Creating a Poly family- Chasing Chad!

[crazylove12345]

Thanks to Nimoway80, I was able to locate this site and can share and track our search for the bisexual male to complete our Poly Triad.
Chad found our Poly search ad on Craigslist on December 3, 2012. We had been searching every possible webiste suggested by other poly folk and swingers with no luck. And then there was Chad!
The very first guy who did not immediately present himself as a mass attached to a penis. He was normal, and polite, and interested.. What's wrong with him you may ask,,,, he lives 946 miles away. Can this be overcome?
So, 4 days after knowing Chad exists, we text and IM all day long. And, amazingly, he is equally interested in both of us with no preference for male or female. He is an amazing flirter and has an incredible ability to make both my man and me feel comfortable with him and hopeful for our poly family future.
Would love to hear from other Poly or Poly friendly people on the site. There are so many questions we have about the logistics of such a relationship. And, we are quite nervous about our first date.

 

[nimoway80]

Thanks to Nimoway80, I was able to locate this site and can share and track our search for the bisexual male to complete our Poly Triad.
Chad found our Poly search ad on Craigslist on December 3, 2012. We had been searching every possible webiste suggested by other poly folk and swingers with no luck. And then there was Chad!
The very first guy who did not immediately present himself as a mass attached to a penis. He was normal, and polite, and interested.. What's wrong with him you may ask,,,, he lives 946 miles away. Can this be overcome?
So, 4 days after knowing Chad exists, we text and IM all day long. And, amazingly, he is equally interested in both of us with no preference for male or female. He is an amazing flirter and has an incredible ability to make both my man and me feel comfortable with him and hopeful for our poly family future.
Would love to hear from other Poly or Poly friendly people on the site. There are so many questions we have about the logistics of such a relationship. And, we are quite nervous about our first date.

I'm glad to see you posting, darlin! I hope you get the support you seek. You know me, I can only do the Master/slave thing.

 

[crazylove12345]

Challenges of Poly life previously unconsidered

Today we decided to get Chad a little cutsy gift for Christmas... One of those write your name on it ornaments. The loving romance ones only come in couples... It was a challenge, but not as difficult as the greeting cards at Hallmark LOL
I was in there for an hour. There are no Christmas cards that say "we are so happy to have found our potential poly third this Christmas" or "We are so happy to have you in our lives this Christmas." I had to get one that says to both of you (Chad and his dog) just to find anything close. Valentines Day is gonna be a bitch....

On a happier note. While I was at work, both of my boys decided it should be masturbation day and, in super hot fashion, they were both having the same thought!!!!!

 

[crazylove12345]

Struggling a bit

So, here's the struggle. He's a crossdresser. Not that I have an issue with that by itself, but is it something that I would be able to live with???? I just don't know. He's the one for sure...... how to accept the crossdressing????
He's hot, sexy, sweet, and has the ability to make us want him from afar... but there is this but in the back of my mind. I just don't know what to do. Mostly I pretend like it's not there, but when I am reminded it scares me a bit. I need to know some more about that issue.
Any help?

 

[Bramblethorn]

So, here's the struggle. He's a crossdresser. Not that I have an issue with that by itself, but is it something that I would be able to live with???? I just don't know. He's the one for sure...... how to accept the crossdressing????
He's hot, sexy, sweet, and has the ability to make us want him from afar... but there is this but in the back of my mind. I just don't know what to do. Mostly I pretend like it's not there, but when I am reminded it scares me a bit. I need to know some more about that issue.
Any help?

I have one piece of advice...

SLOW DOWN. You've never met this guy in person, you've known him all of four days. Take your time, get to know him, don't start picking out your china patterns yet.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I have one piece of advice...

SLOW DOWN. You've never met this guy in person, you've known him all of four days. Take your time, get to know him, don't start picking out your china patterns yet.

This.

He might be a bit surprised by all this attention. He might think you're some kind of creepy stalker who has just arranged his life in your head.

he might rather be a crossdresser unattached.

 

[crazylove12345]

Thank You

Thank you both for the posts. It's always good to be brought back to reality!!!! Just to clarify, it is him who showers us with all the attention leading us to send him the gift. However, after the posts, we are taking some time off from talking to him and hope to gain some perspective. Please keep the reality checks coming as I frequently need them and they are greatly appriciated.

One of the problems of Poly life is the difficulty finding someone looking for the same thing, let alone a single bi male who is also Poly. Then you have to start with physical attraction which is not easy either as everyone has differning tastes. Then, the chemistry must be there. It's a lot of work. I am wondering why we have choosen this lifestyle?????????????????????

 

[Stella_Omega]

My experience with an open marriage of 35 years;

Stop trying to mail-order a bride.

Start looking for good friends instead. Open your hearts to friendship, open your house to companions. Expand your family in the more traditional sense-- sharing care and being responsible for each other. Someone might turn out to be the third pea in your pod. Be ready to nurture the love if it comes. Almost every dude -- here's a little secret-- is in fact bisexual, they just are not allowed to say so to themselves.

If there is a sexual attraction, and you all want to play with that do so, but remind yourself-- it's not the same thing as love, and it's not a basis for a poly marriage.

Does that help?

 

[crazylove12345]

Great Advice

Thanks for the advice. That is what we are trying to do and also what has proven to be so difficult as most people we meet are only interested in sex. We have decided Chad isn't the one for us at this time, but maybe in the future. Time to make new friends and explore the world more thoroughly.

We are always looking for new resources and areas to explore. Not much of a known poly presence in our area though.

Lesson learned from Chad: There is a person who is perfect for us in the world, and we are able to identify those qualities together and with agreement.

We will still be chasing Chad, just the idea of him instead Hope we meet lots of people.