Dear X:

[voluptuary_manque]

Dear X,
When all this hospital uproar is over, do you think I could have my wife back again, please?

 

[jacks4u]

Dear Asshole,

Yea, you with the gold Honda Del Sol. I know AZ 84 is a long drive, between Phoenix and Maricopa. Of course, it was late at night. Do you think I'm blind? Perhaps so, after you approached me from behind with both your high beams and 'driving lights' on.

I suppose I'll recover, as soon as the burn spots fully fade from my eyesight, but I've got to say, "Your driving skills suck." Are you just plain stupid, or do you really need a guide dog while driving?

First, you blind me, and I'm not sure whether to be thankful that you are tailgating so close I can not even see your headlights, or be worried that I may be another statistic, a victim of your poor driving habbits.

Then, when you finally pull into the next lane, you sit like a fixture on my rear quarter, right in my blind spot, and refuse to budge either forward or back. Do I look like your guide dog? It wouldn't have been so bad, if the road was clear. But no! There had to be a slow assed pickup in my lane, probably doing about 45 miles an hour to our 75.

So, if this slow poke was in my lane, why did you slow down and lock me in behind the hapless pickup? why didn't you just keep up your speed, and let me fall in behind you?

You really do have a cool car, it would have been a shame to get it all balled up in a Ménage à trois for 2 cars and a truck. But that was where you seemed to be going. Thank the deities I had adequate breaks, because failing them, you left me no where to go.

Did you get your Driver's License from a Cracker Jack box? or did it come in the mail, addressed to 'occupant'? Either way, you need some serious schooling before sticking your key in that slot again. I'll even volunteer to show you where that key fits, and how to turn it.

PS. You won't see me on the road for a few days, My eyes are still recovering, but if I eventually see you on the road, I promise, I'll find a nice place to pull off, and let you commit suicide by car!

Jacks

 

[TheeGoatPig]

Dear X,

We've got a problem.

Signed,

the guy in the other office.

 

[FallingToFly]

Dear AH as a whole:

Wanna join in a daisy chain?

Seriously- I'm having a lot of fun being back. And I have found some really cool stories so far.

I guess I kinda missed you guys, maybe.

 

[glynndah]

Dear therapist,

I can't imagine any real-life situation in which I would feel compelled (except at gunpoint, perhaps) to make that movement. The swelling, pain and nausea I've been experiencing since yesterday afternoon cannot possibly be very therapeutic. Let's just skip that exercise tomorrow, shall we?

Sincerely,

the limping once again good little witch

 

[lesbiaphrodite]

Dear X,

There is a sadness and a feeling of loss that you cause in me too frequently. Why must it be thus?

LA

 

[sadangel]

dear x
i am sorry.

 

[rgraham666]

Dear X.

Don't be. I understand.

 

[TheeGoatPig]

Dear leg,

Stop cramping already.

Sincerely,

the rest of your sore, beaten, and bruised body.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Dear Universe,

You win.

 

[sadangel]

Dear X

Just thank you. For understanding. For being there. For being You.

~me~

 

[Handley_Page]

~

Big Hug

 

[amber03]

Dear x

Why is it my husband still thinks Sherlock Holmes is straight?

 

[oggbashan]

Dear x

Why is it my husband still thinks Sherlock Holmes is straight?

She isn't?

Og

 

[Handley_Page]

Dear x

Why is it my husband still thinks Sherlock Holmes is straight?

Dear Confused,

It would be more correct to say there is no evidence to show he's gay. Men used to share flats in those days and there was no assumption of anything 'abnormal'. After all, Watson got married.

-----------------------------------------------------

Dear X,
How does one get rid of this Spam ?

 

[FallingToFly]

Dear X and X:

You know, I'm so fucking sick of men doing nothing but screaming, while I am left to try and clean up the fucking mess.

You're both childish, immature, and driving me insane.

Thanks. I needed to start my Friday with no sleep, vomiting, and a migraine.

Oh, and taking money for a job and then leaving that job to me- priceless.

I give up on ever seeing either of you grow up. That's sad when discussing TWENTY SIX YEAR OLDS.

Bite me arse, you brats.

-Annoyed

 

[Handley_Page]

Dear Annoyed

Please be advised that a Model 14 Water cannon is available to you at short notice.
Be further advised that it should not be run at full speed: it can kill.

The Water Cannon company Inc.

 

[Nirvanadragones]

Why do you even come home anymore, if you're so tired. I know the escape that work brings. I get it, you don't have to explain to me how good it feels to be successful in your career.

You get home exhausted, you leave even more so. And you're not spending the quality time with her that you both need.

It's not working. You don't have to be here, except for seeing her. You don't have to check up on me. What do you do with what you see anyway? Add it to your mental case notes of what a fucked up mother I am.

Maybe its time to reconsider those painful options.

I'm selfish. If I let her stay with you, I have no purpose.

 

[Katyusha]

Dear Employment Gods,

Would it really be too much to ask to hear back on even ONE job that I've applied for? I'm sick of putting in applications and sending out resumes and feeling like my efforts are useless and a huge waste of time; I feel like I'm being given the silent treatment and I don't even know why. So please, a little help here?

Sincerely,
A very upset and frustrated job-seeker

 

[fieryjen]

Dear Employment Gods,

Would it really be too much to ask to hear back on even ONE job that I've applied for? I'm sick of putting in applications and sending out resumes and feeling like my efforts are useless and a huge waste of time; I feel like I'm being given the silent treatment and I don't even know why. So please, a little help here?

Sincerely,
A very upset and frustrated job-seeker

*sends positive thoughts*

 

[crvygirl]

Dear X,

I'm afraid of becoming resentful and grasping. I don't know why I am so continually surprised to feel the same things that very nearly all of us feel as we age, experience life's joys and sorrows, and face pain, but I am. I expect to duck under, to have them slide by, to get credit for time served...something.

But nope. Here I am, staring down a birthday and worrying that if I do not take action soon, I will wind up missing an experience that is true to the very core of who I am.

And I'm posting about this on an anonymous thread on a public porn website, because I'm afraid to tell you, afraid you'll want to give me that experience and then fail me. If I do it, I need to know that I could handle it on my own, and know that if caring for you got in the way, I would be okay with letting go of the responsibility I feel for you.

C says I'm very alone, but surrounded by clamoring voices. He is right, and I hate that, too.

Me

 

[TheeGoatPig]

Dear Architect,

You are not my boss. Just because you are "partnered" with my boss for a job, and pay him for services rendered (which makes it more of an agreement than a partnership), does not mean that you can wander in at any time and tell me what to do at any time that you want it done. My paycheck is not made out by you, it is made out by him. He is the boss. There is no question about that, and yet after all of these years you still don't appear to understand that.

Also, I do not make my own schedule, so you will have to refer to my actual boss (the one whose name is on my paychecks) to find out if I am available tomorrow or not. I will not know until I get the ok from my boss (the one who pays me) if I am allowed to work on your project or not. Please stop pestering ME about this. It will not help your cause any.

Sincerely,

Shut the fuck up already!!!

 

[Handley_Page]

Nice one 3GP.
Been there, done that.

 

[CarolinaHeat]

dear j x 3, s, o, & m

fuck you!!!

~~~~~~~~~
dear L,

i'm beyond struggling. please just talk to me.

~~~~~~~~~
dear S,

holding you close...as always.

~~~~~~~~~
dear universe,

i really don't think i can handle any more so lighten up, will ya?

~c~

 

[TheeGoatPig]

Dear Architect,

Nope, still not my boss. I still have to follow his work schedule, no matter how dire you convey your situation to be. It doesn't matter if your job has to be submitted tomorrow, I have to finish his work first.

And it isn't an hour of work. I have done work on your project when I have had the time and put in about three hours so far. I do not just change the text on a dimension just because that is the way you want it done. That is the wrong way to do things. You have to actually fix the distance between the two objects so that the dimension reads true. that way, no mistakes can be made by misreading a false dimension.

Stop telling me how to do my job, and stop wasting my fucking time! I will get to it when I can, and I will do the best job I can. enough already! Fuck off with a serving spoon!

Sincerely,

The disgruntled guy in the corner.