Dear X:

[Chantilyvamp]

dear x

seriously can i have just a few moments...i dont want to be rushed as i dont want to go out really

 

[Guest]

dear vana

i'm dragging your depressed but wickedly sexy arse out of the house today. the tickets are booked and table is reserved for lunch. whether you want to or not. you have to come with. youre not cancelling on me. don't make me take out the hand cufffs. thats your job. dont make me go all domme on you. thats your job too


your bestest friend who doesnt want you to be depressed
jessi

 

[impressive]

Dear AHers,

You are so incredibly generous. I you all!

Group hug,

~ Imp

 

[Just-Legal]

dear x

seriously can i have just a few moments...i dont want to be rushed as i dont want to go out really

*hugs*

Also

*grouphugs Imp*

 

[iamthemac]

Dear Grief

Its nearly been a month now shouldn't you be here now messing with my head.

Dear Flat

Please stop getting cluttered up im still going to move anyway.

Dear Ciggerettes

leave me alone please.

 

[cloudy]

Dear X,

How dare you slam the door in our son's face...he's only seven, for fuck's sake. All he did was wake you up, and tell you to go get in the bed because you were snoring so fucking loud he couldn't hear the tv. You left him sobbing, you fuckwad.

I hope you go to hell, and soon.

~ Cloudy

 

[Nirvanadragones]

Dear Imp

I'm going to have to prepare myself somehow for this Implessness I will experience for three days. You're a lifeline. I just wanted you to know this.

Vana

 

[Fallenfromgrace]

Dear Jessi and Vana,

Please inform your little angels in advance that your friend Grace can't wrap for shit.

Thank You

Me.

 

[FallingToFly]

Dear X:

I will not fall in love with anyone ever again, so you don't have to get all nervous, k?

But damn, we have fun! And I miss you when you aren't around.

The flutterbug

 

[Just-Legal]

Dear Love

Stop being pissy, its not my fault. I know you're in pain, but taking it out on me is not ok.

Me.

 

[slyc_willie]

Dear Sweetheart;

I want you.

Now.

--Me

 

[MagicaPractica]

Dear P,

I still think about you from time to time, even though it's been nearly a year since we said good-bye. I wonder how you are and if you ever think of me. The time we had together was wonderful for me and not something I'll ever forget. I sometimes wonder if it meant as much to you. You stimulated my mind and made me feel special. I hope that you are doing well, wherever you are.

~ M

 

[GentleSub_Ivy]

Dear X,

I know you are a dream, but I need you so desperately.

Please give me just a little glimpse of heaven when you get a chance.

 

[Nirvanadragones]

Dear Depression,

Why can't you keep away even for one moment? I've been coping, over the past few months. I thought because I have been taking care of myself, you had vanished. But of course I was wrong.

The last few weeks have been like being in my own personal hell. There have been moments, when I thought that the light would surely stay, but strangely, found myself far away - disembodied from it all.

You've kept me awake for weeks. You don't allow me sleep. Last night was one of the worst wakeful nights I can remember. And today when I tried to find balance, you kept whispering deceptions in my ear, telling me that no matter what I did, I would not find solace from this absolute agony I am feeling.

I am tired of fighting with you. I can't keep believing that you're not good for me. I'm making room for you and you will stay here with me and torture me dry, make me so selfishly needy and dependant on other people for support, make me shift from tears to anger and then back to despair again, bringing me closer to the end than I have ever been.

I have broken sacred promises to myself. With every moment I embrace you, I am being untrue to myself. And I know it will continue to happen. Who really cares if I'm letting myself down? I'm not disappointing anyone but myself.

And I will remind myself of how selfish I have become, how scared I am of loosing those who never get tired of giving. Because surely they are not getting anything in return from me in my state of agony.

And then I am reminded of the empty promises of you can always count on me and I'll always be there for you. It means nothing in this emptiness I live.

What does tonight bring? In the darkness you will pour awful poisons into my thoughts and dreams. You will convince me, once again that I'm not good enough. I'm not enough. I don't matter. I've never matter. Nothing matters.

All the things I have believed since childhood still remain with me, and you will emphasise that with your consistent rot dripping over my soul.

I just want the pain to end. I just want to be able to feel without hurting. And when the numb greyness takes over, then I fight to feel anything - anything at all. But right now, the pain is too much. I can't, anymore. I just want to be able to be, without feeling like I'm crumbling. I just want to be able to cope. I have to find a way of coping. How do I do it? Baby steps . . . one breath at a time. One moment at a time. Push away the suicidal thoughts for one more minute. Then another. And another. Cope on my own. Because that's what I am. Alone.

What do I do with my feelings? Where do I go? Where can I find sanctuary? I speak the words to those who I think understand. I listen for meaning. I wait, and be quiet, and try to find comfort in anything I can. And still, the gnawing feeling sits with me - you're only concerning those who really care. They shouldn't have to be concerned about me. I'm not a child. Yet, I am struggling to hold on to the last vestiges of normalcy. I am clinging stubbornly to things I no longer believe in. I hope on promises made when my world was still whole.

I have no control over you. Is it my fault ? Did I let you in? Are you laughing at me? Am I insane, to have thought that I could actually control you - just snap out of you?

I have tried to live in denial of you, but I cannot do that much longer. I am so, so tired right now, tired of trying and tired of living.

Please just leave me alone. Just let me go. Please just let me go.

 

[rgraham666]

*HUGS*

Sending strength and much love your way.

Tried to PM but your box is full.

 

[Just-Legal]

Dear Depression,

Why can't you keep away even for one moment? I've been coping, over the past few months. I thought because I have been taking care of myself, you had vanished. But of course I was wrong.

The last few weeks have been like being in my own personal hell. There have been moments, when I thought that the light would surely stay, but strangely, found myself far away - disembodied from it all.

You've kept me awake for weeks. You don't allow me sleep. Last night was one of the worst wakeful nights I can remember. And today when I tried to find balance, you kept whispering deceptions in my ear, telling me that no matter what I did, I would not find solace from this absolute agony I am feeling.

I am tired of fighting with you. I can't keep believing that you're not good for me. I'm making room for you and you will stay here with me and torture me dry, make me so selfishly needy and dependant on other people for support, make me shift from tears to anger and then back to despair again, bringing me closer to the end than I have ever been.

I have broken sacred promises to myself. With every moment I embrace you, I am being untrue to myself. And I know it will continue to happen. Who really cares if I'm letting myself down? I'm not disappointing anyone but myself.

And I will remind myself of how selfish I have become, how scared I am of loosing those who never get tired of giving. Because surely they are not getting anything in return from me in my state of agony.

And then I am reminded of the empty promises of you can always count on me and I'll always be there for you. It means nothing in this emptiness I live.

What does tonight bring? In the darkness you will pour awful poisons into my thoughts and dreams. You will convince me, once again that I'm not good enough. I'm not enough. I don't matter. I've never matter. Nothing matters.

All the things I have believed since childhood still remain with me, and you will emphasise that with your consistent rot dripping over my soul.

I just want the pain to end. I just want to be able to feel without hurting. And when the numb greyness takes over, then I fight to feel anything - anything at all. But right now, the pain is too much. I can't, anymore. I just want to be able to be, without feeling like I'm crumbling. I just want to be able to cope. I have to find a way of coping. How do I do it? Baby steps . . . one breath at a time. One moment at a time. Push away the suicidal thoughts for one more minute. Then another. And another. Cope on my own. Because that's what I am. Alone.

What do I do with my feelings? Where do I go? Where can I find sanctuary? I speak the words to those who I think understand. I listen for meaning. I wait, and be quiet, and try to find comfort in anything I can. And still, the gnawing feeling sits with me - you're only concerning those who really care. They shouldn't have to be concerned about me. I'm not a child. Yet, I am struggling to hold on to the last vestiges of normalcy. I am clinging stubbornly to things I no longer believe in. I hope on promises made when my world was still whole.

I have no control over you. Is it my fault ? Did I let you in? Are you laughing at me? Am I insane, to have thought that I could actually control you - just snap out of you?

I have tried to live in denial of you, but I cannot do that much longer. I am so, so tired right now, tired of trying and tired of living.

Please just leave me alone. Just let me go. Please just let me go.

Oh Vana love... *sends as much strength as she can spare*

--

Dear S

You might not realise it, but what you said today probably saved me from something I can't go back to.

"Fuck *that*, you're one of the strongest people I know."

Thank you.

 

[scheherazade_79]

Dear Vana's Depression,

Please fuck off, or you'll have me to deal with, and I can be quite formidable once I get my wild up.

Zade


Dear Vana,

The people who love you don't expect anything back, because they just love you and who you are, and nothing can ever change that.

Also bear in mind that even a lottery jackpot, or finding an ounce of weed in the middle of the street can seem shit when you haven't had enough sleep.

Not sleeping tonight isn't an option, because I'm kidnapping you and taking you over to my bed. It's a single at the moment, so I'm afraid you'll have to sleep in my arms. Damn!

But my parents are away, and you can come into the greenhouse with me out of the rain, and smoke some silver haze. Then we're going to play Ready Steady Cook with what's in the fridge and the cupboards

I love you loads and loads and I'm never going to stop trying to cheer you up... and in the Battle of Depression V. Zade's Persistance, my money's on Zade's Persistance every time.

Hugging you right through the night, and I'll call in sick and carry on hugging you tomorrow, too. Don't forget, you still have a lifetime's supply of Zade hugs to get through

Zade

 

[starrkers]

Dear Zade

You are the type of friend we all need sometimes. The type who won't take no for an answer. All strength to you in your quest.

Yours
A little Lit body on the wrong side of the world

 

[Chantilyvamp]

Dear Vana,

Like rob said the box was full so I'm putting it here.

Tonight I want to send you light and sleep vibes. I'm sorry for all the pain you are in and wish I could help you with it.

I know nothing I could say atm may help but I'll send you a giant hug and a soft kiss.



P

 

[MagicaPractica]

What do I do with my feelings? Where do I go? Where can I find sanctuary? I speak the words to those who I think understand. I listen for meaning. I wait, and be quiet, and try to find comfort in anything I can. And still, the gnawing feeling sits with me - you're only concerning those who really care. They shouldn't have to be concerned about me. I'm not a child. Yet, I am struggling to hold on to the last vestiges of normalcy. I am clinging stubbornly to things I no longer believe in. I hope on promises made when my world was still whole.

I have no control over you. Is it my fault ? Did I let you in? Are you laughing at me? Am I insane, to have thought that I could actually control you - just snap out of you?

I have tried to live in denial of you, but I cannot do that much longer. I am so, so tired right now, tired of trying and tired of living.

Please just leave me alone. Just let me go. Please just let me go.

We're here to hold you and fight it with you and live for the moments of light. I'm sorry it isn't possible for all of us to actually be there physically, but know that when Zade puts her arms around you, there are many more holding tight as well, trying to sap away a little of the pain.

 

[FallingToFly]

Dear Depression,

Why can't you keep away even for one moment? I've been coping, over the past few months. I thought because I have been taking care of myself, you had vanished. But of course I was wrong.

The last few weeks have been like being in my own personal hell. There have been moments, when I thought that the light would surely stay, but strangely, found myself far away - disembodied from it all.

You've kept me awake for weeks. You don't allow me sleep. Last night was one of the worst wakeful nights I can remember. And today when I tried to find balance, you kept whispering deceptions in my ear, telling me that no matter what I did, I would not find solace from this absolute agony I am feeling.

I am tired of fighting with you. I can't keep believing that you're not good for me. I'm making room for you and you will stay here with me and torture me dry, make me so selfishly needy and dependant on other people for support, make me shift from tears to anger and then back to despair again, bringing me closer to the end than I have ever been.

I have broken sacred promises to myself. With every moment I embrace you, I am being untrue to myself. And I know it will continue to happen. Who really cares if I'm letting myself down? I'm not disappointing anyone but myself.

And I will remind myself of how selfish I have become, how scared I am of loosing those who never get tired of giving. Because surely they are not getting anything in return from me in my state of agony.

And then I am reminded of the empty promises of you can always count on me and I'll always be there for you. It means nothing in this emptiness I live.

What does tonight bring? In the darkness you will pour awful poisons into my thoughts and dreams. You will convince me, once again that I'm not good enough. I'm not enough. I don't matter. I've never matter. Nothing matters.

All the things I have believed since childhood still remain with me, and you will emphasise that with your consistent rot dripping over my soul.

I just want the pain to end. I just want to be able to feel without hurting. And when the numb greyness takes over, then I fight to feel anything - anything at all. But right now, the pain is too much. I can't, anymore. I just want to be able to be, without feeling like I'm crumbling. I just want to be able to cope. I have to find a way of coping. How do I do it? Baby steps . . . one breath at a time. One moment at a time. Push away the suicidal thoughts for one more minute. Then another. And another. Cope on my own. Because that's what I am. Alone.

What do I do with my feelings? Where do I go? Where can I find sanctuary? I speak the words to those who I think understand. I listen for meaning. I wait, and be quiet, and try to find comfort in anything I can. And still, the gnawing feeling sits with me - you're only concerning those who really care. They shouldn't have to be concerned about me. I'm not a child. Yet, I am struggling to hold on to the last vestiges of normalcy. I am clinging stubbornly to things I no longer believe in. I hope on promises made when my world was still whole.

I have no control over you. Is it my fault ? Did I let you in? Are you laughing at me? Am I insane, to have thought that I could actually control you - just snap out of you?

I have tried to live in denial of you, but I cannot do that much longer. I am so, so tired right now, tired of trying and tired of living.

Please just leave me alone. Just let me go. Please just let me go.

Vana:

I love you. In joy and sorrow, in pain and in pleasure, you are one of the most beautiful people I have ever come into contact with. Please don't give up.

FtF

 

[Fallenfromgrace]

Vana, im sending you lots of rest, lots of love and lots of light.

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

*hugs* for vana

 

[Guest]

Dear Depression,

Why can't you keep away even for one moment? I've been coping, over the past few months. I thought because I have been taking care of myself, you had vanished. But of course I was wrong.

The last few weeks have been like being in my own personal hell. There have been moments, when I thought that the light would surely stay, but strangely, found myself far away - disembodied from it all.

You've kept me awake for weeks. You don't allow me sleep. Last night was one of the worst wakeful nights I can remember. And today when I tried to find balance, you kept whispering deceptions in my ear, telling me that no matter what I did, I would not find solace from this absolute agony I am feeling.

I am tired of fighting with you. I can't keep believing that you're not good for me. I'm making room for you and you will stay here with me and torture me dry, make me so selfishly needy and dependant on other people for support, make me shift from tears to anger and then back to despair again, bringing me closer to the end than I have ever been.

I have broken sacred promises to myself. With every moment I embrace you, I am being untrue to myself. And I know it will continue to happen. Who really cares if I'm letting myself down? I'm not disappointing anyone but myself.

And I will remind myself of how selfish I have become, how scared I am of loosing those who never get tired of giving. Because surely they are not getting anything in return from me in my state of agony.

And then I am reminded of the empty promises of you can always count on me and I'll always be there for you. It means nothing in this emptiness I live.

What does tonight bring? In the darkness you will pour awful poisons into my thoughts and dreams. You will convince me, once again that I'm not good enough. I'm not enough. I don't matter. I've never matter. Nothing matters.

All the things I have believed since childhood still remain with me, and you will emphasise that with your consistent rot dripping over my soul.

I just want the pain to end. I just want to be able to feel without hurting. And when the numb greyness takes over, then I fight to feel anything - anything at all. But right now, the pain is too much. I can't, anymore. I just want to be able to be, without feeling like I'm crumbling. I just want to be able to cope. I have to find a way of coping. How do I do it? Baby steps . . . one breath at a time. One moment at a time. Push away the suicidal thoughts for one more minute. Then another. And another. Cope on my own. Because that's what I am. Alone.

What do I do with my feelings? Where do I go? Where can I find sanctuary? I speak the words to those who I think understand. I listen for meaning. I wait, and be quiet, and try to find comfort in anything I can. And still, the gnawing feeling sits with me - you're only concerning those who really care. They shouldn't have to be concerned about me. I'm not a child. Yet, I am struggling to hold on to the last vestiges of normalcy. I am clinging stubbornly to things I no longer believe in. I hope on promises made when my world was still whole.

I have no control over you. Is it my fault ? Did I let you in? Are you laughing at me? Am I insane, to have thought that I could actually control you - just snap out of you?

I have tried to live in denial of you, but I cannot do that much longer. I am so, so tired right now, tired of trying and tired of living.

Please just leave me alone. Just let me go. Please just let me go.

*endless hugs* sweetheart

i love you. i'm here for you and always by your side.

 

[deathlynx]

*more hugs and snuggles for Vana!* You are a wonderful person!