Dear Clowns

[IhateClowns]

Dear IHC:

I love getting to know people, and making new friends, thus for me IM is a nifty little program. It seems that regardless of my IM status (invisible usually, or busy) that there will always be people that IM me...which I don't mind, but it gets to the point that there have been as many as 6+ chat screens open, and even if I let these people know I'm chatting w/ someone else already, they still keep on trying to chat w/ me -even after I've dropped the old "TTYL" -in the hopes they get the hint. I really don't like to ignore people... but what would you suggest I do, so that I can keep my fingers attached?

In the realm of Yahoo... Buzz!

Dear bombarded in buzz land,

I suggest you do as I have done over the years. Get what you want out of them and then block them. It works for me. I have so many people blocked and reported as spam it is just silly. If you are chatting with me and start to get annoying, I say I gotta run and you get blaocked. It doesn't mean you are blocked forever, but I will have you blocked until I might be interested in chatting with you again.

A few rules that will get you blocked instantly with me on yahoo.

1) If you are afraid to show your vagina to me then then move along I am not here to hear your views about the oild spill. Spread em and grin for me.....

2) If you use the smiley icons too fucking much then you are being blocked. I will use a wink or smile every once in a while. But if you do it consistently then I am done. There is nothing more annoying then someone using too many smiley's

3) If I am talking to someone else, don't ask me who i am talking to and don't expect me to get off my discussionw ith them to talk to you unless you are naked and have a toy up your puss puss. You will get blocked if I say i will TTYL and you say but wait...But nothing! Blocked

4) You want me to turn on my cam and you don't have one. Blocked. You don't get to see my 3 incher if I don't get to see your toddler tunnel

5) I am not the greatest tyer in the world. You start correcting my grammar or spelling and well you might as well never expect to talk to me again.

So i suggest you follow these rules SD. It will help you out immensley. Pls you will get to see more pussy this way....

 

[lolaluscious]

Are you calling me old?? I was carded for buying beer just 10 years ago damn it!!!!

Well now that I realise that it isn't your birthday every other week, maybe I'll call your av a 'classic' rather than an oldie...

 

[IhateClowns]

Well now that I realise that it isn't your birthday every other week, maybe I'll call your av a 'classic' rather than an oldie...

Ha touche' Ms. Lola....You are right. I think I have had this one up once or twice before. I just always forget that I have

 

[LusterMunky]

Dear Clowns,

I have a multitude of challenging issues about which I would like to seek advice. I have someone in mind, but in doing my due diligence it turns out the potential advice-giver talks a lot about his penis, listens to Howard Stern, and watches tons of teevee like Jersey Shore, Big Brother, Cops, The Real Housewives of Atlanta, etc. etc. Would you recommend seeking life's wisdom from such an individual, or should I find someone who never watches television (except for CSPAN), listens only to NPR on the radio, and doesn't have a penis.

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns,

I have a multitude of challenging issues about which I would like to seek advice. I have someone in mind, but in doing my due diligence it turns out the potential advice-giver talks a lot about his penis, listens to Howard Stern, and watches tons of teevee like Jersey Shore, Big Brother, Cops, The Real Housewives of Atlanta, etc. etc. Would you recommend seeking life's wisdom from such an individual, or should I find someone who never watches television (except for CSPAN), listens only to NPR on the radio, and doesn't have a penis.

I would highly suggest you find someone more qualified then this yahoo sounds like. Who is he to be able to give advice to others? Who are these people he is giving advice to? Sounds like a douchemoron. No offense Douchemoron.

I would sugest you get advice from a person of great strength and character such as Dr. Laura. She seems like she has her head screwed on straight. Better yet why not get your love advice from the chick on the radio at night. I think her name is Delilah. She has only been divorced 2 or 3 times so she certainly knows what she is talking about.

I wish you the best in your search my friend. Don't pay attention to anyone that spends time watch Jersey Shore and Real Housewives of any city with a skyline. Good luck

 

[Daizie]

Dear Clowns,

How was Climax? No, not your climax, I meant your trip to Climax?

~Curious Reader

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns,

How was Climax? No, not your climax, I meant your trip to Climax?

~Curious Reader

Dear curious,

Unfortunately I did not get to go as we had a death on the other side of the family. There is that saying that goes something like, through tragedy comes triumph...My triumph was not having to go to Climax....

 

[Husker1987]

Dear Clowns,

I had a dreadfully long day yesterday, driving over 500 miles to and from Kansas in less than 10 hours. Anyway, as I was on my way home I passed a sign on the road that said, "Marge's: Liquor in the front, Poker in the Rear." Well, being a lover of all things female, such as yourself, I pulled over and decided to go in and give Marge a go (thought this stuff was only legal in Nevada...who knew?)

I walked into the joint, dropped trou and asked in a very friendly manner, "Where's Marge? I'm ready for some lickin' and pokin'" Imagine my surprise when I heard dead silence and looked around the room to find 6 guys sitting around a bar, drinking beer and watching Magnum PI reruns. Boy was I red in the face. I meekly asked where the pokin' was going on. The bartender looked at me kinda cross and then turned his head to the back of the bar. I followed his gaze and, as you might imagine, was not happy to see that in the back was actually two poker tables. How could I be so mistaken Clowns? Why is my mind in the gutter?

I high tailed it outta Dodge and headed for the boarder as fast as I could...I think Marge knows people, if you know what I mean. As I neared the boarder I saw a sign that said, "Leaving Kansas, come again" I had no idea why or what was happening, but I pulled over to the side of the road and well....did just that. This isn't normal is it?

Is something wrong with me Clowns? Why is everything I'm seeing and hearing reminding me of sex? I don't understand.

Any advice you can give me to explain my predickamint (dammit, see what I mean) would be appreciated.

Sincerely,

Pandering in the Panhandle

P.S. Shit, hurry Clowns, I just heard "If You See Kay" on the radio.......FUCK, it's everywhere bro.

 

[lovemonster]

Dear Clowns,

I've met this guy and we've been talking about taking his anal virginity. I know he's really keen, but he doesn't want me to know, so he's playing it down.

Of course I don't want to go at it hammer and tongs, but I want him to enjoy it. Any advice on how to proceed?

LM

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns,

I had a dreadfully long day yesterday, driving over 500 miles to and from Kansas in less than 10 hours. Anyway, as I was on my way home I passed a sign on the road that said, "Marge's: Liquor in the front, Poker in the Rear." Well, being a lover of all things female, such as yourself, I pulled over and decided to go in and give Marge a go (thought this stuff was only legal in Nevada...who knew?)

I walked into the joint, dropped trou and asked in a very friendly manner, "Where's Marge? I'm ready for some lickin' and pokin'" Imagine my surprise when I heard dead silence and looked around the room to find 6 guys sitting around a bar, drinking beer and watching Magnum PI reruns. Boy was I red in the face. I meekly asked where the pokin' was going on. The bartender looked at me kinda cross and then turned his head to the back of the bar. I followed his gaze and, as you might imagine, was not happy to see that in the back was actually two poker tables. How could I be so mistaken Clowns? Why is my mind in the gutter?

I high tailed it outta Dodge and headed for the boarder as fast as I could...I think Marge knows people, if you know what I mean. As I neared the boarder I saw a sign that said, "Leaving Kansas, come again" I had no idea why or what was happening, but I pulled over to the side of the road and well....did just that. This isn't normal is it?

Is something wrong with me Clowns? Why is everything I'm seeing and hearing reminding me of sex? I don't understand.

Any advice you can give me to explain my predickamint (dammit, see what I mean) would be appreciated.

Sincerely,

Pandering in the Panhandle

P.S. Shit, hurry Clowns, I just heard "If You See Kay" on the radio.......FUCK, it's everywhere bro.

Dear Pandering,

You need to get laid.

(Fuck that might be the best advice I have ever given)

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns,

I've met this guy and we've been talking about taking his anal virginity. I know he's really keen, but he doesn't want me to know, so he's playing it down.

Of course I don't want to go at it hammer and tongs, but I want him to enjoy it. Any advice on how to proceed?

LM

Dear LM,

I know this fella quite well. I highly doubt you were actively talking about taking his anal virginity in a calm relaxing way as you seem to suggest it. Make it sound like the two of you went from "I had eggs and toast for breakfast" immediately to"so i was thinking 2 tubes of lube should be enough don't ya think?"

I can tell what a sweet gal you are by letting me know that you don' want to hammer the strap-on into his ass like hammer and tongs as you put it. I am sure the "my friend" will appreciate you being delicate as a flower when you decide to take his flower from him.

I cannot blame the guy for playing it down a couple of notches. As excited as you, Ms. Texas and Janeyl are excited about taking his ass from him, oh and RB and Lance wanting to film and sell it, I can completely understand why he might be the sensible on in the group. Downplaying it might just save him from rocketing yoohoo out of his ass for the next week.

So how do you go about proceeding with this trophey you game hunters want? I would suggest alcohol, some handcuffs, lube and an enema so you don't end up having to pay extra for the hotel sheets. Please realize that he will be eating broccoli, chili, and bean dip prior to meeting up with you ladies.

Good luck

 

[Sensualdreamer]

DEAR IHC...

I really enjoy your hilarious antics on your CL posts. My question is this. Why don't you link that thread in your siggy line?

Sincerely Linked in

 

[IhateClowns]

DEAR IHC...

I really enjoy your hilarious antics on your CL posts. My question is this. Why don't you link that thread in your siggy line?

Sincerely Linked in

Dear Linked,

Honestly because I am bad with details. Thank you for pointing that out for me. Not sure I will put a link to the CL page just yet because it doesn't seem to be taking off and I am unsure if anyone besides yourself actually reads it. I will keep it going for a bit longer, see if it takes off then adjust the signature appropriately. Thank you again for helping me realize that cunt Mildred is still in my signature.

 

[lovemonster]

Dear LM,

I know this fella quite well. I highly doubt you were actively talking about taking his anal virginity in a calm relaxing way as you seem to suggest it. Make it sound like the two of you went from "I had eggs and toast for breakfast" immediately to"so i was thinking 2 tubes of lube should be enough don't ya think?"

I can tell what a sweet gal you are by letting me know that you don' want to hammer the strap-on into his ass like hammer and tongs as you put it. I am sure the "my friend" will appreciate you being delicate as a flower when you decide to take his flower from him.

I cannot blame the guy for playing it down a couple of notches. As excited as you, Ms. Texas and Janeyl are excited about taking his ass from him, oh and RB and Lance wanting to film and sell it, I can completely understand why he might be the sensible on in the group. Downplaying it might just save him from rocketing yoohoo out of his ass for the next week.

So how do you go about proceeding with this trophey you game hunters want? I would suggest alcohol, some handcuffs, lube and an enema so you don't end up having to pay extra for the hotel sheets. Please realize that he will be eating broccoli, chili, and bean dip prior to meeting up with you ladies.

Good luck

Dear Clowny,

Thanks for getting back to me so promptly.

Let me assure you, he's so desperate for me, Ms Texas and Janey to deflower his ass, he's playing hard to get at the moment just to give us more encouragement.

I am indeed a sweet gal, and I even offered to buy the most expensive lube on the market just to let him know how much I cherish his butt. Of course, once he starts a-moanin' and a-groanin' with pleasure, I'll have to hammer the crap out of him, but I felt it might be best to ease him into it with the 14 incher first.

Of course, we're yet to negotiate marketing rights on the dvd, but as soon as I get the other girlies to sign the contracts, we'll have a sure fire winner on our hands and the whole world can get to see just how much he enjoys it!

To be fair, the more brocolli, chilli and bean dip he has, the better, saves us on the lube and as for the enema, we can just upend a bottle of cobra into him first! I'll make sure GA let's us borrow the plastic sheeting just in case though. If he doesn't survive, at least we'll find it easier to dispose of the body.

Yours,

LM
x

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowny,

Thanks for getting back to me so promptly.

Let me assure you, he's so desperate for me, Ms Texas and Janey to deflower his ass, he's playing hard to get at the moment just to give us more encouragement.

I am indeed a sweet gal, and I even offered to buy the most expensive lube on the market just to let him know how much I cherish his butt. Of course, once he starts a-moanin' and a-groanin' with pleasure, I'll have to hammer the crap out of him, but I felt it might be best to ease him into it with the 14 incher first.

Of course, we're yet to negotiate marketing rights on the dvd, but as soon as I get the other girlies to sign the contracts, we'll have a sure fire winner on our hands and the whole world can get to see just how much he enjoys it!

To be fair, the more brocolli, chilli and bean dip he has, the better, saves us on the lube and as for the enema, we can just upend a bottle of cobra into him first! I'll make sure GA let's us borrow the plastic sheeting just in case though. If he doesn't survive, at least we'll find it easier to dispose of the body.

Yours,

LM
x

Since there is no question here there is not much else I can respond to. I will let you know that he has hired a lawyer to help him negotiate a few details. You know like film rights, how many inches can actually be inserted. He has hired some screaming lawyer he saw on tv commercials in between late night infomercials. By the way he told me the shake weight works wonders. Anyway the lawyer who specializes in mesothelioma cases likes the challenge associated with this case.

Good Luck.

 

[lovemonster]

Since there is no question here there is not much else I can respond to. I will let you know that he has hired a lawyer to help him negotiate a few details. You know like film rights, how many inches can actually be inserted. He has hired some screaming lawyer he saw on tv commercials in between late night infomercials. By the way he told me the shake weight works wonders. Anyway the lawyer who specializes in mesothelioma cases likes the challenge associated with this case.

Good Luck.

Dear Clowny,

Should I go for Astroglide or KY for maximum slipperyness?

Yours,
LM
x

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowny,

Should I go for Astroglide or KY for maximum slipperyness?

Yours,
LM
x

Dear lube lost,

I would suggest you just spit on it. I mean if we are going to take his heiny hymen as well as any masculinity he has left, which by the way isn't much due to the miniature dachsunds he walks each night around his neighborhood, why not just take the rest of it?

Might as well bend him over, slap his ass, call him Suzie, paint tits on his back, rubberband his dick and balls together, slide an ankle sock over them, and spit on his balloon knot a few times. Give the thruster a few gentle pushes, if it still isnkt going in, stand him up straight. The amount of sweat that will be pouring off of him will settle nicely in the crack of his ass. Not only wil that provide enough lube, but it will also provide a nice sting, when that salty sweat stars creeping into the taint tear that will inevitably take place.

By the way you might want to put a painters tarp down to collect and hide any DNA evidence that will undoubtedly drip out of him.

 

[Millianthe]

Dear Clowns;

What is the best obscene gesture to use when the minivan weilding mother cuts you off so sharply in traffic you can see the first three layers of paint blow off your car? Mind you, she had four of her precious "darlings" in the car while she was yammering on her cell phone probably about a play date.

Signed
Using a silencer for the Baby on Board sign

 

[IhateClowns]

Dear Clowns;

What is the best obscene gesture to use when the minivan weilding mother cuts you off so sharply in traffic you can see the first three layers of paint blow off your car? Mind you, she had four of her precious "darlings" in the car while she was yammering on her cell phone probably about a play date.

Signed
Using a silencer for the Baby on Board sign

Dear Momma Mauler,

I think first off you need to understand the typical day of a mom of 4 before you decide to pop a shot into her forehead. By the way that might be instant relief for her.

730am-The first kid wakes up and it is in their DNA to immediately wake everyone else up in the house.

731am-Mom is cussing under her breath begging them to give her another hour of sleep and wondering how the baby benadryl has worn off already

732am-The two year old has climbed, crawled under, and MacGuivered his way out of the military style fortress she have set up at his door to not allow him to escape when he is put to bed each night.

733am-The escapee is incessantly tapping his stubby fingers against mom's forehead saying Momma, MOMMA, MOMA, louder and louder as if you are a deaf mute in a coma.

735am-All 4 kids are now in mom's room jumping up and down on the bed as mom continues to feign sleep.

736am-kids are whispering to each other, all you hear is the word launch

737am-The 2 year old is crying furiously as he lay upside down against the highboy dresser from being double bounced and launched off the bed like baby Superman.

738am-Momma has gotten her morning crack by immediately sitting upright and spanking the 3 other kids for breaking the little one's neck. Momma feels a bit better about things and although the 2 year old is screaming, takes a moment to stretch and survey the damage to her bedroom caused by her 4 little gems.

739am-Momma has decided that the 2 year olds crying has gotten so annoying she has no choice but to get them.

740am-Momma grabs kid by broken neck and tells them to hush. It is ok, and brobes the kid by saying if you shut up I will take you all to Chucky Cheese today. This causes an orgasmic eruption from the kids and they immediately stop bouncing on the bed and the 2 year olds neck magically isn't broken anymore.

745am-Momma is cussing her husband up and down for not having a professinal install the baby gate as she goes into convulsions shaking the fuck out of the gate trying to get it open. Then all of a sudden she hears the 2 year old say "fuck daddy" and although she smiles largely on the inside she has to turn and say no no you can't say that. Of course then just eggs them on and now all 4 kids are screaming fuck dada.

8am-After fixing all 4 kiddos their breakfast momma has to listen to each of themm bitch and whine as they incessantly go on about how they wanted cereal instead of oat meal. Momma threatens no Chucky Cheese for the 2nd time and they instantly shut up.

830am-Momma piles the dishes high into the sink and looks them over. I will just do them later she thinks and then turns to see that the older kids and put the 2 year inside the fire place and are trying to figure out how to turn on the gas.

859am-After spanking #2 and having to give the 2 year old a bath, momma realizes that her favorite show Ellen is coming on. Slapping a diaper on th kid she hurries the kid back to the living room to find out the other 3 kids have found markers and decided that it was doodle time and since there was no paper to be found, the walls and tables would make fine canvasses.

915am-After spanking #3 sits down to watch Ellen while the kids are strapped down like Hannibal Lecter so she can enjoy Ellen. Damn it she missed Ellen dancing around the audience like a lunatic. That is her favorite part. Oh well, at least she wil get to see some lucky woman win a new car and her bills paid off as momma stares at her little dumplings fidgeting wide eyed through the masks they are wearing.

11am-Kids are whining about Chucky Cheese. Momma regrets that she ever mentioned it and forgets that the kids have a memory like a steel trap when it comes to pizza and loud noises. Now ask them to clean their room or put something away and they turn into Terry Shivo on her worst days.

1130am-Momma begins the process of getting everyone ready to go to Chucky Cheese for lunch. Getting the kids dressed, and ready to go take 45 minutes and is a nightmare because the older ones hate what momma picked ou for them to wear. After spanking #4 and a threat of not going to Chucky Cheese they decide what momma chose for them to wear is just fine.

115pm-After finally gettng the kids dressed, the bags packed, and the kids finallyinto the car, momma is finally back out of the drive. Of course the oldest continues to forget to put his bike in the garage after they are done with it and she of course runs over it blowing a tire out, which causes such a loud noise all 4 kids start crying very loudly.

3pm-Momma finally has the tire changed and even though the kids are still strapped down in the car, she decides she needs a shower. Does she get them all out of the car to do so? Hell no. She just pops in a dvd and says she will be back in a bit.

330pm-Momma is finally back in the car. 3 kids are passed out from carbon monoxide poisoning and the 4th is still focused on the sponge bob square pants cartoon that is playing for the 12th time in a row.

400pm-They finally pull up to Chucky Cheese and that is when Momma realizes the kids are not just asleep. In a panic she screams out "WE'RE HERE!" and miraculously the kids wake up as if nothing happened.

530pm-After 5 more spanking, 2 broken bones, an arguement with another parent, a massive migraine from the light and sound show coming from a 6' ft anamitronic mouse, a rescue effort in the ball pit, and 3 of the kids swallowing tokens, Momma straps the kids back into the car and heads home.

550pm-Momma needs to get over in the right lane immediately, but there is a woman that won't let her over. So she counts to 3 and then forcfully makes her way over causing the woman behind her to honk her horn and threaten her. Momma just smirks and thinks to herself, "please kill me and put me out of my misery."

630PM-Dada omes home and bitches about what a lousy day it was. How stressful his job is and that momma is so lucky she doesn't have to deal with the bullshit he does all the time.

645pm-Dada asks momma what are we having for dinner tonight I am starving. Momma calmly looks at dada and asks the kids to come into the room. There she asks the kids what did we learn about dada today. That is when the kids all together scream out "Fuck Dada!"


So Momma Mauler sometimes we just need to let the mamas of the world the opportunity to just cut us off. There isn't a gesture in the world that is going to cause any harm to her what-so-ever. She is impervious to that stuff. The phone call she was on was to a suicide prevention hotline. You can give her the finger, you can shoot her, you can do whatever you wish to her, but she is impervious to all of it.

You just have to suck it up dear.

 

[chargergirl]

Dear Momma Mauler,

I think first off you need to understand the typical day of a mom of 4 before you decide to pop a shot into her forehead. By the way that might be instant relief for her.

730am-The first kid wakes up and it is in their DNA to immediately wake everyone else up in the house.

731am-Mom is cussing under her breath begging them to give her another hour of sleep and wondering how the baby benadryl has worn off already

732am-The two year old has climbed, crawled under, and MacGuivered his way out of the military style fortress she have set up at his door to not allow him to escape when he is put to bed each night.

733am-The escapee is incessantly tapping his stubby fingers against mom's forehead saying Momma, MOMMA, MOMA, louder and louder as if you are a deaf mute in a coma.

735am-All 4 kids are now in mom's room jumping up and down on the bed as mom continues to feign sleep.

736am-kids are whispering to each other, all you hear is the word launch

737am-The 2 year old is crying furiously as he lay upside down against the highboy dresser from being double bounced and launched off the bed like baby Superman.

738am-Momma has gotten her morning crack by immediately sitting upright and spanking the 3 other kids for breaking the little one's neck. Momma feels a bit better about things and although the 2 year old is screaming, takes a moment to stretch and survey the damage to her bedroom caused by her 4 little gems.

739am-Momma has decided that the 2 year olds crying has gotten so annoying she has no choice but to get them.

740am-Momma grabs kid by broken neck and tells them to hush. It is ok, and brobes the kid by saying if you shut up I will take you all to Chucky Cheese today. This causes an orgasmic eruption from the kids and they immediately stop bouncing on the bed and the 2 year olds neck magically isn't broken anymore.

745am-Momma is cussing her husband up and down for not having a professinal install the baby gate as she goes into convulsions shaking the fuck out of the gate trying to get it open. Then all of a sudden she hears the 2 year old say "fuck daddy" and although she smiles largely on the inside she has to turn and say no no you can't say that. Of course then just eggs them on and now all 4 kids are screaming fuck dada.

8am-After fixing all 4 kiddos their breakfast momma has to listen to each of themm bitch and whine as they incessantly go on about how they wanted cereal instead of oat meal. Momma threatens no Chucky Cheese for the 2nd time and they instantly shut up.

830am-Momma piles the dishes high into the sink and looks them over. I will just do them later she thinks and then turns to see that the older kids and put the 2 year inside the fire place and are trying to figure out how to turn on the gas.

859am-After spanking #2 and having to give the 2 year old a bath, momma realizes that her favorite show Ellen is coming on. Slapping a diaper on th kid she hurries the kid back to the living room to find out the other 3 kids have found markers and decided that it was doodle time and since there was no paper to be found, the walls and tables would make fine canvasses.

915am-After spanking #3 sits down to watch Ellen while the kids are strapped down like Hannibal Lecter so she can enjoy Ellen. Damn it she missed Ellen dancing around the audience like a lunatic. That is her favorite part. Oh well, at least she wil get to see some lucky woman win a new car and her bills paid off as momma stares at her little dumplings fidgeting wide eyed through the masks they are wearing.

11am-Kids are whining about Chucky Cheese. Momma regrets that she ever mentioned it and forgets that the kids have a memory like a steel trap when it comes to pizza and loud noises. Now ask them to clean their room or put something away and they turn into Terry Shivo on her worst days.

1130am-Momma begins the process of getting everyone ready to go to Chucky Cheese for lunch. Getting the kids dressed, and ready to go take 45 minutes and is a nightmare because the older ones hate what momma picked ou for them to wear. After spanking #4 and a threat of not going to Chucky Cheese they decide what momma chose for them to wear is just fine.

115pm-After finally gettng the kids dressed, the bags packed, and the kids finallyinto the car, momma is finally back out of the drive. Of course the oldest continues to forget to put his bike in the garage after they are done with it and she of course runs over it blowing a tire out, which causes such a loud noise all 4 kids start crying very loudly.

3pm-Momma finally has the tire changed and even though the kids are still strapped down in the car, she decides she needs a shower. Does she get them all out of the car to do so? Hell no. She just pops in a dvd and says she will be back in a bit.

330pm-Momma is finally back in the car. 3 kids are passed out from carbon monoxide poisoning and the 4th is still focused on the sponge bob square pants cartoon that is playing for the 12th time in a row.

400pm-They finally pull up to Chucky Cheese and that is when Momma realizes the kids are not just asleep. In a panic she screams out "WE'RE HERE!" and miraculously the kids wake up as if nothing happened.

530pm-After 5 more spanking, 2 broken bones, an arguement with another parent, a massive migraine from the light and sound show coming from a 6' ft anamitronic mouse, a rescue effort in the ball pit, and 3 of the kids swallowing tokens, Momma straps the kids back into the car and heads home.

550pm-Momma needs to get over in the right lane immediately, but there is a woman that won't let her over. So she counts to 3 and then forcfully makes her way over causing the woman behind her to honk her horn and threaten her. Momma just smirks and thinks to herself, "please kill me and put me out of my misery."

630PM-Dada omes home and bitches about what a lousy day it was. How stressful his job is and that momma is so lucky she doesn't have to deal with the bullshit he does all the time.

645pm-Dada asks momma what are we having for dinner tonight I am starving. Momma calmly looks at dada and asks the kids to come into the room. There she asks the kids what did we learn about dada today. That is when the kids all together scream out "Fuck Dada!"


So Momma Mauler sometimes we just need to let the mamas of the world the opportunity to just cut us off. There isn't a gesture in the world that is going to cause any harm to her what-so-ever. She is impervious to that stuff. The phone call she was on was to a suicide prevention hotline. You can give her the finger, you can shoot her, you can do whatever you wish to her, but she is impervious to all of it.

You just have to suck it up dear.

Best. Line. Ever.

Though I love my husband to pieces, that is just hysterical.

 

[IhateClowns]

Best. Line. Ever.

Though I love my husband to pieces, that is just hysterical.

LOL glad you enjoyed

 

[msmaggie]

Dear Momma Mauler,

I think first off you need to understand the typical day of a mom of 4 before you decide to pop a shot into her forehead. By the way that might be instant relief for her.

You just have to suck it up dear.

I think you summed that up very well.

 

[IhateClowns]

I think you summed that up very well.

So I should have just stuck with those few sentences to get my point across then. Damn I tend to ramble a lot. Could have saved myself quite a bit of time then.

 

[msmaggie]

So I should have just stuck with those few sentences to get my point across then. Damn I tend to ramble a lot. Could have saved myself quite a bit of time then.

Nooooo...the rambling is what made it perfect. I just didn't want to fill the page up quoting the whole thing...

 

[IhateClowns]

Nooooo...the rambling is what made it perfect. I just didn't want to fill the page up quoting the whole thing...

I know I was just messing with the woman I would never take a bet with