dear laurel

[glynndah]

Dear Laurel,

My band-aid from the blood drive has pretty pink and purple flowers on it.

Sincerely yours,

the A+ good little witch.

 

[Laurel]

Dear Tristesse,

Possibly. The question is: did ever need it?

Love,

Laurel

*

Dear Lorilei,

Not at all. Life's too short to put up with things if you don't have to.

Love,

Laurel

*

Dear Islandman,

It could be. Or they could be looking for a parking place.

Love,

Laurel

*

Dear ltr,

I agree.

Love,

Laurel

*

Dear glynndah,

I saw a little boy with a Pooh Bear bandaid. I was so jealous that I nearly cut myself just so I could have one too.

Love,

Laurel

 

[butters]

dear laurel,

happily i'm off work now till monday. the ongoing leak there just about dried up, but when the boss opened up the shop this morning there were major water problems throughout the shop and more tiles down. shop can't open, and i felt guilty for a few moments about her having to deal with the mess without me. then i thought 'get over it'. does this make me a selfish person?

lazy in london,
butters

 

[blackleggings]

Dear Laurel,
Please switch places with me today. It's my last day of meetings and yesterday was incredibly boring. You, however, would light up the room and bring excitement to the world of molding children's minds into engineers. I just want to stay in my pajamas.

Yours with only two cups of coffee,
blackleggings

 

[butters]

dear blackleggings

good luck with that one

butters

 

[blackleggings]

Dear Butters,

I'm thinking it was too last minute for Laurel.

Love,
blackleggings

 

[glynndah]

Dear Laurel,

Could you please build me a time machine? I forgot some things at the store yesterday and can't finish my chores without them.

Sincerely,

The plumbery good little witch.

 

[trysail]

Dear Laurel,

Thank you.

 

[neci]

dear laurel,

do you need anything from the park?

later, alligator!


neci

 

[Laurel]

Dear butters,

If you don't think of yourself, who will?

Love,

Laurel

*

Dear blackleggings,

I would, but I'm switching places with Byron today and neci tomorrow.

Love,

Laurel

*

Dear glynndah,

Once I figure out how to get the batteries out of the remote without removing skin from my fingertips, I'll get on the time machine construction.

Love,

Laurel

*

Dear trysail,



No, thank you!

Love,

Laurel

*

Dear neci,

If you see one of those little tea-colored poodle things, grab me one. Or an Icee.

Thanks!

Love,

Laurel

 

[Fata Morgana]

Dear Laurel

Just got back from the Vet. My cat has cystitis. Aww.

Yours, covered in cat hair

Cunting Fata

 

[IndieSnob]

Dear Laurel,

Although Fata is just a cunt in general, and I don't really like cats in general, I hope that her kitty gets better.

Sneezing thinking about the cat yours,

Indie

 

[Fata Morgana]

Dear Indie

You are a double-dose cunt of the highest proportion.

You hate everything wonderful in life; Stevie Nicks, Billy Joel, Game of Thrones, Led Zep, Irish, cats, most cheeses, the list is endless.

I think I hate you and a lot of the time want to physically harm you.

Infact, I'd love to set your beard on fire.

Yours searching for lighter fluid

Fata

 

[IndieSnob]

Dear Laurel,

I wonder if the cat didn't actually get the bladder infection from its owner. Fata sure seems to have a lot of sand in her vagina today, and it's sad. Normally I just laugh it off, but I'm concerned for her mental well-being.

P.S. Secretly I am turned on by her verbal abuse of me, but I don't know how to confess that to her.

Genital sandlessly yours,

Indie

 

[kbate]

Dear Laurel,

Please create a private group for Fata and Indie.

We don't need this kind of turgid love affair on the GB.

Yours woefully,

kb

 

[Fata Morgana]

Dear kbate

If he was the last beard on earth I wouldn't go near him with my strimmer.

 

[kbate]

Dear Laurel,

Please *** out the word Strimmer - it makes me shudder.

Yours in grammar cuntery,

kb

 

[Fata Morgana]

Dear Cunts in this thread

I'm off to the chippy. Anybody want owt?

Kbate, I've got you down for a battered saveloy.

Yours starvingly.

Fata

 

[IndieSnob]

Dear Fata,

Even though you are such a cunt, I'd still orally ravish your privates, even if you had Billy Joel & Stevie Nicks streaming out of it, your cat clawing at my back, or smelly ass cheese on a plate sitting on your nightstand.

Yours,

Indie

 

[Fata Morgana]

Dear Fata,

Even though you are such a cunt, I'd still orally ravish your privates, even if you had Billy Joel & Stevie Nicks streaming out of it, your cat clawing at my back, or smelly ass cheese on a plate sitting on your nightstand.

Yours,

Indie

 

[islandman]

Dear Indie,

I'm glad you didn't go where I thought you were going with that "smelly cheese plate" bit.

Yours in East Compton,


islandman

 

[butters]

Dear Cunts in this thread

I'm off to chippy. Anybody want owt?



Yours starvingly.

Fata

dear fata,

fyp

utterlycuntingbutterlychippy

saveloy'll do me, with chips and a curry sauce ta thanx

 

[Fata Morgana]

Dear Butters

I had chips, chicken & mushroom pie, mushy peas and gravy.

Was fuckingfancuntingtastic.

Yours, stuffed full o'grease

Fata

 

[blackleggings]

Dear Indie,

"Smelly ass cheese" should not go together in a sentence, because ew. Ass cheese is just gross.

Yours sans ass cheese,
blackleggings

 

[Adre]

Dear Fata,

I suggest some Alka Seltzer before retiring.

Gassily,

Adre