cuiriouser and curiouser...

[painful_rapture]

I've seen a few posts here and there and other places around the web about Daddies and Doms. Some people talk about them like they are completely different and shouldn't be mixed up, and some people talk about them like there's a vast gray area.

I'm just wondering what other peoples' opinions and observations are.

I'm new to BDSM topics in general; please forgive me if I've offended anyone.
Thanks!

 

[Ahlam]

I've been curious about this too because it seems like everyone has their own notions about what it means to be a "Daddy." I've not seen any consistency.

 

[LWulf]

I don't think you should feel apologetic for posing a question and especially admitting a lack of knowledge.

My understanding is there is a difference between Tops, Daddies and Doms (likewise for Tops, Mommies and Dommes). However, every place you go has different ways of understanding those terms and what they mean. As they say, opinions are like... noses. Everyone has one and everyone thinks everybody else's just smells.

It's sort of like BDSM. A common place acronym (technically an initialism since it isn't said as a word, like NASA or DOS) but nobody can agree on what it stands for; some say it means Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism, while others think it's Bondage, Domination and ... two other words that never made sense to me and can't remember.

As I was saying and back on topic, >my understanding< (moronic caveat, eh?) is that Doms (and Dommes) are your stereotypical S&M crowd (they prefer to live their lifestyle 24/7). Tops are a lesser variant, while Daddies (and Mommies, natch) are your more loving, but firm, crowd.

Basically (caveat that most people will ignore), the fracture of BDSM are from people who thought "Well, I like to cause pain to somebody but don't go THAT far" and didn't want to get lumped into a, perceived, negative label. To put a positive spin on their predilections, different categories were developed over the last 20 or so years.

The same goes for subs, brats and bottoms, though that was not for a perceived negative label but to forestall misconception of willingness and limits.

Arguments usually ensue because Doms and Dommes hear that Daddies and Mommies are "more loving." They usually counter saying their lifestyle is proof of the "purest" love because of their willingness and devotion to their lifestyle.

There are little truths to all of this which is why nobody has come down with a plain simple answer that everybody can agree on.

Mostly I think everybody is an individual who likes to think of themselves as "unique" and therefor they never settle on any one label as clearly definitive of themselves.

Personally, (another useless caveat) I think (followed by a redundant caveat) we are all human beings with the same emotions (love, hate and the want to control out own lives). After that you can fracture us indefinitely into millions of categories and sub sub sub categories that make us unique for whatever reasons.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I've seen a few posts here and there and other places around the web about Daddies and Doms. Some people talk about them like they are completely different and shouldn't be mixed up, and some people talk about them like there's a vast gray area.

I'm just wondering what other peoples' opinions and observations are.

I'm new to BDSM topics in general; please forgive me if I've offended anyone.
Thanks!

From where I stand, Daddies look like a specific style of Dom. There are many other styles.

 

[Primalex]

I've been curious about this too because it seems like everyone has their own notions about what it means to be a "Daddy." I've not seen any consistency.

As if you would ever find consistency in a group of humans. With a bit of luck you might be able to get a group of zombies to agree that brains are yummy, but that's about it.

 

[DVS]

As if you would ever find consistency in a group of humans. With a bit of luck you might be able to get a group of zombies to agree that brains are yummy, but that's about it.

Who's to say that two zombies are going to think one brain tastes just yummy? I'm sure, somewhere, there's a zombie that prefers a dash of salt or maybe a dollop of catchup.

The same goes for everything else. Even identical twins have differences. After the initial understanding of what the respective labels mean, each dom or daddy should just decide for themselves what their particular likes they have. Maybe one likes a dash of salt, and another likes a dollop of catchup. That's not too kinky, is it?

 

[Stella_Omega]

Think about all of the ways a father might exhibit authority over a child.

Some of those ways can be very good and moral and growth oriented, some of them can be abusive and selfish and criminal.

Now consider that this father's child is not an actual child, but another adult who wants to be treated in one way or the other -- or a combination of the two...However that equation adds up for those partners.

Daddy might encourage his girl or boy to be proactive in the world, do their homework or fight for job promotions-- and also exercises whatever petty tyrrany he wants in the home.

damn, that sounds hot!

 

[soulfulfriend]

Such a great question. I started exploring BDSM a couple years ago with a lover and well I found it challenging to be dominant. I was so use to taking caring of things and being soft and affectionate. Then I learned to take the direction of the DOM making sure those under him received what they needed. This meant giving them direction and when done correctly giving them reward (which was not always sexual). Pleaser personalities seem to derive pleasure when what they do is acknowledged.

I still feel I have allot more to grow once I feel I can find someone just as special as my old partner who will pursue this daily and make it part of our lives.

 

[painful_rapture]

Wow, and thank you

Ahlam: I'm glad I'm not the only one who wonders about these things

LWulf: I love your explanation, it made a lot more sense to me than what I've seen floating around the web.

Primalex: You made me laugh I like your take on things.

Stella_Omega: It does sound hot Thank you for the explanation.

soufulfriend: I hope you find that special someone, too

Lol, every time I went to preview my post, somebody had added a comment. Thanks for all of the responses, I really appreciate everyone sharing their views.

 

[Ahlam]

Ever get ketchup on a paper cut? That could be kinkified.

The desire for brains is a universal among zombies, though. Is there no universal among Daddy-type Dominants, apart from the desire to be called "Daddy?" That seems rather arbitrary.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Daddies like to make their girls or boys hold it until he has time to go into the bathroom with them-- so he can watch them and make sure they pee pee right.

I could go a long way with this riff...

 

[navarre]

Daddies like to make their girls or boys hold it until he has time to go into the bathroom with them-- so he can watch them and make sure they pee pee right.

I could go a long way with this riff...

You and me both.

 

[Ahlam]

Daddies like to make their girls or boys hold it until he has time to go into the bathroom with them-- so he can watch them and make sure they pee pee right.

I could go a long way with this riff...

If a man did that to me, I'd experience an overwhelming desire to retaliate in as unpleasant a manner as I possibly could. I guess it isn't my cup o'tea!

 

[desertslave]

Sir and I are PYL/pyl, we have a significant r/l age difference, and yet he is NOT my "Daddy" in any way. We do zero ageplay because it doesn't turn either of us on. Go figure!

 

[JustaSCOUNDREL]

Actually slave we have a significant age difference whether we are PYL/pyl or not. Other than that age play does not do much for me since the age difference is not a game. (G)

M

 

[KatherineAlex]

I always have felt this widely circulated explaination resonates for my DD.

http://misterstgermain.tumblr.com/daddydomsexplained