Dad Jokes

[LadyGreyFortress]

What is the tallest building in the world?





The library—it's got the most stories.

 

[honeybee_sweet]

I just heard a joke about paper. I’d tell it here, but thinking about it?
It’s pretty tear-able.

 

[honeybee_sweet]

What do you call a magician who has lost his magic?

Ian.

 

[HusbandNextD00r]

What happens when frogs park illegally?


-----------
-------
----

They get toad.

 

[honeybee_sweet]

I was going to post a time traveling joke, but you guys didn’t get it.

 

[CitrineSunshine]

Why did the oatmeal cookie go to the doctor?

He was feeling crumby.

 

[curl4ever]

I was going to post a time traveling joke, but you guys didn’t get it.

 

[ATPCTCDT]

Why was the weigh lifter frustrated?


Because he worked with dumbbells

 

[Chernosoth]

When God created Woman
She had not two breasts but three
And the middle one got in the way
So God performed surgery.
And Woman stood in front of God
With the middle breast in her hand
She said, “What can we do with the useless boob?”
And God created Man.

https://www.garrisonkeillor.com/radio/bad-jokes/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXMD7ktUJZY

 

[SithLordSexyPants1]

What's the difference between a rooster and a hooker?


A rooster says "Cock-a-doodle-do"
A hooker says "Any cock will do"

 

[HusbandNextD00r]

What do you call an ugly dinosaur?


.......
..............
.......................


An EyeSaur

 

[HusbandNextD00r]

My wife said I was immature, so I told her to get out of my fort.

 

[HusbandNextD00r]

Why do melons have weddings?

....
......
.........

Because they cantaloupe.

 

[honeybee_sweet]

What is the difference between unlawful and illegal?

One is a violation of the law.

The other is a sick bird.

 

[honeybee_sweet]

Why do melons have weddings?

....
......
.........

Because they cantaloupe.

Haha! Love it!

 

[Not Normal]

Why does a chicken coop only have 2 doors?

Because, if it had 4, it'd be a chicken sedan.

_

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?

*shrug* eleph-I-know.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhN9BK56PTg

When does a regular joke become a Dad joke?

When it becomes apparent.

meta

 

[honeybee_sweet]

Why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?

…

……

…………

Swarm.

 

[ATPCTCDT]

What do you call a bullet proof Irishman?


Rick O’Shay

 

[HusbandNextD00r]

How does a scientist freshen her breath?


...............
.........
......


With experi-MINTS!

 

[islandman]

My friend David lost his ID........

.........now he's known as 'Dav'.

 

[HusbandNextD00r]

Where do Pirates like to go camping?

............
.........
...


ARRRRRRkansas.

 

[Conager]

The Doctor called after my genome was mapped.

"It's concerning that a section of your genome is encoded backwards. . ."

"AND?!??"

 

[HusbandNextD00r]

Small babies are delivered by a stork.

For larger babies they use a crane.

 

[Awallflower]

Why should you never play hide and seek with a Pokémon?

Because they will peek-at-u (Pikachu).

 

[Biggs_Darklighter]

First rule of dad jokes is that they are G rated. Too many dirty ones here.
That being said, dad jokes rock. There is no better feeling than telling one, having a kid roll their eyes and then laugh at the same time.
Mission accomplished.