Dear X,

[unregistered]

 

[NippleMuncher]

Sometimes I see that bold little number "1" and I think it's going to be from you. Eh, never going to happen. I know. Funny how my heart still jumps. Sad, really. I should have more self-control.

I'm sorry, honey, I never knew you cared.

In all seriousness, couldn't you initiate? You never know, you might get a response.

 

[bobsgirl]

Dear X,

(I don't know where else to put this.) I miss you. Every damn minute of every freaking day, I miss you.

 

[MemphisMan9]

Dear X,
From the way you descibe him daily at work, your husband sounds like a dick.

 

[mythtrav16]

Dear Microsoft,

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP TORTURING ME AND JUST FRIGGIN' FIX YOUR CRAPSHACK SOFTWARE THAT HALF MY PROGRAMS DON'T SEEM TO BE ABLE TO RUN WITHOUT AND, DESPITE ALL INDICATIONS TO THE CONTRARY, CAN'T BE "FIXED" WITH THE CLICK OF A BUTTON!

 

[Jessica_29]

Dear X;

You ARE different when we are with your friends. Passive aggressive much? Those looks they shoot each other are saying "wtf?" but they don't stand up to you either.

 

[culloden]

Dear job: There's a reason your name is spelled the same as Job's. Please stop making me hate you.

Dear Resume Readers: Yeah, I know the economy sucks. Trust me though - I can make you money.

 

[nfrrdscnnr1]

Sto{

Dear X:
If you don't stop walking around in those form fitting shorts that show your ass wiggling so delightfully and bending over away from me giving me a look at that beautiful rear end and THEN you turn around and bend over forward toward me giving me a look down your blouse at those lovely jugs, the callouses on my hands are going to get thicker and thicker!!
N

 

[JennX]

Dear X,

Thank you so much for always being there when I need you most. You have given me so much over the years, most of all self-worth. For that I am eternally grateful.

All my love and gratitude...

 

[AdjectiveNounVerb]

Dear X,
You must be an only child if you believe that. Any first born can tell you it isn't true.

-ANV

 

[Karenas]

Dear Group X,
I am not a Christian. I don't believe. Tried it, but...no.
I wish I didn't have to pretend to even the little degree that I do, but without pretending, my son would not be allowed to associate with you, would he?
I try not to let the pretending get to me, but when can I be me in all the ways I am me? I don't really hate you--I even really like some of you! But, sometimes, it's too much.
Sincerely,
Me

 

[AdjectiveNounVerb]

Dear Business X,
Your website says you're open from 10:00 to 6:00 on Saturdays. Please change it to reflect the fact that you aren't open during those hours so that other people won't waste their time and gas like I did.

Thanks!

 

[EMPRESSLAINIE]

Dear X and X2

WHY does our relationship have to be platonic? Please write me and let me know. I'm starving for affection and cuddling and those kisses on the cheek aren't doing it for me.

 

[Jagged]

Dear X,

I'm sure you would argue that term, but you're not saying anything. You just stopped talking to me and that means a lot in a long distance relationship. You never liked labels like girlfriend, lover or any other. We'd settled on friend and enjoyed writing here together. Than when you faced an injustice part of you died. I don't blame you for the hurt and the pain. I didn't mind calling you all the time because you would talk with me for hours.

Our last visit was that of an unwanted guest not a friend and lover. Than you stopped picking up and calling back. A poem or email mailed would go unanswered. You went off the grid. Well at least for me. You reappeared here happy and writing, and you couldn't even be bothered to answer my message for the longest time. You responded one time briefly with no answers.

You say I'm not out of your life, but you're acting like it. I deserve better than that. I stood by you and was there for you as you suffered. I only wished I could do more and when I heard the bad news with you I nearly cashed my truck. Well I'm not writing this for you, and some have said I'm better off. Me I know I'm moving on, and your answers wouldn't mean much. I wish things were good again, but that won't happen. If you feel you can't talk to me well than I really guess we're done. It didn't have to be this way.

 

[The_Librarian]

Dear X,

Tell me how to apologize properly so I can stop the ruination of my life.

Sincerely,
E.

 

[bailadora]

Dear Random Stranger:

the next time you decide to sext a cock shot to your new lover, make sure you've got the correct fucking number! Thank all that's holy that my phone is passcoded and my kids didn't see that. As for MY retinas - well, let's just say there's not enough brain bleach in the world.

 

[NippleMuncher]

Dear Random Stranger:

the next time you decide to sext a cock shot to your new lover, make sure you've got the correct fucking number! Thank all that's holy that my phone is passcoded and my kids didn't see that. As for MY retinas - well, let's just say there's not enough brain bleach in the world.

That came to you?!?!?!? It was supposed to go to pmann! Sorry, won't happen again! But, now that you saw it, impressive, huh?

 

[cornflakegirl78]

grrr

Dear X:

Your kid is not the smartest kid alive – she is a brat – and you give into everything she wants – which is one of the reasons I refuse to spend time with you and her – oh yeah and the breast feeding – I get it is healthy and has benefits for babies – but please your child had a chicken drumstick in one hand and your breast in the other and when you call out “come suck mommy’s titties” it makes my skin crawl. Oh yeah you are a douche and the love of your life (who you are lucky he even stuck around after your natural birth control failed a month after meeting him) is an uber douche who lacks any social skills at all – did you miss him on his iphone during your dad’s funeral? This are the reasons why I don’t want to drive an hour to visit you – oh and I’m still mad about 10 years ago when I broke my ankle and you refused to tell me where the hospital was – I should have known you were nuts then.

 

[HappyAlone]

That came to you?!?!?!? It was supposed to go to pmann! Sorry, won't happen again! But, now that you saw it, impressive, huh?

i fucking love you LOL!

 

[NippleMuncher]

i fucking love you LOL!

Thank you, I'll be here all week!

 

[bailadora]

That came to you?!?!?!? It was supposed to go to pmann! Sorry, won't happen again! But, now that you saw it, impressive, huh?

No way that was you. This thing was miniscule. And as you've told me many times before, yours is big enough to eclipse the sun!

 

[NippleMuncher]

No way that was you. This thing was miniscule. And as you've told me many times before, yours is big enough to eclipse the sun!

Oh, yeah, that wouldn't have been me then. Every day is a total eclipse for western seaboard, well at least first thing in the morning anyway.

 

[bobsgirl]

Dear Random Stranger:

the next time you decide to sext a cock shot to your new lover, make sure you've got the correct fucking number! Thank all that's holy that my phone is passcoded and my kids didn't see that. As for MY retinas - well, let's just say there's not enough brain bleach in the world.

Ah, the old disembodied cock shot. Lucky you. I like men and have a keen appreciation for a good erection, but... no thank you.

Very glad your kids didn't see it.

 

[Eilan]

Dear 2012-13 School Year,

Bring. It. On.

Eilan

 

[Paul_Chance]

Dear Random Stranger

Dear Random Stranger:

Please return my random cock pic.

Paul, Randomly