Deal Breaker

[carsonshepherd]

Everyone has their limits. We all tolerate things we don't like in relationships, but sometimes I wonder if I put up with more than most people would.

Apart from anything physical, what's your deal breaker?

(And yes, I'm fine, thanks )

 

[nikkijames]

The other person not being respectful with 'the little things.'

Picking up after yourself, calling when you are going to be late, doing what you say you are going to do, etc etc etc.

 

[carsonshepherd]

The other person not being respectful with 'the little things.'

Picking up after yourself, calling when you are going to be late, doing what you say you are going to do, etc etc etc.

Maybe he's right about me then - because I do all those things, except not calling when I'm late.

 

[impressive]

Maybe he's right about me then - because I do all those things, except not calling when I'm late.

I hate the not calling thing. To me, it's the ultimate sign of disrespect.

 

[nikkijames]

I hate the not calling thing. To me, it's the ultimate sign of disrespect.

I agree because when they are late you go through all the emotions.. worried something bad has happened, then mad at them and wanting to strangle them if nothing bad did happen, wondering if they are with someone else, back to worrying if something bad has happened. It's a perpetual cycle.

 

[impressive]

I agree because when they are late you go through all the emotions.. worried something bad has happened, then mad at them and wanting to strangle them if nothing bad did happen, wondering if they are with someone else, back to worrying if something bad has happened. It's a perpetual cycle.

Yup. Finally, you reach the "He goddamn well better be bleeding in a ditch somewhere!" stage.

 

[carsonshepherd]

I do call when I'm gonna be late! Don't burn me at the stake!

But I sometimes "forget" to do things...
I leave wet towels on the floor...

Maybe the problem really is me, like he says!

 

[nikkijames]

I do call when I'm gonna be late! Don't burn me at the stake!

But I sometimes "forget" to do things...
I leave wet towels on the floor...

Maybe the problem really is me, like he says!

Take one week and 'note' the little things that you could and maybe should do (ie: picking your wet towel off the floor) and see if there isn't something that you can do to fix it.

Not burning you at the stake hun.

 

[Bridget69]

There has to be respect and honesty, without that, there's nothing as far as I'm concerned.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Take one week and 'note' the little things that you could and maybe should do (ie: picking your wet towel off the floor) and see if there isn't something that you can do to fix it.

Not burning you at the stake hun.

Maybe I should take a week and note all the little things "HE" does and make a list of them?

 

[Honey123]

Maybe I should take a week and note all the little things "HE" does and make a list of them?

It's gotta come from the heart, otherwise you're just "doing it"...

 

[carsonshepherd]

It's gotta come from the heart, otherwise you're just "doing it"...

I don't think we're talking about the same kind of list.

 

[BigAndTall]

Mine is 2 fold

1. Expecting me to do all the house chores

2. Being excessivly clingy. I need alone time and do not like feeling like someone is dependent on me for everything.

 

[Honey123]

I don't think we're talking about the same kind of list.

YIKES!!!!

What is the list....please, I have no intention on making you mad!

Oh, crap...it's one of those open mouth insert foot nights...I think I should go to bed...

 

[carsonshepherd]

YIKES!!!!

What is the list....please, I have no intention on making you mad!

Oh, crap...it's one of those open mouth insert foot nights...I think I should go to bed...

I wasn't mad at you! I was thinking about the list:

-not feeding the dogs.
-complaining.

etc.

to you.
to the BF. (Although actually we made up )

 

[Honey123]

I wasn't mad at you! I was thinking about the list:

-not feeding the dogs.
-complaining.

etc.

to you.
to the BF. (Although actually we made up )

Whew!!

Well, did the dogs die? Did your voice hit a really high, ear piercing, window breaking note when you were complaining???

I am glad you made up! Life is too short ~ enjoy each other while you can.

(Oh, and take pictures...LOL)

 

[carsonshepherd]

Whew!!

Well, did the dogs die? Did your voice hit a really high, ear piercing, window breaking note when you were complaining???

I am glad you made up! Life is too short ~ enjoy each other while you can.

(Oh, and take pictures...LOL)

That was MY list for HIM - I am perfect!

 

[Honey123]

That was MY list for HIM - I am perfect!

I swear next time I will not drink while reading these threads....

You are perfect!

 

[Belegon]

I swear next time I will not drink while reading these threads....

You are perfect!

drunk Honey? *Belushi-style eyebrow lift*

Really? Any chance you could be taken advantage of?

 

[Colleen Thomas]

There is no deal breaker for me. I try not to draw lines in the sand. For me, a relationship is something voluntary, where I get as much out of it as I put in, if not significantly more. When I am getting less out than I am puttin gin over a long period of time, I do reach a break point.

 

[Belegon]

I can only think of one "deal-breaker".

Possessiveness/jealousy.

I am not a possession. You do not own me, never will. I do not own you either. We choose to spend time with each other, not we are required to spend time together. Don't try to choose my friends. I choose my friends. You have the right to not like them, but I have the right to see them anyway.

Don't trust "her"? (whoever the "her" is. seems there always is one.) That's ok. But you don't need to if you trust me.

 

[Penelope Street]

Dishonesty is the relationship breaker for me. Trust is the basis of ANY relationship, especially an intimate one. Lie to me and that's pretty much the end.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Carson, dearest - so happy that you two managed to make nice.

For what it's worth, wet towels on the floor do quite seriously upset me. It's unpleasant drying off with a wet, dirty, and (in my house) dog-hair-coated towel. No, it's not the end of the world, but it offends me that someone would consider the single extra second gained by not hanging the towel of more interest than letting me begin my day in a pleasant fashion. Many of the things that score high on my annoyance card are those that spare the other party one or two seconds of effort by putting me to five or ten minutes of trouble or depriving me of some of the simple, basic comforts that everyone enjoys. I think it's reasonable to feel unhappy about this sort of behavior.

That said ... when I find myself complaining about such things at length, or angrily, it's usually because something else is bothering me. I don't always know what it is. But when something deep down is draining all of the strength and joy from me ... I get very passionate on the topic of towels.

Shanglan

 

[carsonshepherd]

That said ... when I find myself complaining about such things at length, or angrily, it's usually because something else is bothering me. I don't always know what it is. But when something deep down is draining all of the strength and joy from me ... I get very passionate on the topic of towels.

Shanglan

Yes and I know that's the case with my BF. He lets issues build. I don't. That's why I try to be tolerant but every now and then he pushes me too hard.

 

[impressive]

... but every now and then he pushes me too hard.

Um ...

Oh, nevermind.