Creme egg sex

[Surrey Gal]

My partner has declined to try this, but does it sound possible?

Insert a cadbury's creme egg an hour or so before vaginal sex to allow melting. Then get really messy! I imagine the fondant could create quite a suction effect for the guy.

Has anyone tried this? If so, will you please tell me about it? This is for a story I'm trying to finish, so I'm not a total perv. Just fairly pervy.

 

[Bandit58]

It's possible but I wouldn't recommend it. All that sugar would be an ideal breeding ground for little organisms that would just love to make her itchy and sore.

I know, I have no imagination!

 

[Surrey Gal]

Please!

I have some standards hygiene. And a very useful shower attachment.

 

[mikeofokc]

Been there done that

My buddies old lady did that last year. During the foreplay portion she was using the vibrator and suddenly there was jolt and the house lights went out. It knocked him out of bed. When he got back up he found her suffering from electrical shock and rushed her to the hospital. It turns out she left the egg in the aluminum foil. I suppose the vibrator and foil and mositure was a bad combination.

Thats not the worse part though. It seems the doctors wrote up the delivery of the chocolate egg and now the mystery of where cadbury's eggs come from has been solved. Cadbury is of course outraged and filed a custody petition so now the little egg is living in a foster home while the birth parents and the biological parents battle it out in court. Baby creme as he his called in the local press was put in a foster home with a same sex white couple. Of course the religious right thru a fit along with the NAACP. So now them and the Gay rights movement have joined into the suit.

Of course you knew that someone would come up with a money making scheme on this one. Just outside the court room next to the CNN mobile news room is a tent with a guy selling raffel tickets for a lady giving birth to those hollow plastic eggs. No telling how many of those things she hid in her womb but the line to win a new SUV has been around the block. Apparently some guy already one the egg with the keys in it but the egg with the SUV inside has still yet to pop out. I havent met the surrogate SUV mom yet but she sounds like a cross the boarder type woman. Thats not international borders thats two 12ft boards criss crossed tied to your ass to make sure you dont fall in.

My buddies wife is embarrassed and an emotional wreck and has been seen hanging out late at night in sleezy bars where all the broken easter bunnies hang out. White or dark chocolate they all speak the same slang. What a bunch of hard boiled rotten eggs those guys are too. My buddy hasnt had real sex in months now, although every night I do notice my lights dimming several times just as I hear a scream and a kerplunk from his house. Damn it, all my old lady has is a battery powered vibrator and some hershy kisses.

 

[SweetErika]

I have some standards hygiene. And a very useful shower attachment.

It doesn't matter if you have the best hygiene or shower attachment in the world...it takes very little time for yeast to eat up the sugar and multiply. Plus, I don't think you'd get anything but a mess from inserting it ahead of time like that. The eggs melt so quickly that everything would mix with the lubrication and come out before any fun could be had.

If I was reading a story with this particular act, I'd be distracted by the above factors. I love Cadbury eggs more than anyone I know, but I don't think I could get past the reality. Instead, maybe you could incorporate them into male oral (I'd imagine the creme would help create more of a suction in the mouth) and/or foreplay with any body part except for the vagina.

 

[Surrey Gal]

Fair enough!

I'll go with something else.
TY

 

[EJFan]

I'll go with something else.

peeps maybe?

j/k.

 

[Different Guy]

Glad I checked back on the replies to this... I quite fancied the idea...

 

[Cathleen]

My buddies old lady did that last year. During the foreplay portion she was using the vibrator and suddenly there was jolt and the house lights went out. It knocked him out of bed. When he got back up he found her suffering from electrical shock and rushed her to the hospital. It turns out she left the egg in the aluminum foil. I suppose the vibrator and foil and mositure was a bad combination.

Thats not the worse part though. It seems the doctors wrote up the delivery of the chocolate egg and now the mystery of where cadbury's eggs come from has been solved. Cadbury is of course outraged and filed a custody petition so now the little egg is living in a foster home while the birth parents and the biological parents battle it out in court. Baby creme as he his called in the local press was put in a foster home with a same sex white couple. Of course the religious right thru a fit along with the NAACP. So now them and the Gay rights movement have joined into the suit.

Of course you knew that someone would come up with a money making scheme on this one. Just outside the court room next to the CNN mobile news room is a tent with a guy selling raffel tickets for a lady giving birth to those hollow plastic eggs. No telling how many of those things she hid in her womb but the line to win a new SUV has been around the block. Apparently some guy already one the egg with the keys in it but the egg with the SUV inside has still yet to pop out. I havent met the surrogate SUV mom yet but she sounds like a cross the boarder type woman. Thats not international borders thats two 12ft boards criss crossed tied to your ass to make sure you dont fall in.

My buddies wife is embarrassed and an emotional wreck and has been seen hanging out late at night in sleezy bars where all the broken easter bunnies hang out. White or dark chocolate they all speak the same slang. What a bunch of hard boiled rotten eggs those guys are too. My buddy hasnt had real sex in months now, although every night I do notice my lights dimming several times just as I hear a scream and a kerplunk from his house. Damn it, all my old lady has is a battery powered vibrator and some hershy kisses.

Oh damn, this post deserves an award and inclusion into the Lit Hall Of Fame!

Absolutely fantastic!

EJ - the peeps post is the best follow-up!

Damn I can't stop laughing - holy moly!

 

[Cathleen]

Umm - if your woman enjoys yeast infections then this is right up her ally.

 

[seohdwm46]

Sugar is a yeast food. It thrives on the stuff. You really want to put here through the misery of a yeat infection. Rub a Reese Cup on her nipples if you must, but stay away from her twat!

 

[RedIntense]

No no no no no.

You do NOT want to do this in real life. Sugar invites infection. No good.

 

[handyypete]

My partner has declined to try this, but does it sound possible?

Insert a cadbury's creme egg an hour or so before vaginal sex to allow melting. Then get really messy! I imagine the fondant could create quite a suction effect for the guy.

Has anyone tried this? If so, will you please tell me about it? This is for a story I'm trying to finish, so I'm not a total perv. Just fairly pervy.

Tried it with gf a while back, licking was really really great, fucking felt funny. But she got bad infection afterwards, her doctor said it was all the sugar - great for bacteria!

 

[evildwarf]

the body has many areas where the growth of bacteria can be fertile... the vagina is one of them... even a pealed banana's sucrose content can cause troubles... sugar warmth and moisture are all yeast needs... not to mention other infections they trigger over time... and gentlemen... please remember, you too can get a yeast infection, and spread it to your lover... cleanliness is next to horniness... without one, you can't have the other...

 

[Jesteress]

Ouch...ouch..ouch...

I keep squirming just thinking about it....

lol@peeps..we are a crazy bunch

 

[meangene357]

Glad I read this thread before Easter

Wow I'm so glad I learned all of this before we decided what to do with all our Easter Candy!