Dating vanilla while kinky — worth the effort?

[Dhabidommetrix]

I've dated a few vanilla slaves in the past years, and the relationships ended when my kinks came up. I'm wondering if it's worth trying again or just sticking to people in the lifestyle.

Anyone here made it work across that divide?

 

[Mikel2410]

have not but married now and she meets me somewhat just scared I’ll out grow what she is cool with

 

[PaxNurgle]

It is a hard thing for me. I've pretty much resigned to dating in the vanilla world at this point; just the way it is. It is always a challenge because you don't feel fulfilled in the way you want to be, and yes, as mentioned, you also don't want her to pick up on your kinks- and get freaked out or grossed out by it. I've had to surpress this side of myself with a lot of the women I've dated. I think there was at least one time where she picked up on it- some little subtle thing- (I don't feel like sharing 'cause this is embarassing) and broke up with me because of it.

 

[Mrs_and_mr]

I've never had any real success. It’s hard to hide oneself, and you can’t push someone to be something they aren’t.

 

[SirSparky]

It is a hard thing for me. I've pretty much resigned to dating in the vanilla world at this point; just the way it is. It is always a challenge because you don't feel fulfilled in the way you want to be, and yes, as mentioned, you also don't want her to pick up on your kinks- and get freaked out or grossed out by it. I've had to surpress this side of myself with a lot of the women I've dated. I think there was at least one time where she picked up on it- some little subtle thing- (I don't feel like sharing 'cause this is embarassing) and broke up with me because of it.

If you want to share in private then pm me. Im curious

 

[SirSparky]

My marriage was pretty vanilla, I tried to bring some kinks into it, although she was receptive at first, as the years went on, she was less and less receptive till the point she called me a pervert. We eventually divorced for other reasons and on the divorce papers she put that I had sexually coerced her.

Im in a new relationship now and we have spoken about some kinks. So far she has enjoyed them. But she wont open up about any thoughts or fantasies she has, just tells me she will try anything I want and will tell me of she doesn't want to do it. I keep telling her I really want to know her thoughts too.