Dear X,

[Miles Long]

Dear Vacation,

I need you.

Miles

 

[Miles Long]

Dear Influenza,

Chill the fuck out for a few days so we can go get this surgery over with.

Thanks,
A Man Who Misses His Bed

 

[heavyhitter01]

Dear Amtrak,

Thank you for creating Acela Express. They have made these last few weeks much more bearable.

With appreciation,
NYC bound

 

[Steel_n_Silk]

Dear Winter Cold Air,
Why must you rake your nails along my flesh and nip at me with your teeth in a mockery of a lovers touch?
signed,
Sunlover

 

[imemkay]

Dear Parents of the girl who ran face first into a fence while sledding,

Next time try not to wait 5 hours before seeking medical attention. I know you had dinner plans and all, but really? You are parents, the priority is your child, not your dinner companions.

---------------------
Dear Parents of the girl with the broken hand,

This will take however long it takes. Don't try to rush us because you have tickets to a show. Priorities people!

When I think of all the people in the world who desperately want children but can't get pregnant, who would make wonderful parents, and then I see parents like you - well let's just say it pisses me off!!

Grow up!

 

[Christopher2012]

Dear Chris,

How are drunk you are?

Sincerely
Chris

 

[NightL]

Dear young house guest, I know I said on Friday night help yourself to the bottle of wine I had opened and left in the refrigerator door, but I didn't expect to come in at the end of the day on Saturday to find you had opened THAT bottle of not so cheap wine leaving me only one glass. I had to purchase another for my dinner date. Coming home from my evening I find you have been now helping yourself to my black label.

hmmm

 

[BeachMomma]

Dear State Board of Nursing,

I need 24 Continuing Education credits every two years to renew my license. I have accumulated 405 hours in the past year alone. May I please roll those hours over into future license renewal periods? I'd be up to date until I reach the age of 88. Thank you kindly!

Yours truly,
Exhausted RN and nursing student.

 

[Eilan]

Dear Student,

Telling me that you might have to leave the room during class because of a medical problem is more than sufficient. It's really not necessary to describe your bowel movements in such excruciating detail.

 

[Steel_n_Silk]

Dear Stranger,

I wish you wouldn't have run off so quickly! I was so overwhelmed by the gorgeous bouquet of flowers I didn't really get to say thank you! I wish you could know how you make my day!

with hugs,
High&Smiling

 

[Miles Long]

Dear Work Computer,

Whenever we go out and about, you do a great job of connecting to our mobile hot spot jet pack. It doesn't seem to matter where we go, you always connect right up and stay linked so I can connect to the company's network. So tell me... why the FUCK do you not want to connect to any internet when we're at home? I get it. You don't want to work at home, and guess what - NEITHER THE FUCK DO I! But when you refuse to connect all you do is drag it out for both of us. If you would just act normal, we'd be done in no time. So chill the fuck out and JUST WORK.

Yours in Jesus fucking Christ,
Miles

 

[pplwatching]

Dear Rainshine,

I think you pick the bestest AVs.

ppl

 

[pplwatching]

Thank you! Would you like me to pick one for you?

Gosh, I've been unadorned for all of these years. What would the neighbors say?

 

[NippleMuncher]

Gosh, I've been unadorned for all of these years. What would the neighbors say?

The neighbors would say, put some damn clothes on, would ya!

I see you with something along the lines of one of these:

http://rlv.zcache.com/eyeballs_eyes_watching_everyone_postcards-p239179311151909595en7lo_152.jpg
http://rlv.zcache.com/eyeballs_eyes_watching_everyone_postcards-p239179311151909595en7lo_152.jpg


http://rlv.zcache.ca/eye_glasses_fake_nose_moustache_disguise_tshirt-r1bf490a0a2134fb6964d6b667c551968_804gy_512.jpg
http://rlv.zcache.ca/eye_glasses_fa...bf490a0a2134fb6964d6b667c551968_804gy_512.jpg

 

[BeachMomma]

Dear Bully,

If you want me to do something for you, I'll be more than happy to oblige. If you insist upon behaving like a fucking asshole of a bully, however, please consider the fact that I'll nail you with a very large snowball in hell before I'll help you. Remember when your mom used to tell you that you'll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar? She was right. I strongly encourage you to remember that in the future - maybe you'll want to have it tattooed on your forehead as a gentle reminder.

Please regain control of yourself, apologize for losing control, and ask me nicely if you want me to reconsider my position on the subject. Until that point? You're shit out of luck, my friend. *sweet smile*

Sincerely,

The lady who has more attitude than you'll ever have but is too professional to show it.

PS. Be glad you aren't in jail right now. I was all set to let security deal with your sorry ass. Being assaulted by family members simply isn't in my pay scale. Both security and the local boys in blue have "deal with assholes" on the first line of their job descriptions, and they don't take kindly to nurses being abused either.

Have a lovely day.

 

[Miles Long]

Dear Genitals,

High five!

 

[NightL]

Dear Genitals,

High five!

haha
So you have five?
Standing to a 5" salute?
Or just giving it a good ol' slap?

actually the only one I would be intrigued about is if you had five

 

[imemkay]

Dear Verizon,

Thank you for free Verizon to Verizon calls.
One thousand hours would be very expensive, otherwise.

Yours,
D.O.C.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Dear Sleep,

I don't even miss you. I certainly am not allowed to complain even if I did.

Cheers,

Pmann

 

[imemkay]

Dear Pharm.D.

You don't have a heavy accent, but you do have an accent. As a matter of fact, it's pretty hard to hide when you say the word "accent". The words "want" and "oil" - dead give away and you know it.

Now, I'm not accusing you of anything here, but it seems to me it would be pretty easy to lose said accent if you're trying to prove you don't have one.

Any responses you get via PM don't count. I want to see the responses on the thread! .

Your Drug of Choice

 

[Lord Pmann]

Dear Louis CK,

You are awesome. Please come to My state.

Cheers,

Pmann

 

[Christopher2012]

Dear Louis CK,

You are awesome. Please come to My state.

Cheers,

Pmann

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TG4f9zR5yzY

 

[supershy_J9]

Dear former bosses,

I see with the new structure, I now outrank you in position. Don't worry, I will be sure to treat you with as much respect and kindness as you treated me with when I worked for both of you.

Respectfully,
Your new boss

 

[heavyhitter01]

Dear Grown-up Girl,

I had an important lunch meeting today. That quirky young man of yours stuttered and stumbled his way through a speech that obviously meant the world to him. When he finally got the words out, he was shaking.

I asked him: "Are you scared?"

He said: "Yes, sir. I am. Because I know that no matter what you say, I am going to marry her anyway, and it would be a great relief if you would save us both the trouble and just say it's okay."

I laughed out loud. What else could I say?

Love,
Dad

 

[NightL]

Dear Self

stop asking stupid questions - you may get answers that hurts your brain