Dating Tips for the Modern Troglodyte and Troglodette

[mynameisben]

You're on a first date, at a party. You've been eating Cheetos like there's no tomorrow, and that cloud of orange powder you've kicked up stimulates the urge within you to pick your nose right at the moment she 's introducing you to three of her closest girl friends. DO remember to wipe your fingers first, or I promise you things will end badly. It's spooky, and I'm still not sure exactly how they do it, but women just know.

Okay now. Who else has tips to share?

 

[lovecraft68]

When you're with said girlfriend at a party full of her friends and in addition to the cheeto's you have been partaking in the buffalo wings and you feel the need to fart, follow this one rule.

Stand close enough to some other poor sap stranded there with his girlfriend and once you let rip, say, "Dude, really?"

Your feigned offense will show you as the classy guy you are to the girls and the guys will remember that they have to try that next time.

 

[mynameisben]

When you're with said girlfriend at a party full of her friends and in addition to the cheeto's you have been partaking in the buffalo wings and you feel the need to fart, follow this one rule.

Stand close enough to some other poor sap stranded there with his girlfriend and once you let rip, say, "Dude, really?"

Your feigned offense will show you as the classy guy you are to the girls and the guys will remember that they have to try that next time.

Excellent!

Anybody else?

 

[Stella_Omega]

Ladytrogs, don't feel embarrassed if you blow snot when you laugh. it will be something you both have in common.

But please-- don't wipe on the back of your hand, or your sleeve or anything like that unless you are alone with him. Let it be your little secret, just you two.

 

[mynameisben]

Ladytrogs, don't feel embarrassed if you blow snot when you laugh. it will be something you both have in common.

But please-- don't wipe on the back of your hand, or your sleeve or anything like that unless you are alone with him. Let it be your little secret, just you two.

And Trogs, whatever you do, don't laugh when she spews streamers. You may think it's funny, but it's snot.

 

[lovecraft68]

In addition to not being worried about blowing snot, Lady Trogs should never worry about snorting when you laugh, we male trogs find it endearing.

After all what Trog doesn't have a Miss Piggy Fetish?

 

[Safe_Bet]

Ladytrogs, don't feel embarrassed if you blow snot when you laugh. it will be something you both have in common.

But please-- don't wipe on the back of your hand, or your sleeve or anything like that unless you are alone with him. Let it be your little secret, just you two.

Stella, I'm disappointed that you didn't lead with the most important one!

Trog dude: ALWAY make sure you approach any lesbians that are attending the aforementioned party and a.) Strongly imply that if they would only TRY dick they would never get enough of it! And. b.) try not to let the other Trog dudes see you cry when they agree because it obviously worked for you!

 

[mynameisben]

If your automobile is equipped with an ahooga horn, DON'T let your bare ass lean up against it while you're groping your date's tits for the first time. DO have your hazard lights on if making your move at the red light of a busy intersection.