what I was for you.

Your choices were selfish. To protect yourself, forgetting the pain they would cause me. The one you swore to protect and care for. Or, not forgetting and striking out at me anyway. For I dared choose to take an action that you didn't give me permission to take. Sadly funny. You admired my strength, my stubborness. You knew that those things would make my surrender even more meaningful, for both of us. And it did. You said it took a woman of great strengh to become a slave. You were right about that, at least. And you should know that it took great strength, and courage to act as I did. Whether you knew it at the time? You put me in a no-win situation. Either choice would have resulted in the same thing. The end. Your freedom. My failure. You acted out of desperation, to be rid of me, and didn't care about the pain you'd cause. Not just to me, but to my friends and family too.

I've read some of what e has said to you, about you. That was not/is not my doing. I was not aware that she felt this strongly, about either of us. Perhaps my being here, speaking for myself, her seeing me trying to heal will allow her some peace. I can't fault her for her anger for you lied to her as well. She's young and reminds me of a hurricane. She doesn't know how to manage her emotions, to channel them, to express them in a positive way.

D? I don't know what else to say. If you're reading this? Honesty always. I WAS yours. I stood by you, at your side, through everything. In adoration, in love, in frienship. That you could treat me as you did? Tossing me aside like that? As if I meant nothing to you, like nothing more than a piece of trash? You hurt me, more deeply than you can ever imagine. I just hope that it was worth it. For you. And her.

I guess I need to also say - Excercise caution next time. Choose your words carefully. Be truthful, and honest and only make promises you can keep. Look at the big picture, think about those you wish to control. Think about someone other than yourself. Don't be a coward. Don't knowingly (willingly?) choose to strike out at the people who do their best to serve you. Use them wisely, and with care. And, if you don't think that's possible? It would be best to leave them the fuck alone. For your appetite, need and desire to control, to own, is greater than your ability to actually do so.
 
Dear X

I really, sincerely hope you fucked your brains out tonight, and had a series of earth shattering orgasms and that you return to your old ways when you get back home.

Yours truly

Me
 
bsv,

I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that you needed to write this, needed to come back here, that things didn't work out the way you wanted, that i let you down. i'm sorry for that most of all, for my part, for making things more difficult for you when all i wanted to do was to hlep. i was scared for you from the beginning, seeing how he made you feel, knowing what he wanted from you. i saw you doubt yourself your strength, your courage and i was angry. and i hate what he did when he left.

this isn't the place for me, i know that and you do too, but i care about you and i will stick around, stick it out, to be there for you even though i care about you in ways you don't want me to. i can't help that, but i won't ever push you and i promise to keep out of things that are yours to deal with, but i'll always care and i'll keep writing about other things, things that aren't his and never were. :rose::rose::rose:
 
Dear X,

Although you've put me through so much, I've learned to say thank you.

Pain is the only reminder that my heart is still beating.
 
Dear X,

Thank you for your words of encouragement which helped me understand that making excuses about why I couldn't do something was a waste of time and that I needed to trust in my skills and abilities and know that even if I fail well its not the end of the world.

You are the bestest :heart:
 
Dear X,

Thank you for your words of encouragement which helped me understand that making excuses about why I couldn't do something was a waste of time and that I needed to trust in my skills and abilities and know that even if I fail well its not the end of the world.

You are the bestest :heart:


"If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves." ~ Thomas Edison :rose:
 
Dear X,

Next time you call me to see if I'd be up for a cheap fuck, is when I say yes to only rip your genitalia off you fucking low life pathetic unoriginal shit.
 
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