Dear X,
- Thread starter BlueSugar
- Start date
CWatson
Not in a band.
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2003
- Posts
- 1,653
Dear the-single-blonde-hair-that-was-on-my-bedspread-this-morning,
Why must you taunt me about my enduring singledom??
despair,
~me
PS. ...And where the heck did you come from? Is someone sneaking into my room to plant... I don't know anyone with hair in that color! (Except maybe MH, which is its own level of awkward since we're not attracted to each other and she's more-or-less engaged to someone else. And the last time she came to hang out was like January.)
What is going on in my life?!
Why must you taunt me about my enduring singledom??
despair,
~me
PS. ...And where the heck did you come from? Is someone sneaking into my room to plant... I don't know anyone with hair in that color! (Except maybe MH, which is its own level of awkward since we're not attracted to each other and she's more-or-less engaged to someone else. And the last time she came to hang out was like January.)
What is going on in my life?!
southernsky
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- May 10, 2005
- Posts
- 390
Dear X,
You still make me worked up when I think about the fabulous sex. I don't miss your whiny unemployed side, and I don't miss your inability to keep your life together, but I'm really fucking jealous of whoever you're tying to your bed lately. At least I was the one who introduced you to it all. You're welcome.
You still make me worked up when I think about the fabulous sex. I don't miss your whiny unemployed side, and I don't miss your inability to keep your life together, but I'm really fucking jealous of whoever you're tying to your bed lately. At least I was the one who introduced you to it all. You're welcome.
U
unregistered
Guest
jewelz_diamondz
Experienced
- Joined
- Apr 20, 2011
- Posts
- 73
Dear X,
Thanks for making feel dirty and not worth your time today...when all I wanted was to feel loved and understood.
Love, Me
Thanks for making feel dirty and not worth your time today...when all I wanted was to feel loved and understood.
Love, Me
Denae
Solitude's Muse
- Joined
- Mar 28, 2004
- Posts
- 6,061
and hugs. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.Dear X.
Thank you for calling it quits after 12 years together; you ripped my heart out, rolled over it, and handed me back a bloody pile of pulp. But now I'm free to live my life for myself without worryring you'll try to shame me into taking you back.
Thank you for cheating on me with your visiting nurse and then calling me three months after we broke up to confess this to me. Reliving the hurt just makes me realize how much of an insensitive jerk you really are.
Thank you for posting loads of religiously-themed saying and thoughts on your FB page. Too bad they all have to come from a status spinner program and you can't think them up yourself. While I"m truly happy at the thought that you may have found a place for religion, but based on what happened when we were together, it's too soon for me to believe you really mean what you say.
Thank you for being a hypocrite. Anytime I talked to a guy, be it a friend that we both knew, or a conversation with a collgue, you always thought that meant I was cheating on you. You knew I started going out of my way to not talk to any men I wasn't related to, and it still wasn't enough. And then to find out, you were getting it on with your married nurse. Classy.
~~~Your Ex~~~
Thank you for calling it quits after 12 years together; you ripped my heart out, rolled over it, and handed me back a bloody pile of pulp. But now I'm free to live my life for myself without worryring you'll try to shame me into taking you back.
Thank you for cheating on me with your visiting nurse and then calling me three months after we broke up to confess this to me. Reliving the hurt just makes me realize how much of an insensitive jerk you really are.
Thank you for posting loads of religiously-themed saying and thoughts on your FB page. Too bad they all have to come from a status spinner program and you can't think them up yourself. While I"m truly happy at the thought that you may have found a place for religion, but based on what happened when we were together, it's too soon for me to believe you really mean what you say.
Thank you for being a hypocrite. Anytime I talked to a guy, be it a friend that we both knew, or a conversation with a collgue, you always thought that meant I was cheating on you. You knew I started going out of my way to not talk to any men I wasn't related to, and it still wasn't enough. And then to find out, you were getting it on with your married nurse. Classy.
~~~Your Ex~~~
Eilan
Absent(ish)
- Joined
- Jan 24, 2005
- Posts
- 10,431
Dear X, First Week of School Edition
Dear Administrators,
What the hell were you people thinking?! You suck. And not in a good way. Our students didn't pay tuition for the "privilege" of sitting on the floor. I gave out your email addresses, and I hope your inboxes get flooded.
-----
Dear Someone's Mom,
I can already tell that I'm going to have trouble with you. Let's talk about FERPA, shall we?
-----
Dear A,
I'm so glad you dropped my class. I wasn't looking forward to dealing with you again. I'll be sure to warn my colleagues about you.
-----
Dear S,
No, I won't let you complete work from the course you failed last year. Try coming to class and lab next time.
-----
Dear H,
Where do you get off telling S that she should ask me to let her complete course requirements a full year after she should have done so? What kind of message does that send? The only way I'll even consider doing something like this is if the order comes from someone higher up the food chain than you are.
-----
Dear Office,
I'm so glad I don't have to share you.
-----
Dear B, G, W, B, D, and K,
I'm happy to see you in my class again. It's nice to see familiar faces. Have a great semester!
Dear Administrators,
What the hell were you people thinking?! You suck. And not in a good way. Our students didn't pay tuition for the "privilege" of sitting on the floor. I gave out your email addresses, and I hope your inboxes get flooded.
-----
Dear Someone's Mom,
I can already tell that I'm going to have trouble with you. Let's talk about FERPA, shall we?
-----
Dear A,
I'm so glad you dropped my class. I wasn't looking forward to dealing with you again. I'll be sure to warn my colleagues about you.
-----
Dear S,
No, I won't let you complete work from the course you failed last year. Try coming to class and lab next time.
-----
Dear H,
Where do you get off telling S that she should ask me to let her complete course requirements a full year after she should have done so? What kind of message does that send? The only way I'll even consider doing something like this is if the order comes from someone higher up the food chain than you are.
-----
Dear Office,
I'm so glad I don't have to share you.
-----
Dear B, G, W, B, D, and K,
I'm happy to see you in my class again. It's nice to see familiar faces. Have a great semester!
jewelz_diamondz
Experienced
- Joined
- Apr 20, 2011
- Posts
- 73
collar_corset
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Mar 2, 2009
- Posts
- 1,193
Dear X who's complaining about the 'hot weather' and wishing for snow (at the moment it's about 15 degrees)
Yeah, lets have snow, because the pensioners won't be getting as much for cold weather payments and us cripples don't get any. And my house is cool when it's 25 degrees outside it's so badly insulated so in the winter I can have the heat on full all day and still need to wear about 3 layers. And since the government blame the poor for the fuck up with the economy I sure as hell can't pay the £45 a week to keep the place warm and light.
But hey, as long as you're happy
Yeah, lets have snow, because the pensioners won't be getting as much for cold weather payments and us cripples don't get any. And my house is cool when it's 25 degrees outside it's so badly insulated so in the winter I can have the heat on full all day and still need to wear about 3 layers. And since the government blame the poor for the fuck up with the economy I sure as hell can't pay the £45 a week to keep the place warm and light.
But hey, as long as you're happy
L
littlebabyclit
Guest
Dear X,
I really don't know what you are any more to me... you certainly don't act like any kind of a normal-ish friend, even for just an online one. Often, you don't hold up your end of a conversation very well when you bother to be around. Things have evolved to that you're not even around enough to be an acquaintance, never mind a friend. Oh yeah, and friends do bother to keep in touch and actually write PM's if they can't be bothered to show up and chat. Oh, how I let you slide on that too many times already. And it's just plain fucking rude to not answer PM's so that's why I don't send you any, anymore.
You puzzle me just enough to keep thinking about you and wondering what the fuck you're about, but that's it. As standoffish as you are, anybody else but me probably would have cut ties months ago and never looked back. I like people I can really get to know. Like an idiot I keep thinking maybe I'll really get to know more about you but I know that's just me being absurd.
Confusing and sincerely confused,
LBC
Dear If-You-Exist God,
I am SO tired of trying to figure out this world and what I should do. So... very... tired. You DO know how bloody long this has been going on, right ? And what the fuck have You done to help me out with this...except pile more things into the fire to burn ?
Feel myself getting ready to crawl into a permanent hole and hide somewhere. For a very long time.
Your mostly-non-believing one,
Me
I really don't know what you are any more to me... you certainly don't act like any kind of a normal-ish friend, even for just an online one. Often, you don't hold up your end of a conversation very well when you bother to be around. Things have evolved to that you're not even around enough to be an acquaintance, never mind a friend. Oh yeah, and friends do bother to keep in touch and actually write PM's if they can't be bothered to show up and chat. Oh, how I let you slide on that too many times already. And it's just plain fucking rude to not answer PM's so that's why I don't send you any, anymore.
You puzzle me just enough to keep thinking about you and wondering what the fuck you're about, but that's it. As standoffish as you are, anybody else but me probably would have cut ties months ago and never looked back. I like people I can really get to know. Like an idiot I keep thinking maybe I'll really get to know more about you but I know that's just me being absurd.
Confusing and sincerely confused,
LBC
Dear If-You-Exist God,
I am SO tired of trying to figure out this world and what I should do. So... very... tired. You DO know how bloody long this has been going on, right ? And what the fuck have You done to help me out with this...except pile more things into the fire to burn ?
Feel myself getting ready to crawl into a permanent hole and hide somewhere. For a very long time.
Your mostly-non-believing one,
Me
SpiritRider
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2007
- Posts
- 726
Dear X,
Thank you for bringing her into my life.
Thank you for bringing her into my life.
thegoodwife
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2011
- Posts
- 120
Dear metabolism,
Where the hell did you go??? Seriously, my knee can't take the punishment of 3 miles every other day on the elliptical machine just to maintain & I still need to lose a 100 pounds.
Please, please, please come back to me!
Missing you,
TGW
Where the hell did you go??? Seriously, my knee can't take the punishment of 3 miles every other day on the elliptical machine just to maintain & I still need to lose a 100 pounds.
Please, please, please come back to me!
Missing you,
TGW
ToPleaseHim
RedVelvet IYKYK
- Joined
- Dec 9, 2008
- Posts
- 9,171
Dear X,
Love you, too. It was a pleasant surprise to hear from you. I'm happy to have the update and wish you well. Hopefully, we can be for each other an occasional (hopefully, fond) memory of a brief frenzied mess. It was easy, and it would be far too easy. Forgiven. Completely and without qualms.
Always your friend
,
Me
Love you, too. It was a pleasant surprise to hear from you. I'm happy to have the update and wish you well. Hopefully, we can be for each other an occasional (hopefully, fond) memory of a brief frenzied mess. It was easy, and it would be far too easy. Forgiven. Completely and without qualms.
Always your friend
,Me
mythtrav16
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Sep 13, 2008
- Posts
- 597
Bastards!
Dear Internet Service Provider,
1. Fuck you.
2. You service an English-speaking country. Get a tech support staff with a friggin' grasp of the English language!
3. Try reading a customer's email before replying to it. Makes life simpler for everybody.
4. Try checking a customer's connection details, if it's pertinent to the issue - that's why we fill in the "username" field on your tech support page. It is NOT helpful to give me information, only for me to discover it won't work with my connection.
5. Here's a thought: How about you give us ONE techician to help us out through the entire issue, rather than bouncing us from one technician to another, resulting in a massive communication breakdown every single time I have to reply to you.
6. Don't friggin ignore me just because YOU haven't been able to answer my simple questions. I don't care if I've gone through some friggin pre-allowed response limit. It you'd bothered to READ my emails and check my connection details, we could've had this whole thing sorted in two email, max!
7. For fuck's sake, get rid of that friggin text conversion software or whatever the fuck it is that removes the paragraphing from my emails and blends your tables into one single, mangled column. You are an INTERNET company. One would expect you could master the subtleties of a coherent email system.
8. If you won't accept attachments, damn well say so! Don't just have a system that converts all emails with attachments to completely blank emails without telling us, the customers! It took me 3 friggin tries before I realized even the text of the emails I was sending you wasn't getting through! "Thank you for keeping in touch" does NOT give me any indication that you aren't receiving my emails!
9. For the love of god, read your OWN FUCKING WEBSITE and if the details on there are incorrect, CHANGE THEM! When you send me emails with completely different information to what you publicly advertise, it just pisses me off even more.
10. Please stand still, with your legs parted for a little while because I have an irrepressible urge to field kick you in the balls.
P.S. To fellow Lit members. I am much more polite in my actual emails to the company, so I can assure you, I'm not earning a crappy service with bad manners. The company just sucks. And I've found other customers who say exactly the same thing!
Dear Internet Service Provider,
1. Fuck you.
2. You service an English-speaking country. Get a tech support staff with a friggin' grasp of the English language!
3. Try reading a customer's email before replying to it. Makes life simpler for everybody.
4. Try checking a customer's connection details, if it's pertinent to the issue - that's why we fill in the "username" field on your tech support page. It is NOT helpful to give me information, only for me to discover it won't work with my connection.
5. Here's a thought: How about you give us ONE techician to help us out through the entire issue, rather than bouncing us from one technician to another, resulting in a massive communication breakdown every single time I have to reply to you.
6. Don't friggin ignore me just because YOU haven't been able to answer my simple questions. I don't care if I've gone through some friggin pre-allowed response limit. It you'd bothered to READ my emails and check my connection details, we could've had this whole thing sorted in two email, max!
7. For fuck's sake, get rid of that friggin text conversion software or whatever the fuck it is that removes the paragraphing from my emails and blends your tables into one single, mangled column. You are an INTERNET company. One would expect you could master the subtleties of a coherent email system.
8. If you won't accept attachments, damn well say so! Don't just have a system that converts all emails with attachments to completely blank emails without telling us, the customers! It took me 3 friggin tries before I realized even the text of the emails I was sending you wasn't getting through! "Thank you for keeping in touch" does NOT give me any indication that you aren't receiving my emails!
9. For the love of god, read your OWN FUCKING WEBSITE and if the details on there are incorrect, CHANGE THEM! When you send me emails with completely different information to what you publicly advertise, it just pisses me off even more.
10. Please stand still, with your legs parted for a little while because I have an irrepressible urge to field kick you in the balls.
P.S. To fellow Lit members. I am much more polite in my actual emails to the company, so I can assure you, I'm not earning a crappy service with bad manners. The company just sucks. And I've found other customers who say exactly the same thing!
maybewicked
Experienced
- Joined
- Jan 3, 2011
- Posts
- 80
Dear X,
When I call and tell you my hot water heater is not working and you tell me you are going to call the owner PLEASE do so quicker than 2 days. Taking a cold shower SUCKS! BTW it took him less than 30 min to fix!!!
When I call and tell you my hot water heater is not working and you tell me you are going to call the owner PLEASE do so quicker than 2 days. Taking a cold shower SUCKS! BTW it took him less than 30 min to fix!!!
SpiritRider
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2007
- Posts
- 726
Dear X,
Thank you for shattering my life and throwing everything I believe in into doubt. You could have at least warned me how much the pain would shred my soul.
Thank you for shattering my life and throwing everything I believe in into doubt. You could have at least warned me how much the pain would shred my soul.
Dramaticflare
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 8, 2012
- Posts
- 1,057
Dear X,
Oka,y I know you're my boss and all, and that you have made yourself a career doing something quite skillful and something I enjoy doing, but you're a dick. Everyone in the hotel hates your passive agressive, condescending ass. You're a man, act like one. I know you and I haven't gotten along just because I didn't laugh at your shitty, random karaoke in the kitchen. Of course, no one else did either but you singled me out to deal with it. No, I don't know the lyrics to that 80's pop ballad I've only ever heard on the radio and never paid attention to.
And the worst part, the part that pisses me off the most, is that when you promote someone internally and take them under your wing they start acting like all of your bad parts. Our floor's sous chef never acted as bad until you took him away for a week and now he does the same thing. He leap to your conclusions in your nonsensical way. He asks your passive agressive questions and then walks away before I can respond, just like you do.
If you're too embarassed to stand up for your ass with anything other than beauracracy, please kindly get the fuck out of the kitchen. You have no place here if you don't have balls, and the attitude to handle the high stress environment. You just make it worse for everyone else,
Sincerely,
Dramaticflare
P.S. CWatson, I just realized that a haiku I just posted had its meter backwards, and it's all your heartless signature's fault. Thank you.
Oka,y I know you're my boss and all, and that you have made yourself a career doing something quite skillful and something I enjoy doing, but you're a dick. Everyone in the hotel hates your passive agressive, condescending ass. You're a man, act like one. I know you and I haven't gotten along just because I didn't laugh at your shitty, random karaoke in the kitchen. Of course, no one else did either but you singled me out to deal with it. No, I don't know the lyrics to that 80's pop ballad I've only ever heard on the radio and never paid attention to.
And the worst part, the part that pisses me off the most, is that when you promote someone internally and take them under your wing they start acting like all of your bad parts. Our floor's sous chef never acted as bad until you took him away for a week and now he does the same thing. He leap to your conclusions in your nonsensical way. He asks your passive agressive questions and then walks away before I can respond, just like you do.
If you're too embarassed to stand up for your ass with anything other than beauracracy, please kindly get the fuck out of the kitchen. You have no place here if you don't have balls, and the attitude to handle the high stress environment. You just make it worse for everyone else,
Sincerely,
Dramaticflare
P.S. CWatson, I just realized that a haiku I just posted had its meter backwards, and it's all your heartless signature's fault. Thank you.
MedicalMuse
Near, yet far.
- Joined
- Mar 28, 2011
- Posts
- 24,936
Dear x,
I did care about you once. You obviously didn't care about me. You kept things from me like you were embarrassed by me. Got news for you: I'm not embarrassed to be me. I'm embarrassed that you were so stupid you pretended to be gay so you could break up with me. What you don't understand is that I already knew you were fucking the slut. That's why I gave your cousin a blowjob in the front seat of your truck. And why it was so sticky that week after Christmas. You were sitting in his cum, that came from my mouth. (You're welcome) Why am I bringing all his up now? You called my mom last week, begging for some way to talk to me. I don't care what AA says you have to do. Leave me the fuck out of your problems.
Sincerely,
The girl who over-looked your behavior for love. And then got revenge when you screwed it up.
I did care about you once. You obviously didn't care about me. You kept things from me like you were embarrassed by me. Got news for you: I'm not embarrassed to be me. I'm embarrassed that you were so stupid you pretended to be gay so you could break up with me. What you don't understand is that I already knew you were fucking the slut. That's why I gave your cousin a blowjob in the front seat of your truck. And why it was so sticky that week after Christmas. You were sitting in his cum, that came from my mouth. (You're welcome) Why am I bringing all his up now? You called my mom last week, begging for some way to talk to me. I don't care what AA says you have to do. Leave me the fuck out of your problems.
Sincerely,
The girl who over-looked your behavior for love. And then got revenge when you screwed it up.
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