dear laurel

[Peregrinator]

Dear Laurel,

Snakes ain't got no ears.

Love,

P

 

[islandman]

Dear Laurel,

Perg lies. Snakes have ears on the inside.


Yours in ophiology,

islandman

 

[Peregrinator]

Dear Pedantic Person,

I meant "external ears that would allow her to hear me calling her name."

:lips:

P

 

[islandman]

Dear Besmircher,

I teach you things.



Regards,

islandman

 

[Byron In Exile]

Dear Peregrinator,

Ain't no end to learnin'.

Hugs,

B.

 

[patient1]

Dear patient1,

Aren't your thighs tired?

concerned.

Often.

 

[Saint Peter]

Dear Peregrinator,

Ain't no end to learnin'.

Hugs,

B.

Often.

 

[glynndah]

Dear Laurel,

Are squirrels near-sighted?

Sincerely,

the just-curious good little witch.

 

[Laurel]

Dear Sean,

That's really cool. Have you read/heard his story about Americans in Paris mistaking him for a French pickpocket? It's hysterically funny. If I remember what book it was in, I'll post it (the book title - not the piece, because that would be copyright naughtiness).

Love,

Laurel

*

Dear Noor,

The flower is full of power. Use it only for good! (Or for the naughty, but not evil!)

Love,

Laurel

*

Dear SaintPete,

I tried, but they went out anyway, slamming the doors behind them.

Kids these days.

Love,

Laurel

*

Dear Indie,

Counters are nice, as are chairs.

Best of luck!

Love,

Laurel

*

Dear everyone,

Please take your cunts to the Cunt thread.

Love,

Adre & Laurel

*

Dear glynndah,

I am the Walrus.

Love,

Laurel

*

Dear lovetoread,

Sounds like a wonderful day!

Love,

Laurel

*

Dear Fata,

Your old lad is beautiful. I love him! Give him a kiss and a chin-skritch. And my younger lad (only 12) says mreeeooowwww...

Love,

Laurel

*

Dear Perg,

You're right, they don't! But it'd be cool if they did.

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m23fydLYOs1r3n418o1_500.jpg

Love,

Laurel

*

Dear islandman,

Maybe so, but they'd be better as illustrated above.

Love,

Laurel

P.S. My cat has ears but has never come running when his name is called.

*

Dear glynndah,

Offhand and without Googling, I have no idea. Next time I see one, I'll ask him/her how many fingers I'm holding up.

Love,

Laurel

 

[lovetoread]

Dear Laurel,

Somehow my skin went from slightly pink to oh my gawd ow ow ow it burns! Everything from the top of my head down to the end of my legs.

Sigh, now you now why I prefer to stay inside and read porn. Less chance of hurting myself.

Love,
LTR

 

[blackleggings]

Dear LTR,

Cool baths and aloe are my favorites after too much sun. I hope you feel better!

Love,
blackleggings


Dear everyone,

You're all invited to the Cindy Lauper concert that I volunteered to work. If this song is stuck in my head after tonight, it should be stuck in yours as well.

Love to all,
blackleggings

 

[lovetoread]

Dear BL,

Please take lots of pics.

Love,
LTR

 

[islandman]

Dear Laurel,

What happened to yo?

I haven't seen her about is several days?



Yours in missing her smacked cunt pics,

islandman

 

[Laurel]

Dear lovetoread,

Yikes! Listen to blackleggings and enjoy porn indoors until your skin is better! And after as well.

Love,

Laurel

*

Dear I-man

I dunno. Should we send out a search party? I'll get the torches.

Love,

Laurel

P.S. Are torches for search parties or angry mobs? I forget.

 

[glynndah]

Dear Laurel,

I am the epitome of inertia this morning. I need motivation, please.

Sincerely,

the slug-like good little witch.

 

[Radiohead]

Dear Laurel,

Can you please get a perfectly proportioned blonde I know to send stuff to me every day? Theres a bonus for you if you do.

Yours sincerely,

Yes Please.

 

[Laurel]

Dear glynndah,

I'm going to come up behind you really fast and push you in the hopes of unsticking you and sending you sailing smoothly into your day. In the event that I instead push you over, I'm very sorry.

Love,

Laurel

*

Dear Radiohead,

*ears perk* Bonus? Send her my way and I'll give her a proper talking-to.

Love,

Laurel

 

[Adre]

Dear Laurel,

I hope you're having a lovely weekend and that someone is catering to your every whim.

Love,

Adre

 

[Radiohead]

Dear Laurel

That's not the kind of bonus that I was thinking of, though, now I'm thinking of it, that could fit a few fantasies that I haven't had played out yet.

Yours in morality,

John Lennon

 

[islandman]

Dear Laurel,

Do I need to blow manu to get gif avs working again?

Please advise.



Yours currently frozen in an uncomfortable dance position,

islandman

 

[kotori]

Dear Laurel,

Please make the next ninety-minutes fly by, but then slow things down. Precipitously.

Melting in Metuchen,

k

 

[lovetoread]

Dear Laurel,

Please stop Iman from making it so hot. My skin is on fire.

Love,
LTR

 

[butters]

dear laurel,


cheers *raises glass of wine spritzer*

love
melted butter

i should clarify, i am a puddle.

 

[glynndah]

Dear glynndah,

I'm going to come up behind you really fast and push you in the hopes of unsticking you and sending you sailing smoothly into your day. In the event that I instead push you over, I'm very sorry.

Love,

Laurel

Dear Laurel,

Thank you for the push. I'm sure the bruises will heal in a week or so.

Sincerely yours,

the movin'-kinda-slow good little witch.

 

[Peregrinator]

Dear Laurel,

It took almost a week and a half, but eventually we found her. I'm sad but unsurprised that she's long dead. She wasn't in my sector, so I didn't have to deal with the body, but it's still a sad, sad case. Obviously she was correct in her decision to divorce the sonofabitch, but I wish, wish, wish, that she could have hid from him somehow and stayed safe.

These are the calls I hate. I knew the outcome before even the pager went off, but still, hope springs. I thought it was possible that she was hiding somewhere, with friends, maybe. Somewhere in a small hotel that didn't ask for ID.

No. She was killed and dumped in the woods, in a place where the murderer hoped she wouldn't be found. He didn't count on the dedication of my team and its partner the dog team.

I hope he burns in hell.

Yours in a sometimes challenging volunteer but necessary job,

P