Dear sheep

[IndieSnob]

I'm counting you motherfuckers, so get to hopping around so I can go to bed.

Also, no shedding on me. If I wake up with watery eyes, I'm going to have to make sheer you never bah again.

Yours,

Jinxed

You know, the funny and nice one in the Kyle-Jinxed relationship.

 

[kbate]

This belongs in the BDSM forum, not on the family GB.

 

[oggbashan]

Extract from my long stalled story The Sheep of Doom

The land agent carried out the landlord’s orders except for one cottage that was occupied by Annie Blacksmith who was old and expected to die soon. The agent thought she would survive but a month or so and it wasn’t worth turning her out to starve. When the landlord saw that Annie’s cottage was still occupied he disagreed. His agent tried to explain and was dismissed for failure to execute the eviction.

On the day that Annie was to be removed from her cottage she got out of her bed for the first time in several weeks, dressed herself, and sat on a bench outside the front door. As the landlord approached with his bailiffs she stood up and shook her fist.

“Sheep is all you want,” She yelled, “Sheep you shall have. Sheep will bring you pelf. You and your heirs will answer for what you have done to the people of this land. The sheep of doom will come. That fate you cannot evade.”

Annie swayed on her feet.

“The sheep of doom will come…” She said before falling dead across the threshold of her cottage.”

The barman paused and drank some of his beer. We looked at each other. ‘The sheep of doom?’ seemed very far-fetched. The hound of doom; the wolf of doom; but a sheep?

 

[Wat_Tyler]

The land agent carried out the landlord’s orders except for one cottage that was occupied by Annie Blacksmith who was old and expected to die soon. The agent thought she would survive but a month or so and it wasn’t worth turning her out to starve. When the landlord saw that Annie’s cottage was still occupied he disagreed. His agent tried to explain and was dismissed for failure to execute the eviction.

On the day that Annie was to be removed from her cottage she got out of her bed for the first time in several weeks, dressed herself, and sat on a bench outside the front door. As the landlord approached with his bailiffs she stood up and shook her fist.

“Sheep is all you want,” She yelled, “Sheep you shall have. Sheep will bring you pelf. You and your heirs will answer for what you have done to the people of this land. The sheep of doom will come. That fate you cannot evade.”

Annie swayed on her feet.

“The sheep of doom will come…” She said before falling dead across the threshold of her cottage.”

The barman paused and drank some of his beer. We looked at each other. ‘The sheep of doom?’ seemed very far-fetched. The hound of doom; the wolf of doom; but a sheep?

Egad, man, that explains it all. The mysteries of the ages solves, the blind see and the lame walk as what was in drakness had been brought to light.


It is Sheep of Doom!!!

 

[girlsmiley]

Dear sheep.

Where were you?

I looked everywhere in my dream and you weren't there.

Where were you when I needed to sacrifice you to the alligator that was chasing me through the garden? He was so fast. He nearly got me.

Not impressed,

Smiley.

 

[kbate]

Dear sheep.

Where were you?

I looked everywhere in my dream and you weren't there.

Where were you when I needed to sacrifice you to the alligator that was chasing me through the garden? He was so fast. He nearly got me.

Not impressed,

Smiley.

You're from Oz. Just look in your closet and you'll find two sheep.

Plus, it was a croc, not an alligator. You need to learn to look at the teeth while running for your life - it is important for statistics.

Yours in concern,

kb

 

[Wat_Tyler]

Mom is on the prowl for the gators. I think the word is out and they have all skulked off back to their holes/lairs/swamps.

 

[girlsmiley]

You're from Oz. Just look in your closet and you'll find two sheep.

Plus, it was a croc, not an alligator. You need to learn to look at the teeth while running for your life - it is important for statistics.

Yours in concern,

kb

Just look in my closet?

Hello. I was running for my life. I didn't have time to pick out a snazzy outfit.

They were so alligators. They were in the pool. They were small and fast and scary looking.

Millions of sheep in Australia and not one bothered to show up in my dream. I'll remember that.

Lamb cutlet, kbate?

 

[tactful]

This thread, is putting me to sleep.

 

[girlsmiley]

This thread, is putting me to sleep.

Your post, is, putting, me, to, sleep.

 

[gotsnowgotslush]

Why is the sheep doing the St. Vitus dance ? It is not a sheep. It is a mass of rabbits, under a sheepskin.

Why are they behaving like lemmings ?

 

[kbate]

This thread, is putting me to sleep.

Strange, it's putting Smiley to sheep. You must be reading it wrongly.

 

[girlsmiley]

Strange, it's putting Smiley to sheep. You must be reading it wrongly.

Delicious.

 

[run_silent]

You're from Oz. Just look in your closet and you'll find two sheep.

Plus, it was a croc, not an alligator. You need to learn to look at the teeth while running for your life - it is important for statistics.

Yours in concern,

kb

Now that is just plain funny.

Edited to add-

I thought it was the snout not the teeth. Where I live we have both and it's always the snout.

 

[islandman]

I'm counting you motherfuckers, so get to hopping around so I can go to bed.

Also, no shedding on me. If I wake up with watery eyes, I'm going to have to make sheer you never bah again.

Yours,

Jinxed

You know, the funny and nice one in the Kyle-Jinxed relationship.

Shear*


Kind regards,

A concerned citizen

 

[jomar]

Dear sheep.

Where were you?

I looked everywhere in my dream and you weren't there.

Where were you when I needed to sacrifice you to the alligator that was chasing me through the garden? He was so fast. He nearly got me.

Not impressed,

Smiley.

Pro tip: Zig-zag when running from crocs or gators...the reptile kind, that is.

 

[tactful]

Your post, is, putting, me, to, sleep.

Strange, it's putting Smiley to sheep. You must be reading it wrongly.

Two on one, good odds, but, still no pictures, tarts, yawns.

 

[girlsmiley]

Sheer
Shear


Cher

 

[Laurel]

The land agent carried out the landlord’s orders except for one cottage that was occupied by Annie Blacksmith who was old and expected to die soon. The agent thought she would survive but a month or so and it wasn’t worth turning her out to starve. When the landlord saw that Annie’s cottage was still occupied he disagreed. His agent tried to explain and was dismissed for failure to execute the eviction.

On the day that Annie was to be removed from her cottage she got out of her bed for the first time in several weeks, dressed herself, and sat on a bench outside the front door. As the landlord approached with his bailiffs she stood up and shook her fist.

“Sheep is all you want,” She yelled, “Sheep you shall have. Sheep will bring you pelf. You and your heirs will answer for what you have done to the people of this land. The sheep of doom will come. That fate you cannot evade.”

Annie swayed on her feet.

“The sheep of doom will come…” She said before falling dead across the threshold of her cottage.”

The barman paused and drank some of his beer. We looked at each other. ‘The sheep of doom?’ seemed very far-fetched. The hound of doom; the wolf of doom; but a sheep?

It could happen. Sheep are scary!

 

[SalviaDivinorum]

Sheer
Shear


Cher

If I could turn back time, I'd prevent Cher from recording that song.

 

[girlsmiley]

Mmmmmm. Aussie lamb on a sheepskin rug.

 

[girlsmiley]

If I could turn back time, I'd prevent Cher from recording that song.

I like that song.