Deal Breaker

[TheEarl]

What cantdog said, basically.

Also there are things not related to the relationship between me and my partner that would be a deal breaker -- things that I might discover further down the road that would make my feelings change.

Like aggression. I don't think I could love someone who have a high tendency to violent actions. Although not directed at me or mine. I can accept and even respect people who have a short way from their brain to their fists. But I don't think I could se them as my better half.

Yes, Elsie, I know I said I'd work. I just saw this post and I couldn't not reply though. Will get back to my evil coursework in 2 seconds.

I think aggression is an interesting one to be worried about. I personally have a short way from my brain to my fists. When I get really upset or frustrated or annoyed, I hit things. But the difference between me and someone who's violent is that I hit inanimate objects (my punchbag is a life-saver when I'm courseworking).

I recognise that I do get aggressive at times and that aggression actually used to scare my former Lady at times. She hated seeing me hit my punchbag because she was worried that there was only a msall step from the punchbag to a person.

I'm not violent. I can only think of one punch that I've ever thrown at a real person and God knows I've been provoked many many times. But I do have aggression. I'm curious to know if Liar would accept someone with those kind of character traits or whether you did mean aggression and not violence.

The Earl

 

[Elsie Grey]

Humph. Well I hope your working hard now, or I'll not be a happy bunny! Been to the docotrs (for all the good it's done me) and I'm home again now so if you wanna call please feel free!

The ultimate deal breaker for me is lying. It still hurts now to know that my ex lied to me (and probably still would be if I were talking to him. Me, bitter? never!).

And as for your comments on violence Earl, did you know that my ex once dented the roof of my car? He thumped it when we had an arguement, right on top of where I was sitting. That scared me. He then stormed off in a furious temper. At the time I went after him and we made up because he said that he hadn't meant it and he certainly hadn't been trying to hit me. I accepted him back then, not sure if I would now though, looking back on it I could have been getting into a really dangerous situation.

Elsie

xxx

 

[carsonshepherd]

Humph. Well I hope your working hard now, or I'll not be a happy bunny! Been to the docotrs (for all the good it's done me) and I'm home again now so if you wanna call please feel free!

The ultimate deal breaker for me is lying. It still hurts now to know that my ex lied to me (and probably still would be if I were talking to him. Me, bitter? never!).

And as for your comments on violence Earl, did you know that my ex once dented the roof of my car? He thumped it when we had an arguement, right on top of where I was sitting. That scared me. He then stormed off in a furious temper. At the time I went after him and we made up because he said that he hadn't meant it and he certainly hadn't been trying to hit me. I accepted him back then, not sure if I would now though, looking back on it I could have been getting into a really dangerous situation.

Elsie

xxx

I put more on this on the other thread. But here's my take on that, Elsie: I hit things, but only when I'm alone(and very seldom). I'd call it a safe way to vent rage. There is nothing wrong with aggression. It's our survival mechanism kicking in! But to use to scare someone physically weaker than yourself is low. Your boyfriend may not have ever hit you, but he was using his anger to scare you, and therefore as a form of control. He wanted to show you he was in charge of the situation, in my opinion.

Seems like you're well rid of him.