"Cyber collars are made of pixel dust, fantasies and illusions."

[Xelebes]

Pixel dust has lots of valuable vitamins, you know.

 

[Blushing Bottom]

Oh...oh...oh...help I've got some pixel dust in my eye.

http://www.steel-door.com/Formal_Collar.html

You gotta love Mistress Steel.

 

[Etoile]

http://www.steel-door.com/Formal_Collar.html

You gotta love Mistress Steel.

*barf*

 

[WriterDom]

*barf*

barf? Really? Well, the only vote that counts with me is Caspian. And all he knows is love.

 

[Etoile]

barf? Really? Well, the only vote that counts with me is Caspian. And all he knows is love.

Eh, the *barf* was just because it was kind of saccharine. Cloying, if you will. Sappy, even. That's all I meant by the *barf* comment.

okay, I admit it, I stopped reading after "collar of consideration"

 

[serijules]

okay, I admit it, I stopped reading after "collar of consideration"

I love you

 

[Netzach]

It's funny because in reading this, I feel the same way about "collars of consideration " and "training collars" as she does about cyber collars. (no comment on cyber collars). Oddly enough, the only place I have ever seen a collar of consideration or training collar is online. I have never met anyone in real life at all the clubs and parties I've been to and all the lifestyle folks I've met that did anything of this sort. Makes you wonder.

I've always felt you either collar someone or you don't. Why all these stages? It's like it came about because the lifestyle is trying so hard to mimic marriage by having dating and engagement stages (aka consideration and training). While the commitment level is very similar, it IS different and it bothers me that everything BDSM has to somehow be compared to a vanilla equivalent of it to be valid or understood.

It seems disrespectful to the permanence a collar represents to have a testing stage, a throwaway version. Things like this just have too much of a "game" feeling for me, and I'm not much of a fan of BDSM for fun and games, at least not where collars are involved. If you just play in the bedroom or for sexual fun, why even bring a collar into the equation?

The rest of the article is great. I just can't relate to the final stage blah blah part.

Just my opinion by the way, despite my feelings on the collars mentioned, I give them the same respect I would anyone else. If it works for you, I'm glad. I'm also entitled to my opinion and wanted to share why I don't like the concept. Ma'am has a girl she met online years ago and collared when she was new to the lifestyle, and the relationship is still intact. While I don't believe in cyber collars, I DO believe in and respect that they have a special relationship with one another.

Yuh huh. I have never been exposed to this little collary trifecta system outside the Steeliverse. It still makes me think "huh?" because I've never actually encoutered it aside from people who've read that and felt a need to do it that way.

 

[graceanne]

Ok, this thread was getting so much attention that I went ahead and forced myself to read the whole article. (I opened it briefly, then stopped reading.) And all I have to say is this:

 

[Life_Noir]

i've noticed several posters with trollish behavior here in this forum recently...guess it's that time of year...

*shrug*
It comes and it goes.........
I used to sort of enjoy a good go-round here...But it got to where it seems like it's the same thing over and over {the arguments that is}.
Just sort of makes yah tired after a while...

 

[Trajal]

Eh, the *barf* was just because it was kind of saccharine. Cloying, if you will. Sappy, even. That's all I meant by the *barf* comment.

okay, I admit it, I stopped reading after "collar of consideration"

You're just jealous that you don't have a cyb0r collar!

Cyber collars make me lol.

 

[minx1]

I love my pixel collar and I wear it proudly......it's strong and binds me to him until we meet.

thanks for your post Evil Geoff, it sums up my thoughts, much better than I could lol

In terms of the article, I'm with a couple of the other posters...I kinda gave up after the consideration collar.

 

[Xelebes]

Why does pixel dust taste like bananas?

 

[graceanne]

Why does pixel dust taste like bananas?

Wouldn't you like to know.

 

[JupitersGirl]

I can understand the training collar, but what is the purpose of the consideration collar? "Stay away ... I'm thinking about taking this submissive on? Not my cup of tea, really.

 

[FurryFury]

Not to take anything away from anyone who is into cyber collars but unless it was important to my Dom, I'd not want to go there. In my mind is a whole deal about living together or at least seeing each other in person on a regular basis being part of the whole collaring thing. That's just me though.

Also, again a "consideration" collar would have to be important to my Dom because to me that just smacks of an indecision that would drive me nuts.

I basically see a collar as the commitment symbol of a BDSM couple in RL.

If someone is into cyber or consideration collar and their SO is too, I've got no problem with that. I wish them much happiness. It's just not something I'm into for me.

Fury

 

[minx1]

I think I may have been in a flippant mood when I referred to my cyber collar lol.
To be honest I have never heard of other subbies having a cyber collar! Are we just talking figuratively here.....I mean if a cyber collar is an understanding between a Dom and their sub about their commitment to their ongoing relationship and acknowledging that once they are together the sub will be collared...then I guess I have one? In that I am his already and not looking for anyone else and vice versa?

If its an 'imaginary collar' that my Master gave during 'cyber collaring ceremony'......I don't lol (though I have to say, if that works for some...go for it)

If its something else, will someone please tell me?!!

*laugh* confused? yup!

 

[minx1]

Not to take anything away from anyone who is into cyber collars but unless it was important to my Dom, I'd not want to go there. In my mind is a whole deal about living together or at least seeing each other in person on a regular basis being part of the whole collaring thing. That's just me though.

Also, again a "consideration" collar would have to be important to my Dom because to me that just smacks of an indecision that would drive me nuts.

I basically see a collar as the commitment symbol of a BDSM couple in RL.

If someone is into cyber or consideration collar and their SO is too, I've got no problem with that. I wish them much happiness. It's just not something I'm into for me.

Fury

oh Damn Fury I just read your post properly and now I understand!

just woke up lol....probably a bad idea to post until I am wake!

 

[WriterDom]

Offering a consideration collar to someone

A. you've never met

OR

B. You've only met once

Makes a lot of sense to me.

But different strokes for different folks.

 

[Chris_Xavier]

No comment on the cyber collars thing because I know the firestorm that kind of thing always sets off around here, and I just ain't in the mood.

The only thing that really bugs me about that article is the whole "This Is How It's Done" tone. Does that mean that just because B. only gave me one collar, and he did it in the privacy of my apartment with no great ceremony or outrageous scene afterwards that I'm any less his slave? I'm a quiet, private person in my everyday life, so I appreciated the intimacy of it. I don't think there's any one collaring formula, and I don't think that Mistress Steel necessarily does, either, but that's the way the article reads nonetheless.

You are now less "collared" because it was done in private than you would be any less married if you and B had run off to Mexico.. Las Vegas or the next county and gotten married w/o all the huuhaha.

There are people who like all the "high drama" of a large formal gathering and there are those who just like quiet intimate gatherings.

If you are in a relationship that is part of a D/s community.. those in the community you share would probably expect to be invited to the ceremony - if nothing else because they are a part of the relationship. If you are a closet D/s couple.. then doing things in private is appropriate as well.

 

[Chris_Xavier]

I can understand the training collar, but what is the purpose of the consideration collar? "Stay away ... I'm thinking about taking this submissive on? Not my cup of tea, really.

Sounds like a lack of commitment on the Ds part whereas the s is all the way in. Not exactly a two-way street, huh?

 

[WriterDom]

Sounds like a lack of commitment on the Ds part whereas the s is all the way in. Not exactly a two-way street, huh?

Are you trying to say that the s can't walk away from the relationship?

 

[Trajal]

Offering a consideration collar to someone

A. you've never met

OR

B. You've only met once

Makes a lot of sense to me.

But different strokes for different folks.

Why on gods green earth would anyone ever offer a collar of any fucking kind to either of those circumstances.

You're on acid if you think that is realistic and normal.

 

[WriterDom]

Why on gods green earth would anyone ever offer a collar of any fucking kind to either of those circumstances.

You're on acid if you think that is realistic and normal.

Different strokes for different folks. I think soccer sucks ass and is a sport for girls and sissies. And I don't care how many third world countries play it with a goat's bladder.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Why on gods green earth would anyone ...

wear

... a collar of any fucking kind.

You're on acid if you think that is realistic and normal.

Edited for what some normal people think of D/s in general.

Congrats. Your mindset bears remarkable prejudicial similarity. The real question should be why the fuck do you care?

 

[FurryFury]

Clearly different strokes

I've heard of some subs who went out, got a collar they picked out, then considered themselves collared, maybe with their Dom's attention to all this and maybe not. That's not my way but if it's their way, then fine. Clearly a collar means something to them that it doesn't to me.

And then there was the time I was at a demo and play party. This hot young chick presented me with a collar and asked me to collar her. Clearly it meant something else to her than it does to me. She found someone else willing to do that for her. I couldn't.

But all of us are relatively happy, (as far as I know), with whatever they believe a collar is. So that's good!

Fury