Dear X:

[kushielstoy]

Just midnight ramblings...

Hi M,
It is about 2:00am and I can't sleep. Thinking about the past 24 hours and how fast everything is going. Thank you for answering my questions today and this evening. Last evening when we were chatting on line you asked me why I was doing this. I would like to answer if I may.

I am 1 year 3 months out of a relationship that I thought would be my "forever". We had been together for 7 years and had bought a house in the spring of 03. I was 10 years older than him and very focused on my daughter and my business. In retrospect he was a undiagnosed sub and not congruent with the goals and dreams that I had. I think that what he afforded me at the time was the vanilla dream of acceptability.

He was nice in his way never physically abusive but controlling in a passive aggressive way. I can now understand why I could never trust/surrender to him, although I can see the ways that I tried. The year of 06 was not good between us and I just kept putting my energies into my business. He kept saying that he needed space and time to think. I truly thought that I was being the good girlfriend at the time just backing off and not pressuring him for sex, attention, affection. We became 2 people sharing a house but nothing else. On Jan 1 07 he called me at the office on the phone and broke up with me. For the 1st 10 days of 07 I responded like most women. I love you we can work this out.....
on the 11Th I found out that he had emptied out the joint checking and the joint savings accounts. I moved out 10 days later and signed the title over to him on Feb 2 07. I walked away with no money, no savings, nothing but me and my dog.

I haven't spoken with him since then and to this day I still am not sure why he wanted out of the relationship. All I know is THANK GOD HE DID!!! I was dying. Not literally but I was not living and I was so unhappy living a lie that I did not know I was in.

As I started to date again this past fall I realized that something was missing in the men that I met. I kept thinking about what my needs and desires were. I kept looking back at my previous relationships to figure out my responsibilities in their failures.

The places where I was not a good partner.

I came to the conclusion that being a single parent and self employed had not allowed me to be in the receiver role. That I had never learned to trust or open to another. To be in my truth, 100% accountable and conscious, in sexual situations.

I had never allowed my self to explore the depths of my passions. I had never
been able to truly open in a intimate level with another. Because I chose men who were passive in nature I could never truly submit to them.

And this is what I yearn to do.

This is my true nature. To Submit.

The balls to the wall business owner is a lie. A learned projection based in the need for survival.

I have never met a man who can facilitate me. Who is strong enough for me to trust, who will take the responsibilities and make the commitment to the out come. Good or bad.

I ask for your patience with me as we move on this journey. I don't know what my safe words are. I don't know what my boundaries are. I don't know what my abilities are. Yet.

I do know that with the right person I will become magnificent in my capitulation to their desire.

My surrender is not something that I give lightly or without hesitation. I know the worth of my gift.

Thank you for taking the time to listen to me..
J

 

[SubKekiLee]

Dear KT
Thats a brave thing to do!!! Bravo!

You will find him.. and you will be a much stronger person...

 

[kushielstoy]

When do you stop thinking?

Dear M

How do I fuck you and Not submit?
How do I submit knowing that you are not "the one" for me. That you are taken by another.

For me the choice of submission is the gift that matters the most.

Anyone can force someone to do something with enough force, fear, pain..

My Choice.
To listen to my partners request and make the conscious choice to acquiesce to his needs and desires, to find the quiet within where I trust this person with all that I am, because of all that they are...

To stand or kneel in my truth, open and vulnerable, trusting his commands...

And after the fact I go home to my empty bed, you to curl up with your wife and babes...
Is this part of the pain of submission?

Does my need to be dominated sexually override my common sense and moral convictions?

And in the end once I have give you the one thing that I have never given to another, I am alone. Is this the pain of submission?

When I started to talk with you Sunday I stated that I was not looking for a happily every after but, I am sad that I don't get an even playing field for the chance.

And if I just fuck you will you respect me/us? does that matter?


These are heavy questions but this is an intense situation

 

[shy slave]

Dear X

Today is your birthday.

It would have be wonderful if things had turned out differently.

Life is full of the unexpected and I miss sharing your life with you.

I miss you so very much.

I hate the sadness that seems to well up with nowhere to go.

I Love You

xxx

 

[kushielstoy]

Dear KT
Thats a brave thing to do!!! Bravo!

You will find him.. and you will be a much stronger person...

SKL,

Thanks for your kind words.

 

[LittleJade]

Y'know... it doesn't really matter what I say here. It's gonna be misconstrued anyway- everything always seems to be. I can't say the right things around you... always wrong words. Always ... wrong.

 

[twysted73]

Dear.....organ

Excuse me but just What the fuck do you think you're doing?
Haven't you put me through enough trouble??
First wife number one. Ah but she chose another while you were off to war so for that you have a get out of jail free card.
Good thing too because you then used it for wife number 2 when you lost her through your own inability to choose between something, although familiar and realiable, (wasn't what made you happy) and something else. (which did make you happy and had real potential) And in your confusion between the two you lost me the one from your past as well as the one whom you now miss.
And hell, you're still hung up on her aren't you?
You little shit. Beating up a military cadance when she calls to tug on that line she has to you.
Always wanting what you cannot have, eh? You're a fucking cliche`.

I hate you. Despise. LOATHE you.
But you're the only one I have and it would appear as if I'm stuck with you.
Pathetic.
All locked up in your titanuim box...locked and shoved up on a shelf.
And where the hell is the key for it???
Hmm?

....*starts to look around in junk drawers for it*.....

I don't why I'm even bothering.
I know right where it is. I just don't want to admit it.

*spits in the box's direction*

...............fucker

 

[Plucky19]

Dear X,

You are missed... as ever. You are part of me, and it hurts.

Punk

 

[TeachMeSir]

Wanna Be Masters

......

 

[SubKekiLee]

To All The Wanna Be Masters,

I know that I have bene hurt recently. And I know that I am emotionally fragile & need some TLC. I know that you think you are a Master. You think that I can be your sex pet to use.

Understand this. I am hurt, but not stupid. I am submissive, and I can behave sluttish, but I am not a slut. I am happy to be a Maters whore, but you are not a Master. You just want someone to fuck, without the responsibility of owning them, of getting to know them, or controlling their every thought. Being a Master is hard work, not just sex on the side. If that is all you want go back to the Playground!

I am submissive and proud of it. I was proud to submit to my ex-Master. But you Wanna Be Masters don't deserve me. Submitting to you would be degrading, and not in a good way. If you think you are a master because you can take advatage of someone when she is down then you are sorely mistaken.

To all the Masters out there who have offered an apple of friendship, and you know who you are... I thank you. I know that You are truely a Master.

For my ex-Master. Why?

I am submissive, not weak, hear me roar!

Standing on my FEET BRAVO BRAVO BRAVO !!! go get em girl!!!

 

[Guest]

In response to some anon feedback on stories I write with my Daddy.

********
This message contains feedback for:
This feedback was sent by:
Comments:
is the female allowed to talk/play......if so come find .......ME....for.....??!!??!!
********
"the female" has a name. It's XXXXXXX. I am unimpressed with your complete miscomprehension of our work, and the ignorance you display in your inarticulate question.

Note: Random strings of punctuation leave nothing to the imagination, particularly the level of your creative intelligence.

A simple "no" might of sufficed, but I found your objectifiction offensive, your question ludicrous. If you had the wisdom to comprehend our work, you would also have the sensitivity to understand how really, really odious your message was.

I'm not even going to start on how in just one sentence you've reduced yourself from a real man to an object of pity, slack-jawed and drooling, from both your mouth and the pathetic tiny half-wood you can only achieve by witlessly abusing another person.

In case you didn't get all that (a thesaurus might help), let me make this simple for you.
Fuck off, pencil-dick.

 

[Cheshire D]

Dear X, Y, and Z:

I give up. Y'all fucking win.

Dear self:

You are not unfamiliar with lonliness. Give it a month, you won't give a shit. Maybe you'll be able to salvage your school career.

 

[cherokee_dove]

Dear X:

Since You do not seem to want to come and talk this over like mature adults, i will say it here.

i saw You yesterday as sis and i were passing, and out of nowhere i flipped You off. Please accept my apologies, as right at that minute; i knew deep down within me, i had sunk to far; even for me.

i knew, right then; this whole situation had to be dealt with quickly or it would have gotten very ugly; in all senses of the word.

i asked but one thing, for You to come out so that this chapter of my life could be calmly discussed from both sides; and dealt with, so that i could close this chapter and go on.

But have You? No.

You always claimed that above all, You were a Gentleman. A Gentleman would have had the decency to have at least allowed me the closure of this chapter. Or at least called, but You didnt even do that.

A Gentleman to my eyes, You are NO MORE.

~sighing deeply, softly closes this chapter so that i may proceed forward~

 

[closerIam]

Dear X...

Sometimes I just don't get it. I don't know how to 'play this game' we're playing...and I react like an emotional girl. And then I worry, and wait..and wait..and worry. And then I think of what I *should* have done, what I *should* have said...and I say more, and that makes things even worse. This morning I find myself feeling sad, missing you...wanting to crawl up and say..sorry.

me

 

[Stegral]

Dear X

Please see by my financial statements, assets & liabilities as presented to you are honest. I lied about nothing. I just want to be pre-approved for SOMETHIG small, nothing huge, my desire to be a first time home owner before I am 40 is looking grim. I only want a small house, maybe 2 bedrooms, even just one if it has a basement, a bit of a backyard, I don't care if it is in the "rough part of town" if that is what I can afford then that is what I want.. I live in a partial getto (no offense to any meant) right now so the only difference would be NOT walking thru clouds of dope to get to my apt, or having to listen to the fights from the other side of a wall, of have stereo wars because the bitch downstairs can't NOT crank hers first. I know it is "abnormal" to give a morgatage to a single female but I make 1/2 decent wages, I am always employed & I work harder than alot of males I know. I am sick of paying rent when it is what I think a morgatage could be..

please Mr Banker... I will work more hours to be sure I can do this..

Please approve me.

Thanks, Me...

 

[sexycaz22]

Dear X,

Thank you for being my 'guinea pig' tonight, you were a brilliant sub!

Can't wait to play with you some more........

 

[bholderman]

IM TRYING! REALLY I AM!

hehehehe

Dear X,

Be a man, for once in your life, instead of a self propelled penis.

Let go, for pity's sake and MOVE THE FUCK ON WITH YOUR WIFE.

*shakes his head*

Fucktard.

 

[minx1]

Dear X

Please miss me as much.

yours xx

 

[Ladythunder]

Dear X

Please see by my financial statements, assets & liabilities as presented to you are honest. I lied about nothing. I just want to be pre-approved for SOMETHIG small, nothing huge, my desire to be a first time home owner before I am 40 is looking grim. I only want a small house, maybe 2 bedrooms, even just one if it has a basement, a bit of a backyard, I don't care if it is in the "rough part of town" if that is what I can afford then that is what I want.. I live in a partial getto (no offense to any meant) right now so the only difference would be NOT walking thru clouds of dope to get to my apt, or having to listen to the fights from the other side of a wall, of have stereo wars because the bitch downstairs can't NOT crank hers first. I know it is "abnormal" to give a morgatage to a single female but I make 1/2 decent wages, I am always employed & I work harder than alot of males I know. I am sick of paying rent when it is what I think a morgatage could be..

please Mr Banker... I will work more hours to be sure I can do this..

Please approve me.

Thanks, Me...

Psst...I just bought 3 houses in northern AB for under 100k (total price) maybe a change of neighbourhood is in order?

That said, I know how job markets, kids etc, etc can seriously affect places you want to live, but it might be a possibility to consider? The maritimes I have heard over and over from the Newfies that work up here is a harsh market, both for employment and housing market (there again, they might be blowing smoke from their butt holes too so...)

 

[satindesire]

Dear X,

When we got together at first, it was so good. Then it descended into shit. After putting up with you for nearly 4 years, I finally had the balls to break it off with you.

Why did you do that to me? I was good to you. You were so handsome and smart and you had such an awesome career you could have done anything you wanted, had any girl you wanted. The sex was sooo good, too. If you'd never started hitting me I could have married your stupid ass.

You ruined the best thing that happened to both of us. Now I'm tied to a man who doesn't really deserve my love. But in the end, I guess you didn't really deserve it either.

Although I remember everything you ever did to me as clear as the day it happened, I still miss you for some godawful reason. I have no idea why.

Confused,

Me

 

[trisquel_astur]

Lots of men don't deserves a girl as you are. They lost more than they realizes.

 

[TeachMeSir]

I think I have a bit if a crush on you ..... I'm going to call & freind & tell her all about it ... and we'll giggle like we're in high school again .... then I'll forget all bout it & my self-destructive behaviour.

 

[DVS]

Dear Ms X.

Didn't you get my reply? I need to know if you understand what I'm looking for in a woman, sexually. I feel this is a large part of my search, and if I don't make sure you know this about me up front, I'm being less than honest.

I don't want to seem like I'm some nice clean cut guy on the outside, like my photo seems, and then once you get to know the real me you find that I'm not that guy, on the inside.

In fact, the photo is more correct than you might think. That smile is for real. And I'm that same guy on the inside, too. You just need to get to know me. I'm a sensual man with desires, the same as any other man. My desires are well defined, which means I know what I want. I'm not new to this, which means I'm experienced, and I'm not young which I hope means that I'm knowledgeable about life, love and lust.

My sexual life is full, but only in my mind. I need it to be full in body, too. My heart needs love too, but I feel lust and love are very close and you can't have one without the other.

My lust is well defined, it's my love that needs attention. That takes a special kind of woman to satisfy one and nurture the other. She must be intelligent, kind, sexy and sensual. She must also be strong...strong enough and willing to give herself to me, and expect to receive my sexual lust as well as my love, in return.

That takes a lot of strength, and it takes a lot of trust. I understand what I'm asking you to do. I know it isn't an easy thing to do...trust a man, in this day and age. But, I know you will be both fulfilled and satisfied, and not left wanting for anything in her heart. You just need to take that chance and explore you inner sexual self and allow that woman to live the life she desires.

So, again I ask you if you understand what I'm looking for in a sexual relationship. Again, I'm trying to communicate my desires, my lust for sex, love and life. Think about it and let me know, if you have decided to take that chance. I know you won't be sorry, but I also understand that you must take that step within yourself, and that's not easy.

Are you willing to explore your sensual side? Does that woman inside you desire her lust...desire her satisfaction?

DVS

 

[Stegral]

Found out today my credit score is 30 point off being able to do it without a down payment. so I have 2 chioces. 1) put it off until my credit score is better (& the banker told me exactly how to do it ) OR 2) get 5% of what I want to buy... I think I am going to bite the bullet, stay where I am for 6-8 months, save every penny I can after paying off my 2 debts so I can be in my own house for x-mas THIS year.

Psst...I just bought 3 houses in northern AB for under 100k (total price) maybe a change of neighbourhood is in order?

That said, I know how job markets, kids etc, etc can seriously affect places you want to live, but it might be a possibility to consider? The maritimes I have heard over and over from the Newfies that work up here is a harsh market, both for employment and housing market (there again, they might be blowing smoke from their butt holes too so...)

I won't go to alberta, my pets would never survive that kind of trip & I love the ocean too much now. I have had friends go out & beg me to come too & I won't. I know I could walk into any number of jobs there for probably twice as much as I get here but I just can't change provinces again. The newf's are 1/2 right... it is rough in NFLND, CB & other more rural areas but I am right in the heart of NS so work is good for me.

Thanks for the insight but I like it here now.

 

[cherokee_dove]

Dear Ms X.

Didn't you get my reply? I need to know if you understand what I'm looking for in a woman, sexually. I feel this is a large part of my search, and if I don't make sure you know this about me up front, I'm being less than honest.

I don't want to seem like I'm some nice clean cut guy on the outside, like my photo seems, and then once you get to know the real me you find that I'm not that guy, on the inside.

In fact, the photo is more correct than you might think. That smile is for real. And I'm that same guy on the inside, too. You just need to get to know me. I'm a sensual man with desires, the same as any other man. My desires are well defined, which means I know what I want. I'm not new to this, which means I'm experienced, and I'm not young which I hope means that I'm knowledgeable about life, love and lust.

My sexual life is full, but only in my mind. I need it to be full in body, too. My heart needs love too, but I feel lust and love are very close and you can't have one without the other.

My lust is well defined, it's my love that needs attention. That takes a special kind of woman to satisfy one and nurture the other. She must be intelligent, kind, sexy and sensual. She must also be strong...strong enough and willing to give herself to me, and expect to receive my sexual lust as well as my love, in return.

That takes a lot of strength, and it takes a lot of trust. I understand what I'm asking you to do. I know it isn't an easy thing to do...trust a man, in this day and age. But, I know you will be both fulfilled and satisfied, and not left wanting for anything in her heart. You just need to take that chance and explore you inner sexual self and allow that woman to live the life she desires.

So, again I ask you if you understand what I'm looking for in a sexual relationship. Again, I'm trying to communicate my desires, my lust for sex, love and life. Think about it and let me know, if you have decided to take that chance. I know you won't be sorry, but I also understand that you must take that step within yourself, and that's not easy.

Are you willing to explore your sensual side? Does that woman inside you desire her lust...desire her satisfaction?

DVS

Dear DVS,

i hope whoever the one Your talking to got the response, because You are a very sincere, caring, and loving man.

One of a handful on here i would call a Gentleman, in the full extent of the word.

i hope You get the answer You are waiting on from her.