dear laurel

[artemesia_g]

Dear Laurel,

Why is it so soul-suckingly hot outside? And can you make it stop? Please and thank you.

Much love,
Sweaty

 

[lovetoread]

Dear Laurel,

I've been flashed many times today.

Love,
LTR

 

[patient1]

Dear Laurel-

How do you think the super heavyweight boxing rematch match that never was would have looked like?

You know the one. The If 6'5" Riddick Bowe (33KO )would have accepted the challenge from 6'5"Lennox Lewis (32KO). Back in the day when Bowe was fit and before Lennox developed his jab as more than a "I'm just holding you at arm's length, not trying to hit you" thing.

 

[kbate]

Dear Laurel,

I could use a foot massage.

I'll even let Manu do it this time (but I won't wash for him).

kb

 

[girlsmiley]

Dear Laurel.

My iron died. Now what am I supposed to do?

Sick in Sydney,

Smiley.

 

[Disgustipated]

is Kyle dead yet?

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

Dear disgustipated

get with the plan

or else.

The Law

 

[pete]

dear laurel

please get girlsmiley a more updated sex toy. she was using an iron all this time, for god's sake.

also, please send her some chocolate chip cookies and say they're from me?

please and thank you,
the lesser known pete

 

[Silverlily]

Dear Universe,

Cat people are fucking weirdos.


Yours in condescension,

islandman

Dear I-man,

The feral kitten in my lap and I both say piss off.



Lily and Lila

~


Dear Laurel,

I would like to claim the title of Kitty Mama - East Coast. If I have to bear I-man's condescension, I should get some cool swag.

Lily

 

[islandman]

Dear Silverlily,

There isn't a thing wrong with your swag.




Hugs and kisses,

islandman

 

[thør]

Dear girlsmiley,

Time to pull out the woods.

Enjoy,

thør

 

[Laurel]

Dear ltr,

You mean like this?

http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Paint+Me+Like+One+of+Your+French+Girls_c58b2e_3650517.jpg

Love,

Laurel

P.S. Lucky you on the flashing!

*

Dear artemesia_g,

Because nature needs souls.

Love,

Laurel

*

Dear patienti1,

I'm a Lennox Lewis fan, and think he's the superior boxer in that matchup. That said, I think Lennox'd be ultra-cautious (especially against Riddick's undisciplined style), which would result in a less than satisfying show. I predict it would go for the fill 10 rounds and Lennox would win by a controversial decision.

Love,

Laurel

*



Love,

Laurel

*

Dear kbate,

I'd be happy to help. I give great foot, back, head, and shoulder massages. Legs too.

Love,

Laurel

*

Dear smiley,

What thør said.

Love,

Laurel

P.S. Or you could try to putt your way out.

*



Love,

Laurel

*

Dear Disgustipated,

If he is, will his ferrets eat him? That's what I want to know.

Love,

Laurel

*

Dear lesser Pete,

I agree. She needs a nice new toy, and cookies. And to have her hair softly brushed.

Love,

Laurel

*

Dear Silverlily,

Awesome! I remember the days of feral kitties running through the house and my real cat alternately throwing a tantrum and throwing the kitts around.

I dub thee Kitty Mama - East Coast. The title comes with a crown and a pair of fuzzy socks for when the kitts pounce on your feet.

Love,

Laurel

 

[islandman]

Dear Laurel,

I dedicate the following to you, mostly because it's got a lovely beat: http://youtu.be/v1c2OfAzDTI


Yours on a lazy Sunday morning,

islandman

 

[Laurel]

Dear I-man,

That's funny, because I danced my feet straight off to a remix of that song the other night.

How did you know?

Love,

Feetless Laurel

 

[blackleggings]

Dear Laurel,

I love his voice.

Waiting for my pool to open,
blackleggings

 

[islandman]

Dear Laurel,

I may not be your most ardent stalker, but I do try.

Also, how many of those currently posting on Lit. currently have a butt-plug in situ?


Yours in latex,

islandman

 

[Peregrinator]

Dear Kyle,

I'm sorry, but this thread was on the bottom half of page one.

Also, I want to know what Laurel looks like dressed as a naughty French maid.

Loving half the abovementioned posters,

Perg

 

[Byron In Exile]

in situ?

There's something you don't see very often: a 4th declension noun.

 

[lovetoread]

Dear Laurel,

It's become very hot here and I've lost a lot of clothes.

In love and sweat,
LTR

 

[Laurel]

Dear blackleggings,

Gorgeous voice indeed!

Love,

Laurel

*

Dear islandman,

I appreciate and reciprocate the effort.

Before noon, the average is 64.2%. After noon, the average is 32%. As to the difference, my guess is that anuses (anii?) get tired after lunch,

Love,

Laurel

*

Dear lovetoread,

Don't worry, they can't have gone far.

Love,

Laurel

 

[glynndah]

Dear Laurel,

I may not be your most ardent stalker, but I do try.

Also, how many of those currently posting on Lit. currently have a butt-plug in situ?


Yours in latex,

islandman

Dear islandman,

She knows that, too?!?

Sincerely,

The checking-the-status-of-my-webcam good little witch.

 

[islandman]

Dear parents,

You can't take Paula Deen to task when you let your kids use the n-word with each other.


Kind regards,

islandman

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

Dear i-man
Should Paula Deens have said n-word instead of n*gg*r?

sincerly Whitey

 

[Peregrinator]

Dear Laurel,

It's hot and humid and I am sweating profusely. Would you care to roll around naked with me?

Love,

Me

 

[lovetoread]

Dear Laurel,

I've discovered the marks hard lemonade frozen drinks that come premade and I am in love. You cannot taste the alcohol, it's just like drinking a frozen lemonade.

You can come share mine.

Love,
LTR