Could you marry/make a lifetime commitment to someone

[*bratcat*]

 

[batter]

yes i could.
without a doubt.

 

[Phoenyx]

If I loved her a lot I guess I could. But It would be hard.

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

Nope. Mabey if they were unsure. If they couldn't yes cause i want to adopt at least one anyways.

But no if they were 100% dead set against kids I could never commit to them for life.

I want to settle down with someone and have at least 4 kids. 3 of our own and 1 adopted. Yes i've planed out too much

 

[Debbie]

Im married with my own kids and if I got married again would be ok about him not wanting kids. As long as he accepts mine.
Sister is dating someone who doesn't want kids. She is 29 and has no kids, I think it may not be an issue for them. She is not into kids.

 

[sexy-girl]

i'd have to believe that if someone loved me they would understand that i wanted kids one day


and if they didnt understand that then i'd have to wonder if they loved me

 

[Svedish_Chef]

i'd have to believe that if someone loved me they would understand that i wanted kids one day


and if they didnt understand that then i'd have to wonder if they loved me

Ok then, I'll have kids with you.

To answer the question, yes. But I do want kids

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

i'd have to believe that if someone loved me they would understand that i wanted kids one day


and if they didnt understand that then i'd have to wonder if they loved me

Can I ask you a question about that sexy-girl? (i'm a very curious person and tend to ask millions and millions of questions for no reason. I'm a black hole of information )

 

[Starfish]

I did marry a guy who didn't, but now, going on 5 years later, he wants them when/if I am better and/or able.
It wasn't what I based our relationship on, but I do think that it is important to be open minded to the idea, so I am glad that he has reconsidered. That is cool, and if we don't have kids, it won't be that bad and I am cool with doing my part to keep the people population down so I won't cry or even be bummed if we don't.

 

[MissTaken]

At 36 with two young children, now, I could marry someone who didn't want MORE children.

As with Debbie XXX, he would need to accept my children and understand that it is a package deal!

Quick...I better find Mr. Right while they are still young and cute!

(If they are anything like me, they will be hell on wheels when they are teens. lol)

Going back ten years....pre parenthood...No. I wouldn't have committed to someone who didn't want children as I so badly did.

 

[sexy-girl]

Can I ask you a question about that sexy-girl? (i'm a very curious person and tend to ask millions and millions of questions for no reason. I'm a black hole of information )

sure ask away


this is a discussion forum

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

sure ask away


this is a discussion forum

I know I just like Permision before asking personal stuff.


Okay if you had kids. (I"m assuming your still with lisa at the time) would you artifitaly inseminate? Or would you want your kid(s) to have a physical father figure?

Not to sound sexest I'm just wondering cause male of female a child needs a male in their life. (i've knoticed this with my sister and bothers kids one pair has a father, the other pair don't. I knotice huge differences.)

 

[p_p_man]

Well *bratcat*, I'll let you into a little secret...

After carrying out my own personal survey over many years with test subjects numbered in the 100s...

The answer is no.

 

[lovetoread]

Since I have 3 of them the answer would be no. Kids come first, the man can wait.

But on the flip side would you marry someone that had them?

 

[sexy-girl]

I know I just like Permision before asking personal stuff.


Okay if you had kids. (I"m assuming your still with lisa at the time) would you artifitaly inseminate? Or would you want your kid(s) to have a physical father figure?

Not to sound sexest I'm just wondering cause male of female a child needs a male in their life. (i've knoticed this with my sister and bothers kids one pair has a father, the other pair don't. I knotice huge differences.)

artificial or by adoption ... no physical father


sorry but i disagree with you about needing a male figure to raise a child well ... theres a MILLION things a child needs ... what if the father figure is an animal or abusive ... its not simple enough to say that ALL male/female relationships are the best environment to raise kids ... plenty single mothers raise kids very well and plenty gay couples do as well ... and plenty of male/female relationships raise their children poorly


must importent factors are love and care ... and my relationship with lisa has lots of that

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

artificial or by adoption ... no physical father


sorry but i disagree with you about needing a male figure to raise a child well ... theres a MILLION things a child needs ... what if the father figure is an animal or abusive ... its not simple enough to say that ALL male/female relationships are the best environment to raise kids ... plenty single mothers raise kids very well and plenty gay couples do as well ... and plenty of male/female relationships raise their children poorly


must importent factors are love and care ... and my relationship with lisa has lots of that

I agree with all that. (Children are very important to me, if they are mine or not. I"ve seen kids abused before and cannot stand for it in anyway Love is the most important thing in this world.) I think i mixed up what i was saying again.

When i said that a child needs a male figure (also need a female figure for singel fathers). I didn't neccicarily mean a father . Uncles/Grandfathers/Family firends. (I probly just think this way because both my sister's kids have fucking assholes for fathers)

 

[Nobody Special]

Yes I would and have made that commitment when the Wife and I got together, that was one of the things that fwe had talked about from the start, How difficult it would be for her to have Children due to her Endometriosis. So the Child that we have on the way is a Blessing and will probably be spoiled beyond belief..

SO... yes I have already made that commitment..

E

 

[morninggirl5]

who didn't want kids?

No.

Fly_on_Wall, I agree. Children need both positive male and female influences in their lives. I wish I could believe otherwise, then I could go ahead and have a child alone. But the reality is that children need a mother and a father in their lives every day. Uncles, grandfathers, even great-grandfathers mean a lot, but they don't make up for not having a father there. I have a nephew without a father and I had a roommate who chose to have her son alone. The ache both of these boys have for a father is indescribable. It breaks my heart every time my nephew asks my grandfather if he can be his Daddy for real.

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

Re: Re: Could you marry/make a lifetime commitment to someone

The ache both of these boys have for a father is indescribable. It breaks my heart every time my nephew asks my grandfather if he can be his Daddy for real.

That's kind of why i asked.

My Neice sees me everyday and has never seen her dad a day in her life she is almost 2 and one day called me dad.
My nephew though he sees his dad.... well hears him on the phone only. always promises the kid stuff. called on his 5th birthday and said i'm going to take you to the something... my nephew said. Nope you don't have to. I don't need a father anymore I have my Pa (grandfather) He's alote better then you. Now that gave me a smile, when i heard that he did that.

That right there proves sexy-girls point.. Just cause he was the father he is still an asshole and an animal, that don't deserv kids.

 

[nasty]

A lifetime commitment? With NO KIDS????? HELL YEAH!!!!!!!! I LOVE kids, but I don't know if I'd want my own.

 

[Bob Peale]

Nope.

 

[nasty]

But, I'm with sexy-girl, if I loved someone strong enough, who wanted kids, then I would.

 

[Elizabeth]

Since I have 2 kids and my husband has 2 kids and all 4 live with us, our house is busy enough. But I won't totally rule out having one together. If it happens, fine. If not, fine. The only thing that bothers me is childless people giving child-rearing advice And I think that kids need a male-figure in their lives. It dosen't have to be the dad.

 

[luv2tvl69]

Could you marry/make a lifetime commitment to someone that didnt want kids

Yes. Actually I have never been into the idea of pregnancy and birthing. I think it is wonderful, just not for me. I like kids when they are someone else's. I am always the favorite aunt and I luv to be with and spoil my nieces/nephews and my friends kids, but I just never wanted any of my own.

I never recall playing mommy when I was a child and other than barbies I never played with dolls. Infants really make me a nervous wreck and I wont even babysit until they are atleast 4yrs old. I get more mushy seeing a puppy than an infant. I think they are cute and all, but I just dont get all mushy with infants.

My ideal situation would be to be with a man that already had children.

Sometimes people think I am cold to feel this way, but I just do.

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

who didn't want kids?

There are two separate issues here:

1) Would I marry/commit/etc. to someone who didn't want more children? Yes - that is a requirement for me; I have one child who is married and is ready to give me grandchildren pretty soon. I do not want to sire any more children.

2) Would I marry/etc. someone who already had children? Yes - but only after some consideration of the situation.