Dear Litster... (continued)

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Dear Super Sperm (donor):

I would like to say that God will provide, but I haven't seen shoes from heaven like ever - just manna.

Signed,

Now Accepting Bit Coin Litster


Dear Gross Litster!!

I am a girl - we do not have gas. HELLO! ;)

Dear Accepting Litster,

Of course you're accepting. You have my love virtual sperm in your tummy.

Signed,

Never drinking to black out status again.
 
Apparently they've never heard of Eyer v

YES!!! We should get Eyer and Ann together on this - the PG will unite at the sheer evilness those two can throw together. It's like "wonder twin powers activate!" when those two find a, er, victim.
 
Dear Accepting Litster,

Of course you're accepting. You have my love virtual sperm in your tummy.

Signed,

Never drinking to black out status again.

Dear Black Out,

Don't worry - I'm going to drink an entire bottle of wine here soon. I'm sure that will flush out the virtual sperm. You can keep your bit coin.

Signed,

Too old to be birthing babies!
 
Dear people-

I feel like some GB people could add a lot here. Lance. Garnate. Eyer. Miss Ann. Fata. But people are doing well. This is GB worthy, except people expect it to get closed. We all need to get it back on track by making sure we start with "dear lister".

Sincerely,

Just wanting the truth
 
Dear Black Out,

Don't worry - I'm going to drink an entire bottle of wine here soon. I'm sure that will flush out the virtual sperm. You can keep your bit coin.

Signed,

Too old to be birthing babies!

Dear Flusher,


After reading all the bad paedo stuff it is probably not the best idea to bring a virtual child into the world anyway.

Signed,

Cutting off my two year old's finger now so he avoids this shit.
 
Dear Flusher,


After reading all the bad paedo stuff it is probably not the best idea to bring a virtual child into the world anyway.

Signed,

Cutting off my two year old's finger now so he avoids this shit.

Dear Child Abuser,

Can't you just tape his fingers together? Or use super glue? I mean once Donald Trump becomes the President we will all regress back to a state in which the internet no longer exists. He might need those fingers to use smoke signals to communicate or something.

Signed,

I went there Litster
 
Dear Involved Parties,

Will someone please make a timeline for me?

Thanks,

Still confused
 
Dear Child Abuser,

Can't you just tape his fingers together? Or use super glue? I mean once Donald Trump becomes the President we will all regress back to a state in which the internet no longer exists. He might need those fingers to use smoke signals to communicate or something.

Signed,

I went there Litster

Dear above and beyond Litster,

True. Never thought about communicating. He is lactose intolerant though. So maybe I just feed him that and he can send smoke signals a different way.

Signed,

Fart humor is always funny.
 
Dear Involved Parties,

Will someone please make a timeline for me?

Thanks,

Still confused

Dear Confused

One guy said it was a month old. The vocaroo said last fall. This is obviously fresh stuff. Duh.

Signed,

Instigator
 
Dear above and beyond Litster,

True. Never thought about communicating. He is lactose intolerant though. So maybe I just feed him that and he can send smoke signals a different way.

Signed,

Fart humor is always funny.

Dear Funny Farter,

I think we MIGHT be winning! We are taking back the Dear Litster thread with our mundane conversation. It's working!

P.S. - My cat just threw up down the back of my couch. I think it's a sign to get a new couch.

Signed,

Would rather talk about farts than vomit
 
Dear Funny Farter,

I think we MIGHT be winning! We are taking back the Dear Litster thread with our mundane conversation. It's working!

P.S. - My cat just threw up down the back of my couch. I think it's a sign to get a new couch.

Signed,

Would rather talk about farts than vomit

Dear vomit hater,

I hear crickets.

Signed,

This was one of the best afterschool specials I've ever watched. I think we've all learned something.
 
Holy SHIOT I think I need Holy Water and a Priest after that read.... I am going to go back into my hiding hole where it is warm safe and has boobies
 
Dear vomit hater,

I hear crickets.

Signed,

This was one of the best afterschool specials I've ever watched. I think we've all learned something.

Dear Learned Litster,

Yep - talking of vomiting cats, miracle Lit babies, and chopping of children's fingers WINS every time.

Signed,

Cracking open that wine now
 
Since none of you fuckers will get me a timeline, I'll do it myself.

1. Shelby e fucked some guy named EverydayMan. 0 fucks were given.

2. Sks e fucked some guy named EverydayMan. 0 fucks were given.

3. Some Shoot the Shit thread reached 5,000 posts. 0 fucks were given.

4. A new STS thread was started by Dark Simian. While 0 fucks should have been given, it seems that a lot were given. Hundreds of fucks. And dozens of shits.

5. People were bitching and talking behind backs. Lots of shits and fucks were given, but they were negative fucks versus positive fucks so they cancel out. The total sum of fucks given was a big hairy 0.

6. Clowns and I came along and started stirring this shit up. 2 shits were given by 2 fuckers.

7. EverydayMan said he wanted to fuck someone who is totally of legal age. Many many fucks were given and shit was slung.

8. A vocaroo was posted. No shits were given, but I lost my shit.

Is this about correct?
 
Since none of you fuckers will get me a timeline, I'll do it myself.

1. Shelby e fucked some guy named EverydayMan. 0 fucks were given.

2. Sks e fucked some guy named EverydayMan. 0 fucks were given.

3. Some Shoot the Shit thread reached 5,000 posts. 0 fucks were given.

4. A new STS thread was started by Dark Simian. While 0 fucks should have been given, it seems that a lot were given. Hundreds of fucks. And dozens of shits.

5. People were bitching and talking behind backs. Lots of shits and fucks were given, but they were negative fucks versus positive fucks so they cancel out. The total sum of fucks given was a big hairy 0.

6. Clowns and I came along and started stirring this shit up. 2 shits were given by 2 fuckers.

7. EverydayMan said he wanted to fuck someone who is totally of legal age. Many many fucks were given and shit was slung.

8. A vocaroo was posted. No shits were given, but I lost my shit.

Is this about correct?

9. The rest of lit could cancel their People mag subscriptions. This is waaay juicier.
 
Dear Pmann,

Wish you could see my tits, huh? I'll compromise and show you a solid perineum.

Sincerely,

Taint gal.
 
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