Danny Kaye Rocks

[Outlaw]

Brockhurst! (jingle jingle)"Excellent"
Finsdale! (jingle jingle) "Fantastic"
Pertwee! (jingle drop cup) "Magnificent"

 

[Madame Pandora]

[/i]#"His name, his name, and now his blood must flow. Light up the oil, this man must boil, this man named Giaco- mo? oh! No!"#[/i]

 

[Madame Pandora]

The Literotica version of "Fiddler". I can see it now. We open with Woody onstage singing the opening number:

"Litigation!"

Oh Lord...I just hurt something laughing at this one...

I can't even think of someone witty to have sing Matchmaker

MP

 

[Outlaw]

Rejoice, rejoice, although his brain is brief,
For when the larder's empty, she'll have a ton of beef!
Nyeahhh!

 

[Madame Pandora]

"Well, if it's mortal combat you want, then mortal combat you shall have! At the hands of Giacomo, knight of the realm, defender of the soil, protector of the crown... protector of the crown...Oo, oh, OW! Good stock. Good battle. Good bye!"

 

[Outlaw]

Her handkerchief, her handkerheart, her heartkerchief...

I'm not loo loo looing sire, I'm willow willow wailing.

 

[Madame Pandora]

"Sir Griswold, declare a choice of weapon."
"Mace and chain."

"Sir Giacomo, declare a choice of weapon."
"I'll take one of those, one of those, eh, a couple of those... and... I better take them all."

MP

 

[Outlaw]

Touching his lips with the vigorous wine.
Yea verily yea

 

[Madame Pandora]

"Take that horse and put it back under that idiot!"

MP

 

[Outlaw]

DO you have a twitch?
"A twitch?! I twitch only for action!"

"For murder and abduction I'm your man. You've paid your price, name your plan."

 

[Madame Pandora]

ACK!! I'm running out of quotes!!

"There'd be more room if you raised your arm. The other one."

MP

 

[Outlaw]

Caution is for popinjayes and cockatoos!
(squark)
Begging your pardon.

 

[Madame Pandora]

"First, plan one. Are you sure you can dispose of my lords Brockhurst, Finsdale, and Pertry?"
"Are they married?"
"Yes..."
"Order flowers for the widows. Get it?"
"Got it."
"Good."

MP

 

[Outlaw]

With your permission, milady, I'd like to go 'round again.

 

[Madame Pandora]

Oh, no, Giacomo, we must be discreet.

 

[Outlaw]

Now Ravenhurst, you rat-ta-ta!!
(CHing ching, sword noises)

 

[Madame Pandora]

I am Grizelda?
Gruhwhoolda?

MP

 

[Outlaw]

Ears of bat and toes of swine,
Chicken gizzards soaked in brine,
Now your eyen and mine entwine,
Snap my fingers thou art mine!

 

[Madame Pandora]

Stand there, fool.
Stand there, fool.
Silence!
Silence!

MP

 

[Outlaw]

Fear not master,
As roses climb the thorny vine,
The regal maiden shall be mine.

 

[Madame Pandora]

"Yes, master. You can snap me in and snap me out."

MP

 

[Outlaw]

On your feet, be not afraid, you are the greatest with a blade!

 

[Madame Pandora]

"You are a figure of romance, spirit and action, but also humble and tender. You are a man of iron with the soul of a poet. You are adventurous, gay, but with a lovers brooding melancholy - and above all - you must show passion!"

"Hm?"

"Show passion!"

"Grrrr."

 

[Outlaw]

Not Me you Fool!!!

 

[Siren]

Yea Danny is great...or was great....