Dear X:
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NemoAlia
Voracious
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2001
- Posts
- 1,434
Dear Boyfriend,
I am sorry you're scared. And I'm sorry that the other night got out of hand. I was crazy with grief. I shouldn't have yelled.
I don't care if you are the same man I fell in love with. I love you. I love you in every iteration. Every new gray hair. Every step toward adulthood. Every new level of involvement in your work. Every step toward intimacy with me.
What's hard for me is that being boyfriend/girlfriend isn't enough commitment for us to cling to each other while we work on our problems. That is how marriage works. But dating... when we have problems, we separate and re-evaluate. That's how boyfriends and girlfriends function. I guess that's okay, although it isn't easy.
I want you to know that I haven't run into the arms of someone else. Nor do I plan to, as long as my friends continue giving me the platonic physical attention that I so desperately need right now.
But boyfriend, what I really need is you. I understand your reservations about allowing our relationship to deviate from ideals of equal partnership. But boyfriend, don't you think that our primary goals need to be functionality and happiness? Respect and fulfillment? Care and honor? We should abandon expectations about "the perfect relationship" and find out what works best for us.
It isn't sacrifice for me to want your loving dominance. It's me reveling in what feels natural between us. When we work well together it isn't because we're giving up ourselves for each other's sake. It's because we're letting ourselves respond to each other from our deepest, most basic, natural selves.
Do you remember how you described coming into your own, sexually? You said you finally accepted the fact that girls really do want you to be rough, and you really do want to take them that way. Have you considered that dominance might also be in you already, and you're denying it because you don't believe it's something that I really want -- or something that it's morally acceptable for you to be?
No, we're not like each other. But I believe we complement each other almost perfectly. Yin and yang. If you draw a straight line across the middle of a yin-yang symbol, and then you expect both halves to be equally grey, you'll be sorely disappointed. But leave out the line-drawing and look at the way the pieces fit together already. There is balance, even if there isn't uniformity.
I love you. Without you, I'm a weird black tadpole shape with one eye. I need you with me to be whole.
Yours,
NemoAlia
I am sorry you're scared. And I'm sorry that the other night got out of hand. I was crazy with grief. I shouldn't have yelled.
I don't care if you are the same man I fell in love with. I love you. I love you in every iteration. Every new gray hair. Every step toward adulthood. Every new level of involvement in your work. Every step toward intimacy with me.
What's hard for me is that being boyfriend/girlfriend isn't enough commitment for us to cling to each other while we work on our problems. That is how marriage works. But dating... when we have problems, we separate and re-evaluate. That's how boyfriends and girlfriends function. I guess that's okay, although it isn't easy.
I want you to know that I haven't run into the arms of someone else. Nor do I plan to, as long as my friends continue giving me the platonic physical attention that I so desperately need right now.
But boyfriend, what I really need is you. I understand your reservations about allowing our relationship to deviate from ideals of equal partnership. But boyfriend, don't you think that our primary goals need to be functionality and happiness? Respect and fulfillment? Care and honor? We should abandon expectations about "the perfect relationship" and find out what works best for us.
It isn't sacrifice for me to want your loving dominance. It's me reveling in what feels natural between us. When we work well together it isn't because we're giving up ourselves for each other's sake. It's because we're letting ourselves respond to each other from our deepest, most basic, natural selves.
Do you remember how you described coming into your own, sexually? You said you finally accepted the fact that girls really do want you to be rough, and you really do want to take them that way. Have you considered that dominance might also be in you already, and you're denying it because you don't believe it's something that I really want -- or something that it's morally acceptable for you to be?
No, we're not like each other. But I believe we complement each other almost perfectly. Yin and yang. If you draw a straight line across the middle of a yin-yang symbol, and then you expect both halves to be equally grey, you'll be sorely disappointed. But leave out the line-drawing and look at the way the pieces fit together already. There is balance, even if there isn't uniformity.
I love you. Without you, I'm a weird black tadpole shape with one eye. I need you with me to be whole.
Yours,
NemoAlia
Rox_shybutcurious
First steps in a journey
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2006
- Posts
- 10,029
Dear Self,
Why do you let other people’s opinions and judgments bother you or affect your behavior? Especially when they don’t know you from Adam and probably aren’t talking about you anyway. Do yourself a favor, ignore them, their approval shouldn’t matter.
R.
Why do you let other people’s opinions and judgments bother you or affect your behavior? Especially when they don’t know you from Adam and probably aren’t talking about you anyway. Do yourself a favor, ignore them, their approval shouldn’t matter.
R.
the captians wench
sewing wench
- Joined
- Jun 16, 2005
- Posts
- 12,258
Homburg said:
dearest homburg,
If you come flip burgers for me I'll give you an after hours bonus.
*giggles*
wenchie
Homburg
Daring greatly
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2007
- Posts
- 13,578
the captians wench said:dearest homburg,
If you come flip burgers for me I'll give you an after hours bonus.
*giggles*
wenchie
I have a Klingon Death Spatula. Would bringing my own tools net me a better hourly rate?
http://www.pamperedchef.com/graphics/products_200/2692_200.jpg
the captians wench
sewing wench
- Joined
- Jun 16, 2005
- Posts
- 12,258
Homburg said:
sure, as long as they are part of the bonus plan, and don't see mcd's light. We can only use specific tools there....but man I am soooo tempted to buy one of those spatulas, they are awesome paddles......I mean they cook good, yeah, cook real good. *giggles*
Chained_Enigma
Virgin
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2007
- Posts
- 28
Dear A,
I HATE what you did to me, 4 years have past, I'm in love with a wonderful person but I still can't get you out from under my skin. I always swore if someone did to me what you did I'd drop them so fast and yet, I can't forget you. You still make me cry, I still worry about you, I still wonder if you ever think about me... For so long you were my rock and shelter, my mistake was letting you be but your mistake was much worse. You broke me, I tried to stay strong but you defeated me. How long must I continue to be haunted by you? I want my dignity back, I want to love and be loved by him without these thoughts running through my head. It's not fair to him. And you don't deserve it. I hate that I don't hate you, I hate that you still have the power to make me feel so small and dejected. When did I become so pathetic? Does it even bother you?
By the way... That STD didn't come from me you lying, cheating son of a bitch... I wish I could take back that time spent with you... I wish I could stop loving you....
-Sarah
I HATE what you did to me, 4 years have past, I'm in love with a wonderful person but I still can't get you out from under my skin. I always swore if someone did to me what you did I'd drop them so fast and yet, I can't forget you. You still make me cry, I still worry about you, I still wonder if you ever think about me... For so long you were my rock and shelter, my mistake was letting you be but your mistake was much worse. You broke me, I tried to stay strong but you defeated me. How long must I continue to be haunted by you? I want my dignity back, I want to love and be loved by him without these thoughts running through my head. It's not fair to him. And you don't deserve it. I hate that I don't hate you, I hate that you still have the power to make me feel so small and dejected. When did I become so pathetic? Does it even bother you?
By the way... That STD didn't come from me you lying, cheating son of a bitch... I wish I could take back that time spent with you... I wish I could stop loving you....
-Sarah
TheBlackDahlia
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2007
- Posts
- 388
Dear B,
I tried to get over you, but I feel like I just can't. All of a sudden I'm realizing why we didn't work as a couple.
You were the first guy that I truly liked, the first one that I could seriously picture myself being with. I swear, we are such similar creatures it's frightening. We have the same interests, the same opinions and almost the same take on life. You're like my other half, only better and more stable. When I'm around you, I feel protected, like nothing can get to me, no harm will come my way. You understand me and my behavior so much more than most people I've known. When I was hiding and afraid to talk, you never took anything I did as unfriendly. Rather, you stepped back, like you wanted to give me time to clear my mind. You're the kind of person I honestly wish I had around growing up. Hell, part of the reason why I chose my av for this site was because the man in the painting reminded me of you.
As I take a closer look at myself, I realize that I am not the right girl for you, despite what everyone else says. I am a very jealous and possessive woman. When I find something that has deep meaning to me, my very own treasure, I always feel the need to steal it, hide it and have it all for me. You indeed are a great. great treasure, and many times I want nothing more than to take you away from everyone and keep you to myself. I get so jealous when I see you with a girl I don't know. I wonder who she is and what she wants of you. I even get suspicious of some of our mutual friends. I think "can't you see me, goddamnit! you're mine and mine alone!" And I know very well that this isn't healthy, but I can't help feeling the way I do, like I want to tie you down so badly. But then I look at you and realize; the truth is that I couldn't bear to tie you down know matter how badly I want to. I see you mingling. I see you having fun with all your other friends, I see you out there with your band, performing, and you look so happy. That's the way I love to see you. You're not the type to let anyone, especially someone like me, tie you down. If I were to do such a thing, you would be miserable, and I would be miserable because you were. And even if I wasn't able to keep you down and we were in a relationship, I would complain and we would do nothing but fight. I couldn't bear to see you unhappy all the time.
I'm obviously not ready for this, and I know that I'm not behaving well. Last semester I was so afraid of losing you. You have no idea how many times I cried over you. And now I'm crying once again as I write this message because you're transfering next year and I've wasted so much time being angry at you for no reason. Now I really feel like I'm going to lose you. I'm so, so sorry that I've been so bitter. Please, give me these last few months to make it all up to you. I really do love you and want nothing but the best for you. Let me be your friend again, because I can't stand to lose another over something so stupid.
So be free my love. Do what you want, hang around as many girls as you want. Who could blame anyway, hey . Just stay safe and don't harm anyone (what am I saying, I know you wouldn't do that. And when you're in Boston, promise me that you'll always stay in touch.
Sincerely,
*******
Your love will be the death of me
I tried to get over you, but I feel like I just can't. All of a sudden I'm realizing why we didn't work as a couple.
You were the first guy that I truly liked, the first one that I could seriously picture myself being with. I swear, we are such similar creatures it's frightening. We have the same interests, the same opinions and almost the same take on life. You're like my other half, only better and more stable. When I'm around you, I feel protected, like nothing can get to me, no harm will come my way. You understand me and my behavior so much more than most people I've known. When I was hiding and afraid to talk, you never took anything I did as unfriendly. Rather, you stepped back, like you wanted to give me time to clear my mind. You're the kind of person I honestly wish I had around growing up. Hell, part of the reason why I chose my av for this site was because the man in the painting reminded me of you.
As I take a closer look at myself, I realize that I am not the right girl for you, despite what everyone else says. I am a very jealous and possessive woman. When I find something that has deep meaning to me, my very own treasure, I always feel the need to steal it, hide it and have it all for me. You indeed are a great. great treasure, and many times I want nothing more than to take you away from everyone and keep you to myself. I get so jealous when I see you with a girl I don't know. I wonder who she is and what she wants of you. I even get suspicious of some of our mutual friends. I think "can't you see me, goddamnit! you're mine and mine alone!" And I know very well that this isn't healthy, but I can't help feeling the way I do, like I want to tie you down so badly. But then I look at you and realize; the truth is that I couldn't bear to tie you down know matter how badly I want to. I see you mingling. I see you having fun with all your other friends, I see you out there with your band, performing, and you look so happy. That's the way I love to see you. You're not the type to let anyone, especially someone like me, tie you down. If I were to do such a thing, you would be miserable, and I would be miserable because you were. And even if I wasn't able to keep you down and we were in a relationship, I would complain and we would do nothing but fight. I couldn't bear to see you unhappy all the time.
I'm obviously not ready for this, and I know that I'm not behaving well. Last semester I was so afraid of losing you. You have no idea how many times I cried over you. And now I'm crying once again as I write this message because you're transfering next year and I've wasted so much time being angry at you for no reason. Now I really feel like I'm going to lose you. I'm so, so sorry that I've been so bitter. Please, give me these last few months to make it all up to you. I really do love you and want nothing but the best for you. Let me be your friend again, because I can't stand to lose another over something so stupid.
So be free my love. Do what you want, hang around as many girls as you want. Who could blame anyway, hey
. Just stay safe and don't harm anyone (what am I saying, I know you wouldn't do that. And when you're in Boston, promise me that you'll always stay in touch.Sincerely,
*******
Your love will be the death of me
Last edited:
DVS
A ghost from your dreams
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2002
- Posts
- 11,416
Dear X.
What you wrote was rather rude. (Text included here for clarification purposes only. Names have not been included).
"Wow, send me back to california!!!!!There has got to be, 2 maybe 3 good looking men here, and the same amount with the women. Is this all this town has to offer? I might as well go back to vanilla!!!!A."
I thought it needed a reply...(again, no names)
Hello, X.
I hope you are well this evening, although there is something I feel the need to say. It's not nice to be saying such things about the lifestyle people that live in your new area. We might just prefer that you do head on back to California. If I wasn't the gentleman Dom that I am, I could make a similar comment about you.
But, here in fly over country, we try to get along with outsiders and also with those who have had the misfortune of finding themselves transplanted here from somewhere more important. I'm sure it must be a bit of a culture shock for you. I'll consider that as the primary reason for your little outburst, and let it go at that. Deal?
Everybody play nice, now. OK?
A reply isn't necessary, X. Just don't belittle people for something they can't change. Thank you for your understanding.
What you wrote was rather rude. (Text included here for clarification purposes only. Names have not been included).
"Wow, send me back to california!!!!!There has got to be, 2 maybe 3 good looking men here, and the same amount with the women. Is this all this town has to offer? I might as well go back to vanilla!!!!A."
I thought it needed a reply...(again, no names)
Hello, X.
I hope you are well this evening, although there is something I feel the need to say. It's not nice to be saying such things about the lifestyle people that live in your new area. We might just prefer that you do head on back to California. If I wasn't the gentleman Dom that I am, I could make a similar comment about you.
But, here in fly over country, we try to get along with outsiders and also with those who have had the misfortune of finding themselves transplanted here from somewhere more important. I'm sure it must be a bit of a culture shock for you. I'll consider that as the primary reason for your little outburst, and let it go at that. Deal?
Everybody play nice, now. OK?
A reply isn't necessary, X. Just don't belittle people for something they can't change. Thank you for your understanding.
TheBlackDahlia
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2007
- Posts
- 388
After reading my last post, you all must think that I'm either incredibly pathetic or incredibly deranged right now.
Sir_Winston54
Assume the position!
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2004
- Posts
- 14,027
Incredibly pathetic/deranged? Nope. Human? Yep.TheBlackDahlia said:
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2002
- Posts
- 18,730
DVS said:
I'm guessing they figure it can be changed by joining the long line of plastic surgery lists waiting to be made into someone they are not.
Catalina
intothewoods
Truth seeker
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2007
- Posts
- 10,966
Well, as an uber hawt Californian girl, I myself often am walking down the street, just basking in my own beauty and wondering, wondering where all the other hawties are. I mean, how do you all live in my presence, I wonder?
Bwah ha ha - sorry - long day after a long weekend. Am just blowing off much needed steam with some silliness...
Bwah ha ha - sorry - long day after a long weekend. Am just blowing off much needed steam with some silliness...
intothewoods
Truth seeker
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2007
- Posts
- 10,966
DVS said:
Yeah. I'll say. On the tummy ache, that is. I spent most of this weekend so very hurt and angry over my soon-to-be-ex-husband. I made myself sick this weekend, I was so upset.
Funny, I get turn the eye of almost any man I want. But I can't get the father of my child to reconsider our relationship. But what can you do? I'll just have to move on...let go...
TheBlackDahlia
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2007
- Posts
- 388
Homburg said:
Honestly, as much as I hate it sometimes, neither would I
Cheshire D
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Nov 3, 2005
- Posts
- 187
Dear self:
Don't let him get under your skin. Get under his, first. Preferrably with a bowie knife.
Dear self:
Get therapy.
Don't let him get under your skin. Get under his, first. Preferrably with a bowie knife.
Dear self:
Get therapy.
Chris_Xavier
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Sep 13, 2006
- Posts
- 5,545
Dear Bunny..
Your wit, humor, sarcasm and general presence are missed. Get it together and GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE.
(I have some throats for you to slice open.)
Chris
Your wit, humor, sarcasm and general presence are missed. Get it together and GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE.
(I have some throats for you to slice open.)
Chris
LittleJade
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2007
- Posts
- 11,030
Dear X:
I can't fricking WAIT to see you next Saturday. Even if we're just going to watch our hubbies, with their fine asses, move heavy furniture.
Can't wait. *grin*
I can't fricking WAIT to see you next Saturday. Even if we're just going to watch our hubbies, with their fine asses, move heavy furniture.
Can't wait. *grin*
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