Damned it you do, or don't morning. 01/05/01

[Sparky Kronkite]

Few discussions lead a male down the path to hell as does attempting to discuss his woman's weight, even when she brings the subject up.

It doesn't matter either - too little, too much or your preference in female body dimension. Humor doesn't matter - to her. The joke: "Baby you look perfect, I prefer my women plump." Fails every time, even though it's funny. Encouragement doesn't matter - to her. The suggestion: "Baby, if you work out, you could have the body of a female weight lifter."

In fact, I can think of "no phrase" regarding this matter "that won't" be misconstrued by your female partner in a negative manner.

Men, my advise - steer completely clear. Silence is golden here.

Ladies, I implore of you - try to come up with any male originated sentence that would never piss of a woman regarding this issue. I frankly don't think you can come up with one.

Feelin' about a 10 this morning. Except for all the frozen dog turds in the snow - today appears to be launching itself perfectly.

 

[R Nitelight]

Mornin', Sparky.

 

[Cheyenne]

I've had better mornings. But I think I know someone else who is having an even worse morning right now if he is reading the board lurking as I assume he is.

 

[Ambrosious]

Frozen dog turds in the snow...

You must write for the Chamber of Commerce or something. That was downright poetic.


Morning Sparky. Feeling fine down south.

 

[KillerMuffin]

I live with a narcisstic bodybuilder, so I actually get a taste of my own medicine. I only ask him if he thinks my butt looks big when I want to make him suffer.

The best method for dealing with that question is by outflanking and attacking from behind. Get your gawddamn marines in order and taker her down. Get the proper hangdog kicked puppy expression and ask her why she wants to hurt you like that. That'll startle the hell out of her, then press onward wanting to know why she's torturing you by asking questions you can't possibly answer because there is nothing you can say that she'll believe, even if it's the truth, or that won't hurt her. Whining and tears work for me.

After you get the frozen dogturds in NYC, wanna come dig the ones outta the snow in my yard? The StudMuffin took off for parts unknown without accomplishing his assigned mission. He's going to get some NJP when his AWOL ass gets back.

 

[Juliangel]

Mornin' Sparky and the rest of ya too.

Sparky try this:
"Baby you know your butt looks great, now stop fishing for compliments and let me hand them out as I see fit."

 

[Purple Haze]

Good Morning Literoticans

Silence is golden Sparky, can't seem to find a way out of this one, you can't even joke your way out.

As far as the frozen dog turds go, I shoot 'em across the street with my snowblower, (ping! ping! ping!)

 

[Expertise]

I prefer frozen "lawn mines" far less messy to clean up.

Morning Sparky 8.0 this morning. About 3/4's spoiling fo a fight after all the trolling yesterday.

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Yeah Exp....

I set up that Troll net to no avail......

Just wasn't in the right fishing spot I guess.

These Trolls are smart.

 

[Expertise]

*In my best John Lovitz voice*

Slippery as Eels Sparky, slippery as eels....

 

[Juliangel]

Morning Sparky 8.0 this morning. About 3/4's spoiling fo a fight after all the trolling yesterday.

Glad you are feelin so good this morning sweetie.

Trolls were out yesterday.....I missed them will have to go back and look, should have stayed online instead of getting ready for my inlaws.