Dealing with rude comments

[DonnaBeck]

Hello, I am new and would like to know how other writers deal with rude anonymous comments. I don't mind constructive criticism of course, but just calling me a "wanker?" (Is it proper to call a woman a wanker?)

 

[sr71plt]

If they really annoy me and seem to be about me rather than the story, I just delete them. I never answer back. They'd love to get into a spitting match with you.

 

[lovecraft68]

Hi, welcome to the AH!

Two schools of thought on this. The first is to delete them if they bother you. The site gives you the option to do so.

The second is to just leave it there.

Personally that is what I do. My reasoning is that what do trolls want? Attention. You delete the remark they feel they got to you and are more likely to come back.

Leaving it there is saying, "Yeah, whatever"

A lot of us get a kick out of them and post some of the most over the top ones and laugh at them.

But you're the author so you need to decide what is best for you.

 

[Hypoxia]

Some of my stories have generated a lot of hate, with nasty comments and low votes.

Low votes: "one-bombing", where a vicious reader or three rates all my entries at one star. My response to that has been to not allow voting. I'm not here for brownie points.

Nasty comments: I have deleted a couple of the most irrelevant, but I mostly leave them, and even showcase them. I especially love those where the commenter has obviously NOT read the piece. I wear these as a badge of honor.

 

[Saxon_Hart]

I would never dream of blocking or deleting anonymice. They are too entertaining. Read their comment, laugh at their ingenuity, or lack thereof and enjoy being a published author.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Hello, I am new and would like to know how other writers deal with rude anonymous comments. I don't mind constructive criticism of course, but just calling me a "wanker?" (Is it proper to call a woman a wanker?)

Roughly speaking: if it's rude but has something coherent to say about the story, even if it's just "boring and too slow", I'll leave it up. If it's just personal abuse or something else that's not relevant to the story, I'd probably delete it. I haven't had something like that so far, but I've seen them on others.

 

[MSTarot]

I set up one rule to follow about comments. "I will not be 'Cussed' in my own comment section."

You can say anything you like to me. I don't care. Some anon calling me names hurt me not in the least.

But I have to look at those comments when I'm looking at my recent event and looking over old stories. I'm not going to have to leave a comment up there where I have to see George Carlin's 7 words every time I open the story's comment page.

One rule.

Lol. I got called a coward on my last story and told that I delete all the bad comments.

I find it funny because the Anon said "She's doing this."

Read my bio you twit.

 

[sr71plt]

When they complain that you are deleting their comments, (A) you are irritating them back (that's a good thing) and (B) they are trying to assert control over you (which is a good reason to continue to delete the comments).

 

[lovecraft68]

I set up one rule to follow about comments. "I will not be 'Cussed' in my own comment section."

You can say anything you like to me. I don't care. Some anon calling me names hurt me not in the least.

But I have to look at those comments when I'm looking at my recent event and looking over old stories. I'm not going to have to leave a comment up there where I have to see George Carlin's 7 words every time I open the story's comment page.

One rule.

Lol. I got called a coward on my last story and told that I delete all the bad comments.

I find it funny because the Anon said "She's doing this."

Read my bio you twit.

What an idiot. What did he do call you a Gypsy Queen?

 

[lovecraft68]

When they complain that you are deleting their comments, (A) you are irritating them back (that's a good thing) and (B) they are trying to assert control over you (which is a good reason to continue to delete the comments).

And they comment

and you delete it

and they comment

and you delete it

etc... etc....

My feeling is they will be laughing harder than you.

In my experience I have not seen the same troll slam me twice on a story. Leave their stupidity up there and they don't come back.

They your fans can comment on their stupidity and that will piss them off.

 

[jezzaz]

It is the reality of posting on Lit.

No matter where you post, and no matter what you post, someone is going to dislike it, and since they can post anon and not ever have to deal with the consequences of their words (or stand by them), they'll do it.

Some people just exist to be nasty to others. There's nothing you can really do about their state of mind.

How you police your own comments though is up to you. The controls exist for you to remove comments you don't like and it's entirely up to you if you choose to use them or not.

There's no judgement on if you do or if you don't - it's your call.

 

[nomoretears00]

Comments

If you post for free, self pub, or use a publisher you're going to run into ugly comments/reviews. That's just part of this.

But as far as here... I have deleted comments that harassed my Lit editor. Otherwise, I leave the comments, even ones that were unkind. Honestly, I don't get many snarky comments on my stuff. I write M/M.

*laugh* I've been raked over the coals by my fair share of M/M reviewers, so I'm pretty used to it by now. I just shake my head, mutter a few choice words, and move on.

 

[MSTarot]

What an idiot. What did he do call you a Gypsy Queen?

LOL

 

[LaRascasse]

Ah, the age old issue of what to do with comments....

May I hazard a guess that these comments came to you in the fine LW section of yonder fair site? If so, you will be delighted to know that epics have been written on the state of commentators and their less than tasteful attempts at letting you know their thoughts on the story.

Thankfully, the worst comments I get are about how dark and cynical my world view is. I do have a few horribly misspelled gems which I actually keep up simply for entertainment value.

 

[Bert_Fegg]

Hello, I am new and would like to know how other writers deal with rude anonymous comments. I don't mind constructive criticism of course, but just calling me a "wanker?" (Is it proper to call a woman a wanker?)

Lots of good advice here and nothing for me to add on that score really. Personally I've always enjoyed it when people whose work I admire, post compilations of their hate mail, and it seems to me that it sends out a good message - but you have to find out what works best for you.

It's always proper to call a woman a wanker, just as it is a man - based on the assumption that only two types of people exist in the world: Wankers and Liars

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I cant name a LIT contributor who doesn't relish bogus praise and ass slurping. Prolly 99% of us have tender candy asses when it comes to hostile opinions.

 

[Bert_Fegg]

This is true, but then why wouldn't it be? - blowjobs feel good and kicks in the nuts feel bad regardless of the sincerity with which they're delivered

Wish I knew who said this, [but somebody famous] said it was ok to discount everything bad that people said about you, as long as you disregarded the good stuff too. good advice I thought. Tomorrow for sure I'll start following it...

I cant name a LIT contributor who doesn't relish bogus praise and ass slurping. Prolly 99% of us have tender candy asses when it comes to hostile opinions.

 

[patientlee]

Wank sounds like yank. Women don't have anything to yank, so we don't call what we do wanking. It's like MST being called she. You just feel like the commenter is missing something.

It bugs me when people call me an asshole. Get it right. I'm a fucking bitch.

I'm pretty sure the offers to write the dictionary are going to start rolling in.

 

[lovecraft68]

Wank sounds like yank. Women don't have anything to yank, so we don't call what we do wanking. It's like MST being called she. You just feel like the commenter is missing something.

It bugs me when people call me an asshole. Get it right. I'm a fucking bitch.

I'm pretty sure the offers to write the dictionary are going to start rolling in.

I'll trade your "asshole" comments for some of my "stupid bitch" comments.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

This is true, but then why wouldn't it be? - blowjobs feel good and kicks in the nuts feel bad regardless of the sincerity with which they're delivered

Wish I knew who said this, [but somebody famous] said it was ok to discount everything bad that people said about you, as long as you disregarded the good stuff too. good advice I thought. Tomorrow for sure I'll start following it...

Try dealing with a hostile idiot judge, sometime, and explain why you refuse to comply with her illegal order.

LIT is plagued with fragile egos.

When I was 16 I was madly in love with my geometry tutor, she was 17, and a vision (she is now an ugly old hag). Anyway, on one occasion she brought a platter of blueberry muffins to our session and invited me to eat them.

I ate one and nearly died. It was beyond awful. It was a fistful of salt and baking powder. HOW IS IT? She asked. HEAVEN ON EARTH! I lied. THEN HAVE MORE! FOOL! I ate all of them and whimpered, YOURE A GREAT BAKER! And she replied, OH I DIDNT MAKE THOSE, I PULLED THEM OUTTA THE TRASH CAN IN HOME EC CLASS. EVERYONE SAID THEY TASTED REALLY BAD BUT THEY LOOKED OK TO ME. I HATE TO WASTE FOOD.

Here, if you like a story and score it 5, its author dismisses your opinion as adequate but not all it should be. If they then write a shit sandwich you score 2 the person flees to the sanctuary of friends who immediately rush to the shit sandwich to runup the score and troll you as a troll.

 

[lovecraft68]

Ah, the age old issue of what to do with comments....

May I hazard a guess that these comments came to you in the fine LW section of yonder fair site? If so, you will be delighted to know that epics have been written on the state of commentators and their less than tasteful attempts at letting you know their thoughts on the story.

Thankfully, the worst comments I get are about how dark and cynical my world view is. I do have a few horribly misspelled gems which I actually keep up simply for entertainment value.

Many times I have considered posting an edited version of my first story because the grammar is so poor.

I have also thought of outright deleting my second story because for lack of a better term its just downright stupid.

But I always decide to leave it there a a reminder to me of how far I've come in three years.

I also look at it the way I look at comments. I have no problem leaving the stuff up there that has done very well so I should leave the bad as well.

 

[DeYaKen]

It's up to you

Hello, I am new and would like to know how other writers deal with rude anonymous comments. I don't mind constructive criticism of course, but just calling me a "wanker?" (Is it proper to call a woman a wanker?)

second question first, Is it proper to call a woman a wanker? Strictly speaking yes. Since the term, in the UK at least, means one who wanks, or masturbates.

Rude anonymous comments ? It is for you to decide. If they are deeply offensive to you or others then delete em. A while back I had some that were overtly racist. When I deleted them the poster came back with "you can't stand negative criticism" I responded with "you can't comment without being racist. when you learn to do so your comments can stay. I can delete em quicker than you can write em." The problem went away.

More recently I had another author try to use my comments to start a flame war with other commenters. I wrote to her and asked her to stop. when she refused I deleted all her comments and all references to them. Problem solved.

As with everything else it is a personal decision. If you find the comments deeply hurtful, to yourself or others, delete them. If not, then leave them and let the world see what morons are out there.

If the worst you ever get called is a wanker, you are doing well. All of us are wankers, even the ones that lie about it.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Maybe the solution to all the angst is to 5 every story and kiss every writers ass till he falls over backwards from the burden of all that sugar. Have a contest for the bestest superlatives.

 

[DonnaBeck]

Thank You

Thank you for all your feedback. I have learned much and will leave the comments.

I thought "wanking" was like jerking and therefore I was being called a jerk off. The "troll" as you call them probably didn't read it or the fact that it was a woman writing it. I certainly have been called worse.

Very happy to a part of this helpful community!

 

[GPLockwood]

Don't let 'em get you down! Whatever you do with their comments, know that your fellow authors have your back. I just went there and gave you five stars, if that makes you feel any better.

If it were me, I would delete their nonsense, but both sides in the argument have some merit.

You know, it really is kind of funny that calling someone a "wanker" on a website for erotic material is considered an insult. I wonder if that particular reader realizes how hypocritical he looks.