Curious and want to try BDSM....

[littlegirlslut]

Hey All -

This is my first post in Lit. I really would like to get into some S/D experiences but really have no idea how to go about finding someone with the same interests. I am currently single just getting out of a long term relationship where I was mostly in control. I don't want to be in control, I want to have someone else control me in our private life. The whole thought excites me to have someone with mutual respect know exactly what I want and need.

Any thoughts on this. I can definitely elaborate more if needed...

Curosity is Killing my Cat...

 

[PyroDemon]

Well you made the correct first step. Welcome to Lit. Just understanding what you want is the most important thing. You will hear the usual things, take it slow, read and learn, and take time to know someone before you go out and let just anyone lay a paddle to your ass. This world like any other can go to extremes and trust is most important. There are alot of people here you can ask or talk on just about any subject so never hesitate. Beware the trolls. Have fun, enjoy yourself, and again, welcome.

 

[littlegirlslut]

more info

I just wanted to give everyone a little bit more information about myself...

I am a 22 year old single bi/curious female, who until recently through some self exploration was rather prude about sex and sexual acts.

Now, I would like to embrace my sexual freedom and try some new things... I honestly just need to figure out how to find someone who wants the same.

 

[littlegirlslut]

sorry this was supposed to be posted in my other thread...

this can be deleted if the mods would like.

 

[NCShin]

read lots

 

[John_Mira]

Welcome to the thread and welcome to the lifestyle. My lovley girlfriend(and soon to be wife) and I play with BDSM alot. Earlier in our relationship we attempted to to a Master/slave type thing. As it turns out, it made neither of us happy. Now what we do is lots of spanking, mostly the fun stuff, light discipline or when we are in the mood.....which is frequently. I suggest that you start out with spanking...its easy enough to slide into that. You can act like a naughty girl infront of your Signifigant, daring them to spank you...and move from there. REad lots, ask questions here....we wont lie, just help. Its a great place for that. Always make sure BDSM experiences are with someone you trust. oh and have fun

 

[littlegirlslut]

I have dabbled in spanking and some minor bondage but nothing serious and it was more of a one time kind of thing.

Thank you for all the information though. There is so much here that I keep reading eveyrthing because I'm afraid i'm going to miss something!

I know it takes time and I'm in no rush at this point to move into anything serious. I'll just take it as it comes.

 

[lorddragonwolf]

explore have fun and be safe. As you start your journy you will learn more of what you want and what others would like from you.

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[psychone]

but really have no idea how to go about finding someone with the same interests.

Agreed, it can just happen like most relationships.

I started a relationship with someone and in the process of an "Anything you'd like to try?" type conversation, we found we both wanted to try bondage amongst other things. From there it became a pretty frequent enjoyable part of the sex. We had both never tried it before, reading is a good way to get ideas for how to try things. Probably best to start with simple stuff and see how far you both feel comfortable with. Improvisation also works well for getting things going.

 

[littlegirlslut]

I suppose this is true, I've just not found this to be the case but i know i am young and have many years to find out this way. however, if i know this is something i want to explore right away it's hard to just initiate without jumping through all the "normal" relationship hoops.

Thank you though for this advice, although I would like to be in a meaningful relationship with a Dom and not have to figure it out along the way.

 

[Vixandra]

Salutations and welcome to our world & to Lit, littlegirlslut.
Can we shorten that as LGS without vexing you?

If you're actively seeking a Dom/me I'd advise hitting the personals forum (BDSM side of course) and perhaps a few other "people finder" sites.
Be upfront and honest with any prospective dominant. Let them know you're eager to learn.
See if there's a local area munch you can attend. I'm sure there should be somewhere near you.
A munch is a plain-cloths gathering of BDSM'ers to talk about the lifestyle and just chat in general.

Outside that- read. Ask questions.
Finding the one you seek will take time but will be worth it in the end, so to speak.

 

[littlegirlslut]

Please shorten away LGS is perfectly fine.

 

[Miss Diva]

Hi LGS: I am also very new to the sub world. One thing for sure when meeting your DOM / Master is follow your intuition. One guy I met did not want to use safe words and did not want to use a condom. BIG RED FLAGS were waving at me. I dumped him very quickly.

My new Master, well it felt right from our first meeting. And we only talked on our first meeting. Then when we met for our first session, it took over one hour for me to become at ease. And I filled out the questionnaire of what I liked. I knew he liked anal but I don't so I put no. but we decided to revisit the questionnaire in six months.

Your DOM / Master must go at your own pace. This is what my Master is doing as he wants my first experience to be enjoyable. We even have a safe word if he is punishing me to hard. That is if he is spanking me and it is too hard I say my safe word and he eases off a little. We are still testing my limits.

Actually we have several safe words. I can get a very dry mouth, so we have a safe word for water and my Master will also ask me if I need water. Also I have a herniated disk so he takes that into consideration.

And before and after each session we talk openly about our feelings and what went on. I find that important.

Your Master must go at your own pace not his.

Good luck and enjoy.

 

[littlegirlslut]

Thank you so much for your insight everyone. I am still looking for more information. Now that I have read a lot of the library things make much more sense. Also in talking with some people a lot of my questions have been answered, which are just bringing up more questions....

If anyone else has stories/examples of good and bad new situations I would appreciate it.

Thanks again.
LGS

 

[nastywacouple]

LGS, female sub are hard to cum by, new ones as your self are like bait to want a bees Dom's. You must understand that if you deside to meet some one should be public setting. The next thing is they should want to take it slow, if you are willing to commit, they should have No problem showing you there ID, an if you have a close friend that you can safe call every hour, that good as well YOUR saftey is #1, these things you should do for your safty. My ex sub and I had to part, but it was on good terms, our long didtance relastionship did not work. But, like every thing she was a referal to my new sub, and she was new like you as well. So she had some one that she could talk to. So do your research, take your time, remember they are looking 4 you. Once you place you ad out there they will flock to you. And if he or she starts with Get on your knees bitch. that a bigggggggg warning sign of a neebiee Hugs Sir Dean and sub tricia

 

[Little Bird]

So do your research, take your time, remember they are looking 4 you. Once you place you ad out there they will flock to you.

This will give you power over them, much power. Wait patiently and then strike back!

Okay, most Doms and Subs probably don't like it, but there are other, who do!

 

[FungiUg]

It's always hard to get started. From my own personal experience, I can recommend finding a parter you trust and who is experienced to "show you the ropes" (perhaps literally).

However, if you want the relationship thing as well... then you're going to have to be a lot pickier, and accept that you may not get to explore D/s until such time as you have found a suitable partner. And that... takes time.

No easy answer here. Some safe alternatives are reading, participating in forums such as this one, finding cyber fantasy partners and so on. But finding a true partner for a relationship takes more than just a common interest in BDSM, so don't expect an overnight delivery of the perfect Dom.

Best of luck!

 

[LordMonsterous]

You are off to a good start, by communicating, that is the key, you have to communicate what you expect in a BDSM relationship. If you feel the Dom isn't listening or hearing you, you need to take that as a key that it isn't something you should pursue.