Dear X:

[Guest]

dear gabrielle

i was thinking today that in two days time it will be a year that your mum got sick the first time. last summer. cant believe its all been a year cause sometimes it feels like yesterday.

i read through your and your mums threads today. just cause i wanted to feel close to you all. and i saw again how amazingly loved you are. you and your mum. this cyperspace we have here - all of us came together and we sent all the energy we had to you and her in the hope that you would both be ok. because the alternative was just too devastating to think of.

and then your mum got better and a few months later in nov you were born. a 24 week premie. the first time i saw you i knew why you were here. it was so clear that you were here to teach us about love. you brought together oceans and worlds. people from all over the world knew about you and prayed for you. i prayed. i didnt know to what and who but i prayed and i begged and i made deals with god. i promised him that i'd do whatever he wanted from me if he made you and your mummy ok.

and then you were both ok. and for 4 days we held our breath. and still you taught us about love. what love really means.

and then you had to leave us. i've never really spoken about how all this made me feel. i haven't been ready. but tonight i want to tell you how beautiful you are and how much i miss you and love you. you change my life forever as did your mum. i think of you every day. i wonder what you'd be like if you were still with us. i wonder how you wouldve changed our lives even more.

and for those who never got to know you or know about you, they missed out knowing one of the most beautiful baby souls ever.

i miss you and i'm sorry that ive been selfish and hurting on my own. your mum hurts so much more. shes such a strong woman. the strongest ive ever known. and she loves you very very much.

we miss you gabrielle. but we know youre watching over us.

jessi

 

[Fallenfromgrace]

Dear Jessi,



<3 N

 

[feeeriek]

dear jessi

 

[Just-Legal]

Dear Jessi



H

 

[Guest]

dear jessi



C

 

[Chantilyvamp]

dear jessi

You are a beautiful soul and I have goosebumps

chant

 

[FatDino]

Dear Jessi,

What everyone has said.

Dino

~~~

Dear B,

I really don't know what has happened to us. I don't know what I did wrong. I don't know what drove you away from me. I don't know why you've cut me out of your life. You don't answer my IMs, you avoid my calls and when you did answer, you tried to end it short. This isn't the you I know.

I remember growing up with you. I remember the way my life revolved around you. I remember how we were always there for each other. We were closer than sisters, than best friends, than...we were like soulmates. We spoke the language only we knew, we laughed at nothingness, sometimes we laughed just because we looked at each other. No one understood you more than me, and no one knew what I was thinking but you. We complemented each other, we comforted each other. We couldn't part. Everyone always compared me to you and vice versa, but we never did. We never cared. What's happened to that?

I know I'm the one who left, the one who went away, and supposedly the stronger one of us, but I feel lost and broken right now. You will never know how much I'm missing you, how many tears I've cried thinking you don't want me anymore, or how much it hurts knowing that we may never be the same again. I know everyone gets more defensive as they grow up, but I can't think of any reason that will ever make me cut you out of my life the way you're doing with me. Maybe I'm not the stronger one after all. Maybe I'm a fool, a blind, a deaf...some naive person who thinks we will never change.

Yes, I should change the way I look at the world, because from now on, you won't be there for me anymore. You haven't in a while. But God knows it's impossible for me to do that. I cling to our memory like it's my savior. I need you, even though thinking of you breaks me into pieces. I savor each moment in my dreams when you're in them, only to burst into tears when I wake up and realize you're not with me. I need you.

It's your birthday tomorrow, another one I can't spend with you. I sent you a card, one that says I'm missing you. I'm clinging to the hope that you will reply to that card, just to let me know you haven't completely forgotten me, because I can never forget you.

I think I love you...and am in love with you. And maybe I have been all along. It is a sin in people's eyes, and I'm committing it. I don't think I'll ever be able to free myself of these 'sinful' feelings either. You will never be mine, but I'll be the sad pair of eyes that watch you walk away, I'll be the longing heart that aches for you every day, I'll be the shoulder you can lean on anytime you want, and I'll be the comforting arms that welcome you when you need a rest. I'll be yours, always. And I wish you happiness, even if I'm not in that picture.

I'll live, I'll get up and I'll move on. But I'll never get over you.

L.

 

[Just-Legal]

Oh Dino sweetie... *huggles*

--

Dear Employment Gods:

Please play fair. I'm tired and I'm hurting and I just want something that will keep my head above water while not destroying my soul like retail used to.

That office trainee job at Merc would be nice!

H

 

[Adi87]

Dear Jessi,

I now know why everyone here says they love you...

I you too...

Sincerely,
Aditya.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Dino,

I cannot offer you any advice or any words but can only say that I and your friends here are beside you if you need them.


Aditya.

 

[Guest]

you're all sweethearts

 

[Fallenfromgrace]

Dear Dampy and Dino,

I had to reboot my pc earlier, hence my sudden disapearance. After this i had to tend to brat 1, brat 2 and brat 1's best friend who is staying till saturday.

I have popped back for a few moments, but am now heading back off to watch some TV, i dont do it often, but there are a couple of good programs on tonight so i am likely to indulge.

Catch you later tonight

 

[Just-Legal]

Dear "You Lot".

How dare you? No, wait, scrap that, I know how you dare. And out of the lot of you, I can only get help from four people? When I have bent over BACKWARD for you all?

Yet, if I stop helping, I'm the one who's in the wrong?

Jeezus.

Me.

PS: Make me sign up then leave me on the bench? WTF?!

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

Dear friends in need:

I wish I could lift some of your pain. I feel guilty for being disconnected and floating outside of the intense currents of emotion and interaction that roil you and only occasionally burble to the surface where they are visible to me. I'm always surprised when that happens, but aware that I shouldn't be, and it makes me feel indadequate to be so oblivious, and then so helpless. I am not roiled by any such intense currents in my life now. I look back to times when I might have been, and I guess I was, because it seems like I'm looking at a different person - is this because I'm much older, or because I'm "broken" in some way? Maybe some of each.

Anyway, notwithstanding my own placidness/broken-ness, and despite the fact that my life is light years away from yours in so many other ways - this silly web site is about the only thing we have in common - we nevertheless seem to develop real relationships based on our interactions here. I think about you all the time, and it feels like I care deeply about about a few of you.

I wish I could help. If I thought I could help by visiting, I would. I may do so anyway, but I know that wouldn't really be about helping. Mainly because, it's not in my power fix the things need fixing, or fill the holes that need filling. Most of those aren't in anyone's power.

In real life I'm not really a hugger, so rather than repeat the usual formula I'll instead beam you warm affection, sympathy and well wishes.

Sincerely,

Me

 

[galaxygoddess]

Dear body:

You could have TOLD me! There's supposed to be signs and symptoms right? why didn't I have none of that? Why did you have to tell me after the fact?

I guess it's just as well though...

self

 

[Fallenfromgrace]

Dear P,

Allow me the essence of just this moment,

So that I may kiss you through the glass.

<3

 

[Misty_Morning]

Dear P,

Allow me the essence of just this moment,

So that I may kiss you through the glass.

<3

Dear N,


Shatter the glass and my heart

Take what you will

In return, leave a piece of yourself

My make soul more than whole

 

[angelicminx]

Dear life,

Honestly, I've had enough shit dropped on me to last several lifetimes. How about some roses every once in awhile?

 

[Lee Chambers]

Dear "Friends",

It's time you learned something. I'm very generous and giving to my friends, but I have my fucking limits.

First off, to D&C, my longtime friends that I still remained friends with the four years that D was in the Marine Corps and I got to see him MAYBE once a few hours every year when he came home.

Do you have no consideration whatsoever? I'm home less than five minutes and you call me up wanting me to help you drag your brand new, 42" plasma tv to your upstairs apartment? What's that? You're JUST NOW leaving Best Buy with the fucking TV. So you've already bought it and assumed that I'm more than happy to help you. What? You have to be to work in about thirty-five minutes? So you can't cruise around and wait until I'd had a GODDAMNED SHOWER AND EATEN MY FUCKING DINNER!?

It was kind of you to offer to buy me dinner after it was all over. Too bad that I had made plans the previous night to go spend some time with my other friends - and yes, despite the fact that you may have trouble believing it since we've been friends since eight grade, I do have other friends. But because of your selfish inconsideration to ME, I had to put my plans on hold for more than an hour to help you. Yes, I do intend to hold you to your offer of a free dinner the next time we're together. No, I won't be coming over for dinner anytime soon.

To my "co-worker". First off, I don't want to spend time with you. I find you damn annoying at times and the last two times we've hung out together outside of work has been boring as fuck and a waste of my time.

Secondly, do you lack any kind of tact whatsoever? I tell you about my plans with my friends (mentioned above) and how we were getting together to play some video games for a few hours and suddenly you want me to invite all of them over to YOUR house so we can all play games together.

My OTHER friends DO NOT KNOW YOU. Let's settle that point first off.

My OTHER friends MAY HAVE PLANS for the fucking weekend that *I* don't know about.

My OTHER friends MAY NOT WANT TO COME TO THE HOUSE OF A STRANGE PERSON THEY'VE NEVER FUCKING MET.

So then you say "We'll just bring yourself and I'll invite some people over."

I say "I have stuff to do this weekend."

You say "Not at night!"

I say "You don't know that!"

You say "Well it can't be anything important, it's at night!"

WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? Why in the name of almighty mother fucking God above should I have to justify what I want to do on a weekend to YOU!? What I do with my fucking time is none of your fucking business! I don't care of I'm sitting bare assed naked on the couch with my fucking finger up my nose watching old episodes of Jerry Whoring Springer. IT'S STILL NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!

AND WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO SAY THAT THE THINGS I DO IN MY SPARE TIME AREN'T IMPORTANT!? WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO IMPLY THAT THE THINGS I DO, THE HOBBIES THAT I ENJOY, ARE NOT AS IMPORTANT AS COMING OVER TO YOUR FUCKING HOUSE TO ENTERTAIN YOU AND YOUR KIDS PLAYING VIDEO GAMES THAT I GOT TIRED OF A YEAR AND A HALF AGO (read: Halo 2).

TO ALL MY FUCKING "FRIENDS" THIS IS WHY I'M NOT ANSWERING ANY OF YOUR FUCKING CALLS THIS WEEKEND!! THIS IS WHY YOU ARE ALL ON MY FUCKING SHIT LIST UNTIL I SAY OTHERWISE!! HAVE SOME GOD DAMNED CONSIDERATION FOR ME BEFORE YOU MAKE FUCKING DECISIONS THAT INCLUDE ME OR MAKE IGNORANT, BLANKET STATEMENTS ABOUT MY FUCKING LIFE!!

Lee, mother fucker

 

[Lee Chambers]

Dear Cloudy,

I've never realized how much this thread can help work out the frustrations of life until now. Thank you for starting this thread.

Lee

 

[cloudy]

Dear Cloudy,

I've never realized how much this thread can help work out the frustrations of life until now. Thank you for starting this thread.

Lee

Dear Lee,

You're welcome.

Cloudy
~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear X,

Fuck you. I realize that in your mind there's no rush whatsoever, but for me and the seven-year-old I drive around daily, it needed to happen like last week.

Do you realize how torturous sitting in a car is when the temp is 101F, the heat index is topping 110F, and there's no air conditioning? You probably don't, but even if you did, I doubt you'd care. I absolutely fucking dare you to call me "selfish" just once more. You won't like the repercussions, I can promise you that.

I realize that you're expecting me to drive some piece of shit car that costs less than a third of what that precious motorcycle out in the garage cost, but here's a hint: IT AIN'T HAPPENING. If that's all we could afford, I'd be ok with it, but it's not, and I'm not. Have you forgotten that your son also rides in that car daily? Do you even care?

You've got about one more week to drag-ass around, and then I'm making no promises as to the safety of said motorcycle. Have you forgotten my name's on the title, too? Oooh, bad move, darling. Very bad.

As it is, you can forget dinner for a good long time. I'm on strike, asshole.

Cloudy

 

[tickledkitty]

Dear X,

Fuck you. I realize that in your mind there's no rush whatsoever, but for me and the seven-year-old I drive around daily, it needed to happen like last week.

Do you realize how torturous sitting in a car is when the temp is 101F, the heat index is topping 110F, and there's no air conditioning? You probably don't, but even if you did, I doubt you'd care. I absolutely fucking dare you to call me "selfish" just once more. You won't like the repercussions, I can promise you that.

I realize that you're expecting me to drive some piece of shit car that costs less than a third of what that precious motorcycle out in the garage cost, but here's a hint: IT AIN'T HAPPENING. If that's all we could afford, I'd be ok with it, but it's not, and I'm not. Have you forgotten that your son also rides in that car daily? Do you even care?

You've got about one more week to drag-ass around, and then I'm making no promises as to the safety of said motorcycle. Have you forgotten my name's on the title, too? Oooh, bad move, darling. Very bad.

As it is, you can forget dinner for a good long time. I'm on strike, asshole.

Cloudy

Dear Cloudy,

I swear to God several of us here are married to the same man, or maybe they were multiples separated at birth. It truly amazes me.

A year ago I went through this very same thing. I begged. I cried. I bitched. I threatened. I cried some more. I worried that my car was going to stall on the freeway right in the middle of construction where there's no place to pull over and someone would come along and smack into me and hurt my baby or hurt me and leave her without a mother. Jesus. It upsets me to even think about it.

I threatened to leave, and he finally did buy the car, which I love, and has patted himself on the back for it every day since then. You'd think he bought me a Mercedes or something. I can't tell you how many times I've heard "Your paycheck is sitting out there in the driveway," or "Your birthday gift is sitting there in the driveway."

I'm sorry you have to go through this. I'm sorry you have to worry. I wouldn't wish it on anybody. I wish there was something I could do for you besides tell you I understand, and you're not alone.

 

[sutherngent985]

Dear Cloudy,

I swear to God several of us here are married to the same man, or maybe they were multiples separated at birth. It truly amazes me.

A year ago I went through this very same thing. I begged. I cried. I bitched. I threatened. I cried some more. I worried that my car was going to stall on the freeway right in the middle of construction where there's no place to pull over and someone would come along and smack into me and hurt my baby or hurt me and leave her without a mother. Jesus. It upsets me to even think about it.

I threatened to leave, and he finally did buy the car, which I love, and has patted himself on the back for it every day since then. You'd think he bought me a Mercedes or something. I can't tell you how many times I've heard "Your paycheck is sitting out there in the driveway," or "Your birthday gift is sitting there in the driveway."

I'm sorry you have to go through this. I'm sorry you have to worry. I wouldn't wish it on anybody. I wish there was something I could do for you besides tell you I understand, and you're not alone.

Could someone try to explain why men act like this? Im a man and I dont understand it...you gals sure shouldnt be expected to.

A friends ex...they were talking about getting back together...would tell her "We can take it out in trade" when she needed something. Now to me thats just wrong...why would you treat someone whom you are trying to make a relationship with like that?

 

[cloudy]

s'allright...I just got through placing an ad for said motorcycle in the paper.

 

[sutherngent985]

s'allright...I just got through placing an ad for said motorcycle in the paper.

WTG Cloudy...

 

[cloudy]

Dear Cloudy,

I swear to God several of us here are married to the same man, or maybe they were multiples separated at birth. It truly amazes me.

A year ago I went through this very same thing. I begged. I cried. I bitched. I threatened. I cried some more. I worried that my car was going to stall on the freeway right in the middle of construction where there's no place to pull over and someone would come along and smack into me and hurt my baby or hurt me and leave her without a mother. Jesus. It upsets me to even think about it.

I threatened to leave, and he finally did buy the car, which I love, and has patted himself on the back for it every day since then. You'd think he bought me a Mercedes or something. I can't tell you how many times I've heard "Your paycheck is sitting out there in the driveway," or "Your birthday gift is sitting there in the driveway."

I'm sorry you have to go through this. I'm sorry you have to worry. I wouldn't wish it on anybody. I wish there was something I could do for you besides tell you I understand, and you're not alone.

I would expect some drag-assing around if I was wanting an new car, but I just want something fairly recent that fucking works.

His comment today was along the lines of "We only owe eight payments on that car, and you want to trade it in for five more years of payments?"

Yes, that's exactly what I expect, you dipshit. He makes damn good money. It's not like we can't afford it, and I expect I'll get the car eventually, he's just dragging it out as long as he can.

S'okay. Like I said, I've already placed an ad for the motorcycle in the paper (my name's on the title too), and I can certainly hold out a helluva lot longer in the hostility game than he can.

Already told him to find some other way to get our son back and forth to school. I refuse to drive anymore.