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what are yours and how did you decide on them? tell us about your not so pleasant experiences in the dating circuit.
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ok, I'll start.
I have learned to never date a woman who has kids, 2 or more cats or is "married" to her job. Too much hassle.
I like women who have college experience, ambitions, is sensual and adventurous, and is feminine.
I have learned to never date a woman who has kids, 2 or more cats or is "married" to her job. Too much hassle.
I like women who have college experience, ambitions, is sensual and adventurous, and is feminine.
Wantonica
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Brought Something Back...
Okay, the subject is dating standards...I recall a date where the guy said he was taking me to the car races. When we got there, he wanted me to go through a muddy field and jump the fence to get in. I refused and sat in the car while he went. Afterward, he wanted a head job. What a joke!! That was about 20 years ago. Thanks for the goofy memory.
Lascivious Wanton
Okay, the subject is dating standards...I recall a date where the guy said he was taking me to the car races. When we got there, he wanted me to go through a muddy field and jump the fence to get in. I refused and sat in the car while he went. Afterward, he wanted a head job. What a joke!! That was about 20 years ago. Thanks for the goofy memory.
Lascivious Wanton
worst date in recent memory
Sometime last spring I went out with a nice guy. I had a few reservations regarding the age difference (16 years my senior) and taste in music (he's classical, I'm anything but). We do share a love of the same sport so I figured even if it didn't work out romantically I might have a new paddling buddy.
kayaks !!!
I was starving and looking forward to dinner at one of my favorite restaurants. He ordered first, an iced tea, unsweetened (yuck), a salad, and just an appetizer. My mouthwatering dreams of artichoke hearts with feta, sweet baby greens salad, and grilled tuna died.
The conversation was the worst part. He talked nonstop of his exwife, exgirlfriends, and daughter ... I learned way too much about their depression and anxiety and how he was such a wonderful man to put up with it all. Then he started talking about his own mental health issues. Granted, everyone has them but to discuss on the first date ??? !!!
When he mentioned the gender of his "shrink" I got a horrible feeling ... could feel the empty, hungry stomach acid start to boil. Two seconds later he said her name and I truly had to hold back a scream of laughter. Holy Shit ... we were seeing the same shrink! Well, I wasn't seeing her anymore but what if I needed to for some reason ... I never wanted to see this guy again, much less run into him in the waiting room!
I got back home before dark, after suffering through a goodnight hug ... yuck!
emer
Sometime last spring I went out with a nice guy. I had a few reservations regarding the age difference (16 years my senior) and taste in music (he's classical, I'm anything but). We do share a love of the same sport so I figured even if it didn't work out romantically I might have a new paddling buddy.
kayaks !!!I was starving and looking forward to dinner at one of my favorite restaurants. He ordered first, an iced tea, unsweetened (yuck), a salad, and just an appetizer. My mouthwatering dreams of artichoke hearts with feta, sweet baby greens salad, and grilled tuna died.
The conversation was the worst part. He talked nonstop of his exwife, exgirlfriends, and daughter ... I learned way too much about their depression and anxiety and how he was such a wonderful man to put up with it all. Then he started talking about his own mental health issues. Granted, everyone has them but to discuss on the first date ??? !!!
When he mentioned the gender of his "shrink" I got a horrible feeling ... could feel the empty, hungry stomach acid start to boil. Two seconds later he said her name and I truly had to hold back a scream of laughter. Holy Shit ... we were seeing the same shrink! Well, I wasn't seeing her anymore but what if I needed to for some reason ... I never wanted to see this guy again, much less run into him in the waiting room!
I got back home before dark, after suffering through a goodnight hug ... yuck!
emer
De Sade said:
Makes me go "hmmmmm...."
What is your reasoning for those guidelines, I wonder? And why do I wonder? Well...
I have two kids.
I have two cats.
I work at home, and many hours, so I might be 'married' to my job.
I have a college degree.
I am an erotic fiction writer, and financially independent, so I suppose my ambitions are well on their way to being realized.
I am quite frequently accused of being sensual and adventurous. (Like I said, I write erotica, what else would you expect?)
So far as being feminine...my long nails are always painted, I usually wear long flowing dresses, and I have long, curly red hair. I even wear a sunhat when I go out in the summertime. (Yet just this week I changed my own oil, fixed my own central air unit and mowed my own lawn, so am I still considered feminine?)
Lots of assumptions about women there, DeSade.
S.
lovechild27
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I really dont have a type
Ya...he needs to have a job....college (well im young so if hes in college thats ok too...lol)
some sort of goal
but ideally...theres just something about someone that you have to know. Its different in everyone...
Ya...he needs to have a job....college (well im young so if hes in college thats ok too...lol)
some sort of goal
but ideally...theres just something about someone that you have to know. Its different in everyone...
AttentionWhore
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My standards for dating? Not high enough, but it makes for some wonderful stories...
How about the guy who would have dated me if I had 2 kids, but since I have three, he wouldn't.
How about the guy who spend the entire meal telling me how he needed to take a "piss". I'm talking 8 or 9 trips to the bathroom. Apparently, he'd had a drug test that day and had drunk a bunch of water.
How about the man who was over 40, lived at home with his mother, drove his mother's car since he'd totalled his a year before, couldn't keep a job, and had certain male problems since I didn't give a blow job with the right attitude. WTF is a wrong attitude as long as I don't bite???
My main rules:
Don't date a guy named Mike. (Sorry any Mikes)
Never date a Las Vegas Native. (I live in Sin City)
Never date a guy who doesn't have a car
Never date a guy who's car is worth less than my tab at the manicurist's
Never date a guy who lives with his mother
Never date a guy who isn't able to keep a job
Keep a diary of all the dud dates so you can look back later and laugh.
How about the guy who would have dated me if I had 2 kids, but since I have three, he wouldn't.
How about the guy who spend the entire meal telling me how he needed to take a "piss". I'm talking 8 or 9 trips to the bathroom. Apparently, he'd had a drug test that day and had drunk a bunch of water.
How about the man who was over 40, lived at home with his mother, drove his mother's car since he'd totalled his a year before, couldn't keep a job, and had certain male problems since I didn't give a blow job with the right attitude. WTF is a wrong attitude as long as I don't bite???
My main rules:
Don't date a guy named Mike. (Sorry any Mikes)
Never date a Las Vegas Native. (I live in Sin City)
Never date a guy who doesn't have a car
Never date a guy who's car is worth less than my tab at the manicurist's
Never date a guy who lives with his mother
Never date a guy who isn't able to keep a job
Keep a diary of all the dud dates so you can look back later and laugh.
Wantonica
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College
How shall I begin?
My pet peeve has been touched upon. No, jabbed at. What exactly is it about having "college experience" that makes someone a better person? I ask this question in all sincerity. This girl had a scholarship... back up, my dad had an art scholarship but got drafted in the late sixties. Not an artist, no college, but a very successful man now. I had a scholarship, but didn't even end up graduating from high school due to the wonderful son growing in my belly. You can't get a promotion at the pizza parlor to raise a kid on if you go to school. Everyone said I would still go far, and eventually I did. My boyfriend didn't even finish the eighth grade, but has owned his own business for 25 years. He earns more an hour than most people do in a day.
My point? I respect the fact that many people extend their education. I respect education. However, some of us had to learn on our own, without the benefit of "formal" education. If you ran into me at the country club, would you be able to distinguish whether or not I was college-educated? I doubt it.
Phew, I feel better now that I've vented.
Happy day,
Lascivious Wanton
How shall I begin?
My pet peeve has been touched upon. No, jabbed at. What exactly is it about having "college experience" that makes someone a better person? I ask this question in all sincerity. This girl had a scholarship... back up, my dad had an art scholarship but got drafted in the late sixties. Not an artist, no college, but a very successful man now. I had a scholarship, but didn't even end up graduating from high school due to the wonderful son growing in my belly. You can't get a promotion at the pizza parlor to raise a kid on if you go to school. Everyone said I would still go far, and eventually I did. My boyfriend didn't even finish the eighth grade, but has owned his own business for 25 years. He earns more an hour than most people do in a day.
My point? I respect the fact that many people extend their education. I respect education. However, some of us had to learn on our own, without the benefit of "formal" education. If you ran into me at the country club, would you be able to distinguish whether or not I was college-educated? I doubt it.
Phew, I feel better now that I've vented.
Happy day,
Lascivious Wanton
I think everyone has a basic set of dating standards, otherwise they would simply date whoever crossed their path. I do think it is important to know what those standards are, but also not to make them so restrictive that you might overlook some one who can truly rock your world.
(Sheath, this isn't meant towards you, but I've experienced this, so I want to comment on it.) I had a man tell me he really wanted to date me because I had no children. Okay, whatever, but I asked him why. His response? "That means you will have more time for me." Did I go out with him? Hell NO! He's looking for some one to focus soley on him and that isn't me. I have other interests and there might be times I don't want to be with him. As well, I expect him to have other interests and to do things with his buddies. So when a man says he doesn't want a woman with kids, it tells me he's looking to be the sole center of attention of a woman's life. Good luck, guys who do that, cause you will need it!
Okay, drifted there. I know that I probably have little things I consider important but others would consider trivial or even insulting. I like men with hair. I don't like balding men, or men who have no hair. And God forbid a man should actually shave his head! Some say this is superficial of me. I've had men who were "hair challenged" get upset with me. Why? There are probably things about me they don't like. It's give and take. If two people aren't attracted to each other for whatever reason, it makes it valid.
As far as my standards go, I think I'm fairly open. He's got to have a job, yes. But then, so do I. A car? Well, if he can survive in So. Cal without one, then he is probably very ingenious! However, yeah, a car would be up there. Living with parents? Depends. At the age range I'm looking at, there could be valid reasons why a man might need to live with elderly parents to take care of them. It's not that important. College? Nah, you can do just as well without it.
But, he would need:
Attentive
Listen to what I say
Affectionate
A gentleman when called for
Treats others well/keeps his temper in check
Does not drink to excess
Does not do drugs
Has honesty and integrity
Likes sex (you'd be surprised at how this decreases with age!)
Intelligent/able to utilize common sense
Can act like a normal, decent human being in front of my family and friends
MUST have hair on top of head!
(Sheath, this isn't meant towards you, but I've experienced this, so I want to comment on it.) I had a man tell me he really wanted to date me because I had no children. Okay, whatever, but I asked him why. His response? "That means you will have more time for me." Did I go out with him? Hell NO! He's looking for some one to focus soley on him and that isn't me. I have other interests and there might be times I don't want to be with him. As well, I expect him to have other interests and to do things with his buddies. So when a man says he doesn't want a woman with kids, it tells me he's looking to be the sole center of attention of a woman's life. Good luck, guys who do that, cause you will need it!
Okay, drifted there. I know that I probably have little things I consider important but others would consider trivial or even insulting. I like men with hair. I don't like balding men, or men who have no hair. And God forbid a man should actually shave his head! Some say this is superficial of me. I've had men who were "hair challenged" get upset with me. Why? There are probably things about me they don't like. It's give and take. If two people aren't attracted to each other for whatever reason, it makes it valid.
As far as my standards go, I think I'm fairly open. He's got to have a job, yes. But then, so do I. A car? Well, if he can survive in So. Cal without one, then he is probably very ingenious! However, yeah, a car would be up there. Living with parents? Depends. At the age range I'm looking at, there could be valid reasons why a man might need to live with elderly parents to take care of them. It's not that important. College? Nah, you can do just as well without it.
But, he would need:
Attentive
Listen to what I say
Affectionate
A gentleman when called for
Treats others well/keeps his temper in check
Does not drink to excess
Does not do drugs
Has honesty and integrity
Likes sex (you'd be surprised at how this decreases with age!)
Intelligent/able to utilize common sense
Can act like a normal, decent human being in front of my family and friends
MUST have hair on top of head!
sxgoddessjw
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sheath said:Makes me go "hmmmmm...."
What is your reasoning for those guidelines, I wonder? And why do I wonder? Well...
I have two kids.
I have two cats.
I work at home, and many hours, so I might be 'married' to my job.
I have a college degree.
I am an erotic fiction writer, and financially independent, so I suppose my ambitions are well on their way to being realized.
I am quite frequently accused of being sensual and adventurous. (Like I said, I write erotica, what else would you expect?)
So far as being feminine...my long nails are always painted, I usually wear long flowing dresses, and I have long, curly red hair. I even wear a sunhat when I go out in the summertime. (Yet just this week I changed my own oil, fixed my own central air unit and mowed my own lawn, so am I still considered feminine?)
Lots of assumptions about women there, DeSade.
S.
THANK YOU!!!!! I have 1 child, 1 cat and am married to my job as well but love sex, hey I'm on here right!!!!
lovechild27
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What exactly is it about having "college experience" that makes someone a better pers
Unless your older and already established, its kinda a crap shoot as to where the guy is gonna end up. If he is at least in college, you know he has ambition to do something. Intelligence is very attractive to some...granted you cant get common sense from a class room but you can gain greater understanding of the world.
Im only 22 and I have met guys who didnt go to school...the entire lot of them were bums who would of gladly latched on and sucked off me after I have received my degree. The men i have met that are college educated have a desire to do something with themselves. I have found that these days...the vast majority of people who dont go to school have motivation to do little else in life. Maybe its much more common to go to school now. Anywho...for me education is important. sorry!
Unless your older and already established, its kinda a crap shoot as to where the guy is gonna end up. If he is at least in college, you know he has ambition to do something. Intelligence is very attractive to some...granted you cant get common sense from a class room but you can gain greater understanding of the world.
Im only 22 and I have met guys who didnt go to school...the entire lot of them were bums who would of gladly latched on and sucked off me after I have received my degree. The men i have met that are college educated have a desire to do something with themselves. I have found that these days...the vast majority of people who dont go to school have motivation to do little else in life. Maybe its much more common to go to school now. Anywho...for me education is important. sorry!
PinkOrchid
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lovechild27
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Ya..that is Definately true Orchid
I have found though that guys who go to college have more ambition to do something with their lives in general though. Slackers drive me nuts. I rather have a stupid man with ambition than a smart guy with none. Like I said...it could be just different times. I dont know how old you all are...(sounds like at least 6-8 years older than I am) and I prob date younger people...so things are bound to be diff.
I have found though that guys who go to college have more ambition to do something with their lives in general though. Slackers drive me nuts. I rather have a stupid man with ambition than a smart guy with none. Like I said...it could be just different times. I dont know how old you all are...(sounds like at least 6-8 years older than I am) and I prob date younger people...so things are bound to be diff.
Lust Engine
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I've always leaned toward intelligence & compatibility myself. Being book smart isn't even as half as smart as being street smart. Practicality & sensibility, along with a dash of ambition has always been pretty sexy. I've also considered confidence to be extremely attractive.
Wantonica
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Formal Education
PinkOrchid and LustEngine:
Thank you for placing very (IMHO) accurate posts which mirror my perceptions of education in life exactly. Hugs...
Lovechild:
Looking at things from your point of view, I understand why you put validity in the theories you mentioned. However, it then becomes interesting to see that you would "rather have a stupid man with ambition..." Be careful what you wish for! My ex-husband graduated from college. Let me add that he went for the sole purpose of delaying reality for a few years. He was not particularly intelligent, and it was my constant duty to provide him explanations for simple concepts. It became annoying.
I'm 37 years old and have the fortune (or misfortune) of no longer owning a pair of rose-colored glasses. Therefore, it is hard for me to any longer see love and happiness connected to certain levels of education. I'm sure you will look at things a little differently in the years to come. In the meantime, don't apologize for your standards. Set them high: ambitious, educated, secure in an upwardly mobile career AND intelligent. Then run like hell when someone who doesn't fit these standards makes your heart skip a beat! Best of luck...
BgMma:
De Sade is allowed to have his personal preferences and I'm allowed to have my pet peeves. I simply took the reaction his preferences caused in me and turned it into a topic of discussion. Thank you for telling me to grow up, it makes me feel so young! Happy day...
PinkOrchid and LustEngine:
Thank you for placing very (IMHO) accurate posts which mirror my perceptions of education in life exactly. Hugs...
Lovechild:
Looking at things from your point of view, I understand why you put validity in the theories you mentioned. However, it then becomes interesting to see that you would "rather have a stupid man with ambition..." Be careful what you wish for! My ex-husband graduated from college. Let me add that he went for the sole purpose of delaying reality for a few years. He was not particularly intelligent, and it was my constant duty to provide him explanations for simple concepts. It became annoying.
I'm 37 years old and have the fortune (or misfortune) of no longer owning a pair of rose-colored glasses. Therefore, it is hard for me to any longer see love and happiness connected to certain levels of education. I'm sure you will look at things a little differently in the years to come. In the meantime, don't apologize for your standards. Set them high: ambitious, educated, secure in an upwardly mobile career AND intelligent. Then run like hell when someone who doesn't fit these standards makes your heart skip a beat! Best of luck...
BgMma:
De Sade is allowed to have his personal preferences and I'm allowed to have my pet peeves. I simply took the reaction his preferences caused in me and turned it into a topic of discussion. Thank you for telling me to grow up, it makes me feel so young! Happy day...
Lust Engine
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Re: Re: College
To me, maturity & intellect have nothing to do with a piece of paper from an institution of higher learning. It's not like I'd ever turn down somebody if they didn't come from a certain pedigree. Are we asking for resumes from prospective dates now prior to making an intellectual connection??
"'Scuse me, but your GPA isn't high enough- sorry, can't date ya!"
While additional schooling proves something, it doesn't always prove compatibility.
BgMma99 said:
To me, maturity & intellect have nothing to do with a piece of paper from an institution of higher learning. It's not like I'd ever turn down somebody if they didn't come from a certain pedigree. Are we asking for resumes from prospective dates now prior to making an intellectual connection??
"'Scuse me, but your GPA isn't high enough- sorry, can't date ya!"
While additional schooling proves something, it doesn't always prove compatibility.
lovechild27
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LIke I said...I have met plenty of guys who were quite intelligent and would of gladly sucked off me had I let them. College is important to me...I value education. Sorry if that makes me wrong! The men I seem to be most compatible with are those who have higher education...I have yet to run into one who was a total idiot.
dollface007
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just to drive the college thing into the ground....
When people say they are looking for someone who is college educated, what they're REALLY saying (in most instances) is, "I want someone like me." We social scientists call this "homogamy"...marrying/dating someone who is like you in a number of ways that combine to make up your social status (race, income, family background, education, physical appearance, etc). Statistically speaking, most college educated women end up with college educated men. When college educated women end up with men are not college educated, it's usually because the men make up for this "lower status" in another way (money, life experience/age, social capital, etc). Historically, women tend to "marry up" and men tend to "marry down," but these days, most of us are looking for someone who is on equal social footing in one way or another.
I totally agree that a college education isn't everything! However, i don't think that people who say that they prefer to date a college educated individual are necessarily being elitist about it.
When people say they are looking for someone who is college educated, what they're REALLY saying (in most instances) is, "I want someone like me." We social scientists call this "homogamy"...marrying/dating someone who is like you in a number of ways that combine to make up your social status (race, income, family background, education, physical appearance, etc). Statistically speaking, most college educated women end up with college educated men. When college educated women end up with men are not college educated, it's usually because the men make up for this "lower status" in another way (money, life experience/age, social capital, etc). Historically, women tend to "marry up" and men tend to "marry down," but these days, most of us are looking for someone who is on equal social footing in one way or another.
I totally agree that a college education isn't everything! However, i don't think that people who say that they prefer to date a college educated individual are necessarily being elitist about it.
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white_mage_goddess
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Warning! Long rant ahead!
I'm 20 and it sounds like you might be somewhere near my age, but I have to say that I don't think age has anything to do with the way people look at this situation.
I went to college for a year and met nothing but spoiled little rich kids partying on Daddy's money and using college as an excuse not to go get a real job. I met VERY few college students who supported themselves.
Going to college doesn't mean you have ambition necessarily, although it depends on the cirmcumstance. A person whose going to college and working 2 jobs to support themselves ( as I had to do) is entirely different from a person whose going to college cause his/her parents feel like giving away several thousand dollars on a education their child will never use, since they spend all their "college" days out partying and avoiding the real world.
Meanwhile, I've known young men with no HIGH SCHOOL diploma, let alone a college one, who went out at a young age and worked their asses off as electricians, plumbers, welders, firemen, law enforcement/corrections, emts, etc and who were proud of their profession and made damn decent money. I'll take a guy like that over a college frat boy anyday.
Maybe I'm just opinionated on the subject because of my own personal situation. I have not completed a college education, and I get quite upset when people assume that means I am unambitious or stupid. I was valedictorian of my senior class, had a full ride scholarship, and ended up having to quit school after only a year because I couldn't handle the stress of a 60 hr work week, 20 hr school week, and going through a divorce on top of it.
I ended up in therepy and was fully convinced my life had been ruined. Now I have a wonderful job in the law enforcement/ corrections industry which not only pays good money, but which I find EXREMELY satisfying. Turns out quitting school was the best thing I ever did.
Am I any less intelligent than someone with a college degree? I don't think so. I have an IQ well over 140 and common sense to go with it. Every day I'm locked in a building with 50 to 200 prison inmates, and as a 5ft 3 inches tall woman, I believe common sense to be necessary to my managment of them.
Furthermore, don't anyone go thinking you have to go to college to make money. My parents make around 100 thousand a year combined, with NO college education (unless you count 6 months of police academy.) In my mind, that's pretty decent money to live on.
Anyway, I'm sorry to have rambled, but people need to remember that education has nothing to do with either ambition or intelligence. Give me a working man....I'd rather be with a welder or a plumber than some guy who sits on his ass in an office all day thinking about how special he is just cause Mommy and Daddy spent 50,000 on his college education.
lovechild27 said:
I'm 20 and it sounds like you might be somewhere near my age, but I have to say that I don't think age has anything to do with the way people look at this situation.
I went to college for a year and met nothing but spoiled little rich kids partying on Daddy's money and using college as an excuse not to go get a real job. I met VERY few college students who supported themselves.
Going to college doesn't mean you have ambition necessarily, although it depends on the cirmcumstance. A person whose going to college and working 2 jobs to support themselves ( as I had to do) is entirely different from a person whose going to college cause his/her parents feel like giving away several thousand dollars on a education their child will never use, since they spend all their "college" days out partying and avoiding the real world.
Meanwhile, I've known young men with no HIGH SCHOOL diploma, let alone a college one, who went out at a young age and worked their asses off as electricians, plumbers, welders, firemen, law enforcement/corrections, emts, etc and who were proud of their profession and made damn decent money. I'll take a guy like that over a college frat boy anyday.
Maybe I'm just opinionated on the subject because of my own personal situation. I have not completed a college education, and I get quite upset when people assume that means I am unambitious or stupid. I was valedictorian of my senior class, had a full ride scholarship, and ended up having to quit school after only a year because I couldn't handle the stress of a 60 hr work week, 20 hr school week, and going through a divorce on top of it.
I ended up in therepy and was fully convinced my life had been ruined. Now I have a wonderful job in the law enforcement/ corrections industry which not only pays good money, but which I find EXREMELY satisfying. Turns out quitting school was the best thing I ever did.
Am I any less intelligent than someone with a college degree? I don't think so. I have an IQ well over 140 and common sense to go with it. Every day I'm locked in a building with 50 to 200 prison inmates, and as a 5ft 3 inches tall woman, I believe common sense to be necessary to my managment of them.
Furthermore, don't anyone go thinking you have to go to college to make money. My parents make around 100 thousand a year combined, with NO college education (unless you count 6 months of police academy.) In my mind, that's pretty decent money to live on.
Anyway, I'm sorry to have rambled, but people need to remember that education has nothing to do with either ambition or intelligence. Give me a working man....I'd rather be with a welder or a plumber than some guy who sits on his ass in an office all day thinking about how special he is just cause Mommy and Daddy spent 50,000 on his college education.
lovechild27
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Ya know..IM speaking from my OWN personal experiences. I go to a private college where just about everyone is paying with loans and getting no help from parents..we are there because we want to be. I myself am very ambitious. Whats wrong with wanting someone similar? LIke I said above like six times...I have been with guys who had no drive who would of gladly sucked off me and never lifted a finger after I graduated. It does depend on the person. Would I not date a guy because he didnt go to college? Of course not. But I have yet to meet one who is half way decent. I have men on both ends of the spectrum and yes...I would much rather have the stupid amibtious guy than the smart guy who is a total bum. And not ALL people who go to college are partiers...just like all people who dont go to school are stupid and go no where.
College educated is just my preference. Sorry you all cant manage to swallow that.
College educated is just my preference. Sorry you all cant manage to swallow that.
PinkOrchid
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white_mage_goddess
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lovechild27 said:
I have no problem managing to accept that those are your preferences. Everyone has a right to their opinion. I'm just saying that I have hard time understanding that mind set. Maybe things are different at private colleges, but at the public college I attended I would estimate that well over 75percent were the spoiled brat,loafing off my parents, partying every night type.
You said you 've never met an uneducated man who was half way decent? You must live in a cave. I know personally about 30 young police officers and correctional officers with no education who are highly ambitious and making good money. Oh and several firefighters too and many other working men. What is your definition of ambitious? Mine is someone who wants to go out and work hard and make a good living at their job. Someone who cares about having a career and about having money in the bank.
I, without a complete education, am VERY ambitious. I am right now a low ranking officer at my job and I have EVERY intention of being at least a lietenant one day if not higher. That's a very big goal in a job where very few high ranking officers are female.
I respect that you don't want to date men who aren't ambitious, cause I am EXACTLY the same way. I don't date men who want to loaf around and live off other people. Thats the reason I divorced my ex husband and thats also the reason I wouldn't date most college boys I know. Show me a college boy whose working his ass off and if I was single, I'd definately go out with him. But I'd never date any guy who was 20 years old and still loafing off his parents. I just wasn't raised like that.
My parents make good money but they weren't going to support me after I became an adult. I mean if an emergency came up (like my divorce) then of course they would help me out. But they were set on showing me how to be a responsible adult. People assumed my family was poor because they didn't help me while I was in school. They never even thought that maybe my parents HAD money but expected me to learn to take care of myself.
I am now with a wonderful uneducated, highly intelligent man. He didn't even finish high school, but he's very hard working and ambitious. I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend/future husband.
My main point is don't assume just cause someone didnt go to college that they are unambitious. Many people are unable to go to college, even though they want to. Many people can't afford it. Its VERY hard to get loans down here and scholarships are impossbile unless your valedictorian or an excellent athlete or just dirt poor. An averagely intelligent, unathletic, middle class student has no choice down here but to pay their own way or have their parents pay it.
lovechild27 said:
I don't think it's that anyone can't 'swallow' it. It's simply that many of us read that and think, "wow, she is missing SO many wonderful opportunities"!
My boyfriend has some college experience. He dropped out of college to pursue a career in the recording industry. And he's one of the most intelligent people I know. I have a degree, and he can run circles around me in the brains department, any day. And I graduated at the top of my class!
But the fact is...the people in his class who went on and graduated? Most of them are flipping burgers. That boyfriend of mine, who dropped out? He makes an easy, moderate six figure income with his guitar and lack of a degree.
So...like I told DeSade...lots of assumptions flying around here.
S.
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