Dear Clowns

[IhateClowns]

Smartass.

I fold.

Wait you can still shuffle cards?????/ COME BACK!!!!!

 

[IhateClowns]

Smartass.

I fold.

I channelled Dear Abbey and asked her how I should have handled this situation better. She said I did it all wrong. I shouldnt make fun of my readers I should embrace them.

Fuck that. I am here to help you with your needs. I will be your card shuffled.

 

[littlelovedove]

I channelled Dear Abbey and asked her how I should have handled this situation better. She said I did it all wrong. I shouldnt make fun of my readers I should embrace them.

Fuck that. I am here to help you with your needs. I will be your card shuffled.

Dear Clowns,

You make me laugh and make me think all at the same time. WOW!! I can multi-task!!

Signed,

LLD

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns,

You make me laugh and make me think all at the same time. WOW!! I can multi-task!!

Signed,

LLD

Dear Multi Tasker,

I am but a server to the people. I can't imagine of my nonsensical BS make you or anyone else think unless by think you mean rolling your eyes. As for making you smile it is my joy to do so.

 

[Farrah]

I channelled Dear Abbey and asked her how I should have handled this situation better. She said I did it all wrong. I shouldnt make fun of my readers I should embrace them.

Fuck that. I am here to help you with your needs. I will be your card shuffled.

I'm not sure what this means. I'm going to pretend it means that I get to see your naughty bits. *Checks inbox*

 

[IhateClowns]

I'm not sure what this means. I'm going to pretend it means that I get to see your naughty bits. *Checks inbox*

Dear Viewer,

Depending in how much I eat at Thanksgiving there are times when I can't even see my naughty bits much less take pictures of it. You don't want to see my naughty bits. Looks like a dogs nose poking out through a hole in the fence. Not pretty.

 

[Farrah]

Dear Viewer,

Depending in how much I eat at Thanksgiving there are times when I can't even see my naughty bits much less take pictures of it. You don't want to see my naughty bits. Looks like a dogs nose poking out through a hole in the fence. Not pretty.

I like dogs. *Checks inbox again.

How the heck are you, Clowns?

 

[IhateClowns]

I like dogs. *Checks inbox again.

How the heck are you, Clowns?

Dogs nose is as cold and wet as my penis is after I use the restroom. I wish m cock had a built in sniffer like my nose. So when it is runny it can just sniff it up. Would eliminate the yellow dotted stains in my tighty whities.

I am well thank you. Just watching football waiting to head out for the night. . Hope you are well.

 

[Farrah]

Dogs nose is as cold and wet as my penis is after I use the restroom. I wish m cock had a built in sniffer like my nose. So when it is runny it can just sniff it up. Would eliminate the yellow dotted stains in my tighty whities.

I am well thank you. Just watching football waiting to head out for the night. . Hope you are well.

Wow. That was...a lot of information. A lot. Thank you for being so...forthcoming. Forthcumming?

What does Clowns enjoy doing on a night out on the town?

Signed,
Slightly Bewildered in BFE

 

[IhateClowns]

Wow. That was...a lot of information. A lot. Thank you for being so...forthcoming. Forthcumming?

What does Clowns enjoy doing on a night out on the town?

Signed,
Slightly Bewildered in BFE

Dear lost in BFE,

My best times are hanging with my friends. Telling the same stories over and over and watching sports. We are a fun group to go out with. A night on the town depends. Up until this year I had season tickets to the theater and The OKC Thunder basketball team. I am not a club guy rather a bar with a dart board kind of fella. Not sure if that makes me a bore or not but I am just a down to earth normal everyday guy with a sick sense of humor.

 

[Farrah]

Dear lost in BFE,

My best times are hanging with my friends. Telling the same stories over and over and watching sports. We are a fun group to go out with. A night on the town depends. Up until this year I had season tickets to the theater and The OKC Thunder basketball team. I am not a club guy rather a bar with a dart board kind of fella. Not sure if that makes me a bore or not but I am just a down to earth normal everyday guy with a sick sense of humor.

Dear Clowns,

We have a bar right here in our house. There is a dart board and a Foosball table. You can come kick my ass in darts, if I can kill you at the foos. We love sports. Basketball, football, baseball...and the TV is always on in the bar. It's a sports bar, really. Also, I love the theater. I do not think you are a bore. I think you are borderline fantastic. Let's hang out. Bring your friends, and you can tell us all the same stories over and over.

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns,

We have a bar right here in our house. There is a dart board and a Foosball table. You can come kick my ass in darts, if I can kill you at the foos. We love sports. Basketball, football, baseball...and the TV is always on in the bar. It's a sports bar, really. Also, I love the theater. I do not think you are a bore. I think you are borderline fantastic. Let's hang out. Bring your friends, and you can tell us all the same stories over and over.

Dear built in Buffalo Wild Wings,

Last thing you need us a bunch of fraternity guys drinking all of your beer by telling and retelling sex conquers and what could have beens. Then again that sounds like every night for us. I am terrible at football but will kick some ass in air hockey.

 

[lakesailer_mi]

Dear Clowns,

I am in the position of telling a bunch of young people what they should do with their lives.
Is it ethical to tell them that they should spend their lives looking for opportunity to puchase alcohol for me?

Signed,

The Sailor

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns,

I am in the position of telling a bunch of young people what they should do with their lives.
Is it ethical to tell them that they should spend their lives looking for opportunity to puchase alcohol for me?

Signed,

The Sailor

Dear molder of young minds,

I don't think there is anything wrong with getting something for takin the time to share your wisdom with the youth of today. I can't be anymore harmful then 16 and pregnant. If MTV can promote a show to teenage women that if you go ahead and succumb to the constant advances o your secret boyfriend that your parents would kill you if they know about, then you to can become a TV personality star.

Believe me if Kim Kardashian wasn't already a useless celebrity and saw this show she would be turkey basting every boyfriend she fucks in hopes of getting herself pregnant.

What kind of knowledge are you sharing with them? Are you teaching them tey ways of literotica? You can take the everyday happenings of the playground and apply it to their daily lives.

For example the drama that the "popular" threads caused around here. People were crying because their names weren't on the threads instead of examining themselves a little deeper and asking themselves why. No that is too difficult. They would rather whine and cry because their name wasn't in a silly tread like whose av do you like.

So you can teach them that if kids don't like them there is a reason for it. Change your shitty attitude. Maybe quit being a whiny person and enjoy life. Guarantee if they do that then they would be in more "lists".

I hope you share this knowledge with the kids and make sure you get all the alcohol you possibly can because kids are annoying an loud. Might as well get drunk.

 

[availableslave2u]

dear clown hater,
i sent a pm to someone that i considered a friend a few months back. at the time, i believe there was a lot going on in that person's life. i never heard back from said person. should i just assume they were busy and forgot to respond? should i realize that said person doesn't want to correspond with me and forget it? should i cry? i'm confused and i know that you, oh wise clown hater, would be just the person to help an innocent woman like me out.
looking forward to your reply,
quiet, shy and innocent slavie

 

[availableslave2u]

i have another problem that only you can help me with.......
dear clowns,
my pussy insists on jumping up on the kitchen table. she knows that she shouldn't be on there, but she does it anyway. if i don't see that she's on there, she'll let out this pitiful meow until i look up and see her there.

if i spray my pussy with water, she just sits there until she's soaked. if i spank my pussy, she starts to purr. i'm not quite sure what to do next. any suggestions?
signed,
she with the naughty pussy

 

[Frizzle_Fry]

i have another problem that only you can help me with.......
dear clowns,
my pussy insists on jumping up on the kitchen table. she knows that she shouldn't be on there, but she does it anyway. if i don't see that she's on there, she'll let out this pitiful meow until i look up and see her there.

if i spray my pussy with water, she just sits there until she's soaked. if i spank my pussy, she starts to purr. i'm not quite sure what to do next. any suggestions?
signed,
she with the naughty pussy

Dear AS2U,

Sounds like you got a fire power problem....this should help.
http://inlinethumb56.webshots.com/37559/1353616242060019780S600x600Q85.jpg

Sincerely,
Get yer war face on.

 

[IhateClowns]

dear clown hater,
i sent a pm to someone that i considered a friend a few months back. at the time, i believe there was a lot going on in that person's life. i never heard back from said person. should i just assume they were busy and forgot to respond? should i realize that said person doesn't want to correspond with me and forget it? should i cry? i'm confused and i know that you, oh wise clown hater, would be just the person to help an innocent woman like me out.
looking forward to your reply,
quiet, shy and innocent slavie

Dear, YOU SHY??????

I think you should send them a PM again...Who wouldn't want to talk to the fabulous AS2U???? Cry? Hell no, you are better then that. Whoever they were send them my way. I will send the a strongly worded PM and then when they ignore me I will send another, and another and another.

Fuck em AS2U they don't deserve your friendship.

 

[IhateClowns]

i have another problem that only you can help me with.......
dear clowns,
my pussy insists on jumping up on the kitchen table. she knows that she shouldn't be on there, but she does it anyway. if i don't see that she's on there, she'll let out this pitiful meow until i look up and see her there.

if i spray my pussy with water, she just sits there until she's soaked. if i spank my pussy, she starts to purr. i'm not quite sure what to do next. any suggestions?
signed,
she with the naughty pussy

Dear one with the wet pussy,

Pussys are a finicky bunch. They like to be touched and petted the right way. If you don't show them love and attention they can turn on you quick and just do thei own thing. They are able to get off without your help just as much as they get on with it.

If I were you I would squirt your pussy. Perferrably with a vinegar based substance. For one it helps keep your pussy clean but also it helps your pussy feel relaxed and fresh. I also here pussy magnets work. Try getting a good looking pussy attractor. Certain pussy magnets can make a pussy do anything they want it to. Thy just have to feed it treats from time to time.

My suggestion it to show your pussy as much attention as possible, with the correct amount of love and attention your pussy will be happy, healthy and full of luster from its new glow.

Pussy Whisperer

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear AS2U,

Sounds like you got a fire power problem....this should help.
http://inlinethumb56.webshots.com/37559/1353616242060019780S600x600Q85.jpg

Sincerely,
Get yer war face on.

Or that could work as well

 

[IhateClowns]

i have another problem that only you can help me with.......
dear clowns,
my pussy insists on jumping up on the kitchen table. she knows that she shouldn't be on there, but she does it anyway. if i don't see that she's on there, she'll let out this pitiful meow until i look up and see her there.

if i spray my pussy with water, she just sits there until she's soaked. if i spank my pussy, she starts to purr. i'm not quite sure what to do next. any suggestions?
signed,
she with the naughty pussy

I hope you were able to tame your pussy.

 

[Farrah]

Dear Clowns,

How do I become more of a bitch? I feel like a door mat.

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns,

How do I become more of a bitch? I feel like a door mat.

Dear Door Mat,

A door mat is kind of like a rug and another term for a rug is pussy and vice versa. When you realize that you have a vagina you will no longer be a door mat. You see, a vagina is all empowering. A vagina rules all. You want our undivided attention? Take away the vagina and you will have us move back 3 spots to the left on the evolution scale.

Men, well most men can't live without vagina. Women who get walked all over don't know how to properly use the vagina to their advantage. Instead of giving away your vagina on the first date or within the first 10 minutes of meeting a fellow you might like try holding out a bit. We always like what we can't have.

Now please realize that with said power comes a certain responsibility. You have to maintain that rug. You have to keep it clean and trimmed. If you want a guy eating out of the palm or your pussy you need to make sure you don't have medusa hair growing out of the sides of it.

Also if you want a man fawning all over you and not treating ou like shit then make sure your pussy doesn't smell like shit either. Nothing worse then meeting the woman of your dreams, kissing down her stomach, to only feel like the garbage truck has just passed by your house and you do a complete reversal and fake a stomach ache.

So you want the upper hand? Then use the pussy to your advantage but don't over abuse the power, because men want pussy, but they don't want a cunt.

 

[Honey123]

Dear H8tr

what is it about me that makes people dislike me? I try very hard to be a nice person. I realize I don't have much time in my life and, if they took the time to get to know me and my reasons why, perhaps they wouldn't take offense?

Thanks,
Not quite sure what I do

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear H8tr

what is it about me that makes people dislike me? I try very hard to be a nice person. I realize I don't have much time in my life and, if they took the time to get to know me and my reasons why, perhaps they wouldn't take offense?

Thanks,
Not quite sure what I do

Dear are you kidding me,

Are you kidding me? Who doesn't like you? I think you are one of the most beautiful women inside and out that I have ever gotten the pleasure to know. I think the better question is what is wrong with them? Only thing I can imagine is that they are purely jealous.

As you know you have been one of my all time crushes on lit. Not jut because of your fabulous form, but because of your wit and charm as well. Don't let some knucklehead get you down they are not worth it. You are too beautiful an warm hearted to let them affect you.