Cuckolding question

[nice90sguy]

I wrote a "homewrecker" story written from the POV of a dominating woman who seduces a man's wife and steals her from him, and then sends him videos of her and the wife together -- the target audience for that story is guys who get turned on by idea of seeing their wife doing it another woman, (obviously).

Is she "cuckolding" him? Should I add that tag to the story?

 

[AchtungNight]

No, cuckoldry is fucking someone’s wife and NOT telling them. What you describe is something else. The guy can still approve or disapprove, it’s whether he knows that counts.

 

[Bamagan]

It fits the literal definition of a man with an adulterous spouse. Whether or not the specific scenario scratches the associated kinks is a bit less clear.

 

[alohadave]

No, cuckoldry is fucking someone’s wife and NOT telling them. What you describe is something else. The guy can still approve or disapprove, it’s whether he knows that counts.

That's the traditional definition, not the current usage in kink/porn/Lit.

Actively knowing of and/or watching the wife with a non-spouse, while also having sex withheld from them is a common element of the kink.

 

[mildlyaroused]

Actively knowing of and/or watching the wife ... is a common element of the kink.

Yeah, from my (online) experience, cuckolding is often accompanied by voyeurism these days - the cuckold watches. They don't have to be left in the dark. I don't know how common it is for the tag to be used to describe a wife being 'taken' by another woman, though. Generally it's a man.

When I was in high school and we were studying Othello, our English teacher kept referring to themes of cuckolding which, while accurate, did not put our silly young minds into learning mode.

 

[nice90sguy]

Thanks for replies. I didn't add the tag.

 

[AchtungNight]

If my wife were giving sex to other people and withholding it from me… I’d be having a serious discussion with her about the relationship. Just saying.

 

[SimonDoom]

If my wife were giving sex to other people and withholding it from me… I’d be having a serious discussion with her about the relationship. Just saying.

I think most people would. I would. But that's the thing about kinks. They're kinky. They seem strange to those who don't share them.

 

[nice90sguy]

It happened to me, and I hated it, it broke up my first marriage.

But in my story the dynamics and situation are completely differnt to "marital infidelity" -- it's basically my male fantasy about two hot chicks doing it, one of whom is my squeeze. Yannow, my usual profound and disturbingly life-like stuff

 

[Lifestyle66]

It depends on your preferred definition of the word "cuckold", whether you prefer the educated and thoughtful version or pander to the populist crowd.

To the monogamous-only crowd (the populist view who enjoy throwing insults at everyone and everything), any wife who has any sex with anyone or anything besides her husband makes him her cuckold.

If you think of the word's origin, of the cuckoo bird dropping its eggs into other bird's nests for them to hatch and raise, the cuckold would be a husband whose wife fucked around without his knowledge, and potentially gets pregnant with her lover's child.

So, with that cuckoo origin definition, since the wife's with another woman and can't get pregnant, he's not a cuckold. But where's the populist fun in that, when you can throw out an insult anyway?

 

[Comshaw]

That's the traditional definition, not the current usage in kink/porn/Lit.

Actively knowing of and/or watching the wife with a non-spouse, while also having sex withheld from them is a common element of the kink.

I've noticed the disparity with which "cuckold" is used. As you pointed out it seems to have metamorphosed from the traditional definition to the one you highlighted. I wondered if there was a specific word for the newly accepted definition attributed to cuckold. My curiosity gene kicked up and after checking I found this:

Wittol
Definition: a man who is aware of and submits to his wife's infidelity
Wittol shares part of its origin with cuckold, attaching what is now an archaic sense of wit (“to know”) onto part of cokewold (an older form of cuckold). Wittol has also been used in the general sense of “fool.”

On the same page I also found these, which are obscure but interesting:

Bedswerver
Definition: “One that is false to the bed; one that ranges or swerves from one bed to another.” (Samuel Johnson, A Dictionary of the English Language, 1755)

Cuckquean
Definition: a woman whose husband is unfaithful to her
There are times when the number of words for a certain thing does not quite reflect the character of humanity itself. There are dozens of words in English synonymous with cuckold (“a man who has an unfaithful partner”)—to be honest, we really don't need that many—yet, for a woman in the same position, there is but a single word.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/wordplay/7-obscure-words-for-cheating-and-infidelity



Comshaw

 

[AchtungNight]

Yeah, I don’t like being insulted in general, especially by hypocrites. Why can’t we all just admit and agree we like good consensual sex and get along?

I have the common male fantasy of watching two hot chicks going at it. If one or both of them are into me also, even better. If not, well, I hope we can at least be friends. The characters in my stories reflect this attitude, mostly. I usually foist cuckoldry, enforced chastity, and things like that which disturb me, on the bad guys. They’re usually the ones encouraging it, so they reap what they sow.

 

[alohadave]

Why can’t we all just admit and agree we like good consensual sex and get along?

Because people are complicated and many can't or won't be honest with themselves and their partners about what excites them sexually.

Trust, jealousy, fear of loss, past history, culture, etc all contribute to problems communicating what they want.

 

[AchtungNight]

Because people are complicated and many can't or won't be honest with themselves and their partners about what excites them sexually.

Trust, jealousy, fear of loss, past history, culture, etc all contribute to problems communicating what they want.

Yeah, I get that. I wish we could all be honest and recognize, then appreciate it in each other.

Of course, then you get the fact that a lot of people are honestly not nice people and don't want to be either.

I won't go on about that. I'm not in the mood for verbal sparring today.

 

[Demiurging]

If we're going to be reductive, no. Cuckolding requires a man to raise someone else's child in the way of the Cuckoo bird.

But otherwise, I believe it counts.

 

[nice90sguy]

If we're going to be reductive, no. Cuckolding requires a man to raise someone else's child in the way of the Cuckoo bird.

But otherwise, I believe it counts.

Thanks, I only just got the cuckoo reference. There was a great Brazilian film about a woman who gets three men to raise her kid because all three of them think its theirs.

 

[madelinemasoch]

The answer is yes.

 

[Plathfan]

Without the possibility of impregnation, I can't see a real case of cuckoolding here.

 

[madelinemasoch]

In the “kink” space, cuckoldry just means the wife fucks other people and her partner submits. It’s closer to the “wittol” definition but nobody actually uses that word. Breeding is not required.

 

[lc69hunter]

I am currently writing my first multi-chapter story, addressing the hotwife in the context of a consensual loving marriage where her husband is first in her life, and the benefits therein, (and I believe this). I refuse to use the word cuckold in that context, relegating it to what I consider the dark side, hotwifing cuckolding humiliation, shame and the related fetish elements. This will be a multi-couple story, following various couples, how they coped, how they grew, some of the differences going forward, and the long term effects, (almost all uniformly positive). I am excited where this is going, as it is still growing, as other couples discover.
In my mind, hotwifing does not automatically mean cuckolding. So that is my take, despite the normal definition. And no, I will not publish this in LW

 

[Yarglenurp]

I'd just use "cuckold" in your scenario because it's "close enough." Power imbalance, SO cheating on the husband, etc.

In my only series so far, the male lead starts as an actual, classic cuckold being cucked by the female lead, but then he switches into being a modern fetish cuckold for the rest of story. I kept the "cuckold" tag for the second chapter and will keep applying it so long as there is both an affair component and a humiliation component to it.

 

[Britva415]

cuckoldry is fucking someone’s wife and NOT telling them

Could have fooled the porn industry. To them, it's fucking a man's wife right in front of him.

 

[John_Vandermeer]

Oh there are so many ways to be made a cuck…

Without addressing the question concerning a saphic tryst (question that is pertinent to an uncoming story of mine too) the various ways to be made a cuck in my mind include: To be made an actual cuck—eg some guy put his tool in your wife. To have just about been made a cuck—eg your wife is throwing herself at some other man, and he may take the opportunity at any point, even if he hasnt yet. Or to be broadly perceived to have been made a cuck—eg your wife loudly waxes rhapsodic to any who will listen about what a stud some other guy is, and everybody thinks you are a cuck. I’ve seen all three scenarios. And seen guys who do not think they have been made a cuck if its only scenario 2 or 3. Fools.

 

[AwkwardMD]

I wrote a "homewrecker" story written from the POV of a dominating woman who seduces a man's wife and steals her from him, and then sends him videos of her and the wife together -- the target audience for that story is guys who get turned on by idea of seeing their wife doing it another woman, (obviously).

Is she "cuckolding" him? Should I add that tag to the story?

The correct tag would be NTR.

 

[nice90sguy]

The correct tag would be NTR.

Yes, netorare is closest. I'd mark your answer as the correct one if this forum were StackOverflow