Cyber sex...what's your take?

[Lilin Penn]

Everyone has an opinion on cyber sex, so I thought I would ask here and see what you all think.

The other night some guy read my stories and then tagged me on Yahoo. I love to meet new people and talk to people who have read my work so I was nice and chipper.

After a bit of talking I found he was happily married, then he hit me up for some "cyber love". I asked how a happily married man could be looking for a cyber lover and he then said that his wife didn't have the sex drive he did. So he would have "online experiences" to satiate his libedo.

We then launched into a debate on whether cyber sex was really cheating or not.

To me it is. It's sex without the fluid transfer. Maybe that's a bit prudish from someone who writes smut, but to me my stories are my creations and I'm not talking my way to an orgasm with anyone else.

As I said when I thoguht of tossing this out there, I just wonder what other peoples opinions are on this.

 

[Dar~]

I don't think cyber sex is cheating at all. Neither does my husband. Until recently though I didn't see the practicality of it. Now I have been taught a little about how it can be done without messing up the keyboard, not from experience mind you, but from asking people how the heck they do it. Sorry if this isn't what you were expecting.

 

[Lilin Penn]

I don't think cyber sex is cheating at all. Neither does my husband. Until recently though I didn't see the practicality of it. Now I have been taught a little about how it can be done without messing up the keyboard, not from experience mind you, but from asking people how the heck they do it. Sorry if this isn't what you were expecting.

It is exactly what I was expecting. I'm simply looking for opinions.

 

[The_Fool]

I'm still waiting for a keyboard condom.....I only want to practice safe cyber sex....

 

[Dar~]

I'm still waiting for a keyboard condom.....I only want to practice safe cyber sex....

I will help you practice fool . . .

 

[sophia jane]

Does cyber sex count as cheating?

That's a good question. I think it depends on the nature of the relationship between the cyber sex partners. I don't consider watching porn or reading erotica cheating, so I don't really think two strangers having a little cyber fun is marital infidelity.

However- I do think that it is possible for a cyber relationship to become an "affair." You don't necessarily have to have sex to be unfaithful to your spouse; it is just as possible to be emotionally unfaithful, something that can happen easily online.

SJ

 

[Lilin Penn]

To me it is. It's sex without the fluid transfer.

This came from numerous discussions with my husband. While I am way more open minded than he is, he is the one who over the last 7 years has drilled it in my head that "cybering" is what the quoted passage states. Sex without fluid transfer.

 

[Lilin Penn]

However- I do think that it is possible for a cyber relationship to become an "affair." You don't necessarily have to have sex to be unfaithful to your spouse; it is just as possible to be emotionally unfaithful, something that can happen easily online.

SJ

I can see that completely. Maybe that's what my husband is hung up on. Thanks!

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

I don't see a difference between phone sex and cyber sex worth mentioning--degree of human contact isn't the issue there, just medium. If my wife were having phone sex with some guy, I would call that being unfaithful, in some way.

 

[LadyJeanne]

Depends on the intent, in my view. It might just be assisted, interactive masturbation, or it might be cheating if there's more to it.

Phone sex is one degree closer to cheating, but if it's a 900 number, it's closer to assisted masturbation.

You might never even touch a person in real life, but if you're emotionally involved, that's cheating.

 

[Lilin Penn]

I don't see a difference between phone sex and cyber sex worth mentioning--degree of human contact isn't the issue there, just medium. If my wife were having phone sex with some guy, I would call that being unfaithful, in some way.

Forgive me if I sound like a moron, but after 4 hours of idiotic customers my brain tends to shut off...so you're saying that phone and cyber are the same essentially?

 

[The_Fool]

Depends on the intent, in my view. It might just be assisted, interactive masturbation, or it might be cheating if there's more to it.

Phone sex is one degree closer to cheating, but if it's a 900 number, it's closer to assisted masturbation.

You might never even touch a person in real life, but if you're emotionally involved, that's cheating.

Oh just slap me and send me home. I had such an ornery comment to make, but I'll save it for another time....

 

[Lilin Penn]

Oh just slap me and send me home. I had such an ornery comment to make, but I'll save it for another time....

make the comment!!!! enquiring minds want to know!

 

[LadyJeanne]

Oh just slap me and send me home. I had such an ornery comment to make, but I'll save it for another time....

*raises one eyebrow*

Do tell, dearest. You know what happens when you try to hold these things back.

 

[The_Fool]

make the comment!!!! enquiring minds want to know!

Was just going to tease LadyJeanne about her logic

You might never even touch a person in real life, but if you're emotionally involved, that's cheating.

So does this imply that touching a person in real life, but not being emotionally involved mean you're not cheating???


Just frivolous, false, phallic logic.....

 

[LadyJeanne]

So does this imply that touching a person in real life, but not being emotionally involved mean you're not cheating???


Just frivolous, false, phallic logic.....

You know, the little eye-rolling smilie just isn't as satisfying as the one we used to have.

 

[Lilin Penn]

I had a co-worker and close friend point out that if you do something (kiss, fondle, cyber...whatever) that you can't tell your S/O about then it's cheating.

That made sense to me.

 

[Dar~]

My husband knows all my dirty little secrets . . andthe big ones for that matter.

 

[4degrees]

Cyber sex...what's your take?

I'll definetly take it.

And give it.

And write stories about taking/giving it, and post cyber session that were copy/pasted in unexpected places.

Yeah, I cyber with someone whom I've gotten quite involved with. My partner knows, but maybe not to the extent of which we are involved. My cyber buddy is also attached, and I think his partner might not be quite as accepting of his cyber fun as mine is.

Unfortunatly, my partner views my online sex as a means to keep me from badgering him for sex. And now, its seeming better, and more real than the 'real' thing anyway.

 

[carsonshepherd]

I had a co-worker and close friend point out that if you do something (kiss, fondle, cyber...whatever) that you can't tell your S/O about then it's cheating.

That made sense to me.

Might be true....

keeps me from cheating for real, though. I suck at relationships. They get in the way of my sex life.

 

[DrFreud]

Cyber sex...what's your take?

I'll definetly take it.

And give it.

And write stories about taking/giving it, and post cyber session that were copy/pasted in unexpected places.

Yeah, I cyber with someone whom I've gotten quite involved with. My partner knows, but maybe not to the extent of which we are involved. My cyber buddy is also attached, and I think his partner might not be quite as accepting of his cyber fun as mine is.

Unfortunatly, my partner views my online sex as a means to keep me from badgering him for sex. And now, its seeming better, and more real than the 'real' thing anyway.

So do you consider cyber cheating or not. Could not make it out from your post.
Just curious...

DrF

 

[Lilin Penn]

So do you consider cyber cheating or not. Could not make it out from your post.
Just curious...

DrF

you didn't say either DrF...what do you think?

 

[rgraham666]

It's better than no sex at all, and I speak from years of experience.

However, should I be in a relationship (an event with about the same probability as Fidel Castro fellating George Bush) I would stop. Relationships are too precious and fragile to risk over simply getting your rocks off.

 

[sophia jane]

It's better than no sex at all, and I speak from years of experience.

However, should I be in a relationship (an event with about the same probability as Fidel Castro fellating George Bush) I would stop. Relationships are too precious and fragile to risk over simply getting your rocks off.

This is true, which begs the point- if a person is in a happy relationship what are they doing looking for cyber sex?

SJ

 

[Lilin Penn]

Relationships are too precious and fragile to risk over simply getting your rocks off.

I like the way you said that. That was also the point I was trying to make to the man wanting me to cyber.

Flirting is one thing, like what you see around the boards...I think flirting is harmless.