Dear X,

[CWatson]

Dear ex,

I saved your pictures. You know, the ones we traded when I was away on business. (Sorry I couldn't get a really good one to send back to you, by the way: it's hard to operate a phone and ejaculate at the same time.)

Before you get up in a tizzy, I solemnly swear that I will not publicize them. They are hidden in a corner of my computer under a misleading file name, and there's nothing about them to identify you personally. Anyone who came across them would know them for what they are--mementos from a previous relationship--but wouldn't be able to recognize you from them. And why would I spread them around? Sure, if I was angry at you or whatever, but I'm not. I mean, we're still friends--and I would never do that to a friend.

They're a fond reminder of a time in my life I will always be glad of. We weren't right for each other in the long run, but you pulled me from my shell and broadened my horizons. You were a great girlfriend and an even better friend, and for that I will always be grateful.

love,
~C


(PS but yes, one actually IS smaller than the other. )

 

[Christopher2012]

Dear 512,

You are the worst number in the world. I'm WAY more scared of you than I am of the number 666. You haunt me day and night. Ironically, you make many other people VERY happy.

Why are you so cruel, 512? You're a sly one. You're sneaky... and I can NEVER figure you out.

Sincerely,
Chris

 

[imemkay]

Dear Ye of Little Faith,

And you thought I couldn't figure it out - shame on you!

It is a little scary though, that I know you so well.

Go forth, and be chill as fuck!

Yours,
MK

 

[NightL]

you have looked out for so many over these years
I hope someone is looking out for you
you have guided so many in their quest for love
with wisdom beyond your years
I hope someone is looking out for you
your touch radiates beyond to so many more
a glow of love, warmth and care

May 2013 bring you joys never dreamed possible

 

[Christopher2012]

MK

View attachment 1163268

 

[imemkay]

View attachment 1163268

Weak!

 

[Lord Pmann]

Dear 2012,

Thanks for her *points to Rainshine*. I don't think I could be luckier.

Sincerely,

Pmann

 

[Miles Long]

Dear X,

Y?

Zzzzzz

 

[Saucyminx]

Dear Verizon,

Your customer service support phone line is an abomination and you should be horsewhipped through the town square for even calling it "support". The 35 min I was on hold, the second time, had me thinking some very homicidal thoughts.

Your saving grace is your technicians. He was polite, friendly, sweet, and very easy on the eyes.

a slightly less irritated customer

 

[Lord Pmann]

Dear Niklas Zennstrom and Janus Friis,

Thanks a million. You made 2012 a great year for us.

Cheers,

Pmann

 

[imemkay]

Dear 2012,

You were a good year. New job, some new friends, happy times with family and old friends. Heck, I'll even thank you for what I shall charitably refer to as "learning experiences".

Here's hoping the trend continues in 2013!!

MK

 

[bluebomber]

Dear X

PLEASE start the New Year off with a BANG

Yours Truly, BB

 

[Lord Pmann]

Dear Self,

You laugh at some inappropriate things. Most don't understand. But they can suck goat scrote.

Sincerely,

Pmann

 

[Saucyminx]

Dear Self,

You laugh at some inappropriate things. Most don't understand. But they can suck goat scrote.

Sincerely,

Pmann

Dear Pmann,

Thank you. I was in need of a new motto for 2013--I think you just supplied it.

"They can suck goat scrote"

Words to live by.

With gratitude,
Minxy

 

[Lord Pmann]

Dear Brunch,

I genuinely hate everything about you.

Grrrrrr,

Pmann

 

[EbersMoll]

Dear Lit-Friends,

Sorry for my protracted absence from here. Life has bowled a couple of health related curved-balls at some older relatives of mine and so I am attempting to sort things out.

Once I have things on an even keel I do intend to spend more time with you.

In the meantime, I do very much hope you are all well.

TTFN,

EM

 

[Christopher2012]

Dear Person who I Play Borderlands 2 with:

Quit fucking around and get on XBOX LIVE.

Thanks,
Chris

 

[EllaPure]

Dear X,

Attempting to hack my email? Are you that fucking desperate for information? There’s a limit to how low someone should allow themselves to sink…you’re scraping the bottom of the barrel. You are completely fucked up and pathetic…anyone who would go as far as to try and hack an email…fucked in the head. What did you hope to find - were you hoping for something salacious and dirty?

That email was never used (better luck next time)…but I did figure out how you connected it to me (nice post stalking skills) - I won’t make that mistake again. You’re like a Chihuahua with a tampon. Don’t try and end run me…you won’t win. If you have something to say or ask – fucking put your big girl panties on and PM me. I have a life to live and I don’t have time for your weak minded, mamby-pamby, passive-aggressive bullshit. I'm tired of playing nice....

Me

 

[imemkay]

Dear Self,

The next time you decide to put our foot on a chair to tie our shoe, please make sure said chair does not have wheels. Chairs with wheels tend to roll, thereby forcing us into a split. Is it possible to be clumsy and agile all at once?

Klutzy yet surprisingly flexible,
Me

 

[Lion_Roar]

Dear New Years Resolutioners at my gym,

I applaud you for wanting to live a healthier life, but I am not amused that my routine now takes two hours instead of a little over one hour. The place is literally swarming with you all.

-Lion

 

[NippleMuncher]

Dear Klutzy yet surprisingly flexible:

Flexibility is never something one wants to test suddenly!

Regards,
Your Hammies

Dear New Years Resolutioners at my gym, The place is literally swarming with you all.

Dear Swarmed:

Don't worry, next week will be back to normal.

 

[imemkay]

Dear Klutzy yet surprisingly flexible:

Flexibility is never something one wants to test suddenly!

Regards,
Your Hammies

Dear NM

You are correct, but it was oh so funny!

MK

 

[NippleMuncher]

Dear NM

You are correct, but it was oh so funny!

MK

At least you weren't hurt.

I can't even sit in an "L", my hammies are quite vocal about that! LOL

 

[Lord Pmann]

Dear X,

I hope you find that as amusing as I do. I seriously do.

Cheers,

Pmann

 

[Lord Pmann]

Dear X,

Just breathe.

Yours,

Pmann