How to create an effective transition between end of marriage ceremony and start of honeymoon without losing reader interest?

[LongDraw]

So I'm trying to finish up writing one of the chapters in my VY novel where the main character is marrying who he and everyone else has assumed is a step-daughter, but is actually his bio-daughter. I've written I think at least a decent wedding scene, but I'm hitting a roadblock on the transition here to the honeymoon scene. Everything I brainstorm isn't feeling right. I'm going to include a few paragraphs here to help communicate the necessary elements for the scene.

Everyone burst into applause and cheers as Braedon and Letobain made their way back to the pool steps. Standing at the top of the steps, they turned to the guests and once more gave each other a beautiful kiss before proceeding back to their rooms to get ready for the reception.

{Honeymoon scene in Paramorph Room}

Braedon impregnates Letobain and in doing so, he ends up creating the first of the new VY modified Homosuperior race. Inbreeding is identified after the birth of Letobain’s child 10 months later through genetic sequencing, and it is discovered VY has corrected the harmful mutations. About this same time, Beverly gets sick one morning, leading to a visit with Dr. Beccy. Not giving it a second thought, she ran her standard battery of tests she orders for any wife coming in for an unscheduled visit, one of which is a pregnancy test, which comes back positive. Savannah is going to have a new sibling.

Around this same time the new households around the world find out about the inbred children gaining either enhanced human abilities or random extra-human abilities. This starts a race to create the most powerful super-human household which leads to the VY world war. It will be recorded as the birth of Homo-Superior and as the start of the dawn of Homo-Sapien. Initial attempts to create powered humans results via lab fertilized and lab grown babies results in what is considered failures, ordinary non-powered humans with no birth defects. Scientists engaged in this work come to the conclusion that there must be another component beyond just having VY present in the male and female reproductive cells. This leads to some governments mandating inbreeding to create these powered humans which causes significant backlash.

What ends up being the most successful way to achieve the desired result is to change the education program of the children to indoctrinate them to accept that incest is completely normal and more beneficial to humanity than seeking out non-related mating partners. As more of them become indoctrinated, older generations begin to give in and cooperate, exponentially ramping up the breeding of powered humans.

 

[Paul_Chance]

Are you ending the chapter at the marriage? If it's a chapter end, then just do a jump-cut straight to the honeymoon love scene.

If you've got both contained in the same chapter, then give them a paragraph getting to the scene of the honeymoon and maybe another paragraph with an arrival at the final destination.

e.g.

The taste of the kiss lingered on their lips as they snuggled together in the back of the car to the airport. The long lines at the airport seemed short as they gazed lovingly at each other, oblivious to the pandemonium around them. Once on the plane the toll of the days events caught up with them and both were quickly asleep shortly after takeoff. Landing woke them and then once again the flurry of activity getting out of the airport and picking up their luggage, then the quick car ride to the hotel, followed by the agonizing slowness of the hotel registration desk as they checked in, anticipation twisting inside of them.

<love scene>

 

[LongDraw]

Are you ending the chapter at the marriage? If it's a chapter end, then just do a jump-cut straight to the honeymoon love scene.

If you've got both contained in the same chapter, then give them a paragraph getting to the scene of the honeymoon and maybe another paragraph with an arrival at the final destination.

e.g.

The taste of the kiss lingered on their lips as they snuggled together in the back of the car to the airport. The long lines at the airport seemed short as they gazed lovingly at each other, oblivious to the pandemonium around them. Once on the plane the toll of the days events caught up with them and both were quickly asleep shortly after takeoff. Landing woke them and then once again the flurry of activity getting out of the airport and picking up their luggage, then the quick car ride to the hotel, followed by the agonizing slowness of the hotel registration desk as they checked in, anticipation twisting inside of them.

<love scene>

Problem is, everything going forward takes place on the house property since main character is prohibited from leaving.

Wedding was in pool and honeymoon takes place in paramorph room (my machination of a holodeck for this story).

 

[Paul_Chance]

In that case, depending on the culture, I'd either have a brief post wedding scene, and then simply a paragraph of walking to the room. You can use the transition paragraphs to build tension for the scene and maybe foreshadow any major plot points later down the line. (e.g. hint at the coming reveal).

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Or you can just do a big jump, something like:


"You may kiss the bride."

+

The bedroom was, I had always thought, the nicest room in the house. The loving hand in mine as we entered made it more so.


That's as short as can be, yet it takes you seamlessly from A to B.

Good luck with your tale.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

Yep, what Penny said. Why do you have to describe how they go there. Cut the wedding scene and start with the bedroom scene. That's how they would do it in a movie or TV show. It all about scenes, no long drawn out description of how they looked or felt as they walked to the bedroom after the reception.

 

[LongDraw]

Okay, so this is what I wrote in already:

They also assisted with the move of the enormous wedding cake which had been created for the event, and coordinating final considerations for the new groom and wife to make their way to the Paramorph Room, where the two would celebrate their honeymoon.

Meanwhile, a few of the more technically minded wives with art backgrounds added finishing touches to the Paramorph Honeymoon program, touching up minor glitches in replication of organic motion and fine-tuning wave formation in the bodies of water to even the most intricate details such as variation in filament depth in reproduction of fabrics.

{Honeymoon scene in Paramorph Room}

So you all recommend no sequence where they travel from their separate rooms to meet at the Paramorph Room? Just state that they meet up and walk in to begin their honeymoon?