Damn...this is really starting to get me down.

[Cirrus]

This isn't really BDSM perse, if someone feels it justifies a move, then by all means do so. I just wanted to start here because I feel most comfortable with you guys.

My Dom and I have little problem...well, it's more than little and it's more mine, actually. Every time we have frequent sex, I get sick. Let me explain...

About a month ago (and this is going to get gross, so if you don't want to read that kind of thing stop now, you've been warned) we had sex in the morning, then again in the afternoon. First time we'd ever done that. The next evening we had sex again. Immediately after I was struck with a fever, aches and chills. I thought it was just shit coincidence and that I was coming down with something, went home, took some Advil for the aches and fever and crashed. Woke up the next morning feeling great, thinking I just had a 24 hour fluke cold or flu or something and the fever got rid of it. Wrong.

I went to the bathroom, and after doing my business was greated with a LOT of discharge from a place you don't want discharge, and of a color you don't want to see. Thinking I was dying or something, I went to the walk in clinic and they SWORE it was an STD even though I told them I was 100% sure it wasn't. Cipro and doxycycline later, I was back at my regular Dr. who diagnosed both BV and a yeast infection, clean of all STDs. I did my thing with the various meds and got better.

Now, the same thing has happened again. Had sex twice, and I'm sick. I can't understand it...he has NO symptoms, and he almost always washes he hands and penis before we have sex with antibacterial soap. I don't always lubricate like I should, so afte the last round with this we've been using KY or Astroglide every time. We're not doing anything overtly stupid like transferring anything from the anus to the vagina, and we're not going in for marathon sessions either. The longest we have actual penetrative sex is 20 minutes or so.

I'm sick of being sick. I'm starting to fear sex for the thought of going through all this again. My guy is getting tired of it as well, because he thinks the same thing. He wants to be able to make love to me again without getting me sick. I don't think it's asking so much to want to make love more than twice a month with someone you care about.

Any help...suggestions...anyone? The doctors haven't been able to do much, and frankly, they don't seem to care too much. Ever notice how when the problem has to do with a man's sexuality, they're all over it, when it's a woman, they couldn't care less?

 

[CarolineOh]

Something must have changed in order to cause this, are you taking any new medications, or have you changed birth control methods?

 

[lilfrk]

Most likely he is giving you the yeast and bacterial infections. You both need to go to the same Doctor at the same time and take the same meds so that you can break the cycle of infection. Men get these infections and don't even know they have them, pass them to the woman and then blame them for it. It's common.

Just a little FYI...antibacterial soap is lovely. It really really is...BUT if you don't wash your hands or whatever for at least 30 seconds it's useless. It does more harm than good because it makes the bacteria immune to it and you get a superbug that can't be killed.


Good luck, feel better.

 

[Cirrus]

Caroline...nope, nothing different at all. Just a different partner. He's getting checked out ASAP, he can't get in to his doc for like a week, and I asked my gyno to see him and/or prescribe him something and she says she really can't do that, that he has to see his GP or urologist. So we shall see, we shall see.

Thanks for the good wishes as well, lilfrk.

 

[lilfrk]

anytime...

Between now and when he sees his Doctor I think I'd use a condom just to see if that make a difference. Just a thought.

 

[WillowPuss]

I may be completely off track here ... but it is possible that you are having a reaction to his semen.


I have a friend who has developed this allergy (she is secretly quite pleased about it right now ... but different story).

I seem to remember that she was put on some kind of medication that overcame the problem.

 

[Sandia]

Um, I was gonna say that too, Willow. I know that some women are allergic to some men's semen... though I have no idea what the symptoms would be.

 

[WillowPuss]

I have been trying to remeber what my friend said

Her symptoms were similar to those of cirrus, crossed with a cystitis type thing.
The odd thing was that they had been together some time before this allergy spang up.

 

[CarolineOh]

I have been trying to remeber what my friend said

Her symptoms were similar to those of cirrus, crossed with a cystitis type thing.
The odd thing was that they had been together some time before this allergy spang up.

Allergies can be progressive, becoming more severe with repeated exposure.

 

[MsWorthy]

Cirrus, I have two ideas that may help.

1. Hormonal shift. Do you mind if I ask your age? The reason I ask is if you are pre-/peri-/post-menopausal (or actually in menopause) your body is experiencing a hormonal shift which not only affects your sex life (not to mention hot flashes, night sweats, and mood changes) but can also change the way your body reacts to almost everything. So, along with the decrease in lubrication, you may also have a reaction to a new partners sperm, as Willow suggested, and the bacteria that is naturally on his body (this could be causing the vaginal infections).

My partner and I are having a similar problem with uti(s) and oral sex. Since menopause (I am only 42 but am in menopause), every time she performs cunnilingus I get a bladder infection. This was very upsetting to her (so I understand your partner's feelings) and although she is willing to stop having sex this way, it is her favorite (no oral seems to be a soft limit...lol). After several uti(s) and quite a bit of discussion with my doc, I have found that taking 1 antibiotic after oral sex (or at the first sign of uti) prevents these infections. Many doctors will prescribe a preventative regimen of antibiotics when a predisposition has been established.

~In my opinion, woman experience a hormonal shift every 7 years, with puberty and menopause being the most drastic.~

Now, the same thing has happened again. Had sex twice, and I'm sick. I can't understand it...he has NO symptoms, and he almost always washes he hands and penis before we have sex with antibacterial soap. I don't always lubricate like I should, so afte the last round with this we've been using KY or Astroglide every time. We're not doing anything overtly stupid like transferring anything from the anus to the vagina, and we're not going in for marathon sessions either. The longest we have actual penetrative sex is 20 minutes or so.

2. The increase in sexual activity could be causing the infections. During penetration, anything that is in his groin area will be pushed into your urethra and vagina. This includes sweat, body oils, lube, pubic hair, etc., and all of the bacteria and/or yeast inherent in these materials.

Perhaps the problem with infection does not occur when sex is less frequent because your body has longer to dispel these irritants. You may also notice this infection occurring when you have more "rough" sex as well (more vigorous grinding or thrusting), as these irritants are pushed deeper and consequently less easily discharged.

Also, as lilfrk suggested, your partner could very well have the infections and not have any symptoms, so he simply passes them back to you. I think it is a good idea to have him checked.

~thank you lilfrk, for the information on anti-bacterial soap. It is amazing how long 30 seconds is when you are washing your hands.~

 

[Lancecastor]

Canary in a coal mine

I think current women's heath issues in north america are analogous to canaries in coal mines.

There is much current literature of various flavours about environmental and stress impacts on female endrocrine systems.

(An aside: Though you mentioned men getting all the health attention, I'd beg to differ...if it is outside the operation of our hydraulic fun unit, most men's health literature is in fact quite scant by comparison to women's health resources, I'd suggest.)

Anyway, your current health issues might not be sex-related.

Could be cumulative stress, the air at work, pesticides in your neighborhood...a myriad of things.

I've seen environmental illness up close and personal, so rapid body system changes deserve scrutiny in my view.

A good starting point is to list all changes in your life you've made or seen over the past year or so.

Or...maybe you are pregnant. :-0

The 7 year hormone shift theory is one I saw in this thread and also have seen anecdotally.

All the best;
LC

 

[lilfrk]

Re: Canary in a coal mine

(An aside: Though you mentioned men getting all the health attention, I'd beg to differ...if it is outside the operation of our hydraulic fun unit, most men's health literature is in fact quite scant by comparison to women's health resources, I'd suggest.)

That's not really true at all. Almost all scientific research for diseases, meds and new procedures are tested first on men. A lot of things never get fully and properly tested on women at all. Doctors just assume that if it works for men it will for women. The only exception to that is of course female reproductive things which can't be tested on men. They don't have the parts.



MsWorthy...Isn't 30 seconds forever and a damn day when you're washing your hands?

 

[Lancecastor]

Re: Re: Canary in a coal mine

That's not really true at all. Almost all scientific research for diseases, meds and new procedures are tested first on men. A lot of things never get fully and properly tested on women at all. Doctors just assume that if it works for men it will for women. The only exception to that is of course female reproductive things which can't be tested on men. They don't have the parts.



MsWorthy...Isn't 30 seconds forever and a damn day when you're washing your hands?

Regarding research... yes, you are correct...done mostly on men and rodents, because of our similar genetic structure. Plus, men and rats will do almost anything to get beer money.


Cheers;
LC