Deal Killers

[NOIRTRASH]

What story starts kill your reading interest like right now?

For me its guided tours of the story place.

 

[MLClifton]

When the character's measurements are given in the first paragraph. (Actually, I'd really prefer not to know what cup size a female character has, or how long a male character's dick is. It goes back to the old adage of "show, don't tell.")

 

[NOIRTRASH]

When the character's measurements are given in the first paragraph. (Actually, I'd really prefer not to know what cup size a female character has, or how long a male character's dick is. It goes back to the old adage of "show, don't tell.")

I'm always alert to how female writers do it.

 

[ThisNameIsntTakenYet]

When the character's measurements are given in the first paragraph. (Actually, I'd really prefer not to know what cup size a female character has, or how long a male character's dick is. It goes back to the old adage of "show, don't tell.")

This isn't necessarily a reason for me to stop reading on its own, but it's certainly annoying. Not only in the beginning of the story though, I prefer not to know such physical details at all. Sure, knowing her breasts were average or his dick long is fine, but I don't need the exact measurements.

Another thing I really hate are info-dumps. This is more common for Sci-Fi or Fantasy stories as they often have more explaining to do, but I've seen it happen in just about any genre. I understand you have to explain something to the reader, but putting it in a big chunk of text isn't going to help. Try to weave it into the dialogue or other descriptions, feeding the reader small bits of information at a time. That works so much better.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

James Michener was master od the info dump.

 

[HandsInTheDark]

Pages of adjectives. I don't care if the chiffon dress is soft teal or misty turquoise. I don't really care what color it is at all. (This doesn't just apply to erotica.) Ditto the previously mentioned bust sizes and dick lengths, especially if it's monstrous DD 40 this or 11" that. Worst case scenario: a detailed description of a suit.

Bad grammar. Unless you're freaking James Joyce, write according to the language you claim to speak.

Sluts. Women who are extremely promiscuous just about always have serious self-esteem problems or other significant damage. No sane woman opens her legs without pages of internal monologue happening first. If she's willingly doing it on page one, she's a man with boobs, not a woman. I'm not into men.

Backstory in the wrong place. Until I care about a character I don't want to know about her childhood. Little reveals and flashes of insight scattered across a story can be fascinating; an info dump isn't.

Victimization of children, animals, or the mentally enfeebled, or actual incest. If a character doesn't have enough agency to make rational decisions, it's no longer seduction.

 

[lovecraft68]

1- authors so pathetic they try to use their stories to meet and pick up women.

2- authors who take point #1 to a far sleazier level and try to use non consent stories to play cyber dom and stalk and take advantage of naive young girls. I believe certain agencies would brand those types as sexual predators.

3- the term budding breasts on a site claiming they do not allow underage stories. Want proof? Search the term. I spot checked several of the stories that showed up and they do indeed use the term to describe a girl and we all know breasts don't Bud at 18. So blatant underage stories are big deal breakers

4- similar the word rape in a title or tag on a site claiming it does not allow actual rape stories.

 

[Carnevil9]

Too many names all at once. "My name is Bill Anderson and my wife is Beverly. Our neighbors, Jim and Jackie Johanson, and my boss and his wife, Harvey and Harriet Harrelson, were all over for dinner at our house....." I'm not going to do the mental gymnastics to remember all of that! Spoonfeed me, please!

 

[NOIRTRASH]

Pages of adjectives. I don't care if the chiffon dress is soft teal or misty turquoise. I don't really care what color it is at all. (This doesn't just apply to erotica.) Ditto the previously mentioned bust sizes and dick lengths, especially if it's monstrous DD 40 this or 11" that. Worst case scenario: a detailed description of a suit.

Bad grammar. Unless you're freaking James Joyce, write according to the language you claim to speak.

Sluts. Women who are extremely promiscuous just about always have serious self-esteem problems or other significant damage. No sane woman opens her legs without pages of internal monologue happening first. If she's willingly doing it on page one, she's a man with boobs, not a woman. I'm not into men.

Backstory in the wrong place. Until I care about a character I don't want to know about her childhood. Little reveals and flashes of insight scattered across a story can be fascinating; an info dump isn't.

Victimization of children, animals, or the mentally enfeebled, or actual incest. If a character doesn't have enough agency to make rational decisions, it's no longer seduction.

Women come from the factoryh exhibitionism equipped.

 

[soflabbwlvr]

Being told what I see, say, think or feel. "You" being a character.

 

[CoffeeWithMonkeys]

When the character's measurements are given in the first paragraph. (Actually, I'd really prefer not to know what cup size a female character has, or how long a male character's dick is. It goes back to the old adage of "show, don't tell.")

LOL!! Yes this.
I was telling my kids about the Halloween writing contest and I said I can write a good story that I will feel proud of that probably won't get enough votes, or I can write one about
He grabbed my 36DD boobs while I rubbed my ass against his 9 inch rock hard cock.
Start with that, or put it somewhere in the story and it will get votes. Oh and if I add
"I'M CUMMMMMMMMMIIIIINNNGGGG"
in it several times I'm sure to have a winner.

 

[ThisNameIsntTakenYet]

Too many names all at once. "My name is Bill Anderson and my wife is Beverly. Our neighbors, Jim and Jackie Johanson, and my boss and his wife, Harvey and Harriet Harrelson, were all over for dinner at our house....." I'm not going to do the mental gymnastics to remember all of that! Spoonfeed me, please!

Yeah, that's also really annoying. I once read a story about a group of 9 girls in a dorm who were all introduced in the span of three paragraphs. Had a hard time remembering who was who the whole story, especially since they often left and others joined and it was really confusing who had said or done what.

Being told what I see, say, think or feel. "You" being a character.

Ah yeah, second POV. In my opinion that's only acceptable in games and roleplays, and even then there are exceptions. I don't get what writers like that try to do, it certainly doesn't get me to feel like I'm the character since it's directly aimed at me. A well written first person story works much better for me in that aspect.

 

[rjordan]

When the character's measurements are given in the first paragraph. (Actually, I'd really prefer not to know what cup size a female character has, or how long a male character's dick is. It goes back to the old adage of "show, don't tell.")

Not even in a story about a woman with a tattoo on her belly that says, "Your dick must be this long to take this ride." I don't need to know. I'll fill in that detail.

I also shut down immediately when they tell me the female character looks like a particular celebrity. Takes me right out of the story, esp. since most of the time anymore I have no idea who they're talking about.

rj

 

[TxRad]

LOL!! Yes this.
I was telling my kids about the Halloween writing contest and I said I can write a good story that I will feel proud of that probably won't get enough votes, or I can write one about
He grabbed my 36DD boobs while I rubbed my ass against his 9 inch rock hard cock.
Start with that, or put it somewhere in the story and it will get votes. Oh and if I add
"I'M CUMMMMMMMMMIIIIINNNGGGG"
in it several times I'm sure to have a winner.

In other words you're rewriting one of scouries masterpieces.

 

[Carnal_Flower]

There's a ton of things I don't like but a deal killer, aside from categories I would never read anyway, is someone looking to "get laid" and bored couples who want to "spice things up" with a third. It's just banal. Completely uninteresting.

 

[Paul_Chance]

For me, the sure story killer is the opening paragraph info dump and then no follow up on the information dumped.

 

[lovecraft68]

LOL!! Yes this.
I was telling my kids about the Halloween writing contest and I said I can write a good story that I will feel proud of that probably won't get enough votes, or I can write one about
He grabbed my 36DD boobs while I rubbed my ass against his 9 inch rock hard cock.
Start with that, or put it somewhere in the story and it will get votes. Oh and if I add
"I'M CUMMMMMMMMMIIIIINNNGGGG"
in it several times I'm sure to have a winner.

I remember waaaay back when I found an x- rated paperback. I was younger than allowed to discuss here but the female lead kept saying "Oh I'm cuuuuummmmminnng" and even back then I thought how fucking stupid

 

[Hypoxia]

I will wager that for every one of us who finds certain descriptions, techniques, and tropes to be deal-killers, there's another who demands the (impossible) measurements, the data dumps, the exaggerated language, all that shit. Starting and ending a story with "My 10-inch cunt-splitter, fat as a beer can, pounded Mommy's 3-inch-wide pussy to a pulp" will surely please more than a few readers.

 

[lovecraft68]

Anything involving a strong woman who suddenly needs to be submissive.

Any storyline designed for low self esteem men who need women to act drooling cockwhores for middle aged loser men.

The same storyline written twenty times over by the same author to the point it could be copy paste.

 

[NicoleZ]

Ah yeah, second POV. In my opinion that's only acceptable in games and roleplays, and even then there are exceptions. I don't get what writers like that try to do, it certainly doesn't get me to feel like I'm the character since it's directly aimed at me.

I am so glad to discover that I am not alone in my abhorrence of 2POV, thank you!

What the people who dabble with it fail to realise is that second person address is a form of imperative; you will, you must, your failure to comply (etc.) The best examples of second person usage is by HM Revenue & Customs (or the IRS in the US).

From my experiences of other literary forums I would say that those who dabble with it mistakenly believe that by rendering their usually mediocre, ill-conceived and ill-written tales into second person narratives, they are magically transformed into fine art. In a way they are right though - by the third page, the reader is so exhausted and bewildered by it all and suffers from sensory overload trauma to the extent that (s-)he stops reading never to return, convinced that it was so far above her or his ken that they are positive the author must be some kind of genius. In my opinion, there is no place for it in serious literature except very sparingly used to focus the reader's attention on something important.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

Anything involving a strong woman who suddenly needs to be submissive.

Any storyline designed for low self esteem men who need women to act drooling cockwhores for middle aged loser men.

The same storyline written twenty times over by the same author to the point it could be copy paste.

It happens all the time in real life. Its the female default position.

 

[NicoleZ]

Anything involving a strong woman who suddenly needs to be submissive.

Any storyline designed for low self esteem men who need women to act drooling cockwhores for middle aged loser men.

The same storyline written twenty times over by the same author to the point it could be copy paste.

Name and shame!

 

[ThisNameIsntTakenYet]

I am so glad to discover that I am not alone to abhor 2POV, thank you!

What the people who dabble with it fail to realise is that second person address is a form of imperative; you will, you must, your failure to comply (etc.) The best examples of second person usage is by HM Revenue & Customs (or the IRS in the US).

From my experiences of other literary forums I would say that those who dabble with it mistakenly believe that by rendering their usually mediocre, ill-conceived and ill-written tales into second person narratives, they are magically transformed into fine art. In a way they are right though - by the third page, the reader is so exhausted and bewildered by it all and suffers from sensory overload trauma to the extent that (s-)he stops reading never to return, convinced that it was so far above her or his ken that they are positive the author must be some kind of genius. In my opinion, there is no place for it in serious literature except very sparingly used to focus the reader's attention on something important.

The only kind of stories that I can think of from the top of my head where the second POV could work well is the Choose Your Own Adventure style stories, but even then you could just use a Third or First Person perspective.

 

[SecondCircle]

The only kind of stories that I can think of from the top of my head where the second POV could work well is the Choose Your Own Adventure style stories, but even then you could just use a Third or First Person perspective.

I could think of many more. It could have it's place in literature, but it's often done so very poorly or written so with such narrow focus that it turns most readers away. Most times the immersion is broken when the reader thinks, "I wouldn't do that" when the author is telling them that "you do this, you do that."

Were it not for time, I could make more honest attempts with this PoV.

 

[ThisNameIsntTakenYet]

I could think of many more. It could have it's place in literature, but it's often done so very poorly or written so with such narrow focus that it turns most readers away. Most times the immersion is broken when the reader thinks, "I wouldn't do that" when the author is telling them that "you do this, you do that."

Were it not for time, I could make more honest attempts with this PoV.

It would certainly be interesting to see some stories who get it right. So far I haven't seen any though. Like I said, you often find it in RPG games, like "you walk through the forest and find an old sword" or something like that. Not many RPGs that do that nowadays though, but the Etrian Odyssey series is one that comes to mind immediately. But then you've already created a character and are in the mindset of a roleplay, so it's much less distracting.