Cuckolding - I just don't get it...

[Nerd159]

Please don't take this post to be judgmental or argumentative; I'm just trying to understand...

As someone who's been cheated on repeatedly (and still platonically married for the kids), the experience was excruciatingly painful. How is it that a man can take pleasure in his wife giving herself to another guy? Again, just looking to understand.

(And yes, I may be a hypocrite, since the thought of her with another woman is F-ing hot!)

 

[beingtrue2me]

Same reason (in my opinion) that there seems to be such an attraction on Lit for incest yet for some of us it is something that could never ever be arousing. We are all different and have different buttons that do different things. To me, being submissive is as much a turn on for me as him / her seeing me that way. I might possibly get more out of it than my lover does. So my advice is if it is something that does not move your needle, don't allow it in a relationship - no matter the subject. It has to be in you or do something for you or otherwise you are just going thru the motions and that pretty much goes for anything you do.

 

[Missingout]

A person in your situation that has had his mate cheat repeatedly wouldn't like it.
For me it's a huge turn on for various reasons.
1-My wife had never been with another guy before me.
2-I have a below average sized penis, so the thought of her being filled excites me.
3-We don't and can't have children, so if we did we'd probably not do it.
4-It has not only improved our sex life, but every aspect of our lives.
5-Watching her or knowing she's with another man is the most exciting thrill sexually for me.
6-I also find the humiliation aspect of it exciting.
7-I'm sure with me a lot to do with it is my size. If I had a 7"er I doubt I'd be into cuckolding.

I don't think your a hypocrite. Everyone has something different that stimulates them.
I'm sure if I thought about it more I'd give a better answer than I did.

 

[magicalmoments]

Please don't take this post to be judgmental or argumentative; I'm just trying to understand...

As someone who's been cheated on repeatedly (and still platonically married for the kids), the experience was excruciatingly painful. How is it that a man can take pleasure in his wife giving herself to another guy? Again, just looking to understand.

(And yes, I may be a hypocrite, since the thought of her with another woman is F-ing hot!)

For some guys being a cuckold is a turn on, it's as simple as that. That situation is not going to appeal to all and it's the same as all fetishes.

I can't understand why some guys get off on wearing women's clothing, or scat, or severe pain.

Thankfully we are all turned on by different things.

Viva la difference.

 

[DrHappy]

I don’t get it either. It doesn’t turn me on one bit.

However, a lot of turn-ons aren’t logical, so they don’t have to make sense for anyone. It seems that a lot of turn-ons may be simply related to any strong emotion, whether it’s positive or negative (humiliation, disgust, etc...). The sexual arousal may be just an inadvertent side-effect. I think that people sometimes get into trouble when they try to interpret meanings to turn-ons that they don’t understand.

 

[beingtrue2me]

I don’t get it either. It doesn’t turn me on one bit.

However, a lot of turn-ons aren’t logical, so they don’t have to make sense for anyone. It seems that a lot of turn-ons may be simply related to any strong emotion, whether it’s positive or negative (humiliation, disgust, etc...). The sexual arousal may be just an inadvertent side-effect. I think that people sometimes get into trouble when they try to interpret meanings to turn-ons that they don’t understand.

Couldn't agree more. In fact there have been times that I have gotten aroused and masturbated to thoughts or fantasies that usually would never do anything for me. How can we sometimes be aroused and yet repulsed at the same time? Dunno. Maybe it's just me.

 

[policywank]

Please don't take this post to be judgmental or argumentative; I'm just trying to understand...

As someone who's been cheated on repeatedly (and still platonically married for the kids), the experience was excruciatingly painful. How is it that a man can take pleasure in his wife giving herself to another guy? Again, just looking to understand.

(And yes, I may be a hypocrite, since the thought of her with another woman is F-ing hot!)

I suppose it also has something too do with how you define "cuckolding". There are lots of threads on here debating that point so I won't rehash, but it sounds like you fit the traditional definition of a husband betrayed and truly hurt. I have a hard time imagining anyone wanting or enjoying betrayal just like I don't imagine anyone wanting to get their ass kicked.

The humiliation that makes up part of a hot wife/cuckold lifestyle is kind of akin to the spanking in a BDSM relationship - an emotional spanking if you will. Painful perhaps but within physical and emotional bounds designed to titillate and exercise a degree of control enjoyed by both parties. For men, cuckolding may push them into a realm that frightens them (and most men) - the realm of understanding that women have sexual desire and many avenues to act upon it. It can be empowering to disavow a sexist society and revel in your own weakness and vulnerability, much like the recipient of a spanking.

Being "forced" into this submissive position may be part of the thrill for some, but I think primarily as role play. Actually crushing someone emotionally and grinding them down is akin to assault. Being a selfish mean bitch is not titillating or sexual. Your experience may fit the dictionary definition of cuckolding but I don't think it has much to do with the fetish lifestyle.

 

[gunthernehmen]

I have nothing constructive to add. I just found the title of this thread ironic.

 

[twister947]

I don't "get" it in the sense of understanding it, but it's something I need. <shrug>

 

[Somehowyou]

For men, cuckolding may push them into a realm that frightens them (and most men) - the realm of understanding that women have sexual desire and many avenues to act upon it. It can be empowering to disavow a sexist society and revel in your own weakness and vulnerability, much like the recipient of a spanking.
.

I don't get it either but years ago, when my S.O. was having an affair on me and left me, I was in a constant state of arousal. I was masturbating to her 5-10 times a day. I was overcome with emotions. I felt hurt, I was enraged, but part of me was also aroused and I could not understand why. I think it may related to some primal instinctive response. When your wife is fucking on you you just want to fill her full of your seed to crowd out her lovers? I still don't get it and I never will and I don't want to go back there but I must admit this: At least part of it was arousing.

 

[Nerd159]

First of all, thank you all for your willingness to share your feelings about an obviously personal topic.

Thanks to all of you, I'm closer to understanding it as a form of roleplay. I still can't wrap my mind around actually acting on it, but I am certainly not one to judge.

Besides, the suggestion (by multiple posters) that fetishes and arousal are not rational choices makes total sense. After all, as a father and former teacher, I never got the whole "daddy" thing. In fact, it sort of wierded me out...At least before I heard certain audio stories from WarmMilk and angeloftemptation...

 

[Nerd159]

I don't get it either but years ago, when my S.O. was having an affair on me and left me, I was in a constant state of arousal. I was masturbating to her 5-10 times a day. I was overcome with emotions. I felt hurt, I was enraged, but part of me was also aroused and I could not understand why. I think it may related to some primal instinctive response. When your wife is fucking on you you just want to fill her full of your seed to crowd out her lovers? I still don't get it and I never will and I don't want to go back there but I must admit this: At least part of it was arousing.

I was aroused the very first time she told me, about fifteen years ago. We tried to work it out repeatedly, but she kept running around. Now I've found out that she's been with the same guy for the past four years. Somehow, it's not fun any more. I'm just done. However I have kids to raise, so what are you gonna do?

By the way, I don't expect sympathy for staying, because I'm making a conscious choice for a specific goal. My kids are worth it, and I've learned a hell of a lot to apply to my future relationships.

 

[TJReilly]

I was aroused the very first time she told me, about fifteen years ago. We tried to work it out repeatedly, but she kept running around. Now I've found out that she's been with the same guy for the past four years. Somehow, it's not fun any more. I'm just done. However I have kids to raise, so what are you gonna do?

By the way, I don't expect sympathy for staying, because I'm making a conscious choice for a specific goal. My kids are worth it, and I've learned a hell of a lot to apply to my future relationships.

How healthy is it for your kids to grow up in a broken marriage? What kind of example does that set for kids growing up?

 

[JayDee1353]

Couldn't agree more. In fact there have been times that I have gotten aroused and masturbated to thoughts or fantasies that usually would never do anything for me. How can we sometimes be aroused and yet repulsed at the same time? Dunno. Maybe it's just me.

I've never been turned on by cuckold. But to each their own. It's not just you. I've had that happen to me a few times where I went a month having something turn me on that never did and then I just lost interest in it. There are certain things that will forever light my fire but every once in a while something new that excites me gets thrown into the mix. You're not alone.

 

[Leigh81]

I'm wondering what you guys would think if your gf/wife wanted to share you with a sexy lady or ladies.

L

 

[JayDee1353]

I'm wondering what you guys would think if your gf/wife wanted to share you with a sexy lady or ladies.

L

Absolutely love it

 

[twister947]

I'm wondering what you guys would think if your gf/wife wanted to share you with a sexy lady or ladies.

L

I would suspect a trap.

 

[CNYCarol]

I suspect it is mostly about the humiliation aspect. Otherwise why not have her find a guy for the two of you to share.

 

[seth6138]

I'm wondering what you guys would think if your gf/wife wanted to share you with a sexy lady or ladies.

L

I'd put up a huge fight for 10 or 11 seconds.

 

[Leigh81]

I'd put up a huge fight for 10 or 11 seconds.

Knowing you, it wouldn't take that long.

L

 

[KinkyGAGuy]

I do not get the attraction to cuckholding. However i know and have played with several that are and practice it. Have been with cuckhold couples that the husband is aware but not present, and have been with couples where he is right there to help and participate.

Have been with several couples where it was expected of him to help her pleasure me.

I myself could never allow this in a relationship. Now i have been in a relationship with a bi woman who brought other women in for us both to enjoy, had offered to bring in another guy, but she refused. I was trying to be fair.

As for advice to the original poster, you are between a rock and a hard place. The kids are keeping you in a relationship with a woman that you distrust, and if not already, you will grow to despise. The kids will eventually feel something is wrong. Put some money away for an eventual split with her, and cut the emotional ties. It will not last!

 

[subwhore60]

Hub's fantasy

Now keep in mind - hub doesn't know I come to Lit & have online sex with men (hopefully) but he says & fantasizes about other men fucking me but I DON'T think he could ever go throu with it in reality-just not in his nature.

But how I understand cuckolding is hubby gets humiliated & I DO NOT go for that & he doesn't want that part of it.

But if I want him to "fire-off" ... OMG! all I have to do is start talking about male friends of ours fucking me-like a damn gun! LOL

 

[nowisthetime]

I don't get it either. Are there some women that want their significant other to fuck another woman in her face? I never understood this concept with men.

 

[stormalong]

I suppose I am a cuck but do not see myself as the traditional cuck hold. My wife of 46 years is having an affair and I am happy that at her age, the old gal still has it in her. Of course there is a little pay back for the times I wandered during our marriage. I find it exciting to just sit on the sidelines and see what I can learn. I always thought my wife was pretty conservative sexually but I am starting to realize that I simple never opened her up like her friend has. A little late for me but it might be something for younger guys to think about.

 

[stad90]

I hear you...

I don't get it either. I'm married, have lots of kinky fetishes ("mommy" role playing, peeing, panty wetting, etc.) but I cannot for the life of me imagine wanting to see my wife with another man and me in a cuckold role...