Crisis - That Magical Reset Button

[desertslave]

Master found it today!

It's been a rough long while. Things and people got in the way of our relationship and we both started foundering in our own ways. Then, very suddenly, my Mom got sick and I had to fly home to help create a plan of care for her. She has a terminal cancer and our main mission is to make her end time as comfortable as possible. It hurts my heart and while I'm trying my best to be strong for the rest of my family (somehow I became the designated spokesperson and decider of things). Thing is, while I seem to be doing well on the outside, I'm completely unraveling on the inside.

So Master beat me today. I hurt in all sorts of delicious ways, I'm wrung out, and he's found my calm space for me again. He very clearly enjoyed it too.

It's not the first time, gods willing it won't be the last, but it always boggles me a little bit how he can work me over exactly how I need it, without me saying anything. I'm so grateful that I'm his. The power of endorphins amazes me.

 

[ecstaticsub]

"The magic rest button" I like it! Very happy for you.

I have found the same to be true for me. It has been a hellacious year for me and Daddy has come through just the way I need him.

 

[Oubliette123]

Master found it today!

It's been a rough long while. Things and people got in the way of our relationship and we both started foundering in our own ways. Then, very suddenly, my Mom got sick and I had to fly home to help create a plan of care for her. She has a terminal cancer and our main mission is to make her end time as comfortable as possible. It hurts my heart and while I'm trying my best to be strong for the rest of my family (somehow I became the designated spokesperson and decider of things). Thing is, while I seem to be doing well on the outside, I'm completely unraveling on the inside.

So Master beat me today. I hurt in all sorts of delicious ways, I'm wrung out, and he's found my calm space for me again. He very clearly enjoyed it too.

It's not the first time, gods willing it won't be the last, but it always boggles me a little bit how he can work me over exactly how I need it, without me saying anything. I'm so grateful that I'm his. The power of endorphins amazes me.

DesertSlave,

I am so sorry for what you are going through-I lost my own mum to breast cancer a few years ago, its a very rough ride for all involved. As a main carer you are so in control all the time, even when removed from the situation it never leaves your mind. You are constantly having to put yourself in her shoes, trying to work out what is best for her, make her comfortable, love and care for her but at the same time suppressing your own grief. You have the added pressure of other's expectations of how you handle things, and even though right now the main focus is your mum, you still are that little girl crying inside wishing for someone to just say 'how are YOU doing'. Its no wonder you are unravelling inside.

The reset button is an amazing thing to experience, and I identify with it totally. Its therapy in itself and for me a very wholesome part of the BDSM lifestyle. I am so happy to read this has worked for you, its like a short sharp shock that puts you back on track. Huge love to you DS, you have a lot on your shoulders, even though I don't know you, I want you to know you are doing great xx

 

[desertslave]

DesertSlave,

I am so sorry for what you are going through-I lost my own mum to breast cancer a few years ago, its a very rough ride for all involved. As a main carer you are so in control all the time, even when removed from the situation it never leaves your mind. You are constantly having to put yourself in her shoes, trying to work out what is best for her, make her comfortable, love and care for her but at the same time suppressing your own grief. You have the added pressure of other's expectations of how you handle things, and even though right now the main focus is your mum, you still are that little girl crying inside wishing for someone to just say 'how are YOU doing'. Its no wonder you are unravelling inside.

The reset button is an amazing thing to experience, and I identify with it totally. Its therapy in itself and for me a very wholesome part of the BDSM lifestyle. I am so happy to read this has worked for you, its like a short sharp shock that puts you back on track. Huge love to you DS, you have a lot on your shoulders, even though I don't know you, I want you to know you are doing great xx

I'm sorry for your loss, Oubliette. You have it exactly, the thoughts, the concern and worry are incredibly hard to turn off, even if I'm trying to. I lost my Dad 19 years ago, and I was attempting to 'live vanilla' at the time. I was a Daddy's girl and went to pieces over his passing. My ex wasn't very supportive and I was lost for longer than I'd care to admit.

I bless Master's support every day. He's been so encouraging and thoughtful. It's been hard on both of us, being apart, but we've made do in other, lesser ways. It's not the same as being in the same bed, wrapped in his arms, though. Especially when he scrapes his nails across all those freshly tender spots.

I hope the rest of my family gets it together soon, so I'm away less often. I need my safe place with Master to sustain me. I suppose the silver lining is that the away times have made the together times that much sweeter. It's almost like when we were first seeing each other, without all of the initial awkwardness. LOL

 

[Kim_Burly]

I'm sorry to hear about your mother. Please take consolation in the fact that you are close, not everyone gets that in their life. Remember the good times while she is still with you.

You are fortunate to have a wonderful Master. I'm sure you are a much stronger person than I am. I'm a lose nut and without Sir, I would be lost, so I understand how he can help you feel loved and grounded. I hope that came out right.

(((HUGS)))