De Lord wants you to make a pledge....

[FlamingoBlue]

Send your $$$$ to your favorite charity. After all, it's tax deductible.

blue

 

[Marxist]

If Jesus saves and Moses invests, what does Mohammed do?

 

[FlamingoBlue]

Ole Mo doesn't seem to be doing shit....

Moses saves, huh? Not funny. Not at all.
How about some Black stereotypes? Would that play better with you?

blue

 

[Marxist]

Black stereotypes? Moses, Jesus, and Mohammed were all Black. At least that what Farrakhan says and as you know we're all of the same mind. Like Bjorn Borg. Damn skippy!

 

[FlamingoBlue]

All black?? That's news to me....

Does that some how justify your comments? I'm not laughing and it's not because I'm sensitive.

No need to reply, Marxist. I got your message.

blue

 

[Marxist]

"De" is ebonical, no? Don't turn sanctimonious on me FB. I'm sure the thinner skinned Negro Christian would have taken your "De" and the LORD's name in vain as sacriligious AND racist. Not me. I'm only Black and pretty tough.

Be offended.

 

[FlamingoBlue]

De lord says that you are overly-

sensitive, bless your heart. Too chez, motherfucker.

blue

 

[Marxist]

Whata kinda finnochio shita isa thiz, paizan?

 

[Problem Child]

Since we're gettin all sacriligious, I'd say Mohammed wipes his ass with his left hand. Or is it his right?

I always forget.

 

[FlamingoBlue]

No speaka your lingo, Marxist....

Twenty minutes ago I gave a few bucks to Public TV and you turned it into a racist commentary. Good luck with your agenda,Marxie, whatever it is.

Nite nite, all.

blue

 

[Laurel]

Since we're gettin all sacriligious, I'd say Mohammed wipes his ass with his left hand. Or is it his right?

I always forget.

You forget? Well, I won't be partaking of the communal stewpot with you, then.

 

[Problem Child]

You forget? Well, I won't be partaking of the communal stewpot with you, then.

I just keep my hands in my pockets and nod politely when in the mid-east.

 

[Laurel]

This provides me yet another opportunity to quote the adventures of Eric Bolz, Intrepid Explorer:
http://ericbolz.com/SeeWhatImUpTo.html

This time, On Toilets In the East:

August 29
My Kingdom for a toilet
After two and a half months in China there is one conversation that keeps coming up among travelers such as myself. Imagine six or eight travelers sitting around the table in a cafe somewhere in Beijing. The conversation might go something like this:

You won't believe what happened to me this morning. I just arrived at the airport and I really had to take a dump. I sit down on the toilet, I do my thing, and then I notice. NO TOILET PAPER! Thank god the guy in the stall next to mine had some tissues. I don't know what I would have done.

Right, well you learned your first lesson about China the easy way. Never leave home without toilet paper. The same thing happened to me but there was no guy in the stall next to me. I took of my sock and used that.

You guys had it easy, I was wearing sandals. I had to use my hand.

What are you guys talking about? You actually had toilets? My hotel just has a porcelain hole in the floor. I have to SQUAT over that.

Porcelain? You're complaining about porcelain? Just wait until you get into the small towns. There you'll just have a small shack in the back yard. And the floor will have one board missing. You squat over that while the fumes from every shit since time began float up and burn your nose out.

Oh, and the bus stations are even worse. There are 8 or 10 holes all in a row with no doors or stalls. You squat with all the other passengers while they stare at you because you are a foreigner.

Once I was squatting and a woman brought her children in to watch me shit. She pointed at me while the kids surrounded me and laughed at my technique.

Yeah, I know the toilets your talking about. But there are worse ones. Some just have a three inch hole in the floor. You would think that the Chinese, who have been using these toilets all their lives, would know where their god damned assholes are. But no, they miss the hole and the floor gets covered with shit. There is no worse site than walking into the toilet and seeing piles of shit surrounding the hole in the floor while the fumes of, as you said, every shit since time began float up and hit you like a Mac truck. The fist time I saw that I had nightmares for a week.

Just wait until you have diarrhea and you have to use such a toilet three times an hour all night long.

I had it worse. I had diarrhea while I puked my guts out all night long. I bent down to throw up and I could see a pool of shit two feet below. There were worms in it. I mean the whole thing was filled with these creepy little worms. They were in worm heaven, eating a never ending supply of shit. Imagine a world where your favorite food falls from the sky.

Yeah, well we all know what you're talking about. But you try to tell your friends back home and they don't believe you.

Right, they think you're making it all up just to add some character to your stories. Well it's true, every god damned word of it.

And they say there are no more adventures in the world. Ha!

 

[sch00lteacher]

I thought for a minuet there that Robet Tilton had invaded the board.

 

[Marxist]

Sorry for hijacking your thread FB, but it made very little sense to begin with. And giving money to public broadcasting is very much worthwhile. But you should've started a thread trying to come up with a better solution than their constant extortion pleas on the TV and radio. Thank god, they're the only ones who do it.

 

[Marxist]

Addendum to my last post: Those Christian broadcaster dudes seem to beg a lot too. Imagine what they'd do if they had to pay taxes. I think armed robbery in the name of Jesus wouldn't be out of the question.

 

[Cheyenne]

Back to the original purpose of the thread...

What's so hard to understand? This is the time of the year to note all of the good things that have happened to you and to make sure you've shared that with others. Blue is reminding us that part of the responsibility of having $ and things is that you need to use some of them to help others.

I do that every year sometime during Thanksgiving weekend. I make a list of contributions to charities that I've already made during the year. I review it to make sure I haven't missed any of my favorites and write checks to them if I have. Your approach doesn't have to be that organized. If you have a few extra bucks, throw them in that Salvation Army red kettle when you head out to do your shopping. Drop them in the Ronald McDonald collection container when you go through the drive thru. Send them to Laurel so she can forward them to a Lit member who needs our help. Do SOMETHING. Pick a charity or needy person/family and help.