Critics Awards - The rest of us

[MathGirl]

I've only been coming here for a few months, and I have but a few little stories posted. I can see a pattern developing, however.

The future is clear. I am in for a long run of failure to be nominated for or win any awards or contests at Literotica.com.

When I'm at my very best, my writing is mediocre. It isn't at all literary, and I'm not very good at being creatlively smutty.

On the other hand, I'm not bad enough for people to make fun of my stuff. There are no creative misspellings or really dumb superfluous apostrophes.

I feel that there should be at least a modicum of glory for the vast majority of us who are not outstandingly good or bad.

Shouldn't there be some sort of recognition for mediocrity? An annual ho-hum award for so-so writing?

Poor me.
Oh, woe is me.
Alas, alack.
Etc.

 

[wildsweetone]

It isn't at all literary, and I'm not very good at being creatlively smutty.

and you think you're not good?

It's a fact of life that there are only a few who will make it to the top (wherever that may be) in their writing careers, and that the vast majority of those who write will only ever be 'average'.

I think one of the keys to getting there is to stay openminded, and to work hard. No matter what is happening in your day to day life, if you want to improve in your writing, then the only way is to work hard at it.

And, I believe that if you love writing enough, it will never ever become a chore.

As for an award for the averagely mundane... hmm how about a bunch of dandelions wrapped in gawdy cellophane and tied with a large disgustingly pink bow?

 

[MathGirl]

As for an award for the averagely mundane... hmm how about a bunch of dandelions wrapped in gawdy cellophane and tied with a large disgustingly pink bow?

I like it, I like it. Could the cellophane be polka dotty? Maybe a nice purple vase?

 

[wildsweetone]

yep, either purple or mustard coloured... don't want it looking too good eh, they'll all want a bunch

 

[TheEarl]

I'm with you MathGirl. Not bad enough to gain pity or contempt, but not good enough to be singled out. I think maybe an orange vase with a red ribbon tied round it to dissuade the really good from competing.

The Earl

 

[English Lady]

I hate to sound awfully twee but surely if you do your best and you like what you've written then that is what really counts. I think i am pretty average too and quite happily so. As long as i enjoy the writing i will write! Although the bunch of dandilions does sound tempting....

 

[Guest]

Freida the Cat

MG-

I think you are just underappreciated since you write on a totally different plane... very Woody Allen.

As someone who has had to organize award dinners, I assure you that we can come up with an award for everyone....

Let's see...

MG wins the award for the only literarily appropriate use of a mondo cock for her story Freida the Cat.

TheEarl wins the award for only nonconsent story that didn't make me hit the back button for his story One Cup of Coffee. (Although I don't drink coffee anymore, just Ceylon tea)

Anyone else want an award? I am really good at this.

b

 

[TheEarl]

Thanks Bridget. I never really liked that story though; thought my amateurism showed through heavily.

Might actually rewrite it now.

The Earl

 

[Pookie]

I like it, I like it. Could the cellophane be polka dotty? Maybe a nice purple vase?

I like the idea. But I want mine to have a "reduced for clearance" sticker on the vase somewhere. If not one of those, then a "buy one - get one free" sticker will do.

Pookie

 

[karmadog]

Grammys all around for 'Best New Artist in the Non-Spoken Word category'!

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Freida the Cat

MG-
MG wins the award for the only literarily appropriate use of a mondo cock for her story Freida the Cat.
b

Dear BKeeney,
Gosh, I'm overwhelmed. I became a Lit.Guru and won an award for mediocrity both in the space a just a few days.

When you arrange the award bouquet, use my method of flower arrangement. Vase in right hand, flowers in left hand, bring hands together forcefully. Voila!

Thank you all to hell for the recognition. It makes me feel ......... well, you know.

Hug, Diane

Ps. I feel that humor is the only way to properly present a huge penis, story wise.

 

[pop_54]

Hi

I agree Math Girl humour is the only way to present a huge penis in my case as well.

When I proudly presented my manhood to my wife to be years ago, she said, "My God that thing always makes me go wet between my legs"
I said "What with arousal darling".
She said "No I piss myself laughing".


Sign me up for the average author contest as well luv, only way I'll get off the bottom rung, although I think you're doing yourself down a bit, you aint that bad by what I've read of your stuff.

pops...........

 

[MathGirl]

Esthetics

I like the idea. But I want mine to have a "reduced for clearance" sticker on the vase somewhere. If not one of those, then a "buy one - get one free" sticker will do.

Pookie

Ohhhh, nice touch. Wish I'd thought of that. A "Salvation Army" price sticker would be good.

 

[Guest]

and the bridget's rose goes to...

ahem....

pops_54 wins the bridget's rose for most effective use of dialogue to move the plot of a story for Millie's Valentine Present .

hmmmmmmm.... I suppose I should start to put the links up...

for you pops!

b

 

[MathGirl]

Hooray

Hooray for Pops! Well done.

Sub Joe: TAILS

 

[Guest]

blushing

ACK!

Just realized that someone could get the wrong idea about me... that I spread my petals for everyone...

Ah, well... it's for a good cause!

b

 

[Just_John1]

Congrats Earl, Pops and MG

Never really thought your writing was mediocre to be honest with you but if that's what you want I'd vote for ya. Madam BK, you are the best presenter of awards...

Pops, I've gotta tell you... that made me laugh, and she still married you right? that reminds me of the jpke about the ant the elephant and the monkey... another time perhaps.

 

[gauchecritic]

I won't make any self nomination here ('cos I think my stuff is bloody marvelous), but I will say, like Diane feels I think, that literary wise I too am pretty average. But like I say "It dunt marrer really"

(A rose will be fine Bridget)

Gauche

 

[pop_54]

Re: and the bridget's rose goes to...

ahem....

pops_54 wins the bridget's rose for most effective use of dialogue to move the plot of a story for Millie's Valentine Present .

hmmmmmmm.... I suppose I should start to put the links up...

for you pops!

b

Wow, blushing terribly as I always do when I see petals spread that way, wink.

Thank you so kindy, your rose is accepted with deep gratitude.

Just a little experimental tale really though I challenged myself to write something with no narrative. It will be pulled and altered later there is a lot I'm not happy with about it as posted.

Luv pops...................

 

[MathGirl]

Coincidence

But like I say "It dunt marrer really"
(Gauche

Dear Gauchie,
You say that, too? What a coincidence.
Diane

Many thanks and a kudo or two to BKeeney for making this thread much more than it had any right to be.

 

[gauchecritic]

Diane,

That's what "It's ALL bollocks" is about.

Gauche

 

[Chicklet]

Re: Freida the Cat

Anyone else want an award? I am really good at this.

:raises hand slowly:

"i'd like an award, please..."

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Re: Freida the Cat

:"i'd like an award, please..."

BKeeney:

Give the little lady an award, please. She passed on the Goo Roo pin to me the other day.

 

[Guest]

drum roll please....

and bridget's rose for only gay story that I have ever read, and was amazingly not disgusted by goes to chicklet for Clarafication

for you chicklet

b

 

[Guest]

reluctant rose bearer

Whoever said my awards go to mediocre writers?

Roses are in recognition of distinct Literotica achievement...

And so, the award for ruining my being ever able to teach my children rummy because of his erotic and bold interpretation of a deck of cards goes to gauchecritic for Deck of Cards

for you, because you are...gauche...

b