Dear X:

[BiBunny]

Dear Cocksucker,

I bought powdered doughnuts today.

Then, I had a nervous breakdown.

The two things aren't related. They just happened to occur on the same day.

The stupid doughnuts made me think of you. The breakdown made me think of the other B., the one with the same name as you. Not that it was his fault...just that he was the person I turned to when my mother and circumstances made me cry.

Funny, isn't it? For all your comments about what a terrible person he is and all your low-blow fat jokes at his expense, it's him I think of when I need help and you I think of when I eat doughnuts.

I still love you, but I hate you more. I feel neither of those things for him. That's probably just as well for him.

~B.

 

[the captians wench]

Dear X,

I had a dream about you last night. It was very comforting and incredibly filthy, just as I remember you. I haven't thought about you in ages, and now I miss you very much. You always seemed to know how to make me feel so looked after, even though you weren't a very stable presence in my life. The mind numbing sex helped too.

I wonder what you would think of all I've accomplished in the past few months. You always did encourage me to go back to school, I'm finally doing that. I wonder what you would think of my major. I kind of feel as if you wouldn't be surprised by it. You always did seem to know me better than any one else.

I hope you are doing well darling.



cuntikins

 

[unregistered]

 

[Stella_Omega]

I think you're misreading most of the comments, honestly. Or you're thinking of the "mommy porn" bullshit that the vanilla world goes on and on about.

I don't, ever, make fun of women who are inspired to explore their own sexuality on account of something they've read.

I sometimes make fun of women who expect to find Prince Charming in black leather on account of something they've read.

I think... It's the difference between exploration and expectation.

 

[intothewoods]

By the fourth Shades of Grey post I suppose I did roll my eyes, although I didn't post anything.

Really, my reaction to the book is that it just confirmed this mainstream s&m trend -- you're not as kinky as you think you are and all that.

I really did waste a lot of energy feeling like my ex could out me or screw with me in some way, and well, the upside is that bdsm is going to be no big deal. Or already is.

 

[Keroin]

Dear JW, lover of cats and tea, save us.

Please.

K

 

[gypsy*seer]

Dear S,

You DO seem to know just what I need

...sometimes long before I do, even.

I know it's not easy on us, having Mom here living with me, but believe me, you are appreciated. More than you know...

Thank you for today.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Dear X,

Ended up out your way again. It's been a long while now since you maintained the constantly-on-my-mind focus of my brain. Yet, driving past familiar places I couldn't stop myself from thinking of you. My physical response was instantaneous. Longing, remembering, wondering and knowing with absolute certainty that we can never be just friends. When the sight of a D&B or a street sign throws me into a memory-loop and leaves me turned on, well, I was surprised at myself to say the least.

I do miss you. While you're not constantly on my mind, you do pop up with some frequency. I hope you're happy and well.


Me

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Dear X,

I'm not sure how it is that you're able to tolerate my foibles and failures as a human being. I'm certainly grateful for your forbearance, though, and I *am* trying to do/be better.



Me

 

[HottieMama]

Dear Beautiful,

I hate the "new" getting to know you stage of a relationship. Sure, it's exciting and charged with energy and possibilities, but for me it is also complete with anxiety, insecurity, and fear. I worry I won't make you happy. I worry that I will say something or tell you something about myself, and you will leave. I worry my manners or protocol will not please you. You could have anyone you want, why me? I'm so out of practice with this "role." I'm scared I'm too far out of practice to make you happy. All I want is to make you happy and proud of me. All I want is to capture that feeling I experience in your arms and bottle it, so I am never without it.... I miss you. There is new True Blood on the DVR and Pepsi Max in the fridge, all that's missing is you... Come over soon... I need to know that everything's ok.... That I am ok.... I need you...

Sincerely,
Your smart-ass...

 

[paisleyavenger]

Dear X,
I've been meaning to tell you this. But this is as close as I've gotten. I tried this weekend, but I kept wussing out. I need you to know, but I can't shake the voice in the back of my head that tells me you'll be disinterested or turned off.
Well. *deep breath*
I know its only been two months. and I know we're still getting to know each other. I have a lot of problems. I'm fluffy. I can't cook. I can't keep house. I act like a kid when I'm excited. I leave my socks everywhere. I can't seem to be bothered to change a light bulb. As illustrated above, I'm self-deprecating...and I believe what I say.
But when I get to be with You, something changes. That cheesy story you had me reading. Well, there's a line in it. - Master is home. Now I can be who I am. And, bearing in mind my crap memory, it is hopefully probative to you that I actually remembered the line.
To me, this line encompasses quite a lot. I can be who I am sexually, a kinky li'l slut whose mouth waters at the thought of your cock forced ever deeper down her throat. Or a good little girl, who obeys (mostly) without hesitation or question.
But more than that, I can be ...me. I feel my potential when I'm with you. Like I could do anything you asked. Please don't laugh, because this is cliche even to me, but I can't think of a better way to say it. When You're not here, the color drains away. Everything's grey until the next time I get to greet you; kneeling at your feet, hooking my hair behind my ears so it's not in the way while I make obeisance to your boots. I'm contented to lay on your shoulder or at your feet and just be with you. Feeling my place, feeling sheltered and nurtured, valued and cared for.
Well dammit Master, can you blame a girl for being sad when you go? The house is empty when I get back from work. No wonder I drag my ass getting home.
And now. finally. my point.
It started as an idle murmur. A fun little fantasy, not to be taken seriously, or regarded as possible. But, You see. I'm needy. I need you. (this is the part where I fear the most. I worry I'm too dependent on You, to the point of being clingy and gross and stalkerish and unacceptable)
Well, Master, here it is. I started fantasizing about getting to see you every day. That turned into living with you. Being allowed to see to Your wants and honored with...just...getting to be near you. And that turned into, hey my lease is up in September... and I don't know how to broach this to you. I want to live with you. Don't know why you'd want to with me though.
I love you, in whatever capacity You'll let me. It's just my immature neediness, not being content with what I've got.

Thank you, forum gods, for providing a safe way to get this out of my system.

 

[satindesire]

Dear HS,

You should be ashamed of yourself. I am constantly cringing in disbelief when I read the absolute hatred and bigotry that you spout for the cause of "traditional morals and family values". I shake my head in disgust every time you insult or condemn another person for doing things that are supposedly against "Christian beliefs", yet you're blind to your own hypocrisy with your adulterous adult-breastfeeing relationship to a married woman and your extensive porn collection. It makes me physically sick to my stomach knowing that the hate you spew makes other people think ALL Christians are like you, which makes ME have to work ten times harder to prove that I'm NOT like you.

You don't have the right to judge anyone, especially since the yardstick you want to use would make YOU end up stoned to death in the street. Jesus died to make sure we would ALL have the chance at eternal paradise, and condemning other sinners with slander and insults makes me wonder just how much Faith you really have.

Dear D,

You're overmoderating me because you don't like my opinions. You're not going to bully me out of the group. I'm not scared of you. I can share my opinions respectfully and never break a single rule and as a matter of fact, I intend on staying there for a very long time, and talking about my opinions every chance I get, just to show you that I'm not going to be pushed out by a hypocritical religious zealot on a power trip.

 

[Cattypuss]

Dear F

There aren't enough thank yous and sorries in the world.

So sorry. And thank you. So very much.

Good things come to those who wait, eh?!

xxx

 

[Keroin]

Dear sci fi and fantasy artists,

Believe it or not, women also enjoy the genres you work in and some of us are getting tired of looking at female characters in their underwear. Also, you may not realize this but underwear is a very poor choice for battle gear. Your male characters all seem to realize this, as they are consistently clad in armour the size of a Volkswagen, but I suppose your female characters must all be brain dead idiots? Which leads me to conclude...

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Dear sci fi and fantasy artists,

Believe it or not, women also enjoy the genres you work in and some of us are getting tired of looking at female characters in their underwear. Also, you may not realize this but underwear is a very poor choice for battle gear. Your male characters all seem to realize this, as they are consistently clad in armour the size of a Volkswagen, but I suppose your female characters must all be much tougher and stronger than the males? Which leads me to conclude...

that the women are not only tougher and stronger, but look much MUCH better in underwear than the men do in theirs?

And oh, yeah, fixed that one phrase in your post.

 

[desertslave]

Dear X:

Thank you for truly listening to me at last.

 

[ebunny15]

where's my stuff?

Dear X,
So you got what you wanted out of me and now I don't exist...that's fine. Cowardly, but whatever. But can you please send back my panties? The idea that something so intimate of mine is with a man who doesn't seem to think I'm worth his time is revolting. Maybe they've landed in the trash, or maybe you're still using them for your own sense of pleasure; if you are, you don't deserve them.
~~Me~~

 

[Kajira Callista]

Dear Daddy (the one who created me),
Fathers day never gets easier. My heart feels like it is broken in a million pieces all over again. I miss you so much.
Love,
Your formerly spoiled rotten daughter

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Dear X,
Yes, I never responded to you. Want to know why? Because you were on iggy, for a long, long time, and I never got your PMs. Why did I put you on iggy (and not that I think you really care at this point)? For starters, I have a host of PMs and emails from the months after you broke up with me that provide a strong basis.

But finally it came down to that weekend in the fall a year ago when you were really upset and struggling with something you had to do. Something devastating and lifechanging. I tried to be supportive and caring (I really do still care about you and believe in you). You never responded to my outpouring of compassion and confidence in you. At all. After everything.

And that was it. I wasn't going to be that anymore. I wasn't going to do that anymore. I'm worth more than that.

Me

 

[BonBon1976]

Dear X

I am so sad that I haven't spoken to you in so many years and you will always have a piece of my heart. You were not a good person but I loved you anyway.

 

[hunnyblonde]

I'm amazed to have found this thread on precisely the night that I most needed it....

This has been a very long time coming.. Let the ripping of old scars begin. *sigh*

Dear E ( from 1996),

I wasn't ready to have sex. To lose that piece of myself for the very fist time. I was just a little girl. Confused and pressured and.... wanting to somehow please you, whom I perceived to be a steady, reliable boyfriend aside from your constant displeasure in my lack of willingness. I waited so long, put you off forever, over a year. I should have been stronger, and I should have demanded that you leave it alone. I should have held my ground.

I was such a stupid girl. And you took advantage of me. My failure with you has colored every sexual experience I've had since, and I'll never stop hating you. Though I might some day stop hating myself for having made that decision all those years ago.


Dear Dad (Birth-current),

You're not my father, and you never have been. I realize that it was I who made the first contact to notify you that you had grandchildren... but your interest in them disgusts me. I wanted them to know you, not so much the other way round. You're a pathetic excuse for a father, a glorified rapist really for what I understand happened with my mother.

The next time I walk in the room, and you dare to look at me as though I'm some sexy girl on the street, I swear to God I just might break your goddamned face.

Be a man. Know when you've done wrong. Make it right. Don't be such a fucking coward. God almighty, where did I get my strength when I come from such a long line of fools? I'll never know. And the same statement applies to my intelligence also...I'll just never understand how I made it out alive...


Dear S (2007),

Fuck you. Oh and... SHUT. the fuck. UP. Yea I know you hate that sentence. Just ask me if I care. Or... ask me if I EVER cared. It was a way to point out so beautifully that I - the willing submissive - was so obviously stronger than you. I did it just to spite you, and I do it again now to punctuate how much hate there is in my heart for you.

You left my most sensitive and exposed bits around for her to find. You completely betrayed me. And then... you were gone. Completely. Gone. And I had a love for all of the things you'd taught me to need so recently... a love that I had never been taught how to let go of. Do you have any idea what I've been through since then? How alone a person can become under those circumstances?

It has taken... 5 long years to find someone else. I wasn't looking. You can't begin to appreciate what I went through trying to destroy every ounce of submissive feeling there was in me. How I wanted to feel the burn of its death on my skin until I was singed black and all the feeling receptors were dead. I wanted to kill the part of me that was yours, but I'm afraid it simply would have left too little of me alive. Because my submissive flaw of course, is that I give too much of myself.

This new person is...patient. He's understanding, he's... not a Dom, strictly speaking.... But my natural tendencies are awakened by him. It's the first time in so long, but I can remember the taste of the newness of submission. I'm starting to feel it blossoming again, like it could possibly be mine to give once more. And every time I feel it almost in my grasp, the fear and the ugly memory of our last few pages brings back that gripping fear of being left alone and of being so devastated with hurt. I can't be that vulnerable again.

I believed submission was a mental illness for a while after you. I thought I could cure it.... heal myself and no longer need it or even recognize the call of it. I thought I could put it aside and let it slowly fade, neglected over time. But I can say with confidence now that I don't believe it would ever truly die off. Not when someone who isn't even trying to bring it to the surface does so with such incredible adeptness.

God what I wouldn't give for just a scoop of vanilla to be enough now, because of you. I'd wish to not ever ever need to feel the subjugation and Dominance of another, but I'm afraid you might have been right about one thing: I was born with it kind of....naturally in my blood. And it does not seem as though it's possible to escape or heal it.


Dear R,

Thank you. And.... I love you.

 

[kiwi_submissive]

Dear X,

Well long flowing intelligent words seem to lose important messages so I will keep it short and sweet

Don't forget that I like you lots and lots and heaps and heaps

Me

 

[redslady]

Dear x,

I used to make excuses for you, not anymore. I used to smooth the ruffled feathers you left behind, not anymore. When I heard that you weren't going to be at our daughter's graduation I was not surprised. Are you so blind you don't see the devastation you choice has caused her? She has worked so hard, it's not easy to graduate university with a double major and double minor and be on the dean's honour list every year. Yes, she's always been smart, but that shouldn't dismiss the accomplishments she has achieved.

So when our girl asks me why you aren't there, I will be directing her straight your way. You made this choice, you have to live with the fallout.

I, on the other hand will be there, with the biggest proud momma smile and tears in my eyes.

 

[hunnyblonde]

Thought this was a perfect song for this thread. Even shares the namesake.

Hope it helps some of the contributors here feel a bit of empowerment....and closure and peace.

Dear X

 

[desertslave]

So when our girl asks me why you aren't there, I will be directing her straight your way. You made this choice, you have to live with the fallout.

I, on the other hand will be there, with the biggest proud momma smile and tears in my eyes.

My ex became an absentee dad not long after our divorce, unless I made it stupidly easy for him to do what he should have been doing anyway. I made the exact same decision that you have, to tell the kids to ask HIM instead of making any more excuses for him. They're old enough to understand and interpret things in their own way. I tried never to badmouth him to them, knowing that they would learn in their own way what the truth was.

Give your daughter an extra hug for me.