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Dear Clowns

IhateClowns said:
Tried to send you a PM but understand why you might have your PM's blocked considering all of us ghouls on here. Just wantedd to say thanks for posting on the thread. You help keep it alive and it is much appreciated ;)
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Dear Clowns
I'm sorry that you had trouble sending a personal message, I have blocked PMs as an emergency measure, ironically pending a post seeking your advice on Lit ghouls.

Please can you tell me what action you recommend I take on PMs containing:
1. Unwanted and unsolicited graphic descriptions of weird sex acts either I should do or sender could do to me.
2. PMs with Oy! in the subject line and a one line "wanna chat?" in the message area.
3. Invitations to chat/voice/cam (either one liners as in 2 above or, creepily worse, a whole page of why the content of my posts in the last three months makes me the sender's soul mate), the sender of said invitation having been a Lit member since June 2000 and having made but one post over the past ten years.

I don't claim to receive thousands or even hundreds of these types of PMs. However you may appreciate that even one such PM in your inbox on an evening when you are otherwise tired/ emotional/ premenstrual may lead to the somewhat rash decision to disable PMs / block all but your most 'trusted' Litsters.

Yours in exile
 
lolaluscious said:
Dear Clowns
I'm sorry that you had trouble sending a personal message, I have blocked PMs as an emergency measure, ironically pending a post seeking your advice on Lit ghouls.

Please can you tell me what action you recommend I take on PMs containing:
1. Unwanted and unsolicited graphic descriptions of weird sex acts either I should do or sender could do to me.
2. PMs with Oy! in the subject line and a one line "wanna chat?" in the message area.
3. Invitations to chat/voice/cam (either one liners as in 2 above or, creepily worse, a whole page of why the content of my posts in the last three months makes me the sender's soul mate), the sender of said invitation having been a Lit member since June 2000 and having made but one post over the past ten years.

I don't claim to receive thousands or even hundreds of these types of PMs. However you may appreciate that even one such PM in your inbox on an evening when you are otherwise tired/ emotional/ premenstrual may lead to the somewhat rash decision to disable PMs / block all but your most 'trusted' Litsters.

Yours in exile
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Oh this is a good one..... I've received a few of those PM

I can't wait to see what clowns says!
 
lolaluscious said:
Dear Clowns
I'm sorry that you had trouble sending a personal message, I have blocked PMs as an emergency measure, ironically pending a post seeking your advice on Lit ghouls.

Please can you tell me what action you recommend I take on PMs containing:
1. Unwanted and unsolicited graphic descriptions of weird sex acts either I should do or sender could do to me.
2. PMs with Oy! in the subject line and a one line "wanna chat?" in the message area.
3. Invitations to chat/voice/cam (either one liners as in 2 above or, creepily worse, a whole page of why the content of my posts in the last three months makes me the sender's soul mate), the sender of said invitation having been a Lit member since June 2000 and having made but one post over the past ten years.

I don't claim to receive thousands or even hundreds of these types of PMs. However you may appreciate that even one such PM in your inbox on an evening when you are otherwise tired/ emotional/ premenstrual may lead to the somewhat rash decision to disable PMs / block all but your most 'trusted' Litsters.

Yours in exile
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Dear escaping as quickly as possible,

I think you need to understand something. YOu have a very sexy picture of your bewby in your av. A typical lit guy is automatically thinking those 10 rape stories he just read were about him and possibly you. Then to see your headline as outrageous flirt tells him he can ask if you wanna see his cock in the very first line of the very first PM he sends you.

I see your av as very sexy because it shows a little but not to much leaving something to the imagination. A typical lit guy sees your av as "She obviously wants to fuck me. Look she already has most of her clothes off." then he sees your headline and says"Hmmm outrageous flirt huh? That must mean she likes to be agressive and playful and has a cam and want to finger herself while I watch."

You think I am joking but you have to understand that most of the males on this site are thinking with the german army helmet that is dangling between their legs. So because all of the blood flow is trickling down south the lack of blood flowing north allows them to rationalize that by looking at your sexy av you obviously want them.

Do you take the block off of your PM's? Nooooooooooooo. That would be dangerous. I would start building an allowed to PM list. If yo see a guy posting and half his words don't consist of uh, duh, do me, some form of anal playor any combination of the above then you might want to add them to your PM list.

She is right though guys who are actually bored enough to read this. Don't start off a conversational pm by saying hello that is it. Or hi how are you. Try and be original. If you look like myself and your penis resembles a dried piece of fruit then I suggest you be funny. Ugly guys get the girls when they are funny. You are already funny looking so why not just be funny as well. It diverts there attention from the moles and hairlips and lets them focus more on what you are saying.

So lol I know it isn't the best advice but all I can say is block those you don't want to talk to and allow for PM's those you might ever want to hear from. Keep the av. it is sexy ;)
 
DirtyLittleDiva85 said:
My absolute favorite!! It's the only thread I have bookmarked! :D
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Wow I am honored. Thanks, you just made my night
Bitch_Goddess said:
You're giving free drinks now? Where do I get in line?
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I am passing out Kool-aid to all the followers. I would like for each of you to take a sip first. Then i will follow.
Rosemaryythyme said:
is it free drinks or kool-aid?!

can i coffee flavored kool-aid?!
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You and your coffee. Coffee flavored kool-aid just might be the worst sounding drink I have ever heard of
 
NawtyShutterBug said:
been drinkin' the IhateClowns flavoured kool-aid for some time now... it's delicious and nutritious!:D
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How awesome would that be to have my own flavor of Kool-aid. I think the only thing that would top that would be my own lavor of Ben and Jerry's. I think they would call it IHC's BS. Be some sort of banana strawberry mixture.
 
IhateClowns said:
How awesome would that be to have my own flavor of Kool-aid. I think the only thing that would top that would be my own lavor of Ben and Jerry's. I think they would call it IHC's BS. Be some sort of banana strawberry mixture.
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i don't know about the kool-aid but the ice cream sounds yummy!
 
IhateClowns said:
How awesome would that be to have my own flavor of Kool-aid. I think the only thing that would top that would be my own lavor of Ben and Jerry's. I think they would call it IHC's BS. Be some sort of banana strawberry mixture.
Click to expand...

mmm I bet IHC'd be nice and thick and creamy... oh shush! somebody was gonna say it so it may as well be the newbie around here!
 
IhateClowns said:
Wow I am honored. Thanks, you just made my night

I am passing out Kool-aid to all the followers. I would like for each of you to take a sip first. Then i will follow.


You and your coffee. Coffee flavored kool-aid just might be the worst sounding drink I have ever heard of
Click to expand...



ohh come on! Coffee Flavored kool-aid could totally rock

lets just think this through for a second...

ok its a terrible idea
could i just have coffee instead?
 
IhateClowns said:
Dear escaping as quickly as possible

She is right though guys who are actually bored enough to read this. Don't start off a conversational pm by saying hello that is it. Or hi how are you. Try and be original. If you look like myself and your penis resembles a dried piece of fruit then I suggest you be funny.

So lol I know it isn't the best advice but all I can say is block those you don't want to talk to and allow for PM's those you might ever want to hear from. Keep the av. it is sexy ;)
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Dear Clowns,

Thanks for the insight into the mind of your typical Lit guy, it makes fascinating reading. Lol.

I have taken your advice and started my 'allowed to PM' list, using your suggested phrases (and a few other choice exclusion criteria. I was going to list the full inclusion criteria here for your approval, but that would be telling.

I would commend you also on your advice to guys who may not necessarily be your George Clooney/ Brad Pitt 'lookers'. Absolutely solid, as usual, and made me giggle, well done.

Yours gratefully,
Buddy List Gal*
 
Rosemaryythyme said:
ohh come on! Coffee Flavored kool-aid could totally rock

lets just think this through for a second...

ok its a terrible idea
could i just have coffee instead?
Click to expand...

You can have whatever you wish. I think i will stick with lots and lots of shots to somehow keep the loyal fans sticking around
 
lolaluscious said:
Dear Clowns,

Thanks for the insight into the mind of your typical Lit guy, it makes fascinating reading. Lol.

I have taken your advice and started my 'allowed to PM' list, using your suggested phrases (and a few other choice exclusion criteria. I was going to list the full inclusion criteria here for your approval, but that would be telling.

I would commend you also on your advice to guys who may not necessarily be your George Clooney/ Brad Pitt 'lookers'. Absolutely solid, as usual, and made me giggle, well done.

Yours gratefully,
Buddy List Gal*
Click to expand...

Awwww well I am glad you are opening up a bit. Now don't go to far mind you there are some of us that are still very creepy and dangerous. Might I suggest installing a keyhole in your door. That way you can at least get a decent look at what is out there. Then you can decide on either never opening pandora's box or keeping it shut for good.
 
Dear Clowns,

Your thread is hilarious.

I'm hoping you could give me some advice- how do you recommend a new member get acquainted with Lit?
 
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